A New Way to Begin
by Writergirl2011
Summary: This is my take on how things should have gone from the time Meredith gave Derek the chance to tell her about himself. Secrets will be reveled and unraval but the way they deal with it along the way will be the challenge...MER/DER
1. Chapter 1

**Hey wonderful people who selected this story to read! Thank you for that by the way. This is my second story of Grey's Anatomy, last time I quit, this time I'm not going to, or at least try. I love the show and look forward to Thursdays purposely for that reason. I love where the show is also at in this moment, it makes me giddy. Lol. **

**Ok, here are some things you need to know:**

**Meredith is in her second month of her internship, meaning her and Derek are already together just the Chief doesn't know yet. This is my take on how I would've liked it to go when Meredith gave Derek the opportunity to explain his past. Also, I can not promise to portray Meredith's character to its fullest. I am not a dark and twisty person and I plan on her not being so bad because I am going to try to prevent most of the bad stuff from happening. She will have the Ellis problem, the daddy issues, abandonment issues, the alcohol issues, and trust issues. But some of those not as strong because of Derek, this picks up in the episode either 1.7 or 1.8 where Meredith wants to know more about Derek. I hope you guys enjoy!**

It was Meredith's second month being an intern at Seattle grace hospital and it had only continued to get even more complicated. The fact that she was sleeping with her boss's boss wasn't making it any easier. Of course she hadn't known that he was an attending when she first slept with him she hadn't done anything to stop it. She had only weakly attempted to stop him but with her pleasure he pushed her and persuaded him with his McDreamy smile and she became putty when he did that.

To say she wasn't falling for him would be an understatement. She thought about him constantly no matter where she was and as embarrassing as it was for her to be caught when she did that, she couldn't stop. But right now she was watching him, as he paced around the room getting ready for the hospital and his long shift.

"You know, we never go to your place. Do you have a place?" Meredith asked Derek as he walked around and she sat on the bed they had just gotten up from.

He had spent the past week with her. Not just having sex every night but sometimes just falling asleep together wrapped in each others arms. It had become a comfort to her, one she hadn't ever felt or known before. Her dad left her before she could ever feel that way and her mom always cared more about her work then her daughter. Feeling that way towards Derek was a risk for her and trusting him was an even greater risk, but if it resulted in her feeling the way she did towards him then she would risk it all.

"I like it here and I like being here. You're here, do you not like me being here?" he asked tilting his head to the side and flashing his McDreamy smile.

"No, I like you here. But don't you have a home? Somewhere you need to return to and keep up with things?" she asked curious to find out more things about her lover potential boyfriend.

"I do." he stated then turned back to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

After sharing breakfast together and then heading into the hospital and going their separate ways they returned to their jobs and set aside their personal life, for now.

Meredith entered the intern locker room and quickly changed into her scrubs ready to work. Bailey continued to add to her work load and make her jump threw hoops having her run labs and do paperwork all day.

She was just coming out of the elevator after dropping off blood work and ran into Derek.

"Hey." he said to her with a smile.

"Hi." she responded coolly flashing her own small smile.

"What's wrong?" he asked her stopping to study her more. After spending only a couple months time with her he was already catching on to your facial expressions and learning her more.

"Nothing...I...It's just, why won't you tell me anything about you and your life?" Meredith asked. It had been bothering her lately and she was getting frustrated. Normally she didn't even have relationships, which she was pretty sure this was, and she never cared about the other person but this was different and she actually wanted to get to know him better.

"Why does it bother you?" he asked.

"Because we're sleeping together and know nothing about each other," she explained.

"It's called fate, go with it." he told her flashing her that wonderful smile and taking off down the hall in a hurry.

She let out a frustrated sigh and turned to continue on with her day.

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It was lunch time and she was having lunch with Christina.

"Why does it bug you so much? You get to have sex and not have to worry about the awkward stuff. It's just sex." Christina told her after Meredith had shared the whole story with her.

Honestly she didn't know why it bugged her so much. She never did relationships. Her mom never displayed a healthy relationship with anyone, since she pushed her father away to the point where he left them to find a perfect family for himself and her mother sure as hell didn't have a good relationship with her own daughter. But with Derek it was different. She felt an automatic pull towards him. She _wanted_ to know him, to possibly know enough to make herself fall in love with him, and even though she had never experienced that with anyone, she was sure her feelings were headed towards love, if that was even possible for her.

"Because, we have been sleeping together for over a month. This isn't a one-night stand anymore. It could possibly be a relationship." Meredith answered, asking herself if they were in a relationship or not.

"You guys don't even know if you're in a relationship? Wow, that's nice. Sex and no talking." Christina told her, not helping Meredith at all.

"Thanks for your help Christina." Meredith said bored with her friend now. She stood up with her empty tray and threw it out, exiting the cafeteria and returning back to work.

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Meredith had scrubbed in with Derek on a rock climber who had paralysis and even though Meredith disagreed with Derek cutting into the man's spine without really knowing there was a clot on the spine, once she was in the surgery she was amazed by actually being able to operate and see a real spine in front of her.

They were now both scrubbing out of the surgery next to each other and Meredith couldn't get over the surgery.

"That was amazing!" Meredith declared as she continued to scrub her hands.

Derek glanced over at her and nodded in approval.

"Sorry I disagreed with you, you had good instincts." She praised him, as if he didn't already have a big enough ego.

"You know, some people would call this a relationship." He told her as he leaned against the sink and dried his hands.

Meredith taken back by the subject change took her time to register her thoughts before responding. "Well, how can it be a relationship when I know nothing about you?" she asked. He had actually brought up the conversation she had been debating all day through her mind.

"You want to know more about me?" he asked her with a twinkle in his eye.

"Yes, I do. Don't you want to know more about me?" Meredith asked. She knew that would be hard to do, to actually open up to someone, but if he opened up to her, she could try to do the same.

"I do." He nodded in agreement.

"Okay then." She said with a smile.

"Meet me in the lobby after your shift, I have somewhere I want to take you." He told her before heading off to inform the rock climbers family on the surgery.

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Meredith returned to the Intern locker room and showered quickly before dressing. She had always showered before dressing into her day clothes, rinsing off the many germs her skin had more then likely picked up from her many patients.

Saying a goodnight to her fellow interns before heading out the doors she quickly made it to the lobby. She was running a bit late, but she tried to make up for it by her quick pace down the many hallways.

As soon as she stepped off the elevator her eyes automatically drifted towards Derek, and she saw him looking at her as well. It seemed as if they had a magnetic pull to the other, always being able to detect when the other was in the room.

"Hey, sorry I'm late." She said with an apologetic smile.

"It's ok, ready to go?" he asked with a hint of nervousness in his tone.

He was nervous to share his life story with her. He knew this time would come. Time to tell the truth, to share with her the reason for moving to Seattle and taking the job at Seattle Grace. He knew it would come, yet he was nervous for how she would respond. He knew she wouldn't be happy. And that scared him. He had begun to fall for her the moment he met her eyes in Joe's bar the first night. She was stunningly beautiful, had a warm heart, a great surgeon, and her laugh could bring a rush of so many feelings to his heart he never knew he could feel.

He didn't want to tell her, but he knew he had to.

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**A/N: Ok, so there is the first chapter. How did you like it? REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry, I didn't realize that it posted the same chapter again. Sorry! Here is the real second one.**

**Thank you to those who requested story updates or author alerts or story favorites. Thank you to those who reviewed, though I think it may have only been one or two people. I hope as you guys read you like it more and review it more. I really hope!! Here is the next chapter. As I said earlier, I may not be able to capture Meredith's dark and twisty as well. There will be moments when she is, and I am not going to try to sugar coat anything, just maybe not be as gloomy as other stories. Enjoy!**

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They got in the car and Derek began to drive out of the hospital parking lot. Meredith was sitting in the passenger seat anxious and nervous for the upcoming night to take place. She wasn't sure if telling Derek her past would be a good thing. But she couldn't be a hypocrite; she was the one who was constantly bugging him all day. He wasn't the one hovering and wanting to know stuff, he even told her to go with fate. Well, fate was never on her side, and soon he would find that out. She also didn't want to lie to him, which would be another shady thing to do after bugging him about this.

She wanted a relationship. For once in her life it seemed like she was actually hoping for a chance to have a real adult relationship. No one-night stands after drinking a whole bottle of tequila. No friends with benefits. A real relationship, she wanted to believe she could have that. But with that came consequences, she would have to tell him things, and learn to communicate. She was never good at communicating; her mother never encouraged it and never even participated in it with her own daughter. Whenever Meredith wanted to talk to her mom, she would brush her away telling her she had better things to think about. Her father wasn't any help either; he left her before she could even form any dialogue longer then a few sentences. This also happened to damper her ever having any real friends, where you would just stay up late talking to one-another about things going on. She never experienced that.

She was going to try, try to open up to him and tell him about her mom. She had wanted to tell somebody for a while now, holding her mom's secret in had been hard for her and now she wanted to tell just one person. Depending on all he told her and how he reacted to her mommy issues determined how much else she would tell him.

She had been too busy thinking about what to tell him and what not to tell him that she didn't hear him when he asked her if she wanted to grab something to eat.

"Mer…Meredith?" Derek called from his seat, turning his head frantically from the road to the petite blond sitting next to him.

"Oh, sorry. What?" she asked, crimson coloring her cheeks for not paying attention.

"Wondering if you wanted to get dinner?" he asked her grabbing her hand and placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

"Eh, yeah. That sounds good. I haven't eaten since lunch." She informed him, smiling at his loving gesture. No guy had ever treated her the way Derek did.

"Chinese?" he asked her, deciding on what to eat for dinner.

"Sounds delicious." She said with another smile.

He called in their order and once they got off the ferry went and picked it up.

Meredith had no idea where they were going. She was surprised to see that they were taking the ferry, but when she questioned Derek he just responded saying he had a thing for ferry boats and she would just have to go with it. The rest of the way she sat back and waited to see where he was taking her. She didn't question anymore since she knew he wouldn't tell her.

"Are we almost there?" she asked, they had been driving for about forty five minutes including the ferry ride and she was anxious to see where he was taking her.

"Hmhmm," he hummed from his throat. He often made that sound and Meredith loved it.

"Good, because I am starving and that food smells really good." Meredith said with a little laugh.

The laugh warmed Derek's heart. And as he pulled onto his dirt driveway heading up to his trailer he began to get nervous. He was about to tell her all about his past, the various things that had made Derek himself and the reasons for flying across the country.

"Now can you tell me where we are?" she asked as she took in the scenery of trees and woods taking up all the land.

"You will see once we get out." He told her as he parked and got out. She let herself out, not willing to wait long enough for him to come around and open the door for her.

"Ok, so where are we?" she asked impatiently.

He smiled with a chuckle escaping his mouth, "Impatient are we?" he asked, hiding his nervousness.

"Yes." She said firmly.

"Well, this is where I live." He responded motioning for her to turn around and take in the land and trailer.

She turned herself around and looked at the rest of the land. There were a variety of full grown trees all around her and areas with nothing but grass and then there was the trailer. It was small but for some reason she could see Derek living in it. The whole area and trailer seemed to fit him. Behind the trailer and porch attached to the front, there was a pathway that she assumed led up to more of his land.

"Wow." She responded after taking it all in. There were no other words for her to use.

"You like it?" Derek asked nervous for her response.

"Love it; it's so beautiful and peaceful out here. You really live in a trailer?" she asked with a smile.

"Yeah, I didn't need a big house and the land was so beautiful I bought it all. Also, there's a river over there great for fishing." He told her pointing off to another area of the land.

"Wow." She responded again.

"Still want to know more about me?" he asked her.

"Yeah, I do." She told him with a nod. Seeing the land made her nerves disappear just a little bit and she gained the courage to grad his hand and lead him to the trailer.

They walked up the land and porch and after he opened the door to the trailer she stepped in and took in the interior. It was definitely small. One bed on the far left side, shower, bathroom, kitchen, dinning area; it was all in one line with no space in between. But she loved it.

"It's nice, small but very nice." She told him with a reassuring smile.

Her loving his trailer made it easier for him to face the rest of the night. He was more ready to tell her more.

They sat at the little table not ready to eat yet. Talk first, and then eat.

"Ok, I'll start with some basics. My mother's maiden name, Maloney. I have four sisters. I have nine nieces. Five nephews. I like coffee ice cream, single-malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar. I like to fly fish. And I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on Sunday. And I never dance in public. Um, favorite novel, The Sun Also Rises. Favorite band, The Clash. My favorite color is blue. I don't like light blue, indigo. The scar right here on my forehead, that's why I don't ride motor cycles anymore. You get more soon, but I want to hear your basics." He said with a smile. That part had been easy, the next step he knew wouldn't be.

"Ok, I have no sisters. Well they aren't actually full sisters the ones I have, they are half. I have no nieces or nephews. I like strawberry ice cream and tequila. I have no other thing I love to do, other then surgery, I can finish a crossword puzzle all on my own, with out cheating," She added with a smile, "I also never dance in public, unless I am drunk. Not sure what my favorite book or band would be, there are a lot of greats out there. My biggest flaw is I avoid things, a lot of things, mostly past stuff and emotional stuff. My favorite color is lavender and the only scars I have are the ones from my past, but their emotional." She finished with a small smile. "There's the basics."

"Those are very good basics, we should do the crossword puzzles together." He said with a small laugh.

"Why, so you can use me instead of the back of the book? I don't think so, you're going to do those on your own without cheating and without using me!" she said with a giggle.

"I love your laugh." Derek confessed as he felt his heart warm from the sound.

"So, I guess I should go first since I'm the one who bugged you for information." She told him with a smile.

"That sounds fair." He told her with a reassuring smile for her to start her story.

"Alright, well. I was born with my parents being Thatcher Grey and Ellis Grey, yes the Ellis Grey. She poured her whole life into her work and apparently while she was doing that she was also having an affair with Richard Webber." Meredith continued while looking down at her lap the whole time. "My dad took care of me and did everything he apparently could, until it became too much and he left my mom and I when I was only five years old."

"Richard broke things off with my mom around then so he could fix his relationship with his wife. My mom moved me to Boston and raised me feeling like I was nothing more then a failure so therefore she spent my whole childhood buried under all her work. When mothers were coming home to their kids to fix dinner, my mom was starting her fifth surgery of the day while I was at home either with a nanny or making my own dinner as I got older. My dad never kept in contact through out my childhood."

"When I got out of high school I went away to Europe and spent a years over there, avoiding my mom. I didn't want to go to med school at the time, but when I decided to and I went to call my mom about it, I ended up getting another call from her lawyer telling me she had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She didn't want anyone to know, so when I started my internship and people asked about my mother I simply just told them she was either traveling or doing something else that wouldn't require any questions."

"My dad never knew who I was as I grew older, never knew that I went to Dartmouth, and never knew that I became a doctor. He went off got remarried, and started his own perfect family, brushing me away in the process. Till this day he still doesn't know where I'm at or what I've become. He simply doesn't care and I haven't tried to reach him since." She said as tears roamed down her face.

"So, there's my story, well most of it anyway. I have mommy issues and daddy abandonment issues and I simply don't have a family. That's who I am." Meredith told him glancing up at him for the first time since she started her story. She thought she'd see pity, or mockery, but there was nothing but compassion and kindness in his eyes.

"Meredith, I am so sorry." He whispered to her, resting his hand on top of the one she had sitting on the table. He raised the hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently and then returning it back to the table.

"It's crappy, but that's my past. Now you decide if that scares you away or not." She told him with vulnerability in her eyes and voice. She hated being vulnerable, but something about Derek made it seem ok to be that way.

"I decide to stay with you Meredith, that doesn't scare me. It shows me you are a strong person and that what you went through has made you the beautiful, brilliant woman you are now. I'm not leaving, and I'm not letting you push me away." Derek told her as he went to her side and hugged her.

She looked up at him and he brushed her unshed tears away along with that ones that had fallen earlier.

"Thank you." She whispered softly.

"You don't need to thank me Meredith." He told her softly as he kissed her with tenderness.

"It's your turn." She told him as she fixed her appearance with a swipe of her hand to get rid of the rest of the tears.

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Review!

And what did you guys' think about that episode last night? CRAZINESS!!! That was an insane and intense way to end the show!


	3. Chapter 3

"Since I told you my story, it's your turn." She told him as she sat down again at her side. She had gone to the bathroom to fix her appearance and was returning now and facing Derek as she sat back down.

"Are you sure?" He asked nervousness crossing his face.

"Derek, why are you so nervous to tell me the rest of your story?" Meredith asked him.

"Because I'm afraid I could lose you." He nervously responded with being reminded to the next topic he would dread.

"Try me, just tear it off like a band-aid or whatever." She persuaded him.

"Like a band-aid huh?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes."

"Okay, well I used to live in New York City, where my family is close by with all their kids and where I grew up." He started, he looked to her and she smiled and nodded for him to continue. "I grew up with my best friend being Mark Sloan, he practically became my brother. He came over everyday if he didn't stay the night before, we would fish and spend time outside together, he was the escape from my four sisters." He continued.

He took a deep breath before continuing.

"When I got married eleven years ago," he started again no longer looking at her, "he was my best man. He helped me pick out a ring, helped me set up the proposal, and eventually he stood up next to me when I vowed to be faithful to my wife." He stopped, needing a deep breath to finish with the rest of it.

"Derek, what happened?" Meredith asked curious and concerned for what happened to him and his friend and the wife she never knew about.

"It had been eleven years of marriage; we had gone through Med School and our internship together and everything else and built a practice. I had started to work later each night, no longer feeling the need to see her everyday. I just, didn't feel the need to look at her and visit with her, so I stayed later at work. One day, I decided to go home, I was going to change being absent and refocus on my marriage," he said, "I went home on a rainy night and walked in my house. Automatically I realized something wasn't right, the house was dark and no one was downstairs, also there was just his feeling I got." He stopped, he couldn't finish.

"Derek, it's ok, you can tell me." Meredith said soothingly reaching out her hand to rest on his. She had never felt the need to be there for someone, but right now she realized he had a dark past too and needed help telling his story.

"I went upstairs to my room, ready to get in my bed and sleep next to my wife. When I opened the door…she was in there, with Ma…Mark. They were having sex. My best friend and wife." He finished letting out a deep ragged breath as one silent tear cascaded down his face.

"Oh, Derek." Meredith said out of shock. She moved from her seat across from him and moved over to his. She hesitantly moved to sit on his lap, unsure if he would welcome her. To her surprise he pulled her on his lap and held her close in a desperate attempt to not break down. He buried his nose in her hair, smelling the sweet scent that always relaxed him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes that seemed to be hours before Meredith raised her head from his shoulder and looked at him.

"Derek, what happened next?" she asked hesitantly.

"I walked out of the room after they already saw me and once Mark left I threw her stuff out of the house as well as her as she cried telling me it wasn't what I thought it was. But it was. It was exactly what I thought; she had cheated on me with my best friend. Because I had become absent in our relationship. Eventually I packed my own bag and left for Seattle. You know the rest." He told her sadly.

"What about your marriage?" she asked.

"We've signed papers, but it's not finalized yet. It will be in two weeks." He told her wearily.

"So, you're still married?" she asked surprised.

"Yes, but Meredith I'm getting a divorce."

"That's why you thought I would leave, because…because you are still married." Meredith said, piecing it together.

"Yes, but I'm getting a divorce."

"But you're not…you're not divorced. You have been married this whole time…this whole time you have been married and we have done things, a lot of things, that aren't allowed when someone is married to another woman." She said sliding off his lap.

"Please, Meredith. Don't get upset." He told her standing up next to her.

"Upset? Derek, I'm a dirty mistress!" Meredith screamed at him, disgusted with herself. Sure she had been with a lot of guys before, and so she could be called a slut, but she had never been with a guy who was married!

"No! No, you're not! My marriage was over before I came out here, before she even cheated on me!" Derek told her, forcing her to know this.

"But it wasn't Derek, the papers still aren't finalized." She told him.

"Meredith, the marriage is over. In my mind, in my heart, in her mind and her heart. She's been with Mark this whole time. We've separated everything. It's all final, except the papers." He told her, praying more then anything he wouldn't lose her.

"But see Derek, that's what makes that final." She told him.

"No, what makes it final is when the couple decides it's over." He told her.

"Derek, I can't be a home wrecker or a dirty mistress." She told him with tears glistened in her eyes.

"You're not." He assured her, coming closer to her as she stood near the counter.

"But, I am. I got involved in this mess. But I have to get out of it…" she started saying before he cut her off.

"No Meredith, no! You can't…you can't end this!" he exclaimed fear coming across his mind and face.

"Derek, I have to. I can't be with a married guy." Meredith told him sadly as her tears left her eyes and fell down her face.

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Review!!


	4. Chapter 4

"_Derek, I can't be a home wrecker or a dirty mistress." She told him with tears glistened in her eyes._

"_You're not." He assured her, coming closer to her as she stood near the counter._

"_But, I am. I got involved in this mess. But I have to get out of it…" she started saying before he cut her off._

"_No Meredith, no! You can't…you can't end this!" he exclaimed._

"_Derek, I have to. I can't be with a married guy." Meredith told him sadly as her tears left her eyes and fell down her face._

"Meredith, I can't lose you." Derek said as the thought registered in his mind and tears formed in his eyes. "Her and I are over, she's in New York."

"And what if she were to come back Derek, what then? If she came here and got a job and told you how sorry she was and that she wanted to try again, what then? You would go back to her and try to make it work." She told him.

"No, I wouldn't. Her and I are done. I don't love her anymore, I don't think I ever did."

"You never did?! Derek, you married her!" Meredith informed him.

"Yeah, but that was before I ever felt what true love was." Derek told her softly.

"Oh, and you know now?!" She asked as if it were the most insane thing ever.

"Yes, I do. The way I feel for you Meredith…"

"Don't!" Meredith yelled blinking tears out of her eyes and backing away from him.

"Mer…"

"No, Derek! You don't get to say you love me! You don't get to say that you love me more than you ever loved her! Not…not when you're still married to her…not when there's…a chance you could go back to her." Meredith sobbed.

"Meredith, there is no chance. I would never go back to her, all I want is you." Derek pleaded.

"There is…there is a chance because you are still married." She told him with frustrated, angry, and hurt tears flowing freely now.

"But I am getting a divorce!" he yelled for what felt like the tenth time that night. "I signed the papers, sent them to the lawyer, they are finalizing it, we both split the stuff, and it's done! I have nothing left with her." He told her.

"So, if she were to come back and tell you she made a mistake, you wouldn't take her back? You would give up everything you guys went through, all the memories, your whole eleven years of marriage?" she asked.

"Yes, without a doubt Meredith." Derek told her.

"I can't become my mother Derek, I can not be a home wrecker, or become stuck in this someway. I saw what my mom went through, and all the pain, I don't want to go through that." She told him with a shake of her head.

"You won't Meredith, trust me." He told her.

She looked up at him, not sure how she felt any longer. She was angry the divorce wasn't final, she was angry he hadn't told her about it sooner, she was angry that she had fallen for him so soon. She was angry for a lot of things. Before she had trusted him, but now she wasn't sure how she felt.

"You can trust me, right Meredith? This hasn't screwed everything up has it?" he asked with worry spread across his face and heavily in his tone.

"I…I don't know." She told him with confusion on her face.

"Meredith…" he breathed out, hurt and guilt evident on his face.

"I just, what else Derek? I mean do you have other wives in other countries?" she asked curious.

"No, of course not!" He said loudly with half amusement in his voice.

"Oh, this is funny to you?" she asked with raised eye-brows.

"No, but Meredith, honestly? Wives in other countries?" he asked.

"Well, I don't know Derek, I didn't know about this one." She said, stabbing him with her words.

"I'm sorry." He said as he lowered his head like he was a little boy who just got in trouble.

"Any other girls your dating? Any syphilis I need to be concerned about?" she asked.

"You think I've been with other women?" he asked with anger and incredulous in his voice.

"Yes." She said simply.

"Meredith, I have not been unfaithful to you." He told her.

"Well, we never really made anything official so I never really knew what you were doing." She told him.

"I've been staying at your house for the past month." He told her.

"Still Derek…" she told him.

"Wait…have you been with other guys?" he asked with anger and jealousy mixed with possessiveness.

"No! I haven't. You've been the only one." She told him looking down shyly.

"Meredith, we are in a relationship, there have been no other women and I would never and will never go back to Addison." He reassured her, letting go of any feeling besides love go.

"Are you sure Derek? That's a big decision. You should take time and think about it." she told him.

"I don't need time or want time. I made this decision before I met you, actually the day I met you. That's why I was in the bar." He told her.

"Derek, I trust you. With all my heart, and I don't do that. In fact I never do that. But I am taking it up on faith and fate and whatever else you want to call it. Don't mess it up, please." She told him, insecurity coming back into her eyes.

"Meredith, you have no idea how happy I am to hear that you trust me. I won't break it, I promise. I am not going to screw this up. I meant everything I said before…"

"Derek, don't. Don't tell me what I think you are going to tell me, not yet. Not tonight." She told him.

"Meredith, I'm not going to hurt you." He told her sincerely.

"Okay, then it can wait. Anyway, tonight doesn't seem like a great time to say it, since all this drama." She told him.

"Ok, fine." He told her. "Are we okay?" he asked with hope in his eyes.

"Yeah, we're fine. Even though this has been nothing but drama and craziness, I'm glad we talked. I don't talk to really anyone, and no one really knows about my past, just you and Cristina. But I trust you." She told him with a smile as she kissed him on the lips.

"I'm glad, Meredith you can tell me anything. And I'm glad I told you too, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, it's just I really thought you would leave me, but I am so glad you didn't."

"Well, you didn't let me go easily." She told him with a small smile coming to her face.

"Damn right I'm not, I care too much. And Meredith I will never become absent in our relationship, I promise." He told her with firmness.

"Okay, I believe you. But if you feel like you don't want to be in this relationship…"

"Won't happen." Derek told her, cutting her off.

"Ok, but if it does…"

"No." Derek told her with a smile and a shake of his head.

"Ok, fine. Since you wont let me finish." Meredith told him with smile.

"Should we eat?" he asked.

"We should, I'm starving." She told him with a smile as she grabbed the food.

"You make me happy Meredith." Derek told her with a smile. He settled for that instead of telling her what he really wanted to tell her, but she wouldn't let him.

"You make me happy too Derek." She told him as well as returning the smile.

------------------------

Review!!!! I fixed it. I didn't want them to break up over this so I fixed it a little. It might seem like it is fixed too soon, but it causes problems later….

You'll see and please review!


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a week since they told each other everything, and they seemed to be getting better. Meredith was glad she had shared her secrets with him and told him about her mom. Everything had been hectic in her first months of internship and keeping her moms secret had added to the pressure. Everyone kept asking questions about her mom, and she had easily lied to all of them telling them she was traveling, but it had gotten harder each day.

She was lying in her bed wrapped up in Derek's arm when her phone went off. She quickly grabbed it off the end table and slid out of bed, not wanting to wake Derek up. She quietly moved over to the far end of the bedroom and answered quietly.

"Hello," she whispered.

"Hello, Miss Grey, it's the nursing home. Your mother seems to be asking for you, do you have time to come in today?" The nurse asked.

"Uh, I can try to come in this morning, is that good?" she asked still keeping her voice soft as she looked over at an undisturbed Derek.

"Perfect, we'll be looking for you, your mother will be very happy to see you." The nurse said back cheerfully before ending the call.

Meredith couldn't help but think of the stress this would cause to her day. Her mother probably wasn't asking for her per say, she was more then likely expecting the little five year old her mom only seemed to remember as herself.

Meredith let out a quiet sigh of frustration and turned to go into the bathroom when she heard Derek from the bed.

"Who was that?" Derek asked with sleep in his voice.

"Uh, just someone I have to meet this morning." She answered him, hoping he would forget it and go back to sleep. She was better at telling him stuff, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to let him know where her mother was.

"Meredith, you're keeping something from me…" he told her as he turned onto his back and sat up to look at her.

"Derek, it's nothing, don't worry about it." she told him.

"Why won't you tell me? Is this someone I know?" he asked curious.

"No, you don't. Like I said, don't worry about it." she told him again.

"I thought we were telling each other things now?" He asked, hurt that she was keeping something from him.

"We are Derek…" she said frustrated.

"Then why wont you tell me?" he asked.

"Because, it's about my mom." She answered quickly and loudly, frustrated he was still pushing this.

"Right, we never did get to discuss her, want to now? We have time." He told her with a sympathetic look.

"No, I don't have time, I have to go shower." She said quickly as she turned into the joined bathroom.

She shut the door behind her and slid down it resting on the ground. She ran her hands through her hair and rested her head against her knees. After a few moments of relaxing on the floor, she stood up and turned the water on. As she peeled her pajamas off she checked the water and stepped in the shower.

The anger and pain came back into her as she thought about all the stress her mother had caused her through out the years and began to cry at the pain she felt. She wished she could tell Derek, and he would understand. But, he couldn't. He grew up with the perfect family. The beautiful house with the freakin picket fence, the freakin dog, and perfect life. She didn't, hers was dark and twisty.

While thinking of this Derek pulled himself out of bed and stepped into the bathroom, walking into the steam from her shower. He undressed himself and slid the glass door to step in behind her. Wrapping his arms around her middle, he felt her jump then relax as she realized it was him. He smiled at the thought that she relaxed whenever he touched her or was near. It made him feel important to her.

"Derek, what are you doing in here?" she asked him.

"Showering with you," he answered with a smile.

"Derek, I have to be out of here and leave soon." She reminded him.

"Ah, yes to the mystery place concerning your mom." He said as he kissed her neck.

"Yes, now get out." She said coldly.

"No, Meredith. I want you to talk to me," he told her as he spun her around and noticed how her eyes were red from crying. "Meredith, why have you been crying?" he asked softly as he caressed her face in his hands.

"It's nothing Derek," she told him brushing it off.

"No, it is. Meredith, we're in a relationship. To the point where I have been sleeping over at your house more then my own, to the point where I have a tooth brush and most of my stuff here. And also to the point where we talk. Now, in the past two weeks we have been talking more, and we told each other our dark stories. I want you to talk to me. Tell me what's going on with your mom." He pleaded.

She didn't want to, but she also did. No one else could relate to her, but telling him would be the closet thing she could get to it.

"Fine, the nursing home called, my mom is asking for me." She told him, looking down at her feet.

"That's good though, right. She might be a little lucid?" he asked.

"No, I've been visiting her since I put her there, and every time she recognizes me, she thinks I'm still a little girl and asks me why I'm there and telling me she has a surgery to attend to. It's nothing new, but I feel bad if I don't go and the nursing home already thinks I'm neglecting her and not visiting enough, so I'm going this morning." She told him.

"I see do you want me to go with you?" he asked lovingly.

"No, it's bad enough when I go. You don't need to see that, see the type of woman she is. You should remember her as the great surgeon who came up with the Grey Method or whatever." She told him.

"Mer, I want to go and be there with you. And I don't remember her like that. I remember her as a woman who neglected her beautiful, extraordinary daughter and left her to fend for herself when she needed her mother most."

"Derek, you don't understand it. You can't. You grew up with the perfect life, I didn't. You don't need to see my dark and twisty past." She told him not meeting his eyes as hers clouded with tears.

"Meredith, I understand the dark and twisty, I do. Let me be here for you."

"You are here, but not at the nursing home. There's a chance Richard is there." She told him.

"Why would he be there?" Derek asked confused.

"Well, I told you they had an affair, he is the reason my life turned out so bad actually." Meredith told him.

"So he visits your mother, and acts like he did nothing?!" Derek asked, angry at his boss.

"Derek, it isn't a big deal, and you shouldn't act any differently around him. He's your boss, and he doesn't know about us and it should stay that way." She told him.

"It is a big deal, Meredith. He ruined your childhood and is still visiting your mom. He treats you like he did nothing. And even though he is my boss, I don't have to be nice to him on a personal level. I'll keep it professional. And I think we should tell him about us."

"What?! Why?" Meredith asked surprised by his confession.

"Because, this is serious Mer. You and me, we're not just fooling around, we're in a relationship. A long lasting one, we shouldn't keep that from him, especially if he was to find out by someone else or if later on we take a step further." Derek explained to her.

"A step further?" Meredith asked confused.

"Yeah, like if down the line we want to get married. We can't keep it from him." Derek told her.

"Derek…how can you…how can you even…think…about…that?" she asked hardly getting the words out since she was freaking out a little inside.

"Because Meredith, I love you." He told her with a smile.

"Derek…" Meredith said, unsure of what else to say.

"I do Meredith, and I'm not saying you have to say it back. I'm just letting you know. And I understand if you need more time. But I'm in love with you, and I want you to know that. And sometimes I think about the future and what I want to do with the rest of my life, and nothing has ever been as clear as you being there with me, through it all." He told her with his McDreamy smile.

"Derek, I can't…I can't say it back. You're still married. And we've hardly been together that long, and I'm still an intern, and I don't know…I don't know what I want…two weeks from now let alone…years from now. I'm sorry…I just…I can't." she rambled, unsure of what else to say.

"Hey, it's ok. You don't have to say it. But is the reason really because my divorce isn't final?" he asked getting the guilty look and feeling all over again.

"Partly, it is. But also because…I've never said it to anyone before Derek, I've never done this…this relationship thing. I just, I don't know what to do, but you have to know that I do care for you." She told him, she felt bad that she couldn't let all her walls down just yet, she wanted to, but she couldn't. She also knew she loved him, she was sure of it. Mainly because she never felt this way before, but now she was sure she couldn't tell him yet.

"I know you do, and like I said it's ok. I didn't say it for you to say it back. I said it because I feel that way. And I still think we should tell the chief." He said reminding her.

"Um, ok…just let me think about it for a while ok?" she asked him, hopeful.

"Ok." He told her with a smile.

The water in the shower that had been cascading around them turned cold, causing Derek to reach over and turn it off and help Meredith safely out of the tub.

"So, I really cant go with you?" he asked her a few minutes later as they were drying off.

"Derek, I know you are trying to be here for me, and I am so grateful for that, but I'm just not ready for you to meet her yet. She's brutal and mean and honest. And she says things to me that are extremely harsh and I just don't want you to be shown that yet. Maybe next time I go, I'll let you know and we can go together." She told him.

"I just don't want you to get hurt, Meredith." He told her lovingly.

"I know you don't, but it's going to happen rather you're there or not. Just this way, she can't say anything to you." She told him.

"I don't care what she says to me, I care what she says to you." He told her. "I want to be there for you."

"Then, if I need it, I'll come find you at the hospital when I get in." she told him with a slight smile.

"I want you to come find me even if you don't need it, I'll probably be in my office so you can just come in." he told her with a smile.

"What if you aren't in there?" she asked.

"I should be, but if not then here," He told her leaving the room then coming back within moments to place in her hand a key to his office.

"You're giving me your key? Then you definitely won't be in there when I come." She joked with him.

"No, this is your key." He told her with a grin.

"You're giving me a key to your office?" she asked surprised.

"Yes, I am. This way if you need some place to sleep, relax, study, shower, eat or get away from a bad day, you can escape to my office. And if I'm in there then we can sleep, relax, study, shower, eat and get away together." He told her wiggling his eye brows at a few of his suggestions.

"Are you sure, Derek?" she asked.

"Positive." He told her with a smile, placing a kiss on her lips to seal the deal.

---------------------------

I know nothing much happened but she talked about her mom a little and he gave her a key to his office and said a bunch of sweet things! Just the way I love my Mer/Der stuff. Okay, so a bunch of stuff to come in upcoming chapters. I'm glad you guys are reading and I hope you are enjoying and review!!!!!

Thank you to everyone!


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to those who reviewed! Means a lot to me and I love the feedback. I decided to update early just because! Exams are tomorrow and Wednesday so I decided to take a break and update! Hope you enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------Chapter 6-----------------------------------------------------

After Meredith got ready and headed out the door to the nursing home, she stopped to get coffee at one of the many Starbucks on the way. Pulling into the parking lot with her steaming cappuccino, she parked her car then stepped out into the muggy air that surrounded her and the rest of Seattle.

She opened the door to the building she had become use to the past months, and was met with the familiar smell and slightly homey feel to the place. She turned her head and saw the lady who called her standing behind a desk.

"Miss. Grey, nice to see you made it! She's in the living room now, if you would like to go in and see her." The lady told her in a cheerful voice.

"Thank you," Meredith responded politely as she walked into the other room.

She spotted her mom sitting on the couch staring off into the room with a blank expression.

"Hi Mom," Meredith said to her as she sat down next to the older woman she learnt to despise growing up.

"Who are you, are you sure I know who you are?" her mother responded as she looked towards her.

"Mom, it's me, Meredith." Meredith responded, this is what made the trips hard. Having to remind her mother who her own daughter was.

"Meredith…" the woman said thoughtful as she continued to ponder the name. "Meredith, my daughter?" she asked confused.

"Yes, mom. It's me." She said again.

"What are you doing here? And why are you all grown up?" she asked still confused.

"I'm here to visit you mom, and I'm an intern at Seattle Grace." She told her mom with a smile, hoping to get a response out of her mom.

"Seattle Grace, ah…I spent my residency there…with Richard Webber…" her mother said as a thoughtful smile came upon her lips.

"Yes, mom that's right." Meredith praised her, as the ladies told her to do long ago.

"You're an intern?" her mom asked as if she was just told this, pulling her from her thoughts of Richard.

"Yes mom, I am." Meredith answered.

She knew she said mom a lot when talking with her mother, but the nurses told her it was better if she kept saying it so Ellis would remember it more.

"What are you doing being an intern? You'll never be good enough or brave enough to become a doctor. You wasted years away in Europe, slacking off…you won't be able to work as a doctor." Ellis told her.

"But mom, I went to Dartmouth, I'm an intern and I'm probably one of the best out of my group." Meredith told her, not wanting to take her mom's words to heart.

"That's only because of me. You're just like your father Meredith, weak and unable to work hard at anything." Ellis scolded her. "What else have you been doing Meredith, tell me that's not the only interesting thing you have been up to."

"Well, I'm seeing someone. He's a neurosurgeon." Meredith told her, happy for the subject change.

"What happened to you Meredith? You used to be so strong, I used to believe that you could make it in anything. You've ruined yourself, and dating a neurosurgeon? He's not going to help you any, he'll just screw the next one that comes along. You shouldn't let a relationship dictate your life or future Meredith, you could have been extraordinary." Her mother ranted, tearing Meredith to pieces word by word.

After sitting there for moments letting her mother's words sink in, Meredith looked back up at her mom.

"Who are you? Do I know you?" Her mother asked her, forgetting everything that had just unfolded.

"No, you don't." Meredith mumbled as she stood up and left, not stopping to look or talk to the lady that had greeted her ten minutes prior.

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Meredith pulled into a random parking lot at the hospital and ran towards the elevators, taking the floor that would lead her to Derek's office. She wanted that relaxing place to disappear to before her rounds started, and she found it harder to keep her tears at bay as she exited the elevator.

"Meredith." She heard Derek call only loud enough for her to hear.

She ran past him and made it to his office, shoving the key in and unlocking it quickly. Once the door was opened and she was in she slammed it shut as she went to the couch to lie down on her stomach.

She heard the door open and knew it was Derek. He walked over to his chair and rolled it up next to the couch, scooting closer to her.

"Meredith…what happened?" he asked gently.

"My mother." She said through her tears.

"Come here." He told her as he opened his arms up and she climbed into his lap.

"Shh, it's ok, it's ok Meredith…" he soothed her.

"It's not Derek! I'm a…I'm a…a failure…and weak!" she yelled at him.

"You're not, and if she told you that then she has never known the real you, Meredith." He told her. "She probably didn't mean anything she was saying…her disease, its…"

"Don't defend her, Derek!" she told him harshly pulling away slightly.

"I'm not, I'm not Meredith. I am a hundred percent on your side, I'm just letting you know…"

"I know about her disease Derek, god! Why does everyone think I am a stupid person who cant become a doctor!?" she yelled as she stood up off his lap and walked away from him.

"Meredith, I never said that! And I don't think that. You are an amazing doctor, the best in your group." He told her softly as he walked back over to her.

"Yeah, well my mom doesn't see it that way. Apparently I'm weak, and unable to work at anything. And the only reason I have become as great as people think is because of her and my last name!" she ranted.

"That's not true Meredith. If anything you have had to work harder because of that…and because of me." He said.

"That's another thing, she told me I shouldn't be involved in a relationship. I shouldn't be with a neurosurgeon because you're just going to move on to the next one that comes along." She said pacing around the room.

"That's not true either Meredith. You know I never would, remember, I love you." He told her stopping her pacing and wrapping his arms around her small frame.

"Try telling my mother that."

"I wish I could have," Derek said holding her tighter.

"I'm sorry." Meredith said after moments of relaxing in his hold.

"For what?" he asked confused.

"For laying all of this on you, for not letting you go with me when you wanted to, and now you probably never will want to go with me because I told you no and then now you know how she is and what she is like. A horrible, horrible woman, and I ruined the chance for you to be able to idol her as a surgeon, I'm just sorry for…for everything." She finished her rant.

"Meredith, I don't mind you coming to me with this, if you remember I actually came to you. I want you to be able to come and talk to me about everything and anything. And I'm not scared of your mother, if anything I want to go see her with you now more than before. And I never idolized her." He told her.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really, I figured I could pull off the Grey method and call it the Shepard method later on." He said with a twinkle in his eye and smirk placed on his lips.

"Oh, god! You're ego is so huge!" she remarked with a smile.

"Oh, don't I know it!" he said with a laugh.

"Not in that way, Derek!" she giggled, feeling better.

Derek looked at her in amazement at how wonderful of a woman she truly was.

"Well, it could be taken in both ways." He told her.

"I meant psychologically." She told him with a smile.

"You mean it's not the other way?" he asked with a big grin.

"No, it is…" she told him with a smile.

"Glad to hear that, you had me worried there for a minute." He told her with a smirk.

"Thanks again Derek." She told him.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked.

"I am, you made me laugh and it helped, talking to you helped." She told him.

"Good, I'm glad." He told her kissing her tenderly pulling away slightly when they heard Derek's phone begin to ring.

He looked down at the caller ID and silenced the phone.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" she asked curious as to why he silenced the phone.

"No, I'm busy right now." He told her with a smile.

She returned the smile and kissed him lightly.

After spending a few moments wrapped in each others arms Meredith left to go report to Bailey with rounds as Derek turned back to his charts. They made plans for lunch, and with that Meredith was feeling better. Derek's phone continued to ring but he silenced it every time, not wanting to speak to the person on the other line.

------------------------------

Who is it?? Wanna guess???

Some stuff coming up. I decided to update early. This one is short, but it leads up to stuff and shows Meredith actually talking about stuff and not running away.

Let me know your thoughts please!!

Review!


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks to those who reviewed, the person who has been calling is revealed at the end of this chapter!

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Meredith spent her morning working in the pit, due to being late for rounds, and she was ready for a break. She had just finished stitching up a patient and was filling out their chart when she saw Derek come through the door.

"Dr. Shepard." She addressed him with a smile, knowing he hated it when she did that when no one else was around.

"Meredith, please. The name just sounds so cold when no one else is around." He told her with a sad look on his face.

"I know, I'm just teasing. Sorry." She told him with a wink.

"Ready for lunch?" he asked.

"Yeah, Alex just walked in to relieve me." She told him with a smile as she placed the chart in with the others. "Alex, I'm taking off to lunch!" she called out to him. He gave a small nod and she left with Derek at her side.

"Can we eat in your office?" she asked him.

"Sure, we normally do." He told her.

"That's because I don't need the hospital gossiping about me sleeping with my boss." She told him.

"I'm your boss's boss." He told her with a wink.

"Still, I don't need any gossip going on about me." She told him.

"So, that's why you don't want to tell anyone." He said.

"It's not like no one knows. My roommates and the rest of the interns in my group know. And I got enough crap from them." she told him.

"We'll talk about this in my office." He told her as he got in the food line for their lunch.

She headed off to the vending machine to get their drinks and met up with him outside the cafeteria. They got on the elevator and made it to his office. He set the two salads down and Meredith just looked at him.

"What?" he asked with a smile.

"Another salad?" she asked annoyed.

"They're healthy, and good for you Mer." He informed her.

"I know, but this is the third time this week." She told him.

"Just looking out for your health." He told her.

"Are you saying I'm fat?" she asked him offended.

"Not at all, you're beautiful." He responded with a smile.

"Nice diversion there." She said with a laugh.

"I'm just saying, with all the crap you eat it's going to take years off your life, and I'm trying to prevent that." He informed her.

"I'm definitely not marrying you now…" she said with a laugh as she took a bite of her rabbit food.

"And you were before?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well, it was a far away thought, but now I know you're just going to shove healthy food in my face, and there is no way I'm living like that." She said with a laugh, happy they could joke about this.

"Whatever, it would only be so I could keep you with me longer." He defended.

"Whatever you say Derek." She said with a smile.

Derek's phone went off again and he silenced it once he looked at it.

"Another phone call, why aren't you taking them?" she asked curious.

"Because they're not important and I'm busy when they call." He told her, avoiding her look and staring down at his food.

"You aren't busy, we're eating." She told him.

"Right, I'm busy eating lunch with my gorgeous girlfriend." He told her with a smile.

"Cheesy Derek." She told him as she shoved another bite in her mouth to hide her smile.

"But yet so true." He said gazing at her eyes.

----------------------------

The rest of Meredith's day she worked in the pit with Alex and filled out charts. It had been a busy day and she was glad it was almost over.

She finished up with her last patient and headed to the locker room to change.

"Hey, wanna go to Joe's tonight with us?" Izzie asked motioning to the rest of the interns as the 'us'.

"Sorry I can't, Derek and I have plans to go out to eat. I guess it's kinda a date." She told them with an apologetic smile as she closed her locker.

"McDreamy, again? You spend every night with him, it's like you guys' are married." Cristina muttered.

"We just like spending time together, Cristina. Maybe you should start doing that with Burke." Meredith shot back at her.

"Shut up." Cristina responded as she grabbed her things and headed out the door. The rest of them followed out after her, with Meredith as the last.

As she made her way to the elevator she saw Derek coming towards her with the smile on his face that was only reserved for her.

"Ready to go out to dinner?" he asked.

"Yeah, what did you have in mind?" she asked as they stepped onto the elevator and stepped closer into him and smelt his familiar scent that calmed her.

"Hmmm, steak dinner." He told her taking a whiff of her hair as he held her in his arms.

"Sounds delicious." She said, "with wine." She added.

"Okay, let's get going." He told her as he stepped off the elevator.

His phone rang again and he silenced it for the tenth time that day.

"Who has been calling you?" Meredith asked curious once again.

"No one important." He told her as he grabbed her hand and they walked to the lobby.

"Meredith, I am so sorry!" he told her as his eyes rested upon the red headed woman in front of him.

"What?" she asked as they came closer to the woman.

"Addison, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"You would know if you bothered answering any of my calls." She told him.

"Derek?" Meredith turned to him with a million questions buzzing around in her head.

"Hi, I'm Addison Montgomery-Shepard, and you must be the woman who has been screwing my husband." Addison said with an icy tone.

Meredith continued to stare at Derek with questions still unasked as fear crept up in her.

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I know it's super short, but I thought this would be a good place to end it. Now you guys get to see what happens in my story with them since she is here!! We all know the show screwed them up with this…so REVIEW!!!


	8. Chapter 8

"_**Meredith, I am so sorry!" he told her as his eyes rested upon the red headed woman in front of him.**_

"_**What?" she asked as they came closer to the woman.**_

"_**Addison, what are you doing here?" he asked.**_

"_**You would know if you bothered answering any of my calls." She told him.**_

"_**Derek?" Meredith turned to him with a million questions buzzing around in her head.**_

"_**Hi, I'm Addison Montgomery-Shepard, and you must be the woman who has been screwing my husband." Addison said with an icy tone. **_

_**Meredith continued to stare at Derek with questions still unasked as fear crept up in her.**_

Meredith dropped his hand and slowly backed away from him.

"Meredith, please don't run." He whispered to her.

"I can't be here Derek." She told him as tears sprung up in her eyes and she tried desperately to not let Addison see her crying.

"Meredith, please." Derek whispered as tears also shined in his eyes. He couldn't loose her again. He silently cursed Addison for showing up. He had seen that she was the one calling him, but he ignored it not wanting to hear from her.

"I can't." she whispered walking away from him and not taking another glance at Addison. She couldn't look at the beautiful red head that was back for her boyfriend.

She heard Derek call her name a few more times as she ran towards the door. It wasn't until she was outside of the hospital that she realized that she didn't have a car with her. She and Derek had ridden in together like so many other times lately. Thinking quickly she ran across the street to Joe's bar.

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"What are you doing here Addison?" Derek asked her with a rough, aggravated voice.

"I was called in for a case Derek, relax I'm not here to mess anything up with you and your mid-life crisis intern." She replied with a smirk.

"She's not a midlife crisis." Derek stated.

"Oh, so what are you saying? She's the reason for our divorce?" she asked.

"No, you cheating on me with my best friend is the reason for our divorce, and the fact that I fell out of love with you. She is the reason we will never be getting back together." He told her coldly then exiting the hospital without a goodbye or anything else.

He automatically pulled out his cell phone calling Meredith. It went straight to voice mail. He tried three more times then cursed at how frustrating it was that this was happening.

He kept thinking of places she would be. She could have gone to her house, or Cristina's but something pulled him towards Joe's. He hoped he could get to her before she downed too much alcohol.

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"Meredith, what are you doing here? I thought you were going on a date with McDreamy?" Cristina asked her friend as she came in the bar and plopped down next to her.

"Addison is back." Meredith replied in a melancholy voice.

"Who's Addison?" Izzie asked.

"His wife." She replied without looking up.

"Hey Meredith, tequila shot?" Joe asked her coming up to her as she sat on the bar stool.

"Definitely." She responded. He sat one down in front of her and she downed it as she winced at the feel of it burning down her throat. "Keep them coming Joe."

"He has a wife?" Izzie asked surprised.

"Yeah, he told me they were getting a divorce though and just waiting for the papers to be finalized. They're signed and everything and they have been separated for a while now, but what does it mean now that she is back?" Meredith asked, at a complete loss as to what she should do.

"Have you talked to him?" Cristina asked.

"No, I told him I couldn't deal with it and left them there. They're probably back at his trailer now having hot, makeup, dirty married sex." She replied grimly as she threw back another shot.

"Or, he could be making his way over here looking like hell." Cristina responded.

"What?" Meredith asked before she could turn around and look at him. He looked stressed. His hair no longer looked perfect anymore, his shirt had a few buttons open and he clearly looked like hell.

"Meredith, can I please talk to you?" he asked desperate as he came up to her on the bar stool as he stood to the side pleading her with his eyes.

"No." Meredith responded with a shake of her head. She couldn't talk to him, not now. She had gotten better at the talking, she really had. But only because she trusted Derek, now her insecurities were coming back.

"Please." He pleaded.

Her friends left them alone at the bar and moved over to a corner where they could secretly spy on them while sipping on their preferred alcoholic beverages.

"What do you want now Derek? To beg me to stay with you so then I can just get my heart broken in two more weeks?" Meredith shot at him. Her words felt like a slap across his face and he winced at her words.

"No, because that won't happen Meredith." Derek told her with sad eyes.

"Why is she here Derek? To get you back, for you to leave plain me to go back to the beautiful model that is here for you?" Meredith asked keeping her tears in her eyes and fighting them to stay there and not roll down her cheeks.

"She's here for a medical case, she won't be here long. Please Meredith, we're not getting back together." Derek told her.

"Sure Derek, I'm sure that's the only reason she is here." Meredith told him while grabbing another drink and downing it.

"Meredith please, don't drink anymore." He pleaded as he took in the little pyramid of drinks she had set up already. He knew that she only drank this much to cover up the pain she was feeling or a horrible day, and the only thing today that could lead her to that was the fact that his stupid ex came back into his life.

"Shut up Derek! You don't get to have any control over what I do, just leave me the hell alone!" she yelled at him.

"Meredith," Derek said softly, not wanting to leave her. He wanted to talk about this, to know that they were okay. She had been talking to him, opening up, but now she was pulling back and hiding back in her shell like a turtle.

"No Derek, leave me alone. I'll talk to you when I'm ready. You don't get to decide when everything is ok, not when you aren't the one hurting." Meredith told him with a tear escaping. She quickly brushed it away in hopes that Derek didn't see it. He caught sight of it and felt his heart tear into another million pieces because of the pain he caused.

"How are you going to get home?" Derek asked her thinking he would have more time with her if he drove her home.

"I'll find a way. Don't worry about it, or about me. I can take care of myself." She replied harshly at him. "I'm not yours to worry about."

"Mer…" Derek let out in a sigh. He would love to disagree with that statement. To tell her that she was his, he would gladly love to be able to claim her as his and never let her leave that title. But he knew now was not the time to enforce that, she would just get angrier.

"Shut up and go away Derek, don't try calling me either. I need time and so do you."

"No, I don't Meredith."

"Yeah, you do. You need time to figure out what you're going to do, either you go back to her or we continue. You need to think about it and so do I." Meredith told him.

"But, I don't need to think about anything Meredith. I know I want to be with you." He told her.

"Well, I don't trust you anymore Derek, so let me think. I also don't know if I want to be with you anymore either." She told him turning away from him and asking Joe for another drink. He watched her swallow it back and then saw Cristina coming over to them.

"I've got her." Cristina told him whilst giving him a glare.

Backing away slowly he turned around and made his way to the door with his head down in defeat and guilt running through his brain. He stopped at the door and turned one last time to look over at Meredith. She had her head thrown back and was swallowing yet another shot of tequila.

He hated that this had happened and that he had driven her to drink. That was the worst thing to do. He knew she was pissed if she turned to a tequila bottle. Luckily he hadn't seen her drink that much since he had met her, but now knowing that he caused it made him feel horrible. He wanted to run to her side and plead for her to listen and forgive him. Tell her that he didn't need to think anything over, but he knew she wouldn't let him.

She needed time to think, time to herself and he could give her that. He could let her have some time to herself; he just hoped that she wouldn't take long. He also hoped he could restore the trust she once had in him. She had told him she trusted him when he first told her about Addison, but ever since then he knew she didn't fully trust him. He lost that high of trust when he told her about the wife he no longer loved.

She had pulled back from him slightly after sharing his story and he knew it was lack of trust causing her to do that. He hated that she felt like she couldn't trust him. He hated that she couldn't love him as well. She had opened up to him about her mother, but he still felt her uneasiness towards opening up to him.

He exited Joe's bar to go out to his car and drive home to the trailer she had loved. The trailer where he had ruined everything, the trailer that was sitting on the land he hoped to build a house on in the future, but now that future wasn't as clear to him as before.

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So, obviously things couldn't be solved right away when he first told her. And of course Addison had to come back.

REVIEW PLEASE!! Your feedback means so much to me!


	9. Chapter 9

**Not many people reviewed, but I still wanted to update because I've gotten some chapters written and this chapter is long and I worked really hard on it. This is when the show really mixes with it because there are some lines that are used in here. I hope you guys and enjoy it and make sure you review!!**

After Meredith drank all the tequila she could, Cristina safely got her home and informed Izzie and George of her being asleep before exiting the house and returning to her own home.

As Meredith opened her eyes she felt the ache between her temples and shut her eyes quickly wanting to block the sun from creating more pain. She buried her head into her pillow and tried to remember all that happened the day before. She soon remembered the horrible beautiful woman that had arrived in Seattle more than likely there to take her boyfriend away from her. She remembered Derek begging her to stay and not run. She remembered Derek begging her to not push him away, and try to listen to him. But she also remembered the pain and terrible feeling in her gut thinking of him leaving her for his wife. He had a wife. Still. The divorce wasn't final, and even though he had promised her that he was getting a divorce, they were still married.

She then remembered that on top of all that crap hovering over her, she also had to go to work. Lives needed to be saved. So for the next twelve hours she had to push her crappy life to the side and focus on the patients she would be working with today. She knew that she would more than likely run into Derek, and he would want to talk, but she made a plan to ignore him as much as possible today, act like nothing is bothering her and stay professional. That could work, she thought.

She pulled herself up from the bed and headed to the bathroom that was attached to her room. She noticed as she opened the cabinet that he still had his shaving cream, razor, deodorant, and hair gel still in there. He had unofficially moved in. He had tons of crap in the cabinet along with in the shower, and his clothes were still tucked away in a drawer. Quickly she grabbed a bag and threw the things in the cabinet and shower in it. She would give them back to him today.

She wiped a tear away from her face and grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and downed two pills. She sipped on the rest of her water trying to push the pain away again. She stripped out of her clothes and stepped in the shower feeling the hot water cascade around her. The water relieved the pain in her muscles but did no good for the pain in her heart. She opened her shampoo and began to wash her hair. She needed to change her shampoo, he loved it and now it reminded her of him loving it.

She washed the rest of her body and stepped out ready to finish getting ready for work. She towel dried her body and hair off and pulled on a pair of jeans and a lavender sweater. She grabbed her bag and headed down the stairs, needing coffee more now than ever before.

"Good morning!" Izzie said cheerfully from the island she was standing near with her coffee in her hand.

"Morning Iz." Meredith mumbled.

"How are you this morning?" Izzie asked in regard to the hang over and Derek situation she knew Meredith was going through.

"I'm fine. Moving on." She told Izzie as she grabbed a travel mug and filled it with coffee. "Where's George?" she asked.

"He's already at work. He had to be in early." Izzie told Meredith as she continued to look at her friend to see if she really was fine or if she was just putting on an act.

"Alright then, if you're ready lets go." Meredith told her grabbing her keys off the table and heading towards the door with Izzie following behind her.

"Mer, are you sure you're ok?" Izzie asked again as they got in the car.

"Iz, I am fine. Ok? He has a wife, she's back. We're over, I'm returning some of his stuff. I'm going to move on. I'm not going to wallow." Meredith explained as they drove to work.

"Ok Mer, but if you want to talk, or you need to have a movie night with tons of ice cream and cookie dough, let me know." Izzie told her with a smile.

Izzie was a good friend, and that's how most girls would deal with a break up, but Meredith wasn't like that. Still she was thankful towards Izzie for being so nice and offering, "Thanks Iz, I'll keep that in mind." She told her with a small smile.

They shortly arrived at the hospital and made it inside. Meredith told Izzie to go on without her as she went to the coffee cart to get another coffee. So far, no sign of Derek. That was a good thing.

She accepted her coffee with a polite thank you to the server and made her way to the elevator. She stepped on and the small area was empty, until as the doors began to close Derek stopped it and entered himself.

She took in his appearance. It looked like he didn't get much sleep, like her and his hair was not tamed like it normally was. He had dark circles under his eyes and he just looked bad.

"Meredith," he breathed out as he looked at her and took in her appearance as well. Her eyes were a little red and he knew it was a mixture of crying as well as lack of sleep. But she still looked beautiful to him.

"Dr. Shepherd," Meredith greeted with no smile.

"Meredith, please." He began. He hated when she called him Dr. Shepherd when there was no need to be professional. She had done it a few times before jokingly and she knew how it made him feel.

"Uhm, I was getting ready today and noticed all your stuff in my bathroom. I brought your things in, just your bathroom stuff though. You can come by for your clothes later." Meredith told him coldly handing him the bag she had placed his things in.

"No, Meredith please, can we talk about this? Please, we can't be over." He pleaded with her.

"I don't have time to do this Dr. Shepherd, I have rounds." She told him as she tried to move past him and towards the door, but Derek pulled the button to stop the elevator from moving.

"Meredith, we are not done." He told her sternly.

"We are Derek, I told you I would tell you what I want, and this is what I want." She told him trying to avoid his look. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was going to ignore him today, he was supposed to accept the bag and go back to his wife.

"That's not what I want, and I know you don't want it either. Can you just try to be honest with me please? And not run." He told her.

"Shut the hell up Derek! Don't start yelling at me for running when you have been avoiding the whole wife thing! You don't have any right to use that against me! So get the hell away from me and leave me alone!" She yelled at him and turned around as tears began to fall from her eyes. She couldn't let him see her like this.

"Meredith, please. Just listen to me." He pleaded with her, turning her around and seeing the tears.

"Don't touch me!" She yelled at him backing away. "You don't get to touch me, or care about me anymore. You have a wife, and she's here. I'm surprised you guys didn't come in together. Just go find her Derek, go back to her and you know what else would be great? If you also went back to New York!" Meredith yelled at him as she reached around him and pushed the red button that started the elevator again.

Derek felt as if he had just had the wind knocked out of him. He had hurt Meredith more than he had thought. He had never seen her cry over anything, and to know that he had hurt her so badly for her to cry broke his heart. He didn't want to loose her. He didn't want to go back to Addison, he didn't love Addison. He loved Meredith. But Meredith had just officially broken up with him by returning his stuff and telling him to go back to New York.

He watched her walk off and towards the intern locker room and he exited as well and made his way to his office.

Meredith made her way to the locker room and entered quickly going over to her locker and changing quickly. She pulled her hair back in a pony tail and ran to the bathroom to splash some water on her face, making sure there was no proof of her tears. As she made her way back over to her locker she noticed the rest of the interns at their own lockers now.

"Hey guys," she said as she sat on a bench and tied her tennis shoes.

"Hey, have you seen McDreamy yet?" Cristina asked bluntly.

"Yeah, just saw him in the elevator." Meredith responded as she moved on to her other shoe.

"Oh no, you guys didn't do the McNasty did you?" Cristina asked with a groan.

"No, I gave him back his things and told him to go back to his wife." Meredith said as she tried to push the sick feeling in her stomach away and focus on tying her other shoe.

"Whoa, Mer are you ok?" Izzie asked gently coming to sit next to her.

"Eh, yeah. I guess, I just…I don't want to think about it anymore. Ok guys?" Meredith asked.

"Ok, but Mer remember, we can have a movie night." Izzie said standing up and going back to her locker.

"So you really ended it?" Cristina asked gently.

"Yeah Cristina, I did. Ok?" Meredith asked.

"Ok, sorry, I just….that's a good thing Mer." Her person told her.

"No, it's not. I didn't want to Cristina. I love him, but you know what? He has a freaking wife! And she's back! And I don't know what the hell to do anymore, so I broke up with him! And you can't possibly understand because you never let anyone in and you always mock me! So you can't understand and you can't share your opinion, you just can't!" Meredith yelled then rushed out of the locker room to find Bailey and get her assignment.

"Dr. Bailey, do you need anyone in the pit or filling out charts?" Meredith asked her.

"Are you picking what you want to do today Dr. Grey?" Bailey asked her in an annoyed tone.

"No, just asking if I was needed there."

"You don't get to pick what you want to do, so no you can not go to the pit or fill out charts just because your boyfriend has a wife and you guys are broken up or whatever you are…"

"How did you…" Meredith started to ask surprised by her boss's knowing.

"I know everything Dr. Grey, now you have been requested by Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd." She told Meredith.

"What?" Meredith said with shock filling her voice and face. "I…I can't."

"Doesn't matter, go. I don't want to hear it so just go Grey." Bailey barked at her.

Meredith took off towards the floor she knew Addison would be. She was not looking forward to this, at all.

As she rounded the corner she saw the last thing she wanted to. Derek, Addison and Burke all standing together talking.

As she got closer she heard Addison, "I was just checking to see if Preston had paged the intern…"

"You requested, right here." Meredith finished for her as she came up to the group. Addison gave a sly smile as Derek looked at Meredith with guilt and sadness etched on his face, he turned around and returned to the chart he had just dropped off as Addison began to lead her to the patient they would be working on.

-----------------------------------

It was lunch and Meredith wanted to find Cristina. She had said some mean things earlier to her person and she needed to take them back.

She went down to the basement where they hung out a lot of the time and found her friend sitting alone on a gurney.

"Hey," Meredith said as she down next to Cristina.

"Oh, so you're talking to me now?" Cristina asked.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have yelled at you, it's just I knew he had a wife. But he was getting a divorce, and now…"

"Now, the McWife is back and you don't know where you guys stand so you broke up with him." Cristina finished for her.

"Yeah." Meredith said with a sigh.

"It's ok, I get it. I may not be able to understand it as well because I've never been in that position, but I get it cause I'm your person." Cristina told her.

"Thank you." Meredith told her in a whisper.

Minutes passed as the two sat there thinking in the silence.

"I'm pregnant." Cristina told her in a whisper.

More silence passed until Meredith spoke up.

"All right, details. You're pregnant? What are you going to do?" She asked Cristina.

"Well, you know what happens to pregnant interns. I'm not switching to vagina squad or spending my life popping zits. I'm too talented, surgery's my life." Cristina told her.

"Which begs the question, who are you sleeping with?"

"Just a guy." Cristina said shortly.

"That's all I get? You can't just bring something like this up and expect me to drop it." Meredith told her.

"Well, watch me." Cristina told her as she remained seated.

"You have to tell me, my boyfriend has a wife." Meredith said, trying to use her crappy situation as a reason to be told the secret her friend was keeping.

"Uh, fine. I'll tell you. But you can't tell Barbie or Bambi or evil spawn." Cristina told her.

"Promise." Meredith told her.

"It's Burke."

"After all this time, all your warnings about me sleeping with my boss and you're doing the same exact thing." Meredith said defensively.

"Oh, it's not the same thing."

"It's the exact same!" Meredith cried out.

"No, it's not. You and McDreamy are in a relationship, in love or whatever." Cristina told her.

"And you and Burke are in?"

Switzerland. It's very neutral there and they make very nice watches." Cristina added with a joking voice.

The two began laughing and it sliced the tension easily.

"So, you don't know what you're going to do?"

"Nope."

"Want me to drop it?" Meredith asked.

"Yep." Cristina responded again curtly.

Instead of saying anything else Cristina leaned over on her friend in a hug type fashion.

"You realize this constitutes hugging?" Meredith asked.

"Shut up…I'm your person." Cristina said as Meredith laughed.

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Meredith's day was going by slowly. She had been working with the McWife the whole day, and hated it. She had drilled Meredith with questions that Meredith knew but others she didn't. She was never interested in the vagina squad. It was always the brain she enjoyed learning about, but now she hated it.

Derek had been working through his day trying to stay away from his soon-to-be ex wife. He wanted to find Meredith and talk to her about this all and fix things, but he hadn't seen her since this morning when Addison had requested her for her intern.

As he rounded the corner he saw Addison and decided to talk to her about her shady move.

"That took a lot of nerve…" Derek told her with an angry look.

"Oh, come on." Addison said in her defense.

"Requesting Meredith…"

"She came highly recommended." Addison added with a sly smile.

"Right." Derek said with a scoff.

"So, you don't recommend her?" Addison asked.

"No, I didn't say that." Derek said in defense.

"Just not for her medical skills." Addison added with a smirk.

"Oh, would you shut up." Derek told her. "You don't know anything about her." Derek supplied.

"I know she has a thing for Neurosurgeons." Addison told him.

Just when Derek was going to add something Meredith came around the corner.

"Dr. Shepherd." She said.

"Yes." They both said in unison.

"There seems to be something wrong with the babies that is showing up in the scans, I think you should come look at it." Meredith said directing her look at Addison and ignoring Derek.

"Alright, lets go." Addison told her.

"Meredith," Derek called after her softly.

"Dr. Grey." She corrected him as she walked away.

Derek hated them not being on personal levels. Hearing her call him Dr. Shepherd and having to call her Dr. Grey was not the way he wanted things. He wanted his wife to go away, he wanted his relationship with Meredith back. He wanted his things back in her bathroom, and he wanted to go home with the woman he loved.

But none of that was happening today.

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Meredith's shift was over. She was done working with Addison and could return to her bed and bury herself under the covers. But those covers still smelled like Derek. His scent was everywhere in her room along with his clothes.

She was changing back into her street clothes and was heading to the elevator. Only five more minutes then she would be in her car and could ignore the horrible situation at work. Unfortunately she would have to deal with work life for the rest of the week but hopefully after that it would get better.

She stepped on the elevator and once the door closed noticed Derek standing in the corner.

"Meredith, will you please let me talk to you?" Derek asked her with a pleading voice.

"Why do you keep trying so hard? I broke up with you. Shouldn't you be done fighting for me? You have your wife here." She told him in a soft voice.

"I don't want her. I want you." He told her moving closer. "I want us. And I'm not going to stop fighting until I get you back, I love you." He told her with admiration in his eyes.

"Derek, don't. I…you can't say that." She told him looking away.

"I feel that way." He told her.

"No, you don't. Look I can't do this yet…now. But you can come over and get your clothes." Meredith told her.

"I don't want to get my clothes, where they are is where they belong, with you, in what use to be our room."

"But it wasn't Derek, it was mine." She told him.

"Meredith, I practically lived there this past month. And if you didn't want me there, you wouldn't have let me bring my stuff." He told her.

"Well Derek, we're not together anymore. And you need your stuff. So come over and get your clothes, or if you want I can bring them in a bag tomorrow. I don't think I left anything at your trailer, but if I did you can just bring it to me. I'm sure Addison has her own stuff to fill your trailer and the last thing you need is my stuff in the way." Meredith told him.

"Meredith, Addison isn't living with me. She is staying in a hotel. We are getting a divorce, how many times do I have to tell you that?" he asked her.

"You wouldn't have to if you were already divorced and she didn't come back for you." Meredith told him exiting the elevator as it landed on the lobby floor.

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**There you guys go! It was long and a little sad I guess!!**

**Review!!!!!!!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you to those who reviewed!! You are amazing!! I love it! I loved hearing what you guys thought! Here is an update; I'm going on vacation for a week and a half so you won't get another update until after the fourth of July. Hopefully this update will last you till then. Hope you enjoy!**

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The past two days had been hard, but easier than the first. She didn't have to work with Addison anymore, she had seen Derek but he hadn't bothered her as much as before. And he had collected his clothes from her room.

She still missed him, and loved him. But it would be too hard to take him back. She couldn't let her guard down and let him in yet either. She knew he wanted to talk still, and she wanted that too. Get closure and hopefully try to move on.

She was filling out charts when someone came up next to her.

"The guys pretty much a goner right?" he asked her reading over her chart.

"Sensitivity, I like that in a stranger. Are you new here?" she asked him.

"Visiting. Confounded by all the rain and it's only my first day in town." He told her with a smile.

"You get used to it." she told him with a smile as she finished signing the chart.

"Makes me wanna stay in bed all day." He told her with a suggestive smirk.

"We just met and already you're talking about bed. Not very subtle." She said with a giggle.

"Subtle has never been my strong suit. So, do you ever go out with co-workers?" he asked.

"I, um, make it a rule not to." She said thinking of Derek.

"Then I am so glad that I don't work here." He told her.

"Are you hitting on me? In a hospital?" she asked with a smile.

"Would that be wrong?" he asked.

"Meredith." She said introducing herself.

The guy was about to introduce himself when Derek suddenly punched him causing the stranger to land on the floor in front of her.

"What the hell was that?" she asked still surprised.

"It's Mark." Derek answered her as he turned to look at her.

"Oh, why would you punch him Derek?" she asked confused.

"Because, he slept with my wife." He answered her like she was dumb.

"So, this is just to get back at him for sleeping with your wife?" she asked him.

"Yes." He told her as he shook his hand and flexed it to see if it was broken.

"See, you do still care about her." Meredith told him before she went to Mark and helped him up.

She led him off to an exam room as Derek stood there mad at himself for not telling her the truth. He had punched Mark because seeing him flirting with Meredith pissed him off more than him sleeping with his wife. It was too late to tell her that though, she had already taken Mark to an exam room to fix his cut.

"So, you're the intern who has been sleeping with Derek. You're famous, I've heard about you all the way in New York." He told her as she cleaned his cut.

"Well, you're pretty famous too. I've heard about you all the way here. You're the guy who slept with his best friends' wife." She said as she dabbed his cut.

"We're dirty mistress's." he told her.

"I guess we are." She said with no smile. She didn't want to be a dirty mistress.

"You know, it's funny. Derek walked in on me naked and actually in bed with his wife and he just turned around and left. But he sees me so much as talking to you, and I'm on the ground. Don't you find that interesting?" he asked.

"No, because I talked to him and he said he did it because you slept with his wife. He's just paying you back now." Meredith told him.

"That's not true. I know Derek, I grew up with him. He punched me because I was flirting with you. He doesn't love or care about Addie." He told her.

"Whatever, we're over. It doesn't matter." She told him.

"Does he want you guys to be over? He signed the papers a long time ago." He informed her.

"Doesn't matter, she's here, he's here. They could get back together."

"But they won't. He doesn't love her, he loves you." He told her as she finished cleaning the cut.

"You've been here less then ten minutes and you already think he loves me?" she asked.

"Like I said, I know Derek. We were practically brothers. He loves you; he wouldn't have punched me if he didn't." Mark told her.

"What are you doing?" he asked her as she tried to start stitching him up.

"Stitching you up." She told him.

"Hold the mirror." He instructed her as he began to do it himself.

Mark was stitching himself up so Meredith left him alone and joined her friends outside.

"McSexy wanted to stitch himself up." She informed them.

"McSexy?" Cristina asked.

"Not good?" she asked referring to the nick name.

"No, how bout…McSteamy?" Cristina asked turning back around to ogle at him.

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Meredith was walking through the halls on her way to the cafeteria when Derek almost collided into her as he turned the corner.

"Oh, sorry." He told her, and then realized who he almost ran into.

"It's fine." She said making a move to try to go around him.

"Meredith, wait. Can we talk? In here?" he asked as he pointed to the on-call room next to them.

"Oh, right. Yeah, let's talk where we used to have sex all the time." Meredith said with an eye roll.

"Meredith, please. Just talking, I swear." He told her.

"Fine." She said as she walked into the room and he shut the door behind her.

She sat on the lower bunk of the bed on the right and he did the same but with the bed across from it.

"Look, I'm sorry Addison is here. I'm sorry I put you in this position and I'm sorry you've had to deal with her this week. But she is only here because the Chief called her in for a case. She's leaving soon though. I didn't ask her to come. Our divorce is final; we got the final papers in the mail yesterday. I didn't punch Mark because of him sleeping with Addison; I should actually be thanking him for that." Derek told her as he took a breath of air that was needed to continue.

"I love you. I miss you and I want you back. I saw him flirting with you and I just saw you slipping even further away from me and I thought if he got to you, I would have no hopes at a future with you. He would take you away from me. I couldn't stand the thought of you in bed with him. It was like I was re-living the scene in my head where I opened the door and saw him in bed with Addison, but instead of Addison, it was you and it made my blood boil. I've never felt that much jealousy before, never." He said, pausing.

"So you punched him." She said with understanding.

"So I punched him," he said looking up at her and seeing understanding in her eyes.

"Now what Derek? Where do we go from here?" she asked.

"That's up to you Meredith. I can continue to beg and plead for another chance, take you out on dates, spoil you and love you for the rest of our lives, or you could shut the door and lock it, never letting me back in. I'm really hoping you won't do the last one, because I am hopelessly in love with you. I love you more than I have ever loved Addison."

"Derek…"She said with warning as if she didn't believe him.

"It's true Mer; I'm not going to say I didn't love her, because that would be stupid and a lie. But I have never felt this way about anyone, especially Addison. We just weren't right together. With you I feel like I'm home. Like I was drowning and since I've found you I've come up for air. You've saved me." He told her with love shining in his eyes.

"Are you sure Derek? Because I don't think I can open up and let you in again just to be hurt again because you made a mistake leaving her. Or worse you find someone better…"

"Never, there is no one else for me Meredith, I love you. Only you. Forever." He told her as he moved to her bed and sat next to her, afraid to touch her.

"Don't say forever Derek. You don't know what will happen." She told him looking away.

"Meredith, I will love you forever. Forever and always, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to hurt you or let you run either. I mean, unless you don't want to be with me anymore, then that's…"

"I…I want to be with you, I do. I'm just terrified of something happening again. Of you realizing I'm just an ordinary person or that I'm unable to love. I just, I can't say it yet. I can't, you…this just hurt too much. I can forgive you, but I can't say it back yet. But I do want to be with you." She told him.

"Meredith, I will never intentionally hurt you. Never. I don't have anymore things from my past that could come up. I told you about Addison, and you forgave me, I know it hurt you to hear about that, but I didn't lie to you about it. I didn't know Addison was coming, if so I would have told you. She had tried calling me and I had ignored her, not wanting to talk to her. I should have so then I could have told her not to come, or to have warned you. I'm sorry; I wish I could take it all back. But I will never hurt you again. And you are not ordinary Meredith Grey, you are anything but. You are such an incredible person and it makes me love you more. You are extraordinary. And I understand if you can't say it back, I do. I just hope I can gain back your trust and love, and I hope you will let me." He told her somewhat asking her the last part.

"Yeah, ok…let's try this one more time. But Derek, if you hurt me or do something else….it will be over. I can't keep doing this, it…it takes too much." She told him.

"I promise that will never happen. I won't let anything happen or screw this up. I can't lose you again, it hurts me too much to see you go through that and to go through it as well." He told her; grateful she was willing to forgive him.

"Also, Derek, is it ok if we take things slow? I mean, I don't think I can have you back at my place for a while. I need to go slow this time." She told him.

"Yeah, that's ok Meredith. I understand." He wanted nothing more than to fall asleep with her in his arms again, but he knew he needed to go at her pace. He was just thankful she was forgiving him.

"Ok, good." She told him with a smile. "I missed you." She whispered.

"Oh, Meredith, I missed you too." He told her smiling at her. He was so tempted to reach out and pull her to him and hug and kiss her, but he was afraid she would get mad.

He was surprised when she wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her head on his chest.

"Will you just…hold me for a little bit?" she asked shyly.

"Of course." He told her as he reclined back against the bed and pulled her closer to him as he wrapped his arms around her, breathing in her scent. "Your hair smells different." He stated.

"I changed shampoos." She told him.

"Oh, uh…" he didn't know how to tell her he didn't like it.

"I'll change it back." She said with a smile as she pecked his lips.

"I would love that," he told her.

He still smelled like Derek to her. His after shave was still the same.

"I missed this," she told him in a whisper as she laid there wrapped up in his warm embrace, feeling safe once again.

"Me too, so much." He told her as he placed a small kiss on her forehead.

She lifted her head off his chest and looked into his eyes. He was staring right back at her with his eyes showing all the love he had for her. She leaned in and placed her lips against his. He was hesitant and didn't want to push her too far, but once she placed her arms around his neck and he felt her tongue against his lips he willingly kissed her back with as much passion as he could. He had his Meredith back, and he wasn't going to screw this up. They were working at her pace, and he was ok with that. He wouldn't loose her again; she was too precious to him.

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**There you go! They are back together!! Did it work out well for you guys? I hope it did!! **

**Little question, Do you guys want Mark to stick around? **

**And do you want Addison to stick around?**

**I have some of it written where Addison goes to California, and Mark sticks around. But if you guys are thinking about something else, let me know!**



**Review! REVIEW! ****REVIEW!!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to those who reviewed!! I love hearing from you! Sorry it has taken me a while to update, I was on vacation in Kentucky. I am updating now and will try to write some more this week and update at least one more time but I am leaving again in a week for another long vacation! Sorry! Here is another chapter. Little fluffy…enjoy!**

It was the following day and because of Meredith's and Derek's work schedules they weren't able to go out after work. Derek was excited to get to work so then he could see her once again. He had slept a little better the night prior since he no longer had an ache in his chest from the pain of being away from Meredith, but he still missed her and hadn't slept as well as he used to with her in his arms. He was hoping that maybe sometime today they could sneak off to an on call room or his office to have a nap. As long as she was with him, everything would be good.

He still had things to work out at work though, two things actually. Addison and Mark. He decided to get the Addison thing over with first. He walked into the hospital and saw Meredith on the elevator; he hurried up and entered the elevator before the doors could close. They were alone.

"Good morning," he told her with a bright smile.

"Good morning." She responded with a smile of her own, she was happy again.

"How are you this morning?" he asked her as he took in her appearance. She looked like she had gotten some sleep the night before as well, and she still looked beautiful.

"I'm great, how are you?" she asked.

"Wonderful." He told her as he stood in front of her. "Can I give you a kiss or is that too much for us going slow?" he asked her.

"Oh, I think you can kiss me." She told him.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, lowering his head down towards hers he kissed her passionately like he had the day before in the on call room. Before it could get anymore heated the elevator made the dinging noise informing the passengers of their arrival to the floor they needed. They pulled apart and smiled at each other, both exiting the elevator.

"I'll see you later?" she asked him.

"Yeah, how bout we have lunch in my office?" he asked her hopeful.

"Sounds good." She told him before flashing him her smile then heading off to the locker room.

"What's got you all happy?" Cristina asked her as she entered the locker room.

"I'm back with Derek." She told her with a smile.

"What?" Cristina asked surprised.

"Yeah, we talked about everything and worked all the stuff out. We're going slow, but we are back together, for good." Meredith added with a smile.

"Are you sure about this?" Cristina asked her.

"I'm positive Cristina; don't try to talk me out of it."

"Fine."

"Have you told Burke yet, about you know?" Meredith asked.

"No, why…why would I do that?" she asked Meredith.

"Because he is the father." Meredith told her like she was dumb.

"No, I don't even know what I'm going to do yet, so I'm not telling him." She told her.

"Fine." Meredith said before shutting her locker and waiting for Bailey to come in.

"Grey you're in the pit, Karev you're with Sloan, Stevens you're with Montgomery, O'Malley you are with Shepherd, and Yang you are with Burke." Bailey read off and ordered her interns.

"Great…" Cristina mumbled.

"Perfect time to tell him." Meredith said softly.

"No, just drop it." Cristina told her.

"Fine, of course the day I'm willing and wanting to be working on a case I get put in the pit. Just perfect." Meredith mumbled as she separated from Cristina and went her own way.

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Derek was in his office when he saw Addison walk by.

"Addison!" he called out.

"Yes, Derek." She said.

"Can we talk?" he asked her.

"What's this about?" she asked as she entered his office and sat on the couch across from him.

"I was wondering when you were leaving?" he asked her, cutting to the chase.

"Oh, uh, well Richard offered me a position here, but remember Naomi? She offered me a place at her practice. So I'm going to move to California to work for her. So this weekend I will be gone and out of your way." Addison told her ex-husband.

"Oh, well then. That works out well, are you taking Mark with you?" he asked.

"Ha, ha. No, Mark got a job here. He signed a contract." Addison told him.

"What?" he asked shocked.

"Yeah, Richard offered him a lot of money." Addison informed Derek.

"That's great, just great." Derek mumbled.

"Well, Derek is that all you wanted?" she asked.

"Yeah, thanks." He told her.

"Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's going on with you and Meredith?" she asked.

"Why do you care?" he asked her not in a harsh tone but more in a curious tone.

"Because we used to be friends Derek, we didn't work out as a married couple, but we were always friends. That doesn't have to change." She told him.

"We're working though things. We're together and I am going to do everything in my power for them to stay that way. We're going slow." Derek told her.

"You love her." Addison told him, she could see it written on his face.

"So much." He told her.

"More than you ever loved me." Addison pointed out.

"I'm sorry Addie." He apologized.

"Don't, I knew our marriage was failing. We weren't right for each other. Just make sure you don't hurt her again Derek." Addison advised him as she stood up to leave.

"Thanks Addie, if I don't see you before you leave, have fun in California and say hello to everyone there." Derek told her as she exited his office.

"I'll make sure to do that." Addie told him before leaving and continued walking down the hall.

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Derek had talked to Addie and now he wanted to talk to Mark, so he could get everything out of his way before having lunch with Meredith.

"Mark!" Derek called after him as he saw his used-to-be best friend getting on the elevator.

"Derek, I haven't talked to Meredith since you punched me. I swear!" Mark said defensively holding up his hands with his palms facing Derek.

"No, I want to talk to you." Derek told him as he stepped onto the elevator taking the place next to Mark.

"Ok, what about?" Mark asked

"Why are you staying here?" he asked.

"I got a job here." Mark told him.

"But why did you accept? You have a practice back at home." Derek told him.

"Because, I like it out here." Mark told him.

"That's shit, and you know it." Derek told him.

"Fine, Richard offered me a lot of money. I first came back to try and get Addie back, but she told me her plans and there is no chance for us. Now, I'm staying to fix things with my best friend." Mark informed him.

"Oh, well maybe you should have thought of that before having sex with my wife." Derek responded.

"Derek, come on. Let that one go. You know I did you a favor. If it weren't for me you wouldn't have come out here and met Meredith. And with out her you would be lost. I helped you find the love of your life."

"Yeah, you could have also ruined it by flirting with her." Derek told him, still angry at Mark.

"But I didn't. If anything I helped again by having Meredith realize you still cared about her." Mark told him.

"Whatever Mark, if you're staying then don't screw anything up with me and Meredith. Don't flirt with her, don't hit on her, and definitely don't sleep with her." Derek told him giving him an evil glare.

"I got it dude, she's off limits." Mark told him as the elevator landed.

Derek got off not saying anything to Mark, he needed to find Meredith.

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Meredith was working in the pit and every five minutes she glanced at her watch, counting down the minutes till lunch.

She finally saw Izzie walk through the doors of the pit to take over for Meredith and she couldn't be happier.

"Hey Mer, I have been sent down here to take over for you so you can enjoy your lunch." Izzie told Meredith.

"Thank you Iz, I'll come back when I'm done so you can go back to your case." Meredith told her.

"Don't worry about it; take your time with McDreamy." Izzie told her with a smile.

Meredith walked out of the pit and went to the nurse's station to have them page Derek, but he came up behind her.

"Hey, ready to go to lunch?" He asked her as he placed a hand around her waist.

"I am so ready." Meredith told him with an exasperated sigh.

They went to the lunch room and picked out what they wanted for lunch and made their way to his office. Derek sat down at his desk as Meredith sat on the couch digging into her fries.

"So, the chief knows about us?" Meredith asked him.

"Uh, he does. I'm sorry. I know you didn't want him to know, but with Addison coming and everything going on I told him when she first came, and yelled at him." Derek said keeping his head down. He was afraid to look at her, fear of the anger he would see.

"It's ok Derek. We were going to tell him eventually, it's fine." She said.

"Really?" he asked snapping his head up and seeing a smile on her face.

"Really, although he probably still thinks we are broken up, so we should let him know that we're back together…because we are…back together I mean…right?" Meredith asked in her ramble.

"Right, we should. Whenever you have time." Derek told her.

"Either after lunch or before we leave today." Meredith told him with a smile on her face. She wasn't running, it was new for her, but she wasn't running.

"What time do you get off?" he asked her.

"Seven, you?" she asked.

"Same. Want to go out to dinner?" he asked.

"Is this the date part?" she asked him with a giggle.

"Yeah, I did the begging, and pleading, now is the dating and along with it comes the spoiling and loving." Derek told her with a bright McDreamy smile.

"I would love to go on a date with you Derek." She told him with a smile.

"Come here." He told her moving his salad to the table and motioning for her to sit on his lap.

"What?" she asked as she moved closer to him.

"I want to hold you, I've missed you all day." He told her as she sat on his lap and he pulled her closer to him.

"I missed you too; I was in the pit all day." Meredith told him.

"I'm sorry, want me to get you in on a case?" he asked her.

"No, it's ok. You have George. He's good." She told him.

"He is, but I could use you too." He told her.

"No, Bailey would find out. I'm fine where I am. We each normally have to do a day in the pit, today is just my day." Meredith told him burying her head in his chest.

He buried his nose into her hair and smelt the familiar scent of Lavender.

"You changed your shampoo back," he stated.

"I did," she said with a smile.

"I'm glad, you smell like my Meredith now." He told her, holding her tighter.

"Your Meredith?" she asked him with an eye brow lift.

"Mine, no one else's." He told her with a smile.

"You're being a caveman; anyway, no one else wants me." Meredith told him.

"Any guy would want you, but no other guy gets you. Just me." Derek told her.

"Just you." She added, making his heart melt.

"I love you." He told her, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"I can't…soon." She told him with a nod.

"It's ok. I'm happy just holding you and saying it, but hopefully…really soon." Derek told her with another kiss to her forehead.

"I talked to Mark and Addison." Derek told her with a sigh, they were communicating, and he needed to talk to her about this.

"About what?" Meredith asked curious.

"With Addison, when she was leaving. She told me she is leaving this weekend and taking a job with some old friends in California, so she will be out of our lives. She also told me not to hurt you again and that she knew I love you more than I ever loved her."

"Oh, well that was kinda nice." Meredith said, unsure of what else to say. "And with Mark?"

"Asked him why he was still around, why he came. He said he came for Addison, but now he got a job here and he wants his best friend back. He said I shouldn't be mad at him anymore because after all he did, I got you in the end of it." Derek told her.

"What do you think about it?" she asked while drawing odd shapes on his chest through his scrubs.

"I'm not really mad at him for it anymore, because like he said I have you now, but I just…I can't trust him…with you…" Derek said.

"That will never happen Derek, I would never…never…I couldn't do that to you." She said picking her head up to look at him in the eye.

"I know…it's him I don't trust."

"I think you should try, he's the only best friend you have here." She told him.

"But I have you," He told her.

"And you need someone to vent to and complain about me too." She told him.

"I need my own Cristina?" he asked.

"You need your own Cristina." Meredith told him with a giggle.

"I love your giggle." He told her with a kiss.

"That's a good thing." She told him. "I think you should think about it a little more, give him a second chance." She advised him.

"I'll think about it." he told her.

They were getting better, working on things. Soon everything would be great, and they would continue to communicate.

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Thank you to those who told me who you wanted to leave and who you wanted to stay. I honestly thought about having Addison stay but for now she'll go live her life in California. Mark is staying though!

Hope you liked it. Derek talked to both Mark and Addison, figuring out some things and with Meredith helping him! They are also talking more and getting better! This was just a little fluff chapter to get to the next one…

There is someone coming in with the next one!

Review please!


	12. Chapter 12

**Ok, so I know it's been forever since I last updated and I am so extremely sorry for not updating. But the only thing I can say is that my summer has been very busy and I just haven't felt motivated to write I guess. But I am going to try to get a lot of chapters written tonight and update them. So here is the first one, recap is below cause I have been gone so long. Thank you for those who are sticking with me.**

**-----------------------------**

**RECAP:**

**Meredith and Derek are starting again, slow this time. The divorce is final and Addison is leaving for L.A. Mark is here and he is sticking around to try and gain Derek's friendship back. And in this chapter a guest shows up…**

**I think that is it. Enjoy this chapter!**

Meredith woke up with the sun shining through her blinds and buried her head in her pillow to shield her eyes from the brightness the morning sun was producing. Along with the shining sun her alarm clock began screaming producing an annoying sound no one wanted to hear first thing in the morning. She reached over and shut it off.

She had worked late the previous night and didn't get to sleep until after midnight, and now six hours later she was up again and getting ready to head back to the hospital. She took a quick shower and added little makeup to her face and headed out of her room and into the kitchen to find some coffee.

Things were going great with Derek. They were opening up more and talking about things going on in both of their lives. She was growing as a person, and that was something huge for her. She no longer felt threatened by Addison, that may have to do with her leaving for L.A., but she no longer thought Derek still had feelings for Addison.

Years ago, even weeks ago, Meredith would've never thought she'd be the type of person to be in a serious relationship. She was never the kind to open up and share her feelings, which was because she never had anyone there who cared enough about her feelings. But now with Derek she felt like she could open up and share things with him and not be embarrassed. She still held back a little but not as much as she used to and that was a big step for her.

Meredith's mother always said that she should be independent and never depend on someone to always be there for her. Meredith never needed to be told that though because growing up her mother was never there. Meredith lived by being independent for a long time, up until Derek. She was slowly trusting him more and showing her heart to him more each day. She was growing as a person, and she was happy about it.

"Good morning!" Izzie cheered to her as Meredith entered the kitchen and walked to the coffee maker.

"Good morning Iz," Meredith replied back as she sipped her coffee.

"What time did you get in last night?" Izzie asked her as she scanned a fashion magazine lying out in front of her on the island.

"Uh, I think around twelve thirty, why?" Meredith asked.

"Were you with McDreamy?" Izzie asked her with a smirk.

"No, I had a long night shift." Meredith told her. She no longer worried about her roommates picking on her for her relationship with Derek. She knew they were just joking.

"Ah, the hospital is a bitch." Izzie said as she flipped a page to her magazine.

"Yeah, well I have to be in by seven so I'm leaving, I'll see you there?" she asked as she poured coffee in a travel cup and placed the lid on securely.

"Yeah, I'll be in soon. My shift starts at seven thirty." Izzie responded back.

"Alright, see you then." Meredith said as she exited the kitchen.

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Meredith made her way into the hospital and entered the elevator when the door stopped and the man of her thoughts entered the elevator as well.

"Good morning," he said with a smile as he placed a kiss on her lips and took a place next to her.

They still hadn't stayed the night at the others place yet, but Meredith had a feeling that wouldn't last much longer. She missed sleeping next to him.

"Good morning," she responded with a happy smile.

"I missed you lying next to me this morning," he said in a whisper as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Yeah? Well I slept perfectly in my bed, in your shirt." She lied; she hadn't slept perfectly since before Addison came.

"For some reason, I don't believe that." He knew her too well.

"You should, because it's true. You know if you're having sleeping problems you should go on a sleeping pill." She told him jokingly.

"I know an easier way to solve my problem." He told her as he turned her around and kissed her soundly on the lips.

"Yeah? What's that?" she asked after pulling away from the kiss.

"You being beside me in my bed, preferably in my arms." He told her with a smile.

"Naked or clothed?" she asked with a smirk.

"Which ever you're more comfortable with." He responded, he was taking it slow for her and wouldn't pressure her yet. She wanted to go slow.

"I'll think about it," she said just as the elevator announced their arrival.

"Keep me updated," he told her kissing her one more time and releasing her to go the other way.

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Meredith and the rest of the interns were waiting for Bailey when she walked by them in a rush and headed towards the ER shouting for them to follow her.

"What's going on?" Cristina asked Meredith.

"I have no idea," Meredith responded as she followed in a rush before halting to a stop abruptly.

"Stupid people! What do you think you are doing! Stop touching me! I work here! I work here!" the new patient shouted to Meredith's colleagues.

As the patient continued to scream at Bailey and the rest of the interns, Bailey requested the information of the patient.

Meredith heard Cristina naming off the problems of the patient but couldn't tear her eyes away from the woman in front of her.

"Name of the patient?" Bailey asked.

When she was met with silence, she asked again.

"Yang! What is the name of the patient?" she shouted to Cristina.

"Ellis…Ellis Grey," she said aloud as everyone looked up at Meredith.

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Meredith ran to the intern locker room before anyone else could come after her. Her mother was in the hospital…as a patient. She had no idea how to deal with this. She was used to keeping her mom a secret, keeping her locked in a little part of her, but now the whole hospital was going to know. They would all know she had lied to them about the traveling, and realize her mother; the great Ellis Grey, had Alzheimers.

She heard the locker room door open but didn't come out from behind the locker she was hiding behind.

"Meredith…"

"Mer…"

She heard each of them as they tried to reach out to her, but someone was stopping them from entering and she was thankful.

"Meredith," that voice was a new one, it was Derek.

"You all need to leave her alone, just get away."

"But…"

"No, no buts or excuses! You all go away! Cristina, you are working with Burke."

"Burke? Why, how bout I go work with Sloan, or…" Cristina said, not wanting to work with the father of her child, which he was still unaware of.

"Since when do you get to pick your assignments? Now, go!" Bailey shouted as Cristina silently left.

"Alex, you are working with Sloan," Bailey said and he turned and left with no argument.

"Izzie, you can work with Dr. Shepard here,"

"No, she can't. I'll take Meredith." Derek interrupted.

"No favorites, remember Dr. Shepard?" Bailey said clearly annoyed.

"Yes, I remember, but I am making a request."

"Fine, Izzie go to the pit, they need help down there." Bailey told her.

Izzie gave one more concerned look towards the locker room then turned and left.

"O'Malley you are with Dr. Grey today." Bailey told him.

"Oh, thank you, she needs a friend right now." George said getting ready to enter the locker room when Bailey stopped him.

"Not this Dr. Grey, the other one."

"Oh, the mother." George said with a scared tone as he turned and left.

"And what do you want Dr. Shepard?" Bailey asked him, folding her arms across her chest.

"I'm going to talk to Meredith." He told her.

"Look, I don't know where you two stand, and frankly I don't care. But you do anymore harm to her today and I will make sure you pay severely for it." she said in her authoritive tone and left quietly down the hall mumbling to herself about idiotic brainless men.

"Meredith…Mer…" he said quietly as he entered the locker room and shut the door behind before locking it to keep any on lookers away.

She came out from behind the locker and opened her own locker. She began rummaging through it to keep her hands busy and to make it look like she was busy.

"Mer, are you okay? I just heard." He told her softly while coming up behind her and touching her lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm fine, I knew about it. She was the one who wanted it a secret, and now it's out. I'm fine." She said, concentrating on her locker.

"You aren't fine. You say you are, but you aren't. Talk to me Mer, we're starting new remember? This is a time when you should be able to let me in." he told her lovingly and turning her around to face him.

She quickly wiped away a tear that fell from her eye refused to make eye contact with him.

"I'm fine Derek, lets just get to work, ok? I need to be distracted." She told him.

"Not until you talk to me, Meredith come on." He told her in a quiet tone.

She had opened up to him so much lately and he loved it, he felt like he was getting to know the real Meredith and he wanted more, but he didn't want to push her. Now was a good time to learn more about Ellis Grey, the mother, and help Meredith through a hard time, but only if she would let him in.

"I'll talk to you, ok? I really will, just not here and not now. She just got admitted and I just want to be distracted because the whole hospital is out there gossiping about me and my mother and I really don't need to deal with that. So I will talk to you just not now and not at the hospital!" Meredith told him with harshness as more tears came.

"Tonight at the trailer? We could get away from everyone and everything there, just relax." He told her gently.

"Yeah, that sounds good." She told him as she brushed more tears from her cheek.

Instead of pushing it more, Derek pulled her small body towards him and wrapped his arms around her, wanting desperately to protect her from everything this day would bring her. He placed small kisses on top of her head to soothe her and when she looked back up at him he was taken away by the vulnerability in her eyes and he kissed her gently on her lips, if only to reassure her that he was there. When she was ready, he would be there.

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**There you guys' go! Another update after so long!! Hope you enjoyed it! Ellis is in, and so are all the problems she brings with her and of course the past! We'll see if Meredith blocks Derek out or really talks to him…**

**Review, comment let me know how you feel! **

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	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks to those who reviewed!! This episode was just on Lifetime which if you guys didn't know Grey's is now on everyday on Lifetime from 5-7 at least where I am. I am loving that!!! It feeds my addiction daily. Well, here's a new chapter. I started school today, so I thought I'd update!**

Her day had been crazy. She tried constantly to avoid looking at anyone as they all gossiped about her. She knew they were because as soon as she came near, the whispers began and they all started to look her way. It was worse than high school. She had become part of the gossip when she started dating Derek, and now it was worse.

Her mother was still in the hospital since she had only been admitted four hours ago, and Meredith still hadn't seen her. She was afraid to, she knew her mother would yell at her and she didn't want to deal with that. But, she knew she had to so that's where she was headed at the moment, to see her mother.

As she rounded the corner and looked in she saw her mother slapping away George's hand. She looked annoyed and she was writing on something Meredith was unsure about. She looked up at George and got his attention, motioning for him to come to her.

"Meredith, how are you doing?" he asked her gently.

"I'm fine, how is she?" Meredith asked.

"Uh, she's…she's fine." He told her, unsure of how to politely explain how Ellis really was.

"Ok, well I thought I should at least come and see how she was," Meredith said, unsure of what else to say.

"Ok, hey Mer…who's Thatch?" George asked.

"Thatch…Thatcher was my dad…is my dad…was my dad…" Meredith rambled, unsure of what to call him.

"Oh, I see." George said.

"Why, has she been talking about him?" Meredith asked.

George didn't want to tell his friend that her mother had been calling himself Thatcher, the last thing he needed was for the girl he had a little crush on to think of him as her father.

"Oh, uh, yeah…just brought him up a couple times. No big deal just thought I'd ask."

"Alright, well I'm going to go." She told him before turning back around the corner.

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Meredith took her mothers chart and was headed up to the Chief's office, she thought he should know.

She knocked lightly on the door and entered as she heard him say she could.

"Meredith, hello!" He said pleasantly, he always liked Meredith.

"Hi Chief," she told him walking closer to him, "Uh, sir…it's my mother." She told him as she handed him the file.

"Oh, Meredith…I'm so sorry to hear about this." He told her as he glanced over the file. "Do you need any time off, go home, relax?" he asked her looking up at her.

"No…no, I have a case to distract me. I just thought I'd let you know. I know you guys were friends before, so…I just thought I'd let you know." She told him as she slowly backed out of his office.

"Thank you Meredith, let me know if you need anything." He told her as she stood at the door.

"Thank you," Meredith said before exiting the small room. Once she got out she leaned up against the wall outside of it and took a deep breath, she just wanted this day over with.

Derek was trying his best to keep her distracted and away from the gossip. He hated seeing her in pain, and that's why he was involving her in this surgery. Most interns wouldn't know how to do the procedure he was performing, but Meredith wasn't like all the others. She was special.

They finished the surgery and were scrubbing out together.

"You did great in there Meredith," he told her as he ran the soap over his hands.

"Thank you, thank you so much Derek for letting me in on this case. It's helped me…you know…through the day." She told him as she focused extra attention on drying her hands off.

"Your welcome, are you ready to get out of here?" he asked her.

"Oh, definitely." She told him throwing away the paper towels.

"Ok, let me go talk to the family, change and then I can meet you in the lobby." He told her.

"Sounds good, do you think I should go see her tonight?" she asked cautiously.

"I think if you're ready, yes. If you need to talk about it and think some more then I think tomorrow would be a good day as well." He told her surprised by her asking him.

"I think I'll wait till tomorrow, let it sink in a little more. And I would really like to talk to you about it." she told him not looking at him still.

"I would love that, and we can go do that very shortly here. We'll be secluded and in the woods, perfect place to talk." He told her with a slight smile as he cupped her face and looked into her eyes before placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"Alright, I'll meet you in the lobby. I want to also go by Cristina's room to see how she's doing." She told him looking into his ocean blue eyes.

"What happened?" He asked her with confusion in his eyes.

"She collapsed during a surgery with Burke. She was pregnant and she was bleeding, so they had to operate and now she's in a room." She told him. She trusted him, that's why she was able to tell him about Cristina.

"Is she dating someone?" He asked surprised to hear she had been pregnant.

"Not dating…or in a relationship…she was just sleeping with…uhm…Burke." Meredith told him, unsure how he would take it.

"Burke!?" He asked her with surprise.

"Uh…yeah, but look could you not tell anyone? They haven't told anyone and he broke up with her before, he didn't even know about the baby. I still don't think he does." She told him.

"Uh, yeah of coarse. I won't tell anyone. I'll meet you in the lobby then." He told her placing another soft kiss on her lips.

"Yeah." She told him as they exited the scrub room and went separate ways.

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She met Derek in the lobby and they made their way to the parking lot.

"How's Cristina?" he asked her with concern.

"Uh, good. They operated and everything is fine now. She won't be able to have any kids, but she never really wanted any. She's more of a career lady." Meredith told him, smiling at the thought of her friend.

"Still, that's got to be tough." He told her.

"Yeah, so should we both drive?" she asked him.

"Why would we both drive?" he asked her.

"Well, because I don't want to leave my car here. What time are you going in tomorrow?" she asked.

"Uh, I'm not…neither are you." He told her.

"What?" she asked confused.

"I talked to the chief, we both have it off." He told her cautiously, he was unsure of how she was going to take it.

"I…why…I can't believe you…why would you do that? Did I ask you to do that? Why…" she trailed off, clearly she was mad.

"Meredith, you need to be able to think about everything and talk. You need a day to relax, sleep, and figure everything out. You need a day off, and I want to help you. I just thought I'd get a day off for us." He told her. "So we can leave your car here and take mine to the trailer." He told her opening her door for her.

She entered the car silently and didn't look at him as he entered on his own side. The rest of the drive was silent and she didn't speak to him at all.

"Mer…please don't be mad at me." He said as he turned off the ferry.

"I'm…I'm not mad," she told him quietly.

"You're not?" he asked surprised.

"No, I'm…I know you care, and worry about me. And we're starting new…and I have a lot of problems to deal with…but what you did, at first I thought you shouldn't have done that…but now, now I know it's a good thing. I do need time to decide what I'm going to do, and if there is any change with my mom while I'm gone, they'll page me. I just…I guess I'm just busy thinking…thank you though, for doing this." She told him resting her hand on top of his.

He took her hand and brought it up to his lips and planted a few kisses there before lowering it and resting it on the console between them. "Your welcome." He told her with a slight smile, Meredith was opening up to him, and he loved it.

Later that night after arriving at the trailer and finding something to eat they sat down outside, Meredith curled up in Derek's lap as they gazed at the stars above their heads in the wilderness. The night was a perfect blanket of black with small diamonds twinkling brightly above.

"She's had it for a long time…my mother." She told him. "I was in Europe when she told me, I came home and went to Med School and then as she got worse, I put her in a nursing home. I couldn't take care of her, and she never would've let me or wanted me to, so I put her in a home." Meredith began telling him.

"When she came in the hospital, she looked so lost…confused, it was so hard to see her like that. She was asking for the chief and calling everyone stupid. She was screaming, and I couldn't do anything. I just stood there…then ran. It was horrible." She told him as fresh tears came in her eyes.

"It's ok Meredith, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere either. You can tell me things, I won't run." He told her soothingly.

"Well, my mother wasn't a real mother growing up. She spent all her hours working at the hospital, she was never home, and she cheated on my dad with Richard. Although he doesn't know I know yet. My dad left when I was five, and my mother let him. Richard left her, and when he did that she sat in the kitchen and cut herself, telling me not to do anything. She made me sit there and watch as blood pooled around her and I wasn't able to do anything, because I knew she would yell at me. Finally when she passed out I called the hospital and they came and got her, but when she woke up she yelled at me. She always thought of me as a disappointment, no matter what I did. Eventually she stopped caring, never came home or when she did it was when I was gone or sleeping. I basically raised myself." She told him, tears running freely. She no longer held back, he wanted and needed to know if they were going to be in a real relationship.

"Meredith, I am so sorry you had to go through…all of that. No little kid or anyone should have to go through that, that's horrible." He told her.

"It explains a lot right, like why I act the way I do, explains my issues." She told him.

"It does, but it also makes you the strong person you are, and it makes me believe that you are going to be such an incredible mother to our children." Derek told her with softness in his eyes.

"Our children? You think we'll get there?" she asked him. "I don't want it to be like Burke and Cristina."

"Oh, me neither. That would be bad. I want to be told if you ever are pregnant. I want to be there for you and help plan things." He told her.

"I would tell you. I told her to tell him, but she said she was going to get a abortion anyway, which I would never do." She told him with sadness in her voice.

"I'm glad. And I do think we will get there, because I am in love with you Meredith Grey. I don't want anyone else in this world as my wife or mother to my children. This doesn't mean I'm proposing, because we both know we have a lot to sort through before I do that, but in time I will." Derek told her, hoping she didn't get scared.

"Hmmm, good, I hope so." She told him leaning back into him and cuddling close to him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and breathed in her scent. "I love you too Derek." Meredith told him in a loving tone.

She was ready, she was a changed person and she hoped and wished they would have the future where they would be married and have kids.

"You said it back," Derek said with a big smile on his face and nothing but love shining through his eyes.

"I said it back," she told him looking up at him.

He leaned down and captured her lips with his own, turning it into a passionate kiss both needed to share after the day they had. They were in love, and as long as they worked through things, hopefully their future would be what they hoped.

**There's another one!! Meredith talked to him a little about her mom, and finally told him she loved him!! ******** She's becoming a new person and I love writing her like that instead of dark and twisty because I want their lives to be happy but keep it realistic. I hope I did that.**

**REVIEW PLEASE! They make my day!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks to those who reviewed and to those who read. This one is fluffy and there isn't much of the story in here, but we need chapters like that sometimes. Hope you like it!**

Derek woke up to the sun pouring down on him from the window above him in the trailer. He basked in the sunlight and realized that was the first morning he had woken up on his own with out an alarm clock jerking him awake. He loved days off. As much as he loved being a doctor and helping people in need, there was nothing better than spending the day off with Meredith.

He looked down to see the petite blond haired woman lying in his arms. He loved these moments. When she was still awake and he could just lay there and hold her. The prior night they sat outside and she told him all about her mother and childhood. She had gone through much more than what he had thought, and it made him love her more. He knew she was the one for him, but he knew they weren't ready for marriage. He wanted to take things slow for her. After talking about her childhood they just sat outside in each others arms and enjoyed the quiet the woods brought with it.

As things normally went between the two they couldn't be so close to each other and not share intimate kisses or touches. As soon as Meredith had told Derek she loved him and that she wanted a future with him, he couldn't stop smiling. Eventually after sharing passionate kisses they moved everything to the trailer and showed each other just how much they truly loved the other by making love. It had been the first time since Addison had come back and they basked in the feeling of having the other in their arms again.

Derek was busy thinking of the previous night that he hadn't noticed her beautiful green eyes looking up at him.

"Good morning." She told him with a smile, turning around in his arms still naked from the night before.

"Hmmm, morning beautiful." He smiled his McDreamy smile.

"Derek…" she whined. "That was cheesy." She told him moving a hand to rub his cheek and feeling the stubble on his chin.

"How is that cheesy? I called you beautiful, most women would be flattered." He told her.

"I am flattered, but I'm not most women." She told him.

"Oh, don't I know it." he told her leaning down to place a kiss on her lips.

"I love you," she told him with a smile.

He would never get used to hearing that. "And I love you," he told her, beaming with happiness.

"What do you want to do today?" she asked him.

"I don't know, what do you want to do? This day is for you." He told her.

"You're the one who made me take a day off!" she told him, "You should have something planned!"

"We could take a walk around the land, go into town, lay around and watch T.V. or movies all day." He told her listing off various activities.

"Anything else you are interested in doing today?" she asked with a coy smile as she ran a finger down his chest.

"Lie in bed and make love all day?" he asked with twinkling eyes.

She giggled with laughter and nodded her head. "We could do that," she said with a smile.

"Good, because I plan on doing that. You know you used to be afraid of the words 'making love'." He told her with a smile.

"Not anymore, because I am in love." She told him with the biggest smile he had ever seen on her face. It took his breath away and he had to kiss it away, he was in love with this woman.

After a round of morning love making Derek got up and made breakfast for them to share in bed. He brought her French toast and himself scrambled eggs along with toast for both of them to share.

Once they devoured their meal they got up and showered together, lathering the other up and sharing playful looks along with passionate kisses. They stepped out of the shower and dressed in sweat shirts and jeans, ready to take a walk through the woods.

As they made their way out of the trailer they set off for a pathway next to the trailer and began to climb up the dirt path.

"I can't believe I've never seen the rest of your land. I bet it's all beautiful." Meredith told him.

"I'll show you the top of the hill, you can see all of Seattle up there, and ferry boats." He told her with a wink.

"You have a thing for ferry boats." Meredith told him with a smirk.

"I do, but if I remember correctly so do you." He told her.

"I always have, you just made them more special." She said with a giggle. "When we were broken up…or whatever we were…I hated them. I couldn't ride one." She confessed to him.

"Me neither, but I had to unless I just stayed at the hospital." He told her; glad they were no longer separated.

"I'm so happy we are no longer separated." Meredith said, almost as if she were reading his mind.

"We too, you have no idea. I love waking up to you, and kissing you, and loving you." He told her with a smile as he pulled her close and kissed her on the forehead.

"Me too, to all of that." She said with a smile.

As they continued to walk they made conversation about work and other things they had never discussed. They learnt more about each other and basked in the love they shared. As they made it to the top he made her close her eyes.

"This is stupid. I've seen Seattle before, I've lived here forever." Meredith whined.

"Stop whining, you haven't seen it from up here."

"I doubt it's any different, you're being an idiot, you know that right?" she asked with a smile.

Derek chuckled and told her to stop talking so he could show her. As he uncovered her eyes with his hand he heard a soft gasp leave her mouth.

"Well?" he asked, impatient to see what she thought.

"Maybe you're not that much of an idiot." She said with a burst of laughter. She turned her body to face the city and took it all in. No matter which way you turned there was all city. She could see the ferry boats floating and gliding in the water, the Space Nettle standing prominent amongst the city and the rest of the busy city lay beneath.

Derek was at her side, but he didn't give a damn what the city looked like anymore. He stood and watched the love of his life take in the scene before her. As the wind brushed by her golden locks blew past her face and were floating in the air, her eyes twinkled as she took in the vast area and the sun shone down on her as if she were an angel. He had never seen her so beautiful. She wore no makeup on her face and his sweat shirt was more of a dress on her, beneath it she wore a pair of comfy, fitted jeans that hugged her hips. He had never loved anyone more than he loved her in that moment.

She turned to face him and gave him a smile that caused him to go a little weak in the knees. "It's so beautiful; I've never seen anything so breathtaking before." She told him softly.

"Me neither," he told her honestly while returning her smile.

"Are you trying to pull off that cheesy line guys do in those movies?" she asked him with a grin.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He told her with a laugh. She was too smart for his own good and he knew she hated the cheesiness, but something told him she secretly loved it.

"Oh, you know. When the guy shows the girl some beautiful scenery and while she's taking it all in he's secretly staring at her and when she says how beautiful it is he tells her it is, but they both know he meant that she was the beautiful scenery he was referring to." She explained to him, although they both knew he knew what she was talking about.

"I don't think I've seen any movies like that." He joked with a smile.

"Uh huh, so you weren't doing that?" she asked him moving a little closer to him, but still out of reach from him.

"Oh, I wasn't looking at the scenery at all, I was looking at you. I'll tell you that." He said flashing the McDreamy smile.

"Will you just admit that you were trying to pull off that cheesy movie line just so you could get lucky." She said with a grin.

"Fine, I was staring at you and talking about you and not the scenery. But I didn't do it just to get lucky, I already knew that was going to happen." He said with a smirk.

"Maybe it won't now." She said with a determined look on her face.

"What?! No, you weren't supposed to say that." He said confused as to where this was headed.

"I'm kidding Derek; you will get lucky, but later. I like it up here." She said changing the subject but moving towards him and wrapping her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his noise in her hair, breathing in the scent that always relaxed him.

"We can stay up here for a little while." He told her with a smile. He sat down on the grass and pulled her down onto his lap, securely wrapping his arms back around her. He rested his head on her shoulder and looked out at the scenery.

"What are you going to do with all this land?" she asked him seriously.

"Well, I'm glad you asked. Promise you won't freak out though." He told her.

"I promise." She assured.

"I was hoping, far away in the future when we get ready to get married we could build our house up here on the land looking out at the scenery. When we have kids they could play out on the land and we could sit on the front porch and watch them as we talked about work, and our day or whatever." He told her, waiting for what she would say.

"And if we had a boy you guys could go fishing and I could stay with our little girl and play games while we waited for you guys to come home." she added, enjoying talking about their future together. She knew she wanted one. She wanted a future with him, she wanted a family, and she wanted kids.

"You're ok about making plans?" he asked her somewhat surprised.

"Yeah, I mean I want a future with you Derek. I think we should wait, but I want it. I want to be with you forever and I want kids with you, I also think we should get a dog." She told him with a sly smile.

"A dog? Ok, whatever makes you happy." He told her placing a soft kiss below her ear which caused a shiver to run through her.

"Maybe we could get a dog now, one from the Humane Society. There are probably tons of little guys there who need a home. I'm sure we could find one we loved." Meredith told him.

"Where would we keep him?" Derek asked her.

"Either place, it doesn't matter to me." She told him.

"Well, are we still going to be staying at separate places?" he asked her hoping to hear her say they would return to the way things were.

"Actually, I was thinking we could stay together at both." She told him.

"What? I'm confused." He told her.

"Well, on weekdays stay at my place since it's closer to the hospital. We can keep some clothes there, and then on weekends or days off stay at the trailer to get away a little. And if we get a dog we can bring him out here on the land and walk him." She explained. He thought it was a brilliant idea.

"Hmmm, that sounds good. I like that, as long as we're together every night." He told her.

"Definitely, you've ruined me. I can't sleep without you anymore." She told him leaning back more into his chest to get closer, although they were already as close as they could be.

"The same goes for me, good thing that won't happen again." He assured her.

"I love you," She told him turning her head to look at him in his deep blue eyes.

"I love you too, so much." He told her leaning to place a kiss on her lips. When she shivered he pulled back, "ready to head back?" he asked her.

"Yeah, I think so. We can put a movie in and eat some lunch." She told him as she stood.

Once he stood up he pulled her near and kissed her passionately, if only for the reason because he could and because he loved her. He pulled away and grabbed her hand and they headed down the hill back to the trailer to enjoy the rest of their day off.

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**Thank you for reading! Please review!!! ******** I'm glad you guys like my story! Reviews make my day and I will update sooner if I get 10! **

**Thanks again guys!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you reviewers! You are awesome! **

It had been a couple days since the day they spent in the woods and Meredith and Derek had already returned to work. Meredith's mother was safely back at the nursing home and Meredith no longer crept around the hospital with onlookers gossiping.

Derek had helped her through the mother situation and talking to him had actually helped. They could easily discuss what their future held and the love they had for each other.

Meredith heard the buzzing noise coming from her alarm clock but made no move to turn it off. Maybe if she buried her head further into the pillow and stayed under the covers, they wouldn't have to go to work. Derek, however, did not think the same. He reached across her small body and turned it off. Resting his arm back around her, he placed soft kisses on her shoulder, his eyes still closed.

"I don't wanna go," Meredith whined like a little kid not wanting to leave for school.

"We have to. We have patients to see. Lives to save." Derek said, unable to muster enough energy to move his body.

"Do you want to get our dog after work?" she asked him.

"Today?" He asked her, pulling her tighter.

"Yeah, maybe it'll make the day go by faster." She offered, although it was doubtful.

"Yeah, that sounds good. What time do you get off?" he asked her, kissing her cheek.

"Five, what about you?" she asked.

"I have some surgeries this morning, but as long as nothing comes up I'll be done by five." He explained.

"Hmmm, ok. That sounds good. Maybe after we get him or her we can take them to the store and do some shopping. It could be a bounding experience." She told him.

"Maybe we should get some supplies first, that way we have a leach to take him on his trip." Derek added.

"True, that might work better." She agreed.

Moments passed as they lay there wrapped in each others arms, basking in the feel of the others love.

"I don't want to get up." She whined out again, turning to face him and pulling her body close against his.

"Me neither, this is so comfortable." Derek agreed wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"We're going to be late," Meredith informed him, getting ready to untangle herself.

"We could shower together, save water and time." He said with a smirk accompanied by a chuckle.

"Sounds perfect." She said with a smile to match his as she got up and hurried to the connecting bathroom.

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"We are so going to be late," Meredith said with annoyance heavy in her voice as she ran around the house gathering her things.

"It's not too bad, Mer. Calm down." He told her, apparently that wasn't a good thing to tell her since he was given a dirty look by her.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down Derek, if it weren't for your persuasion for us to do the freakin bendy thing, we wouldn't be late." She told him in a sharp tone.

"You're the one who suggested we share the shower." He told her in defense.

"I just meant basic shower sex Derek! Not bendy thing! You know we never have time for both in the mornings, especially today!" she yelled in a furry as she grabbed her bag and marched to her car.

Derek quickly followed; he had to make things right with her somehow before work started. He entered her car on the passenger side and slid in. He turned to look at her as she started the car and began to pull out the driveway.

"Mer, I'm sorry I made us late. I know I shouldn't have done the bendy thing, I couldn't help myself. I love you so much, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know you love me Derek. It's ok, sorry I snapped at you." She told him, flashing him an apologetic smile.

"It's ok," he said quietly as he grabbed her hand and placed a soft kiss on the back, placing it between them.

After they pulled into the parking lot they quickly entered the hospital and walked onto a elevator. They rode in silence until the elevator landed on the surgical floor.

"Love you, I'll see you sometime today," Meredith told him.

"Want to eat lunch in my office?" he asked her.

"Sure, I'll see you then." She said trying to move away, but Derek pulled her back.

"I love you, have a great morning." Derek told her sweetly, adding a kiss to make things better.

"You too," she smiled. She loved that man, no matter how many mornings he made them late by the bendy thing.

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"Grey, you're late." Bailey said abruptly as Meredith joined the group on rounds.

"I know, I'm sorry." She lamely said.

"Don't be sorry to me, because of that you're on scut; running labs, getting scans, doing paperwork, and working in the pit if you're called to it. Get going!" she bellowed to her.

Meredith rolled her eyes and set off to find the work she needed to do. She hated being late, but if being late was the result for the wonderful morning she had, she was ok with it.

She was standing by waiting for the labs she ordered when she saw the man of her thoughts come around the corner and deliver paper work to the technician.

"Hey, what are you doing down here?" he asked her once he saw her.

"Bailey has me on scut." Meredith told him.

"Because you were late, I'm so sorry Mer." He told her sincerely.

"Derek, it's fine. This morning was totally worth it." she said with a grin as she leaned into his embrace in the empty corridor.

"Really? How bout a repeat tonight?" he asked her with a smirk.

"Definitely." She said with a nod.

"Sounds good, well do you want me to get you on a case? I have a craniotomy you can scrub in on." He told her with a heart warming smile.

"I would love to, but I'm afraid Bailey will say you're playing favorites, or that my work isn't getting done." She told him with a sigh.

"It won't take long, and if she says anything about the intern I choose I will just tell her that all the others were busy." He told her with a plan well thought out.

"Ok, I guess that will be fine." She said with a smile.

"Ok, good. Let's go prep our patient." He said with a smile. He kissed her softly on the lips then pulled back and they walked out of the empty corridor.

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It was later that evening and Meredith was changing out of her scrubs to get ready for picking out a dog with Derek.

"Hey, your shift over?" Cristina asked her.

"Yeah, just finished." Meredith told her as she pulled her shirt over her head.

"Cool, me too. Wanna go get a drink at Joe's?" Cristina asked as she opened her locker.

"I wish I could, but Derek and I are going to pick out a dog." Meredith said with a smile as she buttoned her jeans and closed her locker.

"Seriously? You guys are getting a dog?" She asked.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" Meredith asked confused.

"It's a McDog. You're living a Mclife." Cristina said with a soft laugh.

"Whatever, I'm happy." Meredith told her seriously as she picked up her bag.

"I get it, actually I don't, but as long as your happy and he doesn't hurt you again I don't care. But could you save some time for your person?" Cristina asked.

"I'm sorry Cristina, I know I've been busy with Derek since we got back together. But, we can go out for drinks this weekend." Meredith told her.

"Cool, sounds good." Cristina told her.

"So, how are things with Burke?"

"Well, I haven't told him about the baby and he just broke up with me, so I guess not good." Cristina admitted as she pulled on a new shirt.

"Oh, are you ok?" Meredith asked her concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You're going to come with me to get the abortion right?" Cristina asked her. Meredith knew that behind Cristina's shell she was scared for the abortion.

"Yeah, if you still want me there." Meredith told her.

"Yeah, I just have to make the appointment." Cristina told her shutting her locker.

"Ok, well I have to go meet Derek, but I'll see you tomorrow and we'll make plans for this weekend." Meredith told her as she placed her bag on her shoulder and moved to the exit.

"Sounds good." Cristina told her as they exited the locker room.

Meredith made her way to Derek's office to meet up with him. She knew she didn't have to knock so she just turned the knob and entered the small room to see Derek buttoning his dress shirt.

"Preview for tonight?" Meredith asked with a coy smile.

"You'll be seeing a lot more then that." He told her with a smirk as he finished buttoning his shirt.

"Good to know." She told him as she walked closer to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"How was your evening?" he asked her as he wrapped his arms around her small waist.

"Pretty slow, but that was ok." She told him. "I've been excited for getting Doc." She told him.

"Doc?" he asked confused.

"I thought that would be a cute name for our dog." She told him, "Do you like it?"

"Love it, it's cute. It also fits since we're doctors."

"I thought so too. Let's go!" she told him grabbing his hand and moving out the door.

They arrived at the dog shelter shortly after leaving the hospital and began looking at all the poor dogs trapped in the cages.

"Derek, they all look so sad and lonely."

"I know, but we can't take them all. We need to decide on just one." He told her as he held her hand and scanned the others.

"How? It's so hard." She told him.

"When we look at him we'll know." He told her.

They continued moving down the line until they saw the perfect dog. He was a white shaggy dog about medium size that looked so adorable with it's chocolate eyes staring up at them.

"That's him." Meredith said as she leaned down in front of the cage and held her hand up to the cage. "Hey little guy, want to come home with us?" she asked him allowing him to smell her hand.

He let out a soft bark and Meredith and Derek exchanged a knowing smile. This little guy would become their dog.

"I think that's a yes." Derek said with a chuckle.

"I think so too," she told him. "Hey Doc," she said to the dog waiting to be let out of the cage.

They notified the shelter worker and filled out all the paperwork that was needed. After figuring everything out they took the leach and snapped it on Doc's collar.

"Let's go home buddy," Meredith told him lovingly.

Derek just watched Meredith take care of their dog as they exited the building and couldn't stop thinking of how nice it was to hear her call his trailer home. He loved her with every once of his being and he couldn't imagine spending his life with any other woman but Meredith Grey.

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**They got Doc!! Who's happy about that?!? I am! :) I'm thinking a VERY big chapter will be up next week when I update! Happy Grey's day to all of you! I am so excited for the new episode tonight! **

**Thank you for reading and as always please review! **


	16. A Bad Feeling Part 1

**Thank you to those who are still reading my story and a more special thank you to those who review! :) Who thought the Grey's Premiere was totally intense and crazy? I sure did! I cried, I laughed, I screamed at the stupid show. I loved it. But I want George back!!**

**Here's the next chapter!**

Meredith had a feeling. It wasn't a good feeling, but a bad one. She felt like she was going to die. Not die years from now, or when she and Derek had lived their lives to the fullest, but die today. When she opened her eyes that morning the felling stuck to her like a wet t-shirt stuck to skin. It was a horrible feeling, and she didn't want to go to work.

Derek was lying next to her and their alarm clock had yet to go off. Doc was sleeping on the floor next to their bed and Derek's arms were protectively wrapped around Meredith in the comfortable position they were normally in. But all the normalness of the morning couldn't knock her feeling. She stared open eyed at the ceiling hoping for the feeling to _just go away_.

The alarm clock buzzed and like he usually did, Derek reached over her warm body and shut it off. He then nuzzled his noise into her neck and placed kisses there. She felt the tingly feeling down to her toes but then the feeling came back.

"Good morning." He murmured into her neck.

"Morning." She said shortly.

His head disappeared from her neck and he looked down at her. "What's wrong?" he asked her, worry evident on his facial features.

"Nothing, I just have a feeling." She told him.

"A feeling?" he asked.

"Yeah, like I'm going to die today." She told him. They were honest with each other and they talked now.

"I get feelings sometimes." He admitted to her.

"Really?" she asked surprised for some reason. He seemed so perfect that she would've never thought he'd have the same feeling she was having.

"Yeah, they pass though. And yours will too." He told her.

"I'm not going to work." She told him.

"What? Why not?" he asked confused.

"Didn't you hear me? I have a feeling. That I'm going to die. I'm not risking my life and going to work feeling that way. Or if my feeling ends up causing some weird illness to a patient and then _them_ dying." She told him. She knew she sounded crazy but she couldn't get rid of this feeling and until she could, she was staying in her bed. All day.

"Meredith, I won't let anything happen to you and you can't pass your feeling onto a patient either." He assured her.

"You can't promise me that. It's not in your hands if I live or die. I don't want to go to work and I'm not going." She told him with stubbornness.

"Meredith, come on. It'll pass, you'll see. Let's just go shower and then we'll go to work and you can be on my services and everything will be fine." He told her.

"No, I'm not going. Go take your shower." She ordered him.

He stared down at her for a while to try to read her better, but he couldn't. He reluctantly got up from the warm bed and entered the shower alone. He didn't know what else to do, so once he got out of the shower and saw Meredith sleeping again he picked her phone up and called Cristina over.

He made his way down stairs and ate breakfast as he waited for her to come. The doorbell rang and he got up to let her in.

"Seriously? You couldn't get your own girlfriend up to go to work?" she asked with her usual rudeness and pushed past him towards the stairs.

She opened the door and walked towards the bed and stood there staring at her best friend.

"You have a feeling?" She said in an annoyed voice.

Meredith turned to her, "I have a feeling that I might die."

"Today? Tomorrow? In fifty years? We're all going to die Meredith, now we're late!" Cristina said annoyed by the situation. "Let's go!" she said with a high pitched voice.

"Cristina, come on." Meredith said laying her head back on the pillow.

Cristina made her way to the bed and took a seat next to her.

"Fine, this is me being supportive." She said brushing her hair back and waiting for her friend to continue.

"Really?" Meredith asked, unsure of her friend.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm totally being supportive." Cristina continued looking down at her friend with a pinched expression.

"Fine, things are great with Derek. We're finally where we've always wanted to be, but I'm afraid the other shoe is going to drop and I'm going to be left with nothing. I need to know that things are going to last this time and not come crushing down on me. I don't do families, but I want one with him. Plus, Doc is great, but he's not house broken so we need to fix that. And I think my conditioner stopped working and I have brittle bones. I just need to stay in bed today and feel like I'm going to die." Meredith rambled a she snuggled more into bed.

Cristina rose from the bed and pulled the covers off of Meredith. Jumping on the bed around her she gave her an even more annoyed look. "Whatever, everyone has problems. Now you need to get your ass out of bed and ready for work" she told her. When Meredith didn't begin to move she kicked her lightly and screamed more at her. "Now! Move!"

Meredith rose from the bed and Cristina followed her out of the room.

"We're good to go," Cristina told Derek as she moved by them and exited the house with the slam of the door.

"You ok?" he asked her gently.

"I guess, sorry you had to call Cristina. I'm going to work now." Meredith told him.

"I'm sorry I called her too, I just didn't know how to get you up and out of bed." Derek told her embracing her in a hug.

"It's ok; I'm going to go get ready for work now." She told him placing a soft kiss on his lips, like she'd be doing it for the rest of their lives.

Meredith dressed and got ready for work and met Derek out at the car. She entered the car after him and he handed her a muffin and a mug of coffee. She loved him even more.

"Thank you," she told him placing another soft kiss on his lips.

"You're welcome," he told her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what? The feeling? No, I'm going to pretend it's not there just so I can get through the day." She told him as they held hands over the console.

"I meant about what you told Cristina." He confessed.

"How do you know what we talked about?" she asked.

"I wasn't listening in, I promise. I was just standing outside the door and heard parts of it. And Meredith I can promise you that we are really going to last this time. I love you with all my heart and I promise I'm not going to leave you. Ever. And I want to marry you, I want you to be my children's mother, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you." He told her placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

"I love you too, and I know you won't leave me. That's not what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that something will happen to one of us and we'll never get that happy ending." She confessed.

"We will." He insisted as they pulled into the parking lot.

"Okay." She told him as she unbuckled her seat belt and made the move to exit the car.

He met her in front of the car and pulled her close to his body. He placed his arms around her and kissed her on the lips. "I love you," he told her.

"I love you too." She said.

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He hadn't seen Meredith all day. He had told her that he would put her on his service so that they could spend the day together and she could get over her feeling, but since they didn't have a resident he couldn't get Meredith on his services.

He heard that Bailey was in the hospital waiting to have her baby and was waiting for her husband to get there so they could welcome their son into the world together. He couldn't wait till that was him and Meredith, welcoming their first born into the world.

He heard his pager beep and looked down at it hopeful that it was Meredith. It was a 911 to the Trauma room. He ran quickly to the room and was met with Cristina stating all the problems with the patient. He was an African American male who had just been struck by a vehicle in a car accident.

He told the group to get the man down in an open OR so they could begin their work on him. He turned to Cristina and asked her where Meredith was.

"She's working with a patient who has a paramedic's hand inside his chest. She's fine." She assured him.

They ran to the OR to begin preparation on the male when Izzie informed them that it was Bailey's husband. That added more pressure on him. He needed to make sure that this guy lived to see his child.

"Sir, we're going to make you feel better. We'll operate and then you can go be with your wife and new child." Derek told the man, hoping he could keep his own promise.

"You're…you're Dr…Dr. Shepard right?" The man asked.

"Yes, I am." He told his patient.

"Miranda, she talks about you often. She says you're one of the be…best. She likes you." He stuttered.

"I like her too," Derek told the man as the patient was soon placed under so they could begin their work.

He set to work on Bailey's husband, having to push all worries about Meredith out of his mind as he focused on his patient.

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"Why is this ladies hand inside my patient's chest?" Burke asked Meredith.

"She had to stop the bleeding, and so she placed her hand inside." Meredith explained.

"Ok, well let's get them down to the OR so we can fix the damage." Burke said leading the way.

Once they made it into the OR and were ready to go, Alex ran into the OR telling Burke to put the scalpel down.

"Excuse me?" Burke asked confused.

"I need to talk to you Dr. Burke." Alex told him breathlessly.

Burke made his way to the intern and gave him a stern look as Alex told him about the bomb currently inside of their patient. He looked back to Meredith and she gave a confused look. He ordered Alex to tell the nurses to issue a code black and then he told Meredith what was going on.

She wondered what would happen. The bomb squad would be forced to come in and take over and the OR's would be cleared. But they needed to get the bomb out of the patient. She immediately wondered where Derek was and hoped he would be far away from the OR they were working in. Burke told the nurses to leave and go down stairs and they all filed out. Meredith made it outside of the door when she turned back to him, her feeling seemed to be screaming at her, but she ignored it.

"You need a surgical team," she told him.

"Fine, but you stand over there until the bomb squad comes," he told her.

She moved to the elevators and waited until they came. Cristina then came out of an OR near by and asked her what was going on.

"Cristina! What are you doing here? There's a code black! Didn't you get the message?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, but Derek said he wouldn't leave Bailey's husband open on the table to die. He's continuing the surgery until he's finished." Cristina told her.

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The pagers continued to beep in Derek's OR and he asked Cristina to go over and read his.

"It says code black," Cristina read to him. "What's code black?"

"Are you sure that's what it says?" he asked surprised.

"Yes, code black." The phone in the OR then rang and Cristina answered it. "They told us to evacuate." Cristina told him.

"I'm not leaving my patient open on the table, especially Miranda Bailey's husband." Derek told her. "Any of you can leave if you want, going once, going twice, going a final time," he offered. When no one took it he turned back to the patient, but not without a heavy mind.

He couldn't help but wonder where Meredith was, Cristina had told him she was working on the case but hopefully since there was a code black Burke made her leave. He had to believe that, but something inside him wouldn't let him. She had had a feeling that morning that she was going to die. He couldn't live without her and he couldn't work not knowing where she was.

"Cristina, could you go find Meredith for me please?" he asked her in a polite tone.

"Uh, sure." She answered turning to leave the OR.

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"Cristina you have to go in there and tell him to stop the surgery. I can't go in there and help Burke when I know Derek is down the hall." She told her friend.

"That's how he feels." Cristina told her.

"You can't tell him, he wouldn't be able to work," Meredith said.

"Ok, let's go see Burke." Cristina told her.

They entered the room once the bomb squad showed and they heard the squad coaching Anna on how things were going to go. But before they could begin anything, the bomb squad wanted to know more about what lay beneath the OR they were in.

The main guy went to the Chief and asked about the room and was given a map of the hospital. Looking at the map he noticed the central line for oxygen running below that room, the only solution was to move the guy to another OR.

Back in the OR Anna was beginning to freak out. Burke and Cristina stood near the door coaching her through it and helping her through her fears but since the Anesthetist had left her alone, she was freaking out even more.

"We need you to stay calm Anna." Meredith said soothingly as she came to stand by the frightened young girl.

"I can't do it. I can't. I have my whole life ahead of me, I can't…I can't." she said briskly as she freaked out more.

"Yes you can, it's going to be ok." Meredith told her.

"NO!" The girl screamed pulling her hand out from the chest and moved quickly to the door and pushing it open.

Once the girls hand slipped from out of the chest, Meredith reacted and replaced it with her own. Now Meredith's hand lay on a bomb that was ready to explode whenever it wanted to. Her feeling came on stronger now and she knew that she was going to die today. She wouldn't get a happy ending with Derek, she would die.

Cristina and Burke looked up from the floor that they were lying on and gave her an astonished look.

"Meredith, what did you do?" Cristina asked.

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Cristina returned to Derek's OR quickly unsure of what she was going to tell him in regards to Meredith. If she told him the truth he would crumble and fall apart while working on Bailey's husband. So she had to lie.

"Dr. Shepard," Cristina said as she opened the door.

"Yes," Derek said as he kept working. He needed to know where Meredith was.

"Dr. Grey isn't on this floor, but I'm going to help Dr. Burke and keep you updated on the situation down the hall. They're moving the patient away from the main oxygen line and next door. You should try to hurry as fast as you can." Cristina informed him.

"Alright, thank you very much Dr. Yang." He told her, relived to know that Meredith wasn't with the bomb.

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"Tell me something," Meredith ordered Cristina.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Cristina asked her as they made their way slowly down the hall to get further away from the oxygen line.

"I don't freaking know! I have my hand inside a chest with a bomb Cristina! Tell me anything!" Meredith told her annoyed.

"Ok, well Burke told me he loved me." Cristina told her. Cristina had crashed in the OR a couple weeks ago and lost the baby. Once Burke found out about the pregnancy they became closer and got back together. He had also given her a key to his place which she mostly stayed at.

"He told you he loved you?" Meredith asked surprised.

"Yeah," Cristina admitted.

"Did you say it back?"

"What? No, he didn't tell me, he told sleeping me. That doesn't count." Cristina told her.

"Ok, what did you tell Derek?" Meredith asked.

"That you weren't on this floor." Cristina told her.

"Thank you," Meredith said saddened. "I had a feeling today." She said looking up at Cristina.

"I know, I'm sorry." Cristina said sadly as well.

They made it to the other OR room and the bomb squad's main guy began preparing Meredith for procedure they were going to do.

"You need to leave, I can't work, I can't think with you in here." Burke whispered to her.

"No, I'm not leaving." She told him.

"Cristina, this is not another cool surgery. You have to leave." Burke told her.

"Go Cristina, you have to go. I'll be fine and I'll see you later." Meredith told her with tears in her eyes. She couldn't help but wonder if this was going to be the last time she would see her person.

Cristina gave her a reluctant look and then kissed Burke quickly before leaving. She headed down to the OR room Derek was working in.

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Derek was focusing on the brain of Bailey's husband still when Cristina came back into the room.

"What's the update Dr. Yang?" he asked her.

"They moved the patient safely." Cristina told him.

"And the girl?" he asked her.

She didn't answer him so he asked again. "Dr. Yang, how is the girl with the bomb?"

"Sir…" she said with emotion in her voice.

"What is it?" he asked unsure of what was going on.

"The girl, with the bomb. It's Meredith." She said quickly and he snapped his head up with tears, worry and fear evident in his eyes.

Just then the sound of Bailey's husband flat lining rang through the room.

**Wow! Long chapter! I was excited to write this chapter because it was a BIG event in the show! The second part to it will be updated sometime this week, probably Thursday. I didn't plan on updating tonight but I ended up doing so anyway. Let me know what you think! **


	17. Breathe Part 2

**THANK YOU!!! Those who reviewed are awesome!! I loved reading them! I'm so happy you like my story! I'm loving writing it as well. You guys brought up a thought to me though, I hadn't really thought of Finn in here. I don't know why maybe because I try to forget about that horrible match, but I've started to think about it. He might come in I'm not sure. This is an early update because I planned on only updating Thursdays but I was too excited about writing this chapter so here you go! I don't know if there will be one Thursday or not.**

**Ok, so here is the second part to the bomb episode which it seemed like you guys really liked that episode and my first half to it. I love that episode too because you can totally tell Derek loves Meredith. :) I hope you enjoy!**

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It was Meredith. The girl with the bomb was the love of his life. How did that happen? What happened to the girl before? It was so much easier to operate when he knew it was that other girl. Now it was Meredith and Bailey's husband was coding. He had to push aside as hard as he could the thought of Meredith and focus on Bailey's husband.

"Charge to 300" He ordered the nurse then shocked Tucker's chest once again. After recharging and trying multiple times the sound of the flat line echoed through out the room.

He was frustrated, angry, pissed, worried, scared, and confused about the Meredith condition that he wouldn't let Tucker give up. He took all his emotions and released them in a hard blow to Tucker's chest. He waited a second or two and then heard the wonderful sound of the monitor registering the heart beat of his patient.

He breathed a sigh of relief for one thing going right and returned to his patient's open skull. He continued the surgery.

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"Ok, Meredith. You're going to have to slowly remove the bomb, try to keep it level and go slow." Dylan told her.

"Ok, I think I can do that." She said unsure of herself.

"Take your time."

"I can't…I can't do this."

"Meredith, you have to." Dylan told her. _He is such a jackass_, she thought. "Look, I know you don't like me, so picture someone else. Think of someone you really like coaching you through this." Dylan told her.

"Izzie and George shouldn't have to move out. If I die, they should stay. And Derek, you need to tell him that he can move on. He deserves to be happy, to have a family and kids. He deserves all of that. To build a house on his land and be happy. I want that for him. I don't want him to stay sad or lonely. Make sure you tell him that. And Cristina, make sure she knows how much she meant to me. And tell her not to be afraid to let you in Burke. You guys deserve happiness like how Derek and I are starting to, or did. Anyway, you guys need to tell them that. Please." Meredith sobbed as tears streamed heavily down her cheeks. Burke and Dylan exchanged a look.

"We won't have to; you can tell them all of that once you remove the bomb." Dylan told her. "Are you ready?" he asked her.

"Ok, I guess." She said. She began to replace Dylan with Derek in her thoughts and focused on his blue eyes.

"You can do this," he soothingly told her as she began to move the bomb.

"Take it slow, you're doing fine." He coached her.

"I'm scared." She confessed.

"I know, but you're almost done." He told her with love and admiration in his eyes.

The bomb was successfully moved and Meredith lightly handed it over to Dylan. He began to walk to the door as Burke began his surgery on the patient.

She had done it; successfully she had removed a bomb from a chest. That was insane. She wanted to find Derek. She moved to the door and looked down the hall to Dylan walking. She stood there frozen as she watched the bomb rupture and felt the after effects. The explosion blasted her backwards and she fell to the ground hitting her head on the way. She lay there frozen and unconscious.

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He heard the explosion as he was scrubbing out and his heart came to an abrupt halt. Where was Meredith? Was she still alive? Hopefully she had been far away from the bomb, but if her hand was on it then he may have just lost the love of his life.

Tears began to spring to his eyes as he rushed to the door and threw it open. He needed to find her. He looked down the hall from where the explosion came and noticed the damage of the walls and ceiling. Things had fallen, papers and debris falling from the ceiling like rain and a helpless body lay in the midst of it. His Meredith.

He rushed to her side and knelt down to her, checking her pulse to see that it was slowly there and running his flash light across her pupils to check for any brain damage. Hopefully it was just a concussion and nothing serious, but he wanted to get everything checked out.

"Meredith," he said softly trying to wake her.

"Mer, come on. Wake up for me, please." He said hastily. She had to be alright. He wouldn't forgive himself ever if anything happened to her. She had a feeling this morning, and he made her come to work. It was all his fault.

She didn't stir so he scooped her up bridal style and carried her to the elevator.

She _had_ to wake up. He couldn't live without her. He couldn't imagine or picture a life without her. A future without her was pointless, meaningless, a waste of life. He needed her. He wanted a forever and ever with no end. He wanted to marry her, declare his love to her in front of all her friends. See her bearing his children, seeing her interact with the beautiful children their love would create. He needed all of that, he needed her to live or he simply couldn't and wouldn't live without her. Not fully.

"Come on Mer, please. Just wake up or move a little bit, I know you're probably tired. Just please." He pleaded, sobbing like he never had. Not since his dad passed away.

The elevator dinged and he passed the onlookers and took her to the nearest exam room. He then noticed that Cristina, Izzie and Mark had followed him into the room. Luckily they were able to set her up and get her hooked up to machines. Her heart beat was more regulated and everything else was fine, she just needed to wake up.

He knew Cristina was torn between staying and seeing Burke. He told her she could leave, that he would keep an eye on Meredith and if something happened he would let her know. Izzie asked the same thing and left to give him privacy.

"You sure you're ok man?" Mark asked gently.

"No, no I'm not ok Mark. The love of my life is lying on a bed unconscious because she had a feeling this morning. But instead of me listening to her and having her stay home, I made her come to work. I made her Mark. I can't be ok. Not when she isn't. I need her. God I need her so much. I can't live…I can't…_breathe_ without her. So no, no I'm not fine." Derek told his somewhat friend as tears streamed down his face and he fought back sobs.

Mark, unsure of what to say placed a comforting hand on the back of his friends shoulder. "She'll be ok man, she's going to live. I know it. She's just resting a little from everything. And you can't blame yourself. You had no idea this was going to happen. If you did I know for sure you wouldn't let her come to work. I've never seen you love someone so much before Derek. She'll come out of this." Mark told him before leaving the room quietly.

Derek knew it wasn't his fault. He honestly knew that deep inside, but he couldn't help but feel guilty. So guilty for making her come to work. He should have let her stay in bed, but he couldn't take anything back so he sat there wishing. Wishing that they could have everything they had dreamed of recently, that they had begun to work towards. He wanted a life with her.

He rested his head on the side of her leg, letting the feel of the comfort the mattress was giving off to ease a aching pain in his head. He let his tears be soaked up by the blanket and kept his hands in a praying stance as he silently prayed to God to save the love of his life.

He didn't know how much time he spent there, resting like that as tears freed from his eyes but he felt a hand in his hair and the fingers were familiar.

He slowly raised his head to see the beautiful green eyes he loved and hoped his future daughter would possess, staring back at him blankly.

"What happened?" she croaked out in a rough voice.

"You're awake! Meredith! You're awake!" He exclaimed standing up to touch her forehead and place soft kisses all along her cheeks and chin. She was awake and alive.

"Yeah, I am. Derek, what happened?" She asked again, confused.

"You don't remember?" he asked concerned.

"I…I remember…a…a bomb. Inside a mans chest. The paramedic…she…she pulled her hand out and I…I replaced it with mine. God, that was stupid. Then…we moved, we moved the patient and I told Cristina not to tell you that it was me. I remember leaving messages to everyone with Dylan and Burke, but Dylan he…he…did he die?" she asked, confused.

"I'm sorry Mer, but he did. The bomb went off in his hands and the impact sent you to the ground. You hit your head, but other then that and not waking up right away you're fine. Medically you are fine." He told her with a slight smile. She was awake.

"He saved my life." Meredith said.

"Dylan?" he asked.

"Yeah, I…he saved my life, and now he's dead." She said as tears formed in her eyes.

"Mer, it's ok. Shh, it's ok." He soothed as he rubbed his thumb up and down her hand lovingly.

"I'm sorry Derek, I'm so sorry." She apologized.

"Hey, what are you apologizing for?" he asked confused.

"You, I almost died. I almost left you. After everything, the fixing, the talking, I almost left you. I'm sorry." She said.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just grateful you are alive and awake. You have no idea how happy I am to see your beautiful eyes and hear your voice." He told her.

"I left them a message, for you. If I died." She told him, looking away.

"What?" he choked out, he hadn't expected that. He didn't want to think of that.

"Yeah, I told them to tell you I love you. I love you, but if I died I wanted you to move on. To go be happy, find someone to love, find someone to start a family with and build that house we wanted. To live, and not hide. I wanted you to be happy, if I died." She confessed with tears in her eyes. It wasn't easy for her to think about that. Her dying and him loving someone else. Making love to someone other than her, creating kids, building their house made her sick, but she would want him to be happy.

"No, you're alive. We're not talking about that." Derek dismissed. He didn't want to think about that. In the past hour when she wasn't waking up he hadn't even thought about moving on. He had only thought about her waking up and them moving on _together_.

"Derek, you need to know that in case something does happen to me. I don't want you to be lonely." She told him.

"NO Meredith! Stop it! Now! I don't…I can't…I wont…think about that now! I just got you back! You just woke up and you're talking about the future without you if you were to die! You can't do that! I…I…I wont be able to live…with…without you. There's no way. I'd be…I'd be a shell of a person. I wouldn't…I _couldn't_ move on. No, no, no, no, no,…"

"Ok, hey, Derek. It's ok. Breathe." She soothed him. She had never seen Derek this way. His body was shaking and racking with sobs. She'd never seen him cry let alone sob. This incident had affected him more than she thought it would. She didn't tell him that stuff to upset him, but let him know what she wanted for him.

"You…You…just can't…say…stuff….like…that." he managed to say between sobs.

"I won't. I'm sorry. Please, it's ok. I'm here, I'm alive. We'll have our future. I love you, so much Derek." She told him as she cradled his head in her lap.

"I love you, Meredith, so damn much. You can't leave me." He told her, as she brushed his tears away.

"I won't." she said tears of her own coming down.

Moments passed as the two stared into the others love shone eyes. They basked in the need and love for each other.

"Kiss me." She whispered.

He cracked the first smile since the news of Meredith with the bomb, and to his relief she returned it. She was smiling at him and it made his heart skip a beat.

He rose from the chair at her side and placed a soft, long, lingering kiss on her lips. She kissed back and they savored the pureness of their love in that kiss.

Pulling away and taking the seat again he held her hand still and looked at her lovingly before brushing away the tears that lay on her cheeks.

"I love you," he whispered again. He couldn't stop saying it.

"I love you too" she said equally soft.

"Lets get you cleaned up, then we'll head home. We should stay the night at your house tonight, then you, me and Doc can head out to the trailer for the weekend." He told her.

"We don't have it off." She pointed out.

"We do now." He told her. He wasn't letting her go back to work yet and he wouldn't return without her. They needed a few nights alone in the woods, where they would build their future. They needed each other, forever.

**There it is. I thought about extending it, but I think this is a great place to end it. **

**I have questions for you guys.**

**Do you want Finn in the story later with Doc?**

**And, do you want Derek to be hovery? I know that's how he is in character but I also know that other stories (a lot of them) have him be hovery at some point in the story. Let me know if you're annoyed of it and if you do want it how do you want Meredith to react? Do you want her to be annoyed of him or thankful and understanding? Just trying to get a feel of what you guys want. Thank you for reading and PLEASE REVIEW!!! GREEN BUTTON BELOW!!!**


	18. Almost Dying Changes Everything

**Ahhh!! I LOVE you guys! You're awesome! I love the feedback! ******** I'm so happy you guys liked the last chapter. I was hesitant to have Derek kinda beak down, but I thought that's how he really would be like. He loves Meredith, so the thought of losing her is unthinkable to him. Thank you SO MUCH to those who reviewed! You made my day and I love you all! ******

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Derek drove them home with Meredith's warm hand caressed in his hand. He glanced to look at her each time they came to a stop and just took her in. She was alive and they were in love. It was good. She stared out the window with a blank expression and he knew she was thinking about Dylan. Seeing him explode in front of her had scarred her.

He turned the car into her driveway and went to the passenger side to help her out.

"Derek, I'm fine. I can get out of the car on my own." She told him jokingly with a smile.

"Meredith, I want to help you. Your body is going to be tired for the next couple days. I don't want you to be afraid to ask for help." He told her lovingly as he guided her to the front door.

They entered and he took her coat and hung it up next to hers.

"Do you want to shower?" he asked her. Cristina and Izzie had cleaned her off a little bit in the intern locker room after the explosion, but he knew she would want a nice shower or bath. "Or I could get a bath ready for you instead if you want. A little more relaxing."

"Hmm, that sounds nice. Will you join me in the bath? Because that would be very relaxing." She told him with a smile.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes Derek, we can just lay in there together. In each others arms. We don't always have to have sex." She said with a glimmer in her eyes. That made him happy, just seeing that glimmer of happiness.

"That sounds perfect. I'll get it ready." He told her heading up stairs to turn the water on and light candles around the tub.

Meredith followed upstairs shortly after and entered the bathroom behind him. He turned and watched her with a careful eye as she started to unbutton her jeans.

"Are you going to just stare at me?" she asked him with a smirk.

"Just making sure you're ok." He told her.

"Derek, I'm fine. Instead of watching me like a father could you look at me like you love me?" she asked. She knew Derek was worried and scared about the whole bomb thing today, but she was standing naked in front of him and he was looking at her with such concern it no longer seemed like a loving look.

"Meredith, you know I love you. The whole thing scared me today, that's all. You have to give me time to come to terms with it all." He told her getting that loving look back a little.

"Prove it." she told him.

"Prove what?" he asked her.

"That you love me." She told him.

"You know I love you, especially after today." He told her confused by her point.

"Show me Derek," she told him.

He caught on. She needed to feel loved. After a day like this, she needed to feel loved. Her father had left her at a young age, her mom was never home for her and only cared about surgeries and she didn't have any siblings. He understood now.

He walked over to Meredith and pulled her close. He leaned his head down and captured her lips in a passionate kiss, putting all his love into it. He pulled back and looked down at her with nothing more then endless love shining through them. "I love you Meredith, that will never change and I will never leave you. You're it for me." He told her lovingly.

"I love you too, Derek." She whispered worried that a louder voice would ruin the moment.

He got in the tub filled with bubbles and offered her a hand to help her in too. She lay in front of him and leaned back to rest her back against his muscular chest. They lay there in close proximity and thought about the day they just had.

"We can talk about it," she said after moments of silent.

"Are you sure?" he asked her carefully. He needed to talk about it, and he thought it would help her too, but he knew this was new for her.

"Yeah, it's ok. I think it'll help." She admitted.

"Ok, uhm, why did you tell Cristina not to tell me it was you?" he asked her. He had no idea how to go into this conversation carefully or easily. It was hard.

"Derek, I couldn't let her come tell you that I had my hand on a bomb while you were operating. I didn't know how you'd act. If I had been told you were in danger, I would have freaked out. And I couldn't let you do that, not while operating on a patient." She told him.

"I get that, I do. I just…I wish I could've been there for you." He told her softly while placing a kiss on the back of her neck.

"But you couldn't. You had to operate. Want to know what got me through it all?" she asked him.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"I pictured you. Instead of Dylan helping me, in my head I was picturing you. You were standing there with me telling me I could do it. That we would make it through and that you loved me. That got through the whole thing and I was able to pull it off because of you." She told him.

"It's my fault you were even in that position." He told her and she could detect the grief he was feeling.

"How can you say that?" she asked him confused.

"If I hadn't made you go into work, you could've been fine. You wouldn't have been there with a bomb. If I had let you have your way you could have been safe at home in bed." He told her.

"Derek Shepard. Do not blame this on you. I won't let you do that." She told him.

"But you had a feeling." He told her.

"And that feeling would've still been there if I had stayed home. What if I had then heard about the bomb threat? I would've thought you were in danger. You might have been the one in that position. Derek, it's not your fault. It's no ones. It was all an accident and we're both fine and we're still together. That's all I need." She told him.

"Me too, but I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had lost you." He whispered to her.

"It still wouldn't have been your fault." She told him.

"I wouldn't take it that way though Meredith. I can't…I can't imagine my life without you anymore. You're all I think and dream about, so to loose that or come close to loosing that is the scariest thing." He admitted as new tears came to his eyes at the thought.

"Derek, hey. It's ok. Remember I'm still here. Nothing happened and I'm fine. I would've ended up at the hospital anyway. You know I can't stay in bed all day and not think about work. I couldn't do that. I was stupid to put my hand in there. I wasn't thinking at the time and I almost jeopardized our future in doing it." She told him.

"You're alive. I'm alive. We still have that future. It's going to be okay, I honestly believe that. Once you get back on your feet, rest up a little, everything will go back to normal. We'll be ok." He told her trying to soothe her.

"I love you," she told him turning in his arms to plant a kiss on his lips.

"I love you too, ready to get out of here?" he asked her.

"Yeah, the water is getting cold." She told him as she got out of the bath and grabbed a towel to dry off.

Derek climbed out after her and she handed him a towel to use and he accepted it with a smile.

"I'm not used to us wrapping up in towels after baths together." Derek told her with a smirk.

"That's because you pick me up and take me to the bed right away." She joked with him. "I'm too tired after today. I'm sorry Derek." She said after a while.

"Mer, its fine. I was just joking. You know I love cuddling in bed no matter what." He told her with his McDreamy smile.

"Our kids better not get that damn smile of yours." She told him with a smile as she turned to the bedroom to get dressed.

"Well, if our little girls look just like you, with those eyes, your smile and that giggle. I'll be putty for sure then." He told her.

"Oh, you already are. And you'd love it if our girls were like that." She told him as she tugged on her Dartmouth t-shirt over her head.

"You're right. I'd love it. Every single minute." He told her as he kissed her gently.

"You really want our girls to look like me?" she asked surprised.

"Of course! But I also want at least one thing on them where you can tell I'm their dad. Then everyone knows that you and I created them." he told her with a smile.

"Marking your territory?" she asked.

"As best I can." He said as he pulled on pajama bottoms.

"You're an idiot." She said with a smile as she finished dressing and climbed into bed.

"You love it, and you love me." He said as he followed her into bed and pulled her against his chest. He leaned his head in and buried his noise in her hair to smell the relaxing smell of lavender enter his nostrils.

They lay there in a relaxing silence before Meredith spoke. "I feel bad about Dylan." She admitted.

"It's not your fault. You couldn't have done anything to save him. You saved the patient. If it weren't for you he would have died. Also, if you wouldn't have placed your hand in there, there could have been a lot more deaths today. I know you feel bad, and I cant tell you not to. But, you should know that you're the hero today. In my eyes, and everyone else's. We're all ok because of you. The bomb wasn't safely made." He told her.

She listened and tried to believe him. She wanted to, but she couldn't help feel the guilt that he had died because of her. She felt tears form in her eyes and Derek knew by the tenseness in her shoulders that she was upset.

"Mer, it's ok…shh…" he soothed as he turned her around and buried her head in his chest rubbing circles on her back.

"I couldn't remember the last time I kissed you," she admitted after the tears were already shed.

"What?" he asked.

"When I was standing there and they were telling me what to do with the bomb. All I could think about was the messages to leave you guys but I couldn't remember the last time we kissed." She told him.

"It was this morning. We were going into work and we were on the elevator. We always end up in the elevator together." He told her with a chuckle. "You said you would see me later and you kissed me quickly on the lips, like it was a habit and you'd be doing it for the rest of our lives. Then you left the elevator to get ready. That was the last time we kissed before the bomb." He told her, thinking about that morning.

"I remember now," she said.

"Good,"

"I plan on doing that for the rest of my life." She told him.

"What? Putting your hands on bombs? Please don't." he joked, trying to add humor in the situation.

"No, you idiot." She said with a giggle, god he loved that giggle. "I plan on kissing you every morning, and making it a habit." She told him.

"Hopefully a fun habit, not a boring one." He told her.

"Oh, definitely a fun habit." She said with a smile as she climbed on him and kissed him passionately.

"I love you, Meredith. I love you so much." He told her pulling the hair behind her ears to look her in the eye while cupping her face.

"I love you too, more than anything." She told him with tenderness as she kissed him again.

She lay down on top of him and rested her head in the crook of his neck breathing in the natural scent that made him, Derek. She loved it. After moments of silence and when he thought she was asleep, she whispered something into the darkness that he heard.

"I almost died today," she said as if she were just realizing it.

"Yeah, you almost died today," he told her wrapping his arms around her tighter.

Moments passed and he decided to speak up again, "I'm glad you didn't die today," he told her as he placed a kiss on top of her head.

"Me too," She said placing a kiss on his neck.

They lay in each others arms and basked in the feel of the others closeness and warmth, thankful for the future they were about to have.

**What did you think? I hope you liked it. I wanted to add some stuff from the show but make it fit in with everything else. I want to thank you guys for taking the time to read and I hope you have a couple minutes to spare and review!!! Thank you!!!!!!**


	19. Moving Out

**Thank you to those who reviewed. I got about half as many as last chapter but I'm guessing that's because it was boring to you a little? Maybe? Or because I didn't ask a question. But thank you to those who did review, you made me smile. Here is the next chapter; it's a little lighter and a week later. I'm also going to be talking about the other couples but since I don't care too much about them I won't go in depth. So here's the back ground info.**

**Alex/Izzie: Together, he didn't cheat on her because I don't want that in the story line. They are also serious. They've been together since season one in this story.**

**Cristina/Burke: Together, never broke up. Burke found out about the baby when she fell and had the surgery. I know that was a big thing for them, but I don't care about them as much as Derek and Meredith. **

**George: I'm having him be with Olivia. In my mind they were just such a cute couple. Both are kinda dorky and cute. I don't even know if I want Callie in the story so I'm having George and Olivia be together. They've also been dating and are serious. **

**I hope you guys aren't mad at me for rushing those couples and not going into detail with them, but I just don't like focusing on them. They're just kinda there. I like writing this story as a focus on Mer/Der because they are my favorite. I hope you guys like it.**

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It was a week later after the bomb accident and everyone at the hospital was getting back to normal. It was the weekend and for once all the interns had the day off. Izzie and Alex were moving Izzie's stuff out of Meredith's house because they were getting an apartment together. The apartment was near Joe's and across from the hospital. It worked out great for the couple.

Coincidently, George was moving out too with Olivia and moving into her apartment in the same Apartment building as Izzie and Alex. Meredith and Derek would be alone. Derek was very excited for them to be living alone together. He thought of it as no roommates there to interrupt them or make fun of them having loud sex. Also, a pro he saw was that they could put condoms back in the cookie jar and not have to worry about their roommates walking in.

Meredith was excited too. She knew this was a good thing, but she couldn't get rid of the nervous feeling in her stomach. She would be alone with Derek. As if they were married. It kinda scared her. She knew this was what they wanted, and she also knew that their future would be like that, but she hadn't expected it that soon. She loved Derek; there wasn't a doubt of that at all. But what if he didn't like living with her alone? He would have to make all the meals, she did some laundry but she was never organized with it. She did some of the grocery shopping but not that much since she ordered take out most of the time. She wasn't domestic at all, Izzie was. That was why it had worked so well before.

"Hey, I gotta run into the hospital for a patient, but I'll be home afterwards. I was thinking of going to the grocery store before coming home too." Derek told her as he came over to her in the doorway of the living room.

George and Izzie were upstairs finishing packing.

"You're going grocery shopping?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah, I know you mostly do the whole take out thing but I thought I'd go and get some stuff so I can make meals for us each night this week. I know you don't really like grocery shopping." He told her with a teasing smile. He knew her, he really did.

"You're amazing." She told him as relief washed over her. She no longer needed to worry about that.

"Are you ok?" he asked looking at her with concern.

"I'm fine. I was just…unsure of how I felt about living alone with you." She admitted.

"What do you mean? Do you not want that?" he asked holding back the hurt he felt.

"No, no, I want you here. You know I do. I just wasn't sure how the adjusting would happen. I mean, I don't want you to find out that I don't do anything around the house and then leave. I mean I do my laundry, but I'm so disorganized. I do some grocery shopping, but not that much. I never know what to get. I only clean the house when I find time, I can't cook, which you already know. I'm just scared of the stuff you'll find out." She told him with honesty.

"Mer, I don't care about any of that. We can do our laundry together, and grocery shopping. And we'll clean the house together too. It'll be fun and easy. And I can cook, so you don't have to worry about that. I love you, Meredith. I'm not leaving. I wish I could get you to believe that." He told her with a loving look.

"I know you love me, I do. I just worry sometimes." She told him with a sad smile.

"I'm not your dad, I'm not leaving you. Ever." He told her.

"Ok, I believe you." She told him with a pure smile.

"Ok, good. So do you need anything from the store when I go?" he asked her.

"You can say no if this totally takes away your mad hood, but, could you get me some tampons and pads?" she asked him sweetly. She knew George hated doing it.

"Of course." Derek said with a nod.

"Really?" she asked surprised.

"Really." He answered her with a peck on the lips.

"Wow, you aren't going to throw a fit about being a man? And how men don't buy girls' tampons?" she asked with a laugh.

"Nope, I know you need them. I love you; you know how manly I am. And it's not that big of a deal." He told her with a wiggle of the eyebrows at how manly he was.

"You really do love me," she said with a smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him tenderly.

"I do, forever and ever." He told her as he pressed her against the door frame and made the kiss passionate.

"Uh-hem" they heard from the bottom of the stairs.

They pulled apart and saw Izzie and George standing there with the last of their belongings at their feet.

"You guys only have to put up with us being here a little longer, then you can have all the dirty living room sex you want." Izzie said with a giggle.

"Can't wait." Derek said to only Meredith. She smacked him lightly with a giggle. "I should get some more condoms to fill the cookie jar." He added with a smirk and twinkle in his eye.

"Sounds good," Meredith said with a smile as he backed away from her.

"You guys all packed?" he asked them.

"Yep, just waiting for Alex to get here so we can move everything in his car and take it over there." Izzie added.

"Hey George, Derek is going to get me tampons tonight at the store. He's not scared of them." Meredith teased.

"Yeah, well he grew up with sisters. I didn't and I don't buy tampons. He's also whipped." George added.

"Yeah, well you'll be doing that for Olivia too. Give it time." Derek told him.

"No, I won't. Because guys don't buy TAMPONS!" George said, getting mad all over again. Izzie and Meredith laughed at him, remembering the first time they asked him.

"Derek does." Meredith added with a loving smile.

"Yeah, well he's the only one." George said.

"Alex told me he would." Izzie added.

"Whatever." George said annoyed as he grabbed his stuff and exited the house. Izzie picked her stuff up and followed him out with a smile.

"Are you sure you want to stay here and not go with them to the apartment?" Derek asked. He'd been a little better and not so clingy since they had talked, but he still worried about her. Returning back to work was a little hard for him too. He would always be thinking about Meredith and he would make more time to go see her during the day, just to check up on her.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I just want to relax at home with Doc tonight. We need some alone time curled up on the couch with some medical journals." She assured him.

"Ok, call me if you need anything. I won't be long. Also call if you can think of anything else you might need at the store." He told her.

"Ok, I will. Be careful driving." She told him lovingly.

He stared down at her giving her a loving look.

"What?" she asked him.

"You just sounded very wifely there." He told her with a smile.

"Oh…umm…" she stumbled on her words.

"Mer, its fine. I like it. I just noticed that. But I will be careful." He promised her as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Ok, I love you." She told him as she looked up at his eyes.

"I never get tired of hearing that," he told her as he kissed her again. "I love you too."

"You should also pick up some more food for Doc, he's running low." She told him with a smile.

"I'll try to remember. Bye." He told her with one last kiss as he turned and walked out of the house.

Izzie and George returned to the house once they had things set in Alex's car outside and came in to say their final good byes.

"Ok, well the car is loaded up with our crap. We're ready to go. Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Izzie asked her.

"I'm sure. You guys go be with Alex and Olivia and unpack together. It's exciting. I remember when Derek moved in, we hardly got anything unpacked." She said with a giggle.

"You guys would have sex to celebrate before you could finish one box." Izzie joked.

"We can finally get rid of our ear plugs Iz," George joked.

"Oh hush you guys! We weren't that bad!" Meredith said, knowing it was a lie.

"Ok Mer, whatever. I guess we'll be going. You have to come see our places soon! We'll each have a party sometime!" Izzie said excited.

"Sounds great, I'll see you guys at work tomorrow." Meredith said with a smile as she hugged each of them.

She walked with them to the door and watched them drive away then turned to Doc.

"We're alone for the afternoon buddy. Daddy will be home later." Meredith told him and he perked up at hearing her voice.

"Come on; let's go curl up on the couch together." Meredith said as she pat her leg for him to follow.

Doc sat up against Meredith's leg and rested his head on her leg and she pet it to show him affection. He was a good dog. They house broke him and he caught on easily. He and George had problems to begin with, but now that George was gone everything would be fine.

Meredith started reading a medical journal and when she saw an article written long ago from her mother she remembered that Ellis Grey had used the office at home to work on some articles. When she first moved to Seattle she had ignored the room that was closed behind doors next to the foyer, but she felt the sudden need to go through all the boxes in that room. Maybe Derek and she could set it up for a home office, some place where he could work.

She got up and Doc followed at her feet as she pulled the doors open. The room was stuffy so she went to the wall and opened the windows there, letting the cool fall air in the room. She then turned the light on and began to go through the boxes, one after the other.

After hours of going through box after box and finding her mother's surgeries on tape, and her mother's awards along with certificates she turned to another box.

"Hey Mer, what are you doing in here?" Derek asked. He had just gotten home and carried in the groceries when he heard Meredith in the office he had never seen. He took in the room and noticed its plainness. It was painted an egg shell white and had wood flooring like the living room. There were no pictures on the wall, just boxes scattered and stacked around the room.

"I thought I'd clean the room out. Go through my mom's things and make this a place where you could work." She told him as she turned to face him.

"You didn't have to do that Mer, but I'd love to help you go through the stuff if you don't mind." He told her as he came close to her and kissed her as a greeting.

"I'd like that. I know she's pretty much gone and she'll never remember this stuff anymore, but I think I'm ready to put it up in the attic." Meredith told him.

"Ok, we'll go through it and see what's here and decide what goes up there." He told her lovingly.

"Thank you. How was the hospital?" she asked.

"Really boring without you." He told her with a smile.

"That's because you couldn't have dirty office sex or on call room sex." She joked.

"True, but I get dirty living room sex later right?" he asked her with a smile.

"We'll see. Depends how good you are." She said with a laugh, she loved their teasing relationship.

"I got you tampons and pads, does that make me good?" he asked her as he came up to her.

"It does, did anyone make fun of you?" she asked.

"The cashier lady just said I must really love my wife." Derek said with a laugh.

"And what did you say?" Meredith asked curious.

"That I loved her dearly and would do anything for her." Derek told her in soft tone.

"Derek, that's so cheesy." Meredith told him. "You didn't even correct her."

"I didn't think it would be nice, she didn't need to know. And anyway, we're headed there in the future." He told her as he kissed her softly.

"Still cheesy." She said.

"You love it," he told her.

"Only when it comes from you." She admitted.

"No one else better be saying cheesy lines to you." Derek said getting in his possessive mood she thought was hot, but would never admit that to him.

"Oh Derek, calm down. Only Mark." She teased with a smile so she knew he was.

"Take it back," he told her with a twinkle in his eyes.

"No," she told him stubbornly.

"Take it back," he told her beginning to tickle her.

"Derek! No! Stop it! Stop it!" She breathed as he trailed his fingers over all her ticklish areas.

"Take it back and I will," he said with a laugh as he heard her beautiful giggle that sounded so melodic to him.

"Fine!! I take it back!" she said as he stopped and she regained her breathing. "You know nothing would ever happen between him and I." she told him.

"I know, I trust you." He told her.

"So then why haven't you talked to him?" she asked.

"Because, I don't know if I can trust him. I know what they did actually helped me get here with you, and I have to be thankful for that in some way. But I don't know if I can trust him anymore." He told her.

"I think you should try." Meredith told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him near.

"You do?" he asked.

"I do, he's lonely here in Seattle with no friends and you need a guy friend to turn to when I annoy you or kick you out." She said with a smile.

"Why would you kick me out?" he asked.

"In case you are so stupid to piss me off," she said with a light giggle.

"Ah, I see. I'll think about it." he told her as he grabbed her hips and moved them back and forth in a swaying motion.

"Good," she said planting a kiss on his warm lips. She could kiss him forever and never get tired of it.

"So, lets unpack." He told her with a smile.

"Then you get some dirty sex later." She promised.

"We can't have dirty sex right now?" he asked her already aroused at the thought.

"You gotta work for it a little Derek," she said with a giggle.

"I bought you tampons, guys don't buy tampons!" Derek pointed out, hoping it would earn him points.

"I guess," Meredith admitted with a smile.

It didn't take Derek long before he was at her side in an instant and picked her up to place her gently on a sturdy box near them, ravishing her with kisses. He loved having the roommates moved out, and it turned out so did Meredith.

**So, what did you think? Good, bad? Boring? I thought it would be good to add some fluff since the bomb thing was intense. And this is a cute little chapter for Mer/Der! So, do you guys want them to go through the boxes in the next chapter? Because, I know that was a big deal kinda and I think it could also let Derek in a little more into Meredith's life. Let me know what you think about this chapter and about next chapter.**

**Thank you for reading PLEASE REVIEW!! I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU GUYS!!**


	20. Opening Up the Past

**Thank you readers and reviewers! You are all amazing!! I love hearing from you, you make my day! I appreciate hearing from all of you, but a special thanks to McMerDer, and snv3. You guys had a lot to say, and all of it was very helpful! Snv3 you also gave me a lot to think about with future chapters, so thank you! Here it is guys, they go through the boxes…dun, dun, dun. :)**

After rounds of dirty living room sex, Meredith threw on Derek's button down shirt along with her underwear and made her way back to the boxes. Derek followed in his boxers and wrapped his arms around her as she looked down at another box.

"You wanna go through them?" he asked her gently.

"Yeah, I think I do. Want to help?" she asked turning to him with a smile.

"Absolutely." He said with a grin.

She opened up the box that was closest to her and pulled the tape from the box. She pulled back the flaps of the cardboard and looked inside. There sat a few photo albums covered with a hat she wore when she was younger.

"I remember this hat!" she said with a smile as she pulled it over her head and looked at him. The little fuzzy ball on top bobbed with every move she made and he couldn't help but smile. He pictured Meredith as a little girl wearing that hat and his heart melted.

"You look adorable." He told her with a smile as he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Thank you, I loved this hat. I would wear it all the time. Inside and outside. No matter what." She said with a smile on her face as she pulled it off and set it next to the box. She then bent down and picked up a photo album.

She started flipping through the pictures and landed on one she remembered. It was of her sitting in a red wagon she had gotten for Christmas with her parents on the side of her. They weren't embraced together in a loving fashion, just standing there. Meredith now knew they weren't in love then. But when she was younger, she didn't know that.

"Is that you?" he asked her with a chuckle as he took in the image. She was sitting in the wagon with a bright smile on her face with curly blond pig tails. He loved it and he couldn't help but hope that one day his little girls would look just like that.

"Yeah, that's me. With my parents, who at the time were starting to fight apparently. But I was happy I got that wagon." She explained.

Derek then took in her parents. They didn't look happy, but Thatcher at least had a fake smile plastered to his face. Ellis just stood there acting like she had something else she rather be doing, and knowing her it was probably either surgery or Richard Webber.

Derek thought of how unfair it was that Meredith had to deal with that. He knew that once they got married that would never happen to them. They would take tons of pictures, and in each one it would show just how much he loved Meredith, and vice versa.

"I'm sorry Mer, you deserved better." He told her.

"Yeah, but if you think about it maybe I had to go through all of that to get where I am. And if I weren't where I am now, we may have never met." She told him.

"I don't think so. I think it was fate for us to find each other, we would've some way." He said with a smile as he flipped to the next photo.

This one was of a little baby Meredith on her first birthday. Her face was covered in smashed chocolate cake and white frosting. She had a smile on her face and he knew just by that smile that she was giggling. That beautiful giggle he loved so much, and also hoped his daughters developed. She was pointing at the camera with a frosting covered finger and she looked like a happy baby.

"Awe, this one's cute!" Derek told her with a chuckle as he took in the image. Meredith was going through another box and came back over to look at what he was talking about.

"Yeah, I guess I forgot about this album. They didn't take many pictures, but when they did it was always my dad. Once he left, they stopped. Ellis didn't care. There's a lot from when I was a baby." She told him as he turned another page.

"Now this one needs to be framed." He told her with a full hearted laugh.

She looked over at the picture he was admiring with a loving twinkle in his eye and saw that it was a picture of her when she was a baby in the bath tub.

"No, it's not. It's embarrassing and needs to be thrown out." She said trying to steal it away from him.

"Oh no you don't. This is the first time I've gotten to see a look in your past life, and I am not letting you take this away from me. Look at your cute little butt!" he told her with a laugh.

"Stop teasing, or you won't see this butt naked ever again." She told him with a serious tone.

"You're kidding, and you forgot to say cute little butt." Derek told her leaning in to place a kiss on her lips. She turned away before he could kiss her to make him think she was mad at him.

"Mer, are you seriously mad?" he asked her.

"No, I guess not. But when we go visit your family, I get to look at all your embarrassing baby pictures." She told him without thinking. She kissed him lightly and noticed he hadn't moved.

"What Derek? What's wrong?" she asked.

"No…nothing. Just, you said when we go visit my family. You want to visit my family?" he asked her surprised.

"Well, I thought maybe you'd want to since I thought we were so serious. But if not, then that's fine. I get it. I mean I'm not really the meet-the-family type and mothers tend to not like me. So I totally understand. I thought we could go around the holidays whenever we get time off, but if you don't want me to go, you can go by yourself and I'll just stay here and hang out with Doc or something…"

"Meredith, Meredith. Stop rambling. I want you to meet my family. And you are not staying here alone with Doc for the holidays. We'll go see my family and you can meet them and I'm positive my mom will love to share memories with you and bring out my embarrassing baby pictures." He assured her with a heart warming smile and then placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"You do?" she asked surprised.

"I do, I don't want to be away from you at all. I was just surprised you brought up meeting my family, I was going to ask you I just didn't know how." He told her.

"Ok, well now you know." She said with a smile.

"Now I know." He said.

They finished looking at the few photos there were of Meredith and moved on to other boxes. Meredith went through her school stuff they had saved for some reason and found her Anatomy Jane doll.

"Anatomy Jane!" she exclaimed from the couch she was sitting on.

"What?" he asked confused.

"It's the doll I used to play with all the time when I was younger. I renamed every part and I remember people would get annoyed of me playing with her all the time. When kids were playing with Barbie's I was playing with her." Meredith said as she opened up the doll and looked at all the body parts inside her.

"I bet that was cute. A cute little Mer walking around with her Anatomy Jane." He said with a chuckle. He was loving going through all these things with Meredith and learning more things about her.

"Probably more annoying then cute, but whatever. Our little girls can play with Barbie's." Meredith told him.

"Or Anatomy Jane, we'll let them decide." He told her with a warming smile. He loved hearing her talk about the future so easily.

"That sounds good," Meredith said turning to another box.

Derek turned to the box in front of him and pealed off the tape and opened the folds to discover tons of leather journals piled in the box.

"Mer, you might want to come see this one." He told her looking up at her.

"What? Is it more embarrassing pictures? Or hats?" she asked with a smile.

"No, it's journals." He told her as she came near.

Meredith looked down and picked up some journals then looked back at Derek with some in her hand. There were tons of them. Her mother had kept journals her whole life.

"What do I do with them?" she asked unsure of what to do.

"What do you want to do with them?" he asked. He couldn't answer this for her. It was up to her.

"I don't know. I guess I'll just leave them here for now and think about it." she said trying to forget about them.

"Are you ok?" he asked her turning to embrace her. She turned away from him and went to another box.

"I'm fine." She said shortly.

He hated those words. She said them when he knew she really wasn't fine.

"Meredith, talk to me." He told her, moving over to her and wrapping his arms around her.

"No, Derek. I'm fine. Let's just forget about them." And just like that she had put a wall up again. He had loved where they were at lately. She was back to trusting him and with that came her talking freely about their life together in the future.

"Meredith, please don't shut me out." He told her in a whisper.

"This isn't about you, Derek." She told him. "It's not always about you."

"Meredith, you were doing so well with talking to me and opening up. We've been talking about our future and moving on." He told her.

"That doesn't change my past Derek. These boxes are all my past! Every single one has something in them that reminds me of my childhood, and in case you've forgotten, my childhood was horrible! And those journals tell me exactly everything my mother hated, including me. So leave me alone Derek!" Meredith yelled at him and left him shocked standing in the living room.

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**Well, that ended differently then I thought it would. It's also short. Oh well, it works. Tell me what you think I would love to hear from you. I thought I'd update again since I had no homework. I don't know when I'll update again. Definitely not tomorrow because I have a game called Big Ball that I am in. heheh, but I'll try before the weekend.**

**REVIEW PLEASE!!! **


	21. Admitting the Truth

**Wow!! Again, you guys are amazing!! Thank you for not totally giving up on me! I didn't expect so many people to say so many nice things. I love writing this story and I love hearing from you guys. I know it kinda seemed crazy for Mer to just shut him out, but if you think of how Mer is it makes sense. Yes, I love writing her being open and talking but the old Meredith has to come out sometimes. ******** So, thanks for hanging in there.**

**I'm sorry I didn't' update sooner. Friday was my high school's Homecoming football game and we won, then Saturday was the dance. I'm totally exhausted today, but since I'm just sitting around I thought I'd write.**

**Here you go!!**

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Derek cursed himself. He knew Meredith, or at least he was learning her more now. But he knew that she wasn't so open all the time. He should have realized that this was all hard for her. She was practically digging up her past with each new box, and she had tried her hardest to burry it. But, he lost sight of all that when she started saying wonderful things about their kids, and meeting his family.

She had made so many steps forward, but with one box, ending up ten steps back. He needed to find her, and make things right.

"Meredith," he called out in their bedroom. It had become theirs not hers so long ago, but now he felt misplaced in the room.

"Mer," he called again as he opened the bathroom door.

He looked in and noticed her sitting in the bath tub, but with no bubbles. She loved bubble baths.

"Mer, there you are." He said softly as he moved closer and sat on the cold floor next to the tub.

"Go away," she said. He noticed there was no pain, hurt, or anger in her voice. It sounded more like she was tired. Tired of telling him to leave her alone, tired of being left alone and tired of things coming up out of no where and hurting her.

He sighed. He loved her, with all his heart, no doubt in mind. He hated that she had been left by her father, that her mother never cared, and that she had a crappy childhood. It all sucked. He felt the water with his hand and noticed it wasn't warm or cold but that uncomfortable temperature in between. He leaned down, not caring about getting wet, and picked her up.

She shrieked at the sudden movement, "Derek, put me down!" she yelled as she struggled to get out of his arms.

He ignored her and carried her to their bed. He placed her on the bed then went to the closet and grabbed her favorite shirt of his, his Columbia one. He placed it over her head then pulled a pair of sweat pants on her.

"Derek, what are you doing?" she asked him as he dressed her.

"Taking care of you, the water was getting cold and I wasn't going to let you stay in there." He told her as he finished dressing her and moved next to her on the bed.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she played with the end of her shirt, avoiding eye contact with him.

"You don't have to thank me, I love you. I'm not going anywhere and I plan on taking care of you forever." He told her sweetly. Hearing that, she felt tears well up in her eyes. She didn't deserve him. She had been a total bitch to him not thirty minutes ago, and he was still willing to love and take care of her.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"Are you crying Mer?" he asked her.

"No," she lied as she wiped her eyes.

"Mer, why are crying?" he asked concerned.

"Because, I was a total bitch to you and now you're being all nice and McDreamy. You're being my knight in shining whatever…" she told him.

He tried not to laugh; he also tried to hide the smile that came on his face.

"Knight in shining whatever?" he asked amused.

"You're mocking me?" she asked surprised as she turned to him.

"No, I've just never heard that term before, it's cute." He told her lovingly.

"Whatever. Anyway, you are being so loving and sweet, and I was a total bitch, Derek. I pushed you away." She admitted.

"Yes, you did Mer. But that's ok. I get it. You needed space. You don't want to talk about it yet, but when you do I will be here." He told her as he pulled her near him.

"Thank you, I do love you." She told him.

"Oh Mer, I love you too. So much." He said as he placed a kiss on her top of her head.

They lay there in a comfortable silence holding onto each other as they thought of what had happened in the past hour.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Derek asked. He was used to being the one to start it each time.

"I guess…I just can't read those journals." She told him.

"Why? What do you think is in there?" he asked her gently.

"Well, I know she had an affair with the chief, so I'm sure that is in there. I really don't want to read about that. I don't want to read about all the problems she had with my dad, or how much she hated me." She told him.

"Mer, she could've hated you." He told her.

"She did Derek; I was an inconvenience to her. I was the reason things didn't work for her and the Chief, or so she thought." She told him.

"Why do you think that?" he asked her.

"Because Derek, she tried to kill herself after he left her!" she said angrily. She didn't mean to snap at him, or blurt that news out, but it just happened.

"What?" Derek asked shocked.

"Never mind Derek," she told him as she tried to get out of his arms. He held her tighter, refusing to let her go.

"No, you are not putting up another wall. This obviously bugs you Meredith, tell me what's wrong. Tell me what you think is in those journals." He told her.

"Well…when I was five…I remember her taking me to a carnival. I was on the merry-go-round when Richard was telling my mom the news. She broke down and cried while I kept going on the ride. Finally, she got me off the ride and took me home. She sat me on the kitchen counter and pulled out a scalpel she brought home from work and cut her wrist. She told me not to tell anyone or call for an ambulance. I waited until she passed out and reached for the phone to call 911. The whole kitchen floor was covered with blood. Once they came they took her and I was left to figure out why she would do that. It seemed like she wanted to die, like she wanted to leave me all alone. Because, if she died, I would've been alone. I had no one then." She told him sadly, crying at the end.

"Mer, shh, it's ok. I'm so sorry she put you through that…that she made you…watch her do that to herself. She shouldn't have done that. She wasn't a good mom, Mer. You deserved so much better. I'm so sorry you missed out on that. God, I love you Mer." He told her with tears of his own. Ellis should've never done that to Meredith. Never. No little girl should see that. "She shouldn't have taken the break up out on you." He told her.

"She wanted to die Derek," she told him in a sob.

"No, she didn't Meredith. You said she cut her wrist. That wouldn't have killed her, she knew that too." He told her as he continued to rock her body in relaxing way.

"She shouldn't have done that Derek, I was so young. I could never imagine doing that to one of our kids." She told him.

"You're right, Meredith. She shouldn't have done that. It was horrible. Is that why you won't read the journals?" he asked.

"Yes, I don't want to know what she did then. I don't care. It won't change anything. She still ruined my childhood, she was still a dead beat parent and those journals won't change that. There's nothing left for me in them." she told him.

"So, what do you want done with them? Put them in the attic?" he asked.

"I don't know. Do you think if I were to give them to her to read she would remember things?" she asked.

"I don't know Mer, her disease is different." He told her.

"Should I give them the Chief?" she asked.

"Why would you do that?" he asked her confused.

"I think he misses her, and what they were. I think if he reads them he'll feel a connection to her again. It could make him happy. I know if something happened between us and you had written down our life together I would read it every day." She told him honestly.

"You would?" he asked.

"Yeah, it would make me feel good. To remember what we had." She told him.

"Ok, but that will never happen. I'm _never_ leaving you." He told her.

"I know, I do. But I think I want to give them to him." She told him.

"Ok, we'll just tape them back up and give them to him tomorrow at work." He told her.

"Ok, thank you Derek. I love you." She told him lovingly as she looked up at him with love shining in her eyes.

"You don't have to thank me, but you're welcome. I would do anything for you Meredith. Thank you for telling me what was bugging you." He told her.

"It helped. It definitely helped. I'm glad you didn't back down. Your annoying, hovering habit paid off." She said with a smile.

Happy to see her smiling again, he placed a kiss on her lips and pulled her close. "I love you Meredith." He told her softly and lovingly as he pulled back from the kiss.

"I love you too, with all my heart." She told him with a smile, satisfied with her own cheesy line.

They were going to make it. If they could talk through that, they could talk through anything life threw them.

**I know it is short, but I'm really tired from the weekend. I will update again this week as long as I get tons of love from you guys. I know this chapter was a little boring, but I am hopefully going to get more exciting ones up. I don't know what I want to happen next. I gotta plan it all out. **

**So, I don't know when this chapter will be coming, but the Ferry Accident one should be coming soon. I have thought about it a little, but I am curious as to see what you guys would like to happen. I don't think I want her to let go and let herself die because that is not the Meredith I am writing, lol. I have heard and considered what some of you have said and am still thinking about it, I just thought I'd open it up to all of you.**

**Let me know and please review!! :)**

**Melissa **


	22. Doc Gets a Doctor

**Thank you thank you thank you!! You guys are amazing for the wonderful feedback you gave me!! I love it!! I'm so glad you guys enjoyed my last chapter. Hopefully, you like this one too!**

**Here it is…enjoy!**

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Meredith woke up in the comfort of Derek's arms. His warmth and coziness was radiating and she loved the feeling of his arm wrapped protectively around her waist. Normally, Doc was curled up at the end of the bed, rested against one of their legs, but this morning she felt coldness against her foot.

She heard the sound of someone or something gagging. She lifted her head to look at the side of the bed and saw Doc getting sick. She jumped up immediately, not worrying about waking Derek, and ran to his side.

"Doc, baby boy what's wrong?" she didn't know what to do as she leaned down towards the dog.

He finished hacking up whatever it was in his throat and looked up at her with a pitiful look.

"Derek," she said going to his side of the bed. He didn't stir. "Derek!" She said louder.

"What Mer, what are you doing up?" he asked his eyes closed. He reached his arms out blindly and pulled her onto the bed.

"No, Derek! Something is wrong with Doc!" she said loudly, trying to get his attention.

"He's a dog Mer, I'm sure he's fine." He mumbled into her neck.

"No, he just threw up!" she said trying to push out of his arms.

"He probably just ate something bad." He told her.

"Then you can clean it up." She said stubbornly and moved out of his arms.

"Come back. Morning sex." He mumbled into the pillow, hating the coldness that hit his body at the loss of her body heat.

"No way! Get your ass up! Our dog is sick!" she yelled.

"Fine, I'm up." He told her getting out of the bed and going around to her side to look at Doc. The shaggy dog stared up at him with a sad look and Derek's heart went out to him.

"Do you think something's wrong with him?" she asked Derek.

"Maybe, we could monitor him for a couple hours and then see how he is." Derek told her bending down to pet Doc.

"That sounds good. I'm going to go take a shower, clean that up for me please?" she asked sweetly moving towards the joining bathroom.

"What? Why do I get stuck cleaning it up?" he asked her.

"Is that how you're going to act when I ask you to change our kids' diapers?" she asked him.

Damn it, she had him.

"No, but after I'm done I'm joining you in that shower and we are having shower sex." He told her with a smirk.

"Uh, fine." She sighed with a teasing smile on her face as she walked to the bathroom.

The rest of their morning off was filled with them enjoying some shower sex, breakfast and some cozy time on the couch. It was nearing noon when they heard Doc jump down and start to gag once again. Meredith looked over at Derek worried.

"We should take him to the vet I guess." Derek said with a sigh. He didn't want Doc to be sick.

"Ok, I'll go get his leash." Meredith said sadly as she got up from the couch.

They hooked the leash onto Doc's collar and exited the house and made their way to the car. Once doc was placed securely in the trunk of Derek's SUV in a cage they settled into the car and moved across town to the local vet.

Derek got Doc out from the back of the car and followed Meredith into the vet's office.

"Hi, we don't have an appointment but our dog woke up sick today. He's thrown up a couple times and we're really worried about him. Could you maybe fit him in?" Meredith asked nervous.

"Sure, just fill out this sheet with his information and the doctor will be out to see you as soon as possible.

"Thank you," Meredith said taking the clip board and sitting down in a chair next to Derek.

After filling out the appropriate information needed she handed it back to the secretary. She sat back down with Derek's hand placed in hers. He gently squeezed it every couple minutes to assure her everything would be fine.

She loved Doc. He was the best dog and only dog she had ever had. She didn't want him to be sick or die. She couldn't stand that. This was also the first form of kid Derek and she had. In a way he was like a kid. They took care of him, loved him, and they had raised him to be a good dog, together. He couldn't die.

"Doc Shepard." They heard a man say. They looked up at the man who called them and stood up to walk over to him with Doc following behind slowly.

"Hi, why don't you guys' come on back." The man told them leading them to the nearest room.

They walked in and Derek raised Doc onto the metal table. He then took a seat next to Meredith.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Finn Dandridge. You can just call me Finn." The doctor told them. He shook each of their hands, but lingered with Meredith's. Derek didn't like that.

"Hi, I'm Meredith." Meredith told him politely. The man continued to stare at her with a smile.

"And I'm Dr. Derek Shepard," Derek piped in, causing the man to look at Derek as he placed a loving arm over Meredith's shoulder to 'mark his territory' so to speak.

"Nice to meet you guys, so what's going on with Doc here?" he asked turning back to Meredith.

"Well, I woke up this morning…" she started.

"He's been throwing up this morning and afternoon; we don't know what's wrong with him." Derek interrupted Meredith to get the man to stop staring at his girlfriend.

"Ok, well do you know if he ate anything out of the blue?" he asked them.

"No, we fed him last night…" Meredith started again.

"He ate his dog food last night, but since then nothing." Derek interrupted once again. He really didn't like this guy already. Meredith rolled her eyes and gave him a look telling him to back off, he didn't get the look.

"Ok, well I'd like to observe him over night. Maybe pump out his stomach and see where we stand later. You guys can come back in tomorrow, or one of you." He said turning to Meredith, which Derek saw.

"You really need to keep him over night?" Derek asked in disbelief.

"If you want him to feel better, yes." Finn told them.

"We do," Meredith added before Derek could say a smart comment.

"Ok, so you'll come in tomorrow to pick him up?" Finn asked, again only looking at Meredith.

"Yeah, we'll both come in, together. We'll have to get away from the hospital for a little bit, since we're doctors. But we'll be here." Derek told him harshly. He really hated this guy.

Meredith rolled her eyes and moved to the metal table Doc was lying on. "Bye Doc, feel better. I love you." She whispered into his fluffy ears. Doc looked at her sweetly and she had to turn away before she teared up.

Derek moved to the table and rested his hand over hers' and placed a soft kiss on top of Doc's head, whispering his wishes as well.

"Thank you," Meredith told Finn as they turned away from Doc. Finn smiled at her and shook her hand.

"You're welcome, I'll see you tomorrow." Finn told her.

"Yeah, we'll see you. Bye." Derek said rudely grabbing Meredith's hand and leading her out of the room.

They walked out to the car in silence, Derek still holding her hand firmly and opened her door for her, like usual. He made it to his side of the car and slipped into his seat.

"Mer, I know you're scared for Doc, but he's going to be fine." Derek told her as he snapped on his seat belt.

"I know that Derek," she snapped.

"Then why are you so upset?" he asked her curious.

"Because, you completely embarrassed me in there!" She yelled at him.

"What? How?" he asked her.

"You interrupted me every chance you got, which made it look like I couldn't get a sentence out. You continuously found a way to put a hand on me so he would know I was yours, I mean Derek come on, stop acting all cave man." Meredith told him angrily

"I didn't do any of that." Derek told her defensively.

"That's bull shit, Derek." She told him, folding her arms across her chest in anger.

"Fine, but Meredith, he was looking at you." He told her.

"What the hell are you talking about? Yeah, he looked at me because our dog was his _patient_!" she told him annoyed.

"No, he was not looking at you in that way." Derek told her.

"Enlighten me, Derek, how was he looking at me?" she asked turning to him.

"Like…like he wanted to have sex with you on the examination table." He told her as he focused on the road. He turned down the street their house was and focused on pulling into the driveway.

"Oh…my…gosh! That is possibly the funniest thing I've heard!" Meredith let out as she laughed hard, "did you just hear yourself?" she asked.

"Yes, and I don't think it's funny." He told her upset.

"He was not looking at me that way Derek," she told him as she unbuckled.

"You didn't see it Meredith, but he was. I don't like him. He wanted you." Derek told her.

"You're unbelievable!" she told him as she opened her door and slammed it shut in annoyance. She couldn't believe Derek; he really thought that their vet had something for her.

"Are you seriously mad at me because I don't like our vet?" Derek asked her in anger as he followed her into the house.

"No, I'm pissed at you because you assume he has something for me. That you would think something would happen between him and I, he's a nice guy Derek and he's taking care of our dog!" she yelled at him.

"Do you have feelings for him Meredith?" he asked her upset. She looked into his eyes and saw that he was serious, but yet she still couldn't believe it.

"Seriously!? You think I like him, do you also think I'm going to go have sex with him Derek?" She asked angry.

"I don't know Meredith, do you want to?" He asked more out of anger then anything.

"I can't believe you!" she yelled at him as tears welled in his eyes. He was so freaking stupid if he thought that, he really was.

"You didn't answer my question!" he yelled as well.

"How bout this Derek, how bout you sleep on the couch tonight and think about it. I don't want to even look at your face right now." She told him holding back a sob as she ran up the stairs to their room.

She was hurt. Derek seriously thought she would cheat on him with some stupid vet. That was ridiculous. She thought they were past this stage. The stage where they doubted the others love or faithfulness. She was pissed. She stormed up the stairs and ran to the bathroom, turned the knob to the shower and tore off her clothes. She stepped into the hot water and cried as the water washed it away.

Derek had no idea what just happened. He hated their vet, he got a creepy feeling about him, but he knew Meredith had no feelings towards the guy. She loved him, he knew that. He also knew that he was an ass, but he still didn't know when to keep his stupid mouth shut. He ran his hands through his think curly hair and rested his head in his palms. He screwed up big time. He made it seem that he doubted Meredith's love and faithfulness, and he knew that was a horrible thing to do.

He kicked himself for hurting Meredith. He knew better than that, but yet he still stupidly did it. It was just something about that guy that got to him. The way he looked at his Meredith, the love of his life, ticked him off. He looked at her like she was a piece of meat waiting to be devoured. But she would only be devoured by Derek, no one else. He wouldn't let that happen.

He waited till he heard the shower turn off and gave her ten more minutes to get situated in bed before he climbed the stairs to their room.

He opened the room to see her lying on his side of the bed, curled up in a ball crying softly.

"Leave Derek," she told him angrily. She was still pissed.

He kicked himself harder for causing her pain.

"No, I want to apologize." He told her.

"That's great, now get out." She told him.

"No Meredith, we're going to talk about this. I'm not going to bed with us mad at each other." He told her softly.

"Then don't go to bed, but get out!" she said finally looking at him for the first time since she stormed out of the living room thirty minutes ago. Her eyes were blood shot and her eye lids were beginning to swell.

"Would you just listen to me, please." He pleaded.

"Fine, start talking." She told him making no move to sit up or look at him.

"I was wrong to have accused you of wanting to sleep with him. It's just that I don't like that guy Meredith. I don't like how he looks at you. I trust you enough to know that you won't do anything with him, I also know that you love me. That you want a future with me, and I am so thankful for that, I want that more then anything. But I saw how he was looking at you and I just flipped." He explained to her.

"You got jealous." She told him.

"I don't get jealous." He told her with a smirk.

"But you did tonight." She told him.

"Fine, I did tonight. I've never felt jealousy towards any other girl I've been with. Only you Mer, I'm just so scared of loosing you." He admitted.

"Derek, you have to believe that no one can take me away from you. I won't ever love anyone but you, I told you; you're it for me." She told him lovingly, letting go of her anger and sitting up in the bed.

"I know, and I believe you." He told her with a smile.

"Good, now what do you want to do about the vet?" she asked him.

"I think after tomorrow, we find another one." He told her. "I'd also like to beat the crap out of him." He added with a chuckle.

"Well I think we can do the first one, but I don't want you beating him up Derek." She told him.

"Fine, I can deal with that. I love you Mer," he told her moving closer to her and wrapping his arms around her waist as she placed her arms around his neck.

"I love you too," she told him placing a kiss on his lips. "You know what?" she asked him.

"What?" he asked curious.

"I think jealous Derek, is hot." She said with a giggle.

"Oh, you do, do you?" he asked her amused.

"I do, you know what that means?" she asked him with a twinkle in her eye.

"Hmmm, what?" he asked. He loved this woman; he could stare at her for hours and never get bored of the view.

"We get to have jealous and makeup sex." She told him with a smirk copying his formal one.

"Oh, definitely." He told her pulling her legs from under her and laying her down on the bed to cover her body with his shortly after as the sounds of her giggles echoed in the room.

Hopefully Doc would be better and they would never have to see Finn again, but then again if they did that meant Derek would get jealous, and Meredith couldn't help but think that jealous Derek, was hot.

**There it is!! I didn't re-read it so if there are any typos I apologize! There's jealous Derek though, he's so much fun to write!! I love it! He's so hot. ******** Hope you guys liked it! REVIEW!!!**

**Also, tell me if you think Doc should live or die. I'm unsure.**

**Thanks,**

**Melissa!**


	23. Special Treatment

**Thank you readers for reviewing and reading!! You guys are amazing!! Also, thank you for your input on rather or not Doc lives or dies. I will think about it and you guys can see what happens. Here is the next update!! Enjoy and send me your love!**

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It was another busy day in the hospital and Meredith was already tired. Doc was back to normal, or so it seemed, and Derek's jealousy had also calmed down. Now, Meredith couldn't wait till either lunch or her day to end, which ever came first. Considering how her day was going, she was unsure she'd even get a lunch time.

All morning she was busy doing rounds, then she got to scrub in on a surgery with Bailey, and now she was in the ER while also having the possibility of being paged to tend to another patient. She was tired. She also needed a break.

She started wondering what Cristina had been up to lately. They hadn't really had time to talk lately with them having separate days off, her being busy with Derek and Doc, and Cristina being busy with Burke and moving in with him. She was surprised when Cristina told her that she had moved in with Burke, but also kept her apartment. It didn't take Burke long to find out that she still had her apartment though. Meredith was happy for her person to be able to find someone; hopefully Cristina was just as happy as she was.

It was nearing lunch time and Meredith stood filling out a chart, hoping no one would demand her attention, or that her pager would go off. She finished by signing her name at the bottom of the chart and felt someone come up behind her.

"Hey beautiful," Derek said in a soft tone as he wrapped an arm around her waist and leaned in to smell her hair. He felt relaxed from the stressful morning instantly.

"Derek," she whined, "That was cheesy." She said with a smile, no matter how cheesy he was, the remarks always made a smile appear on her face.

"You love my cheesiness, you're smiling." He told her, he knew her so well.

"Sometimes, yes I do. So what's up?" she asked him. Her day was already improved.

"Well, I've had a very stressful morning and desperately needed to spend time with you so I could relax from the morning." He told her sweetly.

"You're a mind reader, because I needed this too." She told him.

"Do you want to do lunch? I have time, do you?" he asked her.

"I do, as long as I don't get paged. Have you seen Cristina?" she asked him.

"I think she's in surgery right now, why?" he asked her.

"Well, her and I haven't really spent much time together lately, so I was going to see if she wanted to go out tonight." Meredith informed him.

"I'm guessing no guys allowed?" he asked her.

"I'm sorry, but no. We need some time to talk, she's my person and I feel like I've neglected her lately. Are you ok with that?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I guess. I get it, you need time with your person." he told her understanding.

"You know, you could go out with Mark." She suggested.

"Ah ha! You're real reason comes out," he told her with a chuckle. "But we wouldn't be able to go to the same place as you."

"Well, no. But you could go somewhere for drinks, or you could invite him to our place and you guys can watch the Yankee game tonight, order some pizza, buy some beer. Bond, do manly things, it'll be fun for you guys." She told him.

"I don't know Meredith, how can I trust him?" he asked her.

"Because you have to know that nothing would happen between him and I, you trust me don't you?" she asked.

"Of course I do, I've never questioned it. I love you so much," he assured her.

"Ok, well then you need to talk to him and believe that he would never do anything to me, and we would never do that to you Derek. I love you," she told him.

"I love you too, thank you. I'll talk to him." Derek said letting out a sigh.

"Good, this will be good for you guys." She said giving him a smile.

"So where are you guys going to go?" he asked her.

"Hmmm, I don't know. But I'm not telling you anyway." She told him.

"What, why?" he asked.

"Because, if I tell you, you and Mark will show up 'coincidently' and I will be pissed at you if that happens." She told him.

"Fine," he told her with a sigh.

"Lunch?" she asked looking up at him after placing the chart where it belonged.

"Yes, my office?" he asked her.

"Definitely, some alone time would be nice and relaxing after this hectic day." She told him.

"Let's go then," he said ushering her with a loving hand placed on her lower back.

After they grabbed what meal they were hunger for from the cafeteria, they went into Derek's office. Derek took a seat next to Meredith on the couch and they sat in silence and enjoyed their meals.

"The chief wants me to meet with him later today." He told Meredith.

"Really? What about?" she asked curious after setting her empty food tray on the table in front of them.

"I think he wants me to go to New York for a meeting and try to get money for the hospital." He told her.

"Oh, that could be fun for you." She added.

"Not really, I've done it before. It's really boring, other then getting to see my family." He told her, trying to hint to her about meeting his family.

"Oh, well if you get to see your family then it should be exciting Derek." She told him.

"Yeah, well I was hoping maybe…this time…you could come with me." He told her, his last five words coming out in a rush.

"What?" she asked him confused.

"I wanted to know if you would come with me?" he said slower this time.

"Derek, I would, but I can't get the time off." She said.

Derek turned his body to fully face her, "Mer, I can talk to the chief about getting you some time off." He told her with a smile.

"Derek, that's not fair to the other interns. I can't be handed special treatment just because you want me to meet your family." She said.

"If you don't want to go Meredith, just tell me. Don't play the special treatment card." He told her harshly.

"Derek, don't get mad at me. You know that is not what I am doing. I've talked to you about meeting your family, so don't be an ass about this." She told him.

"So now I'm an ass? Because I want you to come with me to New York and meet my family? Whatever Meredith, I don't care anymore. I'll go by myself and give you space and you won't have to meet my family. You know there won't be a chance for you to meet them till the holidays, maybe not even then. The chief would understand about giving you time off, but you don't want to go." He told her letting his anger take over. He stood up and moved to his desk and began pacing.

"Did you maybe think, Derek that I just don't want to be looked at as the girl who only got in this program because of her mother, and is now riding on her boyfriends coattails? If I get time off and the others don't, people are going to think it's only because I'm sleeping with you. I don't need that!" she yelled, getting upset.

"That's not true, Meredith! This whole hospital knows we are in a relationship, they know you don't get special treatment." He told her.

"Wow Derek, if you honestly think I haven't been talked about, or given looks before because of our relationship, then you honestly don't know anything going on in this hospital." She informed him harshly.

"You don't think I get crap all the time about dating an intern?" he yelled harshly back.

"Then why don't you just give in and end things if they're that bad, Derek?" she said not thinking about what she just said. She was livid with him.

"Fine Meredith, if that's what you want, forget about meeting my family at all." He said sounding defeated.

"Fine, you know what, I'm going to go back to work. We'll talk later about this after I get home tonight." She told him with tears shining in her eyes as she turned away from him and slammed the door. She quickly made her way to the nearest on call room and paged her best friend.

Derek plopped down into the chair behind his desk in defeat. _What the hell just happened? _He thought to himself. That was _so_ not how he wanted that conversation to go. He had planned on asking her if she wanted to go with him to New York to meet his family, she was supposed to say yes. He hadn't factored in that she would have a harder time getting time off then he would. He hadn't asked the chief yet if she could go, but he thought it would all work out itself. Apparently not. He knew Meredith was right, she would have a hard time getting the time off, and if she did get time off, she would be spending the next several weeks working her ass off to gain back the time she lost.

He rested his head in his hands and pulled his hands through his hair. Where did they stand now? Did they break up? He couldn't bear that thought, he couldn't imagine them being over. He needed to know what happened, and he needed to make things better. He tried calling Meredith, but got no answer, he then tried paging her, that didn't work either. He finally sent one last page, but to someone he hadn't reached out to in a long time.

He heard a knock at his door, and called out to the other person to come in. The person walked in looking at his friend in confusion.

"What the hell happened to you?" Mark asked him taking in his broken appearance.

"I think I might've just broken up with Meredith," he said in a broken tone.

**OK, I know I left it with a big cliff hanger but I really didn't plan on that happening. I was going to post it as one update but it got so long so I had to divide it because it was like over 5000 words. So the good news is, I am posting two back to back. I know it seems like I am having them fight a lot, but they are still working everything out. Please send your love and leave me some reviews! ******


	24. Dull Eyes to Twinkle Eyes

**Sorry for leaving you guys hanging, here is the next part. This one is long so make sure you have time to read it. ******** Happy reading!**

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Meredith sat on the bed and placed her wet cheeks in her hands.

"Meredith," called her friend.

"Yeah," She answered with a soft cry.

"What the hell is wrong?" Cristina asked.

"I think…I think…Derek and I just broke up." Meredith answered her.

"What? Why?" Cristina asked.

"He…wanted me to meet his family. He's been asked to go to New York for the hospital for a weekend and wanted me to come with. He knows I want to meet his family, but I told him I wouldn't be able to get the time off, then we threw our relationship in the others face and now I have no idea what is going on. What am I supposed to do? I love him, but I don't think I can get the time off." She sobbed.

"Ok, you know what? We are not going to cry anymore. He should understand how demanding being an intern is. He should understand that we don't get time off easily. So, you and I are going to go out tonight. We are going to a club, and we are dancing all our boyfriend drama away for the night." Cristina told her person that looked broken.

"Ok," Meredith said quietly.

"Now, you need to go find some work to do, that isn't Neuro related, and then the rest of our shift will go by fast and we'll be off clubbing in no time!" Cristina assured her.

"Ok, thanks." Meredith said glumly and exited the room to find work to keep her mind off of Derek.

-----------------------------------------

"What the hell happened?" Mark asked Derek. Mark still couldn't get over the thought that his best friend had just called him to his office to talk. Ever since he had come out to Seattle, Derek had tried his best to ignore and avoid Mark, now he wanted to talk to him.

"It's just a big mess; I don't want to talk about it right now, or here. Do you want to come over later? We could watch the game, drink, I might be packing, and you can help me with that." Derek told him.

"Sure, but you aren't packing anything until you and Grey talk about whatever happened." Mark told his friend as he exited the office and returned to his patients.

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Meredith spent the rest of the day avoiding Derek and his calls and focused on work. She was placed on a case with Bailey again, and spent all her time focusing on it. Bailey knew something was wrong, but didn't ask. They finished their surgery and Meredith scrubbed out with Dr. Bailey.

"What did stupid McDreamy do now?" Bailey asked her as she grabbed soap.

"Nothing, I'm fine." She lied as she focused on scrubbing her hands.

"Don't pull that fine crap with me Grey; tell me what that man did now." Bailey ordered.

"He wants me to go with him to New York to meet his family. He's been asked to go for the hospital and asked me to go with him." Meredith told her.

"And?" she asked.

"I can't get time off for that. If I did, then everyone would know it's only because of my mom and Derek. They'll just keep thinking that I'm getting special treatment." Meredith told her mentor.

"Grey, if you honestly think that you haven't proven yourself in this hospital, then you need to open your eyes. No one thinks you are only here because of your mother, or Derek. You have proven yourself on many cases in this hospital. Don't let what they think get to you, it doesn't matter. If you want to go with him, talk to the chief, see if there is a way you can go and make up hours." Bailey told her.

"Thank you Dr. Bailey." Meredith told her as she took in what her teacher just told her. She dried her hands off and made her way to the locker room.

"Hey, ready to go?" Cristina asked her as she entered the locker room.

"Yeah, just let me change." Meredith told her in a gloomy tone.

"Ok, meet you out at my car?" Cristina asked her.

"Yeah, that'll be good." Meredith said as she opened her locker and took off her scrub top.

Meredith proceeded to get dressed and heard someone enter the locker room. "I thought I was meeting you out in your car?" she asked not turning around.

"I wish you were, but you're going out with Cristina instead." She heard Derek respond from behind her.

She turned around quickly in only her jeans and bra to see Derek standing there, looking as sad as she felt. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I needed to see you before you left the hospital." He told her.

"Derek, really I don't want to do this now. I don't know what to say to you and I just want to go out with Cristina and think for a little bit. I don't know where we stand right now, and that scares me." She told him.

"Meredith, you don't think I feel the same way? I've spent the day secluded up in my office wondering where we stood and what the hell happened in my office." He told her.

"Same here." She told him as she placed her shirt over her head, it felt awkward being half naked in front of him now for some reason.

"I was an idiot, I know that. I'm sorry Mer, I should've realized how demanding your job is right now. I remember being an intern, and I know it's not easy. I just really wanted you to come meet my family." Derek told her.

"I really want to meet your family too Derek, but you really hurt me today. I can't talk right now, I have to meet Cristina. But we'll talk when I get home. You should still have Mark over." She told him.

"Should I have him help me pack?" he asked her, looking down at the floor.

"What? Why the hell would you pack? Do you want to end this Derek and move out?" she asked tears springing in her eyes again.

"No, Meredith. I don't want that. But I don't know where the hell we stand anymore!" he told her confused.

"If I come home and you're stuff is packed, then I'll get the message. I don't want this to be over Derek. I want to talk to you about this, and we will talk about this, just right now I have Cristina waiting for me." She told him grabbing her bag from her locker and closing it shut.

"Ok," he told her.

She came up to him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, "I love you." She whispered softly to him.

"I love you too, please be careful tonight." He told her, no matter what kind of state their relationship was in he would always love her and wish for her to be safe.

"I will, we'll talk when I get home." She told him as she exited the locker room.

---------------------------------------------------

Meredith and Cristina had arrived at a local club in the Seattle City area and as they drank their preferred alcohol drinks they heard the pounding of the loud music.

"Did you invite Izzie?" Meredith yelled over the music. This definitely wasn't Joe's.

"Yeah, she said she was coming after her shift ended. She should be here at any minute." Cristina told her loudly over the music.

"Ok," Meredith said with a nod.

"Excuse me," they heard a male voice say to them, they both turned to look at the stranger and noticed two guys stood there looking at them with interest.

"Hi, we were wondering if you two girls' would be interested in dancing." The tall, blond haired guy asked Meredith as his friend who was a little shorter and had brown hair looked at Cristina.

"Sorry, I'm taken." Meredith told him; at least she thought she was still taken. She wanted to be taken.

"Oh, come on, it's just one dance." The guy persuaded her.

"I'm sorry, but no." Meredith said shaking her head and turning away from him, clearly telling him no.

Cristina told the other guy no as well and the two guys left quietly.

"I miss Joe's." Meredith told Cristina.

"Me too, but lets try to have fun." Cristina told her.

"Hey guys!" Izzie's bubbly voice called out.

"Hey Iz, we got you a drink." Meredith told her as she took a seat at the table.

"Thanks, so this place is crazy!" Izzie told them.

"Yeah, we know." Cristina told her as she sipped her own drink.

"Let's dance!" Izzie said excited.

The three girls got up off of the stools and made their way to the dance floor as the loud, upbeat music played and the rest of the people in the club danced to their own rhythm. The girls circle around each other and danced away the stress of the day.

Cristina danced away the stress of being in a relationship with Burke and feeling like he wanted her to change who she was.

Izzie danced away the stress of work and not being able to see Alex as much as she hoped.

And Meredith danced away the stress of living up to her mother's image, the stress of her fight with Derek, and the thought of not being with him anymore.

They were enjoying their time dancing together, and letting loose when the guys from earlier showed up again and tried to dance with them.

They shared a look with one another in a state of panic as to what to do and decided on trying to casually leave them on the dance floor, but the guys pulled them back.

"What's wrong girls? We're just trying to dance with you." The blond haired guy told them.

"No, we don't want to dance with you. We have boyfriends, we just came here for a good time, and you guys are ruining that. Leave us alone!" Meredith yelled at them.

"Fine, jeez, we just wanted to dance." The brown haired guy told them.

"Well, go dance somewhere else pretty boy." Cristina said annoyed.

The two guys scampered back to where they came from and Meredith looked to Izzie and Cristina. "You guys, I think I'm ready to go home and deal with Derek." She told them.

"Really? But it's early. You didn't even drink that much." Izzie told her.

"Yeah, I know. But I rather go home and work things out with Derek sober, then drunk." She told them.

"Wow, you really have changed." Cristina told her.

"Yeah, I have. But I think it's for the better. I'm not so dark and twisty." She told them.

"I proud of you Mer," Izzie told her and gave her friend a hug.

"Thanks Iz, I'll see you guys tomorrow at work." Meredith told them.

"You need a ride?" Cristina asked her.

"No, I'll catch a cab." She told them before saying goodbye for the last time and leaving.

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Derek arrived back home with Mark following behind in his own car.

They entered the house and as Derek went to grab the beer from the fridge, Mark took a seat on the couch and found the game on T.V. Derek also ordered a pizza while he was in the kitchen and returned to the living room and took a seat next to his somewhat friend.

They sat in silence as they watched the game, and added their angry yells to the team to break it every now and then. Finally, after two innings of watching the game in silence, Mark piped up.

"So, tell me what happened." Mark urged him.

"Well, the chief told me that I've been picked to go to New York next weekend for a meeting and to attend a social party and try to earn some funds for our hospital. I told him I would think about it and let him know my answer by tonight. I brought it up to Mer and asked her if she would go with me, this way she could meet my family. She told me about a month ago that she wanted meet them, so I thought it would be perfect. But when I brought it up to her, she said she didn't think she could get the time off, and she didn't want to be given special treatment. She also started saying stuff on how being her mother's daughter, and dating me caused a problem." Derek told Mark.

"Did she really say that dating you was a problem?" he asked.

"No, she said that she got talked about and people thought that since she was sleeping with me that she got special treatment and everyone thought the only reason she was succeeding in work was because of me and her mom." Derek said.

"Well, I've heard those rumors, but I also know that isn't true." Mark told him.

"People are really saying those things?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, so how did this turn into you guys possibly being broken up?" Mark asked.

"Well, I told her that I was also getting crap for dating an intern and she said maybe we shouldn't be dating then and I stupidly said fine. God, I keep screwing up." Derek told him.

"That does sound bad," Mark told him.

"So not helping Mark." Derek told him annoyed.

"Sorry, ok. So, you guys need to talk about it. One thing I've noticed is that you love her more then anything. I know you don't actually want to break up with her, right?" Mark asked.

"Of course not! I love her, she's the love of my life." Derek said.

"Then, you have to fight like hell to make sure you don't lose her. You need to try to understand things from her point of view." Mark told him.

"Since when did you understand things about relationships?" Derek asked him with a chuckle.

"I observe, but I could never settle down." Mark told him.

"Why not?" Derek asked, "Don't you want to have a lifetime with someone, start a family?" he asked.

"Well, I did once, with Addison." Mark told him.

"She just left?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, so now I'm taking it one nurse at a time." Mark said with a chuckle.

"Same old Mark." Derek said with a chuckle, this felt good hanging out with his friend.

"I've missed this." Mark told him.

"Me too, man." Derek agreed.

They watched the rest of the game and talked a little about random things and once the game ended, Mark left. Derek turned to the living room and collected the empty beer bottles and empty pizza box. After cleaning up the living room he looked at his watch, it was midnight. Meredith still wasn't home and he was starting to worry.

He laid down on the couch and tried to calm down. He tried to see if he could fall asleep, but he couldn't seem to relax. He got up and started to pace back and forth. Crazy thoughts had started to go through his mind. _What if someone had hurt her? What if she was in an accident? What if she decided to not come home? What if…what if she was with someone else? _

He knew the thoughts were crazy, but with it nearing almost one in the morning he was starting to worry more. Whenever they went to Joe's the latest they stayed was midnight, most of the time not even that late. They would end up rubbing up against each other too much at the bar and end up rushing home to have sex. Meredith was taking her time tonight.

Doc was laying on the couch watching Derek pace with his eyes and heard his owner arrive home. He hoped off the couch and made his way to the front door to greet her.

"Hey Doc," Meredith said in a monotone voice as she entered the house and hung up her coat.

"Where have you been?" Derek asked as she rushed into the foyer.

"Out with Izzie and Cristina. What is wrong with you? You knew I was out with them." Meredith told him as she moved out of the small area and made it into the living room.

"Yeah, I didn't think it would last that long though Meredith." Derek told her.

"What's the big deal?" she asked him annoyed.

"I thought you were hurt!" he told her.

"Well, I'm not. I'm fine and I'm home. Can we talk about earlier now?" she asked him.

She was right. She was fine, and she had returned home. He needed to calm down.

"I'm sorry, I just…I got worried something happened to you." Derek told her.

"It's ok," she told him looking at him lovingly. He loved her and didn't want her hurt in anyway, she understood that, or was starting to. "You didn't pack any of your stuff." Meredith observed looking around.

"Of course not, I'm not leaving." Derek told her.

"Good," She told him with a smile.

"So, we're talking." He told her.

"Yeah…" she said trailing off. "Are you still mad at me for earlier?" she asked him.

"No, I get it Mer. You can't get away as easy as I can from work. I get that you're going to have to make up tons of hours if we leave. I should have thought about all of that before, but all I could think of was how much fun it would be to take you home to meet my family. I didn't think of anything else. So, I'll go to New York by myself, and you can come with me next time." He told her.

"What?" she asked.

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted that." He told her.

"I did, but now I've been thinking, and Bailey said I could get time off if I asked Chief, so I want to go with you Derek, if you still want me to." She told him shyly.

"Of course I do Meredith." Derek told her with a happy smile. "Are you sure though?" he asked.

"Yes. I want to meet your family Derek, and this would be the best time. I don't want to wait till the holiday's because who even knows how much time I'll get off then. So if the chief lets me, I would love to come with you." Meredith told him with a smile.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me!" Derek told her with his signature smile.

"So it's next weekend?" she asked.

"Yeah, so we'll talk to the chief tomorrow about it and see what we can get set up." He told her.

"Ok, are we good?" she asked.

"No, I need to apologize for how I acted. I shouldn't have freaked out like that Mer, I just…I wasn't thinking rationally. I just assumed you were running from meeting my family. I love you so much, and I don't want to lose you. I don't care what anyone in that hospital says about our relationship because I love you. And our relationship has nothing to do with them. They don't know how much I love you." He told her moving closer to her.

"Good, because I don't care what any of them say either." She told him reaching her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "I love you, so much." She told him.

He smiled at hearing those words. No matter how many times she said it, he would never get bored of hearing it. "I love you too," he told her with a smile.

"Now are we good?" she asked.

"We are." He told her sealing it with a kiss.

"Did Mark come over?" she asked.

"He did, we talked. It was good, he also helped me see things from your point of view." Derek said with a smile.

"Wow, really?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah, I was surprised too," he said with a chuckle. "Did you have fun tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was good to go out with the girls, but I thought of you the whole time. And these two guys kept coming up to us asking if we would dance with them. We told them off though." Meredith said with a smile.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Put the caveman back Der, I told them I was happily in a serious relationship." She told him with the twinkle back in her eyes.

"Damn right you are, next time you and I are going clubbing." He told her.

"But you don't like to dance in public." She told him.

"Oh, I think I will that night." He told her with a smile.

She let out that giggle he loved so much and he placed his lips over hers and kissed her passionately.

"Make up sex?" She asked when they pulled away breathlessly.

"Oh, yes." Derek told her with a smile as he scooped her up and her giggle echoed off the ways on their way to their room.

They were working out their problems on the way and communicating. They were growing together, and next weekend they'd be heading to New York to see Derek's family.

**There you guys go!! They're back to being good. You can always count on that, I will never break them up. I hate when people do that. Hope you liked it, hope you don't the story. Let me know what you're thinking!!! Sorry if there are any mistakes, I didn't re-read it because it's so long. **

**REVIEW AND THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!**


	25. Grocery Shopping for the One You Love

**Hey guys!! I was going to try to update yesterday, but instead I wrote a cute one-shot. Lol! So, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I am at a loss of where I want to go with this right now. I know I want the major events to take place, but I don't know how soon I want to start adding them. Anyway, this chapter is when Meredith goes to meet Derek's family. I might split it up into different chapters; I guess we'll just see how it goes. Thanks for reading! HAPPY GREY'S DAY!!!**

It was Thursday afternoon the day before Derek and Meredith were to leave for New York. They had both gone in at five that morning and were ready to go home. Derek was getting off at five, but Meredith had to stay till ten that night. Since she was an intern and it was difficult for her to get time off, she had been working her ass off all week. Derek knew it was hard on her, but it was also hard on him.

He missed seeing her all the time and those little things they would do everyday. They couldn't drive in together anymore since they got off at different times, which meant they didn't get ready together. She had been so swamped with work that they didn't meet for lunch anymore either. They rarely worked on the same cases anymore, but that was because she got scheduled to other departments. He missed her. He couldn't even get a single elevator ride with her anymore.

It was almost five but he decided to check the OR board to see if Mer was in surgery. If she wasn't, she was probably hiding in the basement with Cristina or somewhere else doing charts or running labs. He looked up and saw that she was in a surgery that started two hours ago with Dr. Sloan. He figured the surgery would probably be over soon, and decided to make his way to the room.

He got there in time to see Mark and her standing side by side washing their hands in the scrub room. He pushed the door open and looked at them. "Hey, how'd the surgery go?" He asked. They turned around to see him and Meredith's eyes brightened, she had missed him too.

"Good, your girl friend here was a great help in there. She has a talent with Plastics." Mark told him with a smile.

"I bet she was a great help. She is in any OR, but I think she's best in Neuro." Derek said flashing Meredith a smile.

"Whatever Shep, you're just worried that she'll choose Plastics and leave you with loser interns." Mark said as he dried his hands.

"You're right Mark, but luckily I think it's known that she'll choose Neuro." Derek told him.

"Whatever you say McDreamy." Mark said with a smirk as he moved closer to Derek to exit the small room.

"Have a nice night McSteamy, don't make anymore of those nurses mad." Derek teased him as Mark left the room and they heard his chuckle down the hall.

Derek moved more into the room and closer to Meredith.

"How has your day been?" he asked her gently as he stood next to her.

"Busy, and crazy." She answered letting out a yawn.

"I'm sorry." He told her pulling her near him.

"It's ok, we get the weekend off. That'll be nice." She said wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Yes we do, are you still ok with meeting my family?" he asked.

"Of course." She told him, pushing her fear down into her stomach.

"Ok," he told her as he held her tighter. He had missed this simple act of affection the past couple days.

"We're staying in a hotel right?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, it'll be better that way since other people are staying at moms." Derek told her.

"This way we can have sex." Meredith told him with a smirk.

"We could've if we stayed at my mom's house." Derek told her.

"No, I would refuse that, Derek." She told him.

"What?" he asked.

"If we ever stay at your mom's we are not having sex while we are there. Sorry, but I will not have sex in your mother's house." She told him.

"But, how am I supposed to christian my bedroom?" he asked serious.

"Derek, are you serious? That room has had to have seen some action." She told him.

"Not much, and not with the love of my life. Come on Mer," he whined.

"You've got to be kidding me! Derek, I will not have sex with your mother or any other of your family in that house." She told him with a laugh.

"If they were gone then?" he asked.

"Uh, fine. Yes, if no one else were in that house, and it were just you and me, I would consider having sex with you in your childhood home you perv." She told him with a giggle.

"Awesome!" Derek cheered with a happy smile. He was always happy around her.

"I love you, Derek." She told him in a soft whisper.

"I love you too," he said softly as he placed a tender kiss on her lips.

They stood there like that resting against the other and basking in the warmth and comfort they had missed out on the past week.

"Uh, I have to go," Meredith said in a tired, dreadful voice as her pager beeped. "I'll see you at home? I have a couple more hours left here then I have to stop at the store and get some stuff to take tomorrow then pack." She told him.

"I'll stop by the store for you," Derek told her.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm off so I'll head there now and then you won't have to do it and I won't worry about you out late." He told her.

"Ok." She told him with a smile.

"What do you need?" he asked.

"Well, deodorant, shampoo, and conditioner; you can get those in travel size. Then I need tampons, and then condoms." She told him with a smile.

"Got it," he said cataloging it all in his brain.

"Get a lot of condoms, but please no more glow in the dark." She told him.

"I like that kind." He told her with a smile.

"Fine, get one pack. But mix it up a bit." She told him with a smile. She missed this.

"Fine." He said in a whiny tone sounding like a five year old.

"Don't complain, because I give you a reason to use those condoms." She told him with a teasing smile.

"That's true. I wouldn't want to use them with anyone else." He told her.

"That was cheesy and kinda weird." Meredith said with a giggle.

"It was, I'm tired." He told her with a smile.

"Ok, well get that stuff then you can go to bed. I'll be quiet coming in." she told him.

"No, I'll stay up and wait for you. Maybe get some stuff packed." He told her.

"You don't have to, but if you want go ahead." She told him.

"Ok, I love you." He told her placing a kiss on her lips.

"I love you too," she said returning the kiss.

They exited together and set off in their opposite directions.

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"So, you're really meeting his family this weekend?" Cristina asked as she bit into a yellow apple.

"Yeah, I am." Meredith told her, filling out her last chart for the evening.

"Are you nervous?" Cristina asked.

"Definitely." Meredith answered.

"Are you going to freak out?" Cristina asked.

"I'm trying not to, but it's just…I…I don't do well with families. My mother hated me when she remembered me, my dad left me…for…a perfect, shiny, better family. And I have no idea how to act around parents. Derek's mother sounds so…loving. That's foreign to me. I don't know how to act around her. And his sisters…how do I act around them? They're…they love Derek and they loved Addison…oh my god…what if they don't like me and want Derek to get back together with Addison? That would be…that would…I hate families." Meredith rambled as she stopped filling out her chart.

"It'll be fine." Izzie assured her.

"Maybe if it were you, I bet mother's love you. They hate me. I'm all dark and twisty and weird." Meredith said.

"No you aren't. Not so much anymore." George added.

"Yeah Mer, you haven't been that way since before Derek." Izzie supplied.

"It's true." Cristina added.

"I don't know. I'm freaking out now. He has like…tons of nieces and nephews. How am I supposed to remember everyone?" she asked freaking out.

"Oh no, it's a Meredith freak out." Alex said.

"I have to…I'm…just going to go home." Meredith said closing her chart and leaving the group.

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Derek walked into the local grocery store and added the things on the list that Meredith had asked for. He didn't mind buying her tampons. He knew she needed them and he loved her. He would get her anything she needed. He walked down the shampoo isle and looked to find Meredith's favorite kind in the small bottle. He couldn't find any in the lavender scent and decided on just buying it in the normal size. There was no way he was buying her a different scent. He moved to the next isle and picked up three different boxes of condoms with a smile and placed them in the basket he had.

He made his way to the check out and placed the items on the counter. The sales clerk scanned the items and shared a few glances at Derek. The kid was judging Derek, and Derek knew that.

"Wow, you must be really whipped." The teenage boy said behind the counter.

"What?" Derek asked confused.

"The girl, she must have you whipped. For buying her shampoo, conditioner and _tampons_. Dude, you're whipped." He told Derek.

"Well, I'm also buying condoms, which I'm sure you don't even get a chance to use. So I'd shut up and just finish scanning the items." Derek fired back. Normally he was polite to the workers, but he was tired and this kid was really annoying him.

"Whoa, dude. Chill." He said in a surfers tone as he bagged the items.

He told Derek the total and Derek placed the amount on the counter and grabbed his bag. "I love my girl friend. Maybe you'll understand someday." He told the kid before leaving.

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Meredith arrived home shortly after ten o'clock and after looking around the downstairs, she climbed the stairs and made her way to her and Derek's bedroom. She opened the door and saw him packing some of her shirts into a suitcase.

"Hey, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Packing, I thought I'd help you out since I had some extra time." He told her before she leaned over the bed and bag to place a kiss on his lips.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to do that." She told him.

"Yes I did, Meredith I'm so happy and grateful that you are coming with me to meet my family. You've had to work like crazy this past week and I just want you to know how much I appreciate all of this. So I don't mind getting you things from the store, or packing for you." He told her lovingly.

"Thank you." She told him with a grateful smile.

"You're welcome, also this way I get to decide what underwear you bring on the trip." He said with a smirk.

"Ah, so the truth comes out. Any trouble getting me the stuff from the store?" She asked.

"No. I couldn't find a small bottle of your shampoo or conditioner so I just got the original bottle." He told her.

"That will take up a lot of room, why didn't you just get a different kind?" she asked.

"Because, I can't imagine you having a different scent. You always smell like lavender, and I want that to stay the same." He told her.

"What are you going to use?" she asked.

"I'll use yours too." He told her.

"You won't mind smelling like me?" she asked.

"Not at all." He told her honestly with a loving smile.

"Ok, anything else?" She asked referring to the trip he made to the store.

"Nothing other then a stupid punk ass kid telling me I'm whipped for buying you tampons." He told her.

"Oh really? What did you say?" she asked amused.

"That I was also buying condoms, which he's probably never used before since he doesn't get any action." He answered.

"You did not?!" She said.

"Yeah, I did. He annoyed me Meredith." He told her.

"Derek!" She said with her giggle escaping her lips.

"Whatever, I don't care about him. I'm just so excited to have you meet me family Mer." He told her with a happy smile.

He was really happy. Meredith couldn't tell him how nervous or scared or paranoid she was about meeting his family, not when he looked so happy. She decided to not tell him how scared she was for tomorrow. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. That was the best way for her to avoid telling him something she had a hard time admitting.

**What do you think?? Next part will be updated later. I hope you guys liked it. **

**Also, watch the new episode tonight!!! And then when you leave me a review about my story you can tell me what you thought of the show!! (: **

**Thanks for reading!!! REVIEW!!!!**


	26. Airplane Freakouts

**Ok, I would just like to start by saying I wish I had my hands on the script for Grey's Anatomy. What the heck was that Thursday? I did not like it, but I did like that one of the Mercy West guys got fired. But seriously, no MERDER? WHAT THE HECK!!! I was mad to say the least. If I had the show, I would be writing a lot of cute scenes with them this season. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. **

**Ok, well now that I am done ranting about the show, here is MY Mer/Der stuff for you guys!! I will provide you with their fluffiness that Shonda left out, again STUPID! Ok here we go, they are on their way to meet his family. I also didn't know which names we knew of his family, so if some aren't right I apologize. Enjoy!**

**------------------------------------**

"Meredith," Derek said softly the next morning. "Mer," he repeated as he talked lightly into her ear. They had stayed up later then planned by love making and now he was trying to wake her up. He placed soft kisses on her naked shoulder and ran kisses up along her face to her hairline.

"Mmmmm," she let out in a sleepy tone. It was five in the morning. The time was nothing new to them; they always got up then or sometimes earlier, but the fact that they had the day off made it impossible for them to want to move.

"We have to get up." He told her lightly, not wanting to upset her.

"No, sleep. That's what I have to do." She responded.

Derek tried his hardest not to laugh at her child-like behavior. He felt like he could be trying to wake up their future daughter for school.

"Sorry Mer, I'll get a warm shower started for you then you can take a shower first while I make breakfast." He told her.

"No, I want to sleep." She answered stubbornly.

"We have to be at the airport in an hour and a half. We gotta get going." He told her.

"Stupid plane. Why is our flight so early?" She asked annoyed.

"Because your stupid boyfriend planned it." he answered her. The answer got a smile out of her and she turned in his arms and looked at her.

"My stupid brain man." She said with a smile.

"Your stupid brain man." He admitted.

"Why don't you join me in the shower, stupid brain man?" she asked with a giggle.

"I wouldn't miss out on that for the world." He told her honestly.

"Good, so you can carry me there." She said with another smile. She really didn't want to get up yet.

"Fine, lazy girl." He said with a cheesy smile that never disappeared around her. He picked her up and threw her naked body over his naked shoulder. She burst into a fit of giggles and slapped his ass playfully that caused him to add a jump in his step and rush to the bathroom.

He lightly placed her on the linoleum floor and her laughter subsided as she stood on her tip toes and placed a soft kiss on his nose in a teasing fashion.

"Tease," he told her with a smile. He pulled the handle to the shower to get it started, then pulled her near and placed a tender kiss on her lips. "Good Morning." He told her.

"Good morning." She told him with a smile.

They entered the shower wrapped in the others arms and began their long shower.

After breakfast Derek grabbed his bag and made a trip out to their car to place it in the trunk. He came back in and saw Mer with her luggage ready in her hands and her other bag over her head lying across her body.

"Mer let me get those." He told her as he came over and took the bag from her hand and went to reach for the one over her head.

"Derek, I can get it." She told him as he took her bags.

"No, I'm getting them. Go get your carry on bag, that's light." He told her.

"So are those, I'm not a dependent person." she told him in a huff.

"I know Mer, believe me, but I can take care of this stuff. You have to learn to let me do stuff for you. That's what I want to do." He told her honestly.

"Uh, fine. Thank you." She told him placing a light kiss on his lips.

"You're welcome," he told her with a smile as he made another trip to the car. They were growing as a couple.

They made sure everything was settled in the house before getting in the car. They double checked all the locks on the doors in the house, made sure the stove and oven weren't on, and made sure nothing else was wrong in the house. They had taken Doc to Izzie's and Alex's the night before for the weekend so then he wouldn't have to go to the kennel

They both got in the car and Derek drove them to the airport as Meredith drifted off to sleep accidentally.

"Mer," Derek said softly as he tried to wake her once again, she had been really tired lately.

"Yeah," She said softly coming out of her sleepy state.

"We're here." He told her with a smile.

"I fell asleep?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah Mer," he told her with teasing in his voice.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to stay up and keep you entertained while you were driving. I've just been really tired lately." She told him.

"Do you feel okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah, just really tired." She answered. "From work probably."

"Okay, well you can sleep some more on the plane." He told her. "Lets get our stuff."

"Ok," she said as she opened the door and climbed out.

She met him around at the trunk of the car and he handed her the carry on bag that was hers and took the rest of the bags.

"Derek, that is ridiculous. I can carry my own bag, it has wheels." She told him.

"No Mer, I got it. It's not that hard." He told her. He had the duffle bag they were sharing over his head and across his body, and the handle of their individual luggage in each hand and he was wheeling both of them.

"Stupid brain-macho-man." She said under her breath, but Derek heard.

"Brain-macho-man?" he asked by her new nickname.

"Yeah, it's a combination." She answered. He shook his head with a soft chuckle and led the way into the airport.

After they were checked in by security and waited in the waiting area for their plane, they finally boarded their plane and were seated ready to take off. They were seated next to each other with Meredith at the window seat. They were signaled to buckle their seat belts and did as instructed. They felt the plane begin to take off, and Meredith's hand clung to Derek's and she closed her eyes.

"Mer, are you ok?" he asked worried.

"Yeah, I just…don't like taking off or landing." She answered as she focused on breathing.

"It's fine, just breathe." He encouraged as he squeezed her hand in comfort.

They were finally flying at level and the seat belt sign went off. Meredith released her hold and turned her eyes upon him.

"Thank you," she told him sincerely.

"No problem," he told her honestly. "It's a six hour flight, why don't you sleep since you're still tired?" he asked her.

"You don't mind?" she asked.

"Not at all, I want you to be well rested." He told her.

"Thank you, I love you." She said softly as she laid her head on his shoulder and drifted to sleep.

"I love you too," he answered softly and placed a soft kiss on her head.

About thirty minutes after Meredith had fallen asleep one of the flight attendants came up to him.

"Sir would you like me to get your wife a pillow and blanket?" she asked.

Derek felt the happiness come from her calling Meredith his wife and smiled broadly at the thought. "I think she's fine without a pillow, but could you bring a blanket?" he asked.

"Sure thing." The lady answered before leaving his side. Derek loved having Meredith sleeping up against him, he felt safe and warm.

The flight attendant arrived with a blanket and he wrapped it around Meredith and himself and rested his head on hers and fell asleep smelling the scent of lavender.

--------------------------------

Meredith woke up and remembered where she was. She then registered where they were going and noticed they only had thirty minutes left of their flight. She began to panic at that thought because she had yet to memorize everyone's name that was in Derek's family. She looked over at him and noticed he was sleeping. She would feel bad if she woke him up, but she really needed to learn those names.

"Derek, Derek," She chanted softly as she shook his arm a little.

"Wh-what?" he asked as he woke up and looked around franticly.

"What's wrong Mer?" he asked her worried.

"I don't know their names, and the ones I do know I can't remember. I'm blanking out and freaking out. This isn't good. I shouldn't have come. You should have come alone and then I could've been in Seattle working and you could be spending time with your family alone." Meredith rambled.

"Meredith, it's ok. It's going to be fine; they're going to love you…"

"No, no they won't. Families don't love me. Mothers hate me and want to kill themselves when they are around me; fathers leave me because they hate me, siblings…god I don't even know how siblings are going to be around me. Families don't like me Derek, or love me. And your family definitely won't, not compared to Addison. Addison was a freakin model, and a famous surgeon…I'm…I'm just original…and plain…and I have split ends…and I'm a freakin intern! An intern. And they think I'm a slut…I'm a slutty intern. I'm no good…" she freaked out losing breath.

"Meredith, breathe." Derek told her to quiet her. "My family won't think about any of that stuff. My mom will love you, because you love me and I love you. And you make me happy, she doesn't care about age, or your past. My father passed away when I was five, but I know he would've loved you and been so happy for me to have you. He always wanted me to find a wonderful woman to marry and fall in love with. He wanted me to find the love of my life, and I have." He told her with tears glistening in his eyes. "And my sisters, they didn't like Addison. Nancy was the only one and that was because she set us up. But Kathleen, Jane, and Sarah all hated her. They tolerated her, but they knew she didn't make me happy. When they see how happy you make me, they're going to love you. Maybe your family or other families don't love you, but mine will and one day they'll be yours." He told her pulling her as close as he could and placed a kiss on her lips.

"And you are anything but original, or plain. You are gorgeous, breathtaking, stunning, beautiful inside and out and I love you. I love you more then I ever loved Addison. And I love your hair, even if it does have split ends, and the fact that you're an intern doesn't matter. The age doesn't matter either. What matters is I love you, and my family is going to love you because you make me so happy. And you are not slutty; you're sexy for me and only me. You're perfect for me." He told her honestly and she relaxed at his reassurance.

"Ok," she said with tears leaving her face.

"Are you ok?" he asked her as he wiped away the tears.

"Yeah, I just had a little freak out that I think was coming along for a week now." She admitted.

"Why didn't you talk to me earlier?" he asked.

"I don't know, you were just so happy. I didn't want to ruin that." She told him.

"You should have told me earlier, Mer." He told her.

"I know, I'm sorry." She told him. "Thank you for calming me down."

"Anytime, I was just telling you the truth." He told her.

"I know, thank you." She told him again.

He responded by kissing her sweetly.

"Names." Meredith told him.

"Right names." Derek said with a nod. "We'll start out with the easiest. My mom is Carolyn. My dad's name was Michael and they had five kids. Kathleen, who's a psychologist, was their first and she married Kevin. They have five kids, three girls; Madison, Samantha, and Grace, two boys; James and Aaron." He started and Meredith started to mentally remember.

"Next is Nancy, an OB/GYN, she's a bitch and the one who set me up with Addison, but I love her. She married Scott and they had two boys; Nathan and Justin. They stopped after two and don't want anymore, but Nancy is out numbered which she likes because then she has power." Derek told Meredith.

"Jane is next; she was born after me and is a Pediatric doctor. She married Matt and they have one boy; Jason and three girls; Morgan, Carrie, and Hannah. She's my favorite. We were born close together in age and we've always had a special bond. She's the one I talk to the most, and she knew more about Addison and me then my mom did." Derek said with a smile thinking of his favorite sister.

"Finally, we have the baby of the family; Sarah. She wasn't planned but she is one of the nicest and probably the most like my mom. She is a dentist, which is like a doctor, but she doesn't fit in with the rest of us like that. She married Brain and they have three girls; Katie, then Anna and Allie. Anna and Allie are twins, which isn't uncommon in the family. That's it. Those are my sisters and their kids. You don't have to memorize every single name, no one expects you to. In fact, all my brother-in-laws had a hard time with it, and that was a long time ago." Derek told her summing everything up.

"Wait, twins run in your family?" she asked shocked.

"Yeah, through generations." Derek told her honestly.

"We aren't having twins." She told him.

"Ok Mer, are you ok now?" he asked with a smile.

"Yeah, I think I can remember everyone. At least try. So you are all doctors? That's crazy." She told him.

"Of some kind, yeah. The Shepard name is well known and all who have the name end up being amazing doctors." He told her with a smile.

"I bet," Meredith told him curling back into his side. "How did we get a blanket?" she asked looking down at her lap.

"Oh, a flight attendant came over and asked if my wife needed a pillow and blanket." Derek told her honestly.

"What?" she asked shocked.

"Yeah, so I told her you just needed a blanket since you were resting your head on my shoulder." He told her.

"You didn't correct her?" she asked.

"No, I didn't want her to feel stupid and I liked the way it sounded." He told her, they could talk about this stuff now.

"Oh, ok. That's fine." Meredith answered, "You should've asked for a pillow so then I wasn't resting on you." She told him.

"I like you resting on me though, it's comfortable and it helped me sleep." He told her.

"Hmmm, I slept well too." She told him.

"Good, we're landing." He told her to warn her.

She grabbed his hand and buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you Meredith Grey," he told her.

"I love you too," she told him placing a kiss on his lips.

They would meet his family today and she would try her hardest to relax through out the day. They were getting better, and she was improving her dark and twistiness.

**There you go, they didn't get to meet his family yet, but that will be next chapter. If the names are messed up, let me know. I basically put in the ones I knew and then added some that I thought fit or some that I had heard in a lot of other stories. Let me know if any are wrong. I hope you guys like this chapter leave me a review and let me know what you thought!! Have a great week, I will update probably within the next couple days. (: Thanks for reading!!**


	27. Meeting the Shepherd's

**Thank you very much for the feedback!! I love it when you review and it makes my day!! I am replying to all of you in this message: You are amazing and I am so happy you guys are enjoying this story. It means the world to me for you guys to read this and actually like it!! To those who thought Mer is pregnant and that is why she is so tired, I kinda wanted to trick you guys into thinking that, but she's not. Not yet anyway, I promise this story is headed there. I can't wait to write their lives when they are a family. Any who, here is the next chapter. Meredith FINALLY gets to meet the family. Leave me some love!**

The plane landed and they exited the airport after grabbing their luggage and other bags they had. They went out to the parking garage and found the car Derek was renting for the weekend. Since he used to live in the area, he knew how to drive in the chaos. He entered the car and put it in drive as they left the parking garage.

As they made it onto the expressway towards the hotel they were staying at Derek glanced over at Meredith. "You ok?" he asked. She seemed more relaxed since her freak out, but he wanted her to stay that way.

"Yeah, just nervous. I want them to like me." She told him.

"They are going to love you." He assured her as he placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

"Ok," she said and took in the sights around her. "It's so beautiful."

"It is, but I think our land is more beautiful." He told her.

"Your land." She corrected.

"Our land, it will be our land. We are going to build our home there." He told her.

"I like that." She told him.

"Good, you can go back to sleep if you'd like. We're about a half hour away from the hotel." He told her.

"Ok, thank you." She told him and rested her head back on the headrest.

Thirty minutes later Derek pulled up to the hotel and opened the door for Meredith before waking her. "Mer," he said softly.

"I'm up," she told him with a smile. They entered the hotel as their car and luggage were taken care of and got their room information.

They entered the empty elevator and Derek pulled her near him. "We are known for our elevator moments." He told her seductively.

"What time are we meeting your family?" she asked him.

"Dinner, so we have about three hours. What do you want to do till then?" he asked suggestively.

"Hmmm, I can think of a few things." Meredith told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. He backed her up and rested her on the bed then covered his body with hers. For three more hours, Meredith would bask in the calmness of being with Derek.

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Three hours later and checking the mirror fifty times, on Meredith's part, the couple was ready to meet Derek's family.

"Mer, you look beautiful, stop worrying." He told her softly.

"I know, it's just…my appearance is the first thing they will judge me on." She told him walking away from the mirror and heading towards him.

"Well, then they'll be blown away that I'm with such a gorgeous woman." He told her with a smile.

"You're good at that." Meredith told him.

"At what?" he asked.

"Saying all the right things." Meredith told him as they exited the hotel and made their way to the rental car parked in the parking lot.

"I love you," Derek told her with a smile as he squeezed her hand lovingly.

"That line is a good line too," Meredith told him as she kissed him gently before he closed her door and made his way to the driver's side.

After Derek navigated away from the crowded city, he pulled into the familiar driveway that led him to his childhood home. As they passed the familiar trees that he and Mark would climb and the other trademark areas on the land, he pointed them out to Meredith and shared the memory with him. She let out her heart warming giggle that he loved so much and he stopped the car near the house.

"Ready?" he asked her.

"I guess." She told him with a small smile.

They exited the car and heard the screen door creak open as someone stepped out on the porch. Derek looked up and his eyes met the loving, brown eyes of his mother.

"Mom," Derek breathed out. It had been so long, too long, since he had last seen his mother. He missed her. He walked up the steps with his hand still placed in Meredith's, then dropped her hand as he wrapped his arms around the older lady.

Meredith stood off to the side watching the exchange of a loving hug between Derek and his mother. She never had that. She never had a mother who wrapped her arms around her and told her she loved her. She watched with a smile as the older woman smiled in pure happiness at her son's arrival.

"This must be Meredith," his mother said after she let her son go.

"Yes, mom this is Meredith Grey, the love of my life." Derek added with a smile.

"It's so nice to meet you, Meredith." Derek's mom told her as she came forward and wrapped her arms around the petite woman. Meredith was taken back by the action, but recovered quickly and returned the hug.

"It's nice to meet you too. I've heard so many wonderful things about you, Mrs. Shepherd." Meredith told her.

"Oh, please call me Carolyn. How bout you guys come in, the fall here isn't as warm as over there on the coast I bet." Carolyn said as she guided them up the steps and into the warm home.

Derek took Meredith's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Meredith entered the house with Derek and noticed right away how homey it was. Pictures of the family cluttered the walls and the feel of it was just…homey. There was no other way she could describe it, but she could picture Derek growing up there. She followed Derek into the kitchen and his mother returned to the cooking she had left behind to greet them.

"Wow, no one else is here yet?" Derek asked surprised.

"No, I told you to come sooner because I want to talk to you two before the others get here. I want to get to know Meredith." She told them as she mixed vegetables on the stove.

"Oh, ok." Derek said as Meredith gave him a terrified look. He smiled softly and gave her hand another reassuring squeeze.

"So Meredith, I've heard so much about you from my son, but tell me about yourself." She told Meredith with a warm smile.

"Uh, ok…well I grew up in Seattle for the first five years of my life, then the rest of my childhood I grew up in Boston. My mother was a surgeon and so she wasn't around much…umm I went to Dartmouth then started my internship at Seattle Grace. That's where I met Derek and here we are." Meredith rambled.

"Sounds interesting," she said softly as she concentrated on stirring the food. "Derek told me you're the best intern in the program." She said.

Meredith gave Derek a look he couldn't quite make out before she responded. "Well, that's not true; I mean there are many wonderful interns in my group." Meredith said.

"No there aren't. You are the best. You know about every case that comes through those doors." Derek said with a proud smile.

"Is that true?" his mother asked.

"Well, I mean I've studied them. I've read about them in my mother's books, her tapes, I had a lot of amazing resources none of the other interns had." Meredith told her.

"I bet your mom is proud." Carolyn said.

"Um…well…" Meredith said, unsure how to answer.

"Mom, what are you making? Anything I can help with?" Derek asked, jumping to the rescue.

"No dear, I've got it. Thank you though. You could go set the table in the other room though." She told him.

"Oh, ok. Mer, want to help?" He asked.

"Sure, I'll…"

"Derek, you are capable of doing it on your own. You have since you were eight." Carolyn told him in her 'mom' voice.

Derek threw Meredith an apologetic look and walked into the dining room with dishes in his arms.

"Meredith, I wanted to talk to you alone before everyone got here. I just wanted to tell you that from what I've heard from Derek and what I've seen in the last ten minutes you've been here, is that you make Derek happy. I've never seen him this happy before, not even with Addison. Those two, they never clicked. Not in the way you and him connect. I can see you guys are really in love, and I don't care about any of the other stuff. The age, the way you guys met…it doesn't matter, you guys are in love and make each other happy. That's all that matters." Carolyn told her sitting down at the table.

Meredith gave a sigh of relief and smiled at the older woman. "Thank you so much, I really needed to hear that." Meredith told her with a soft chuckle.

"I thought so," Carolyn said with small laugh as well. "You know, we can talk more later if you'd like. I would really like to get to know you better. Maybe lunch before you and Derek go home?" Carolyn asked.

"That sounds good." Meredith said with a smile.

"What sounds good?" Derek asked coming in and placing a soft kiss on Meredith's cheek. Carolyn smiled at the small gesture and felt happiness for her son.

"Your mom and I are going to have lunch before we leave, maybe at your meeting." Meredith told him.

"That's good, but you're going to the dinner with me, right?" Derek asked her.

"Yeah, I'll go with you. But before that your mom and I are going to meet for lunch and talk about all your embarrassing childhood stories. You have embarrassing pictures, right?" Meredith asked turning to his mom with a smile.

"Oh, of course! There are tons; I'm sure the girls have some too." Carolyn told her.

"Good, I can't wait to see pictures from your childhood. A little Derek." Meredith said with a smile and giggled when she saw his shocked facial expression.

"No, come on. No embarrassing me. I plan to keep her mom," Derek told his mother.

"Oh Derek, pictures aren't going to scare me away." Meredith told him.

"Nothing's supposed to scare you away." He told her.

"And nothing will, so let me see the pictures." She told him.

"Fine," he said in defeat and pretended to pout.

Meredith giggled at his foolish behavior and kissed away his pouting lip.

"Der bear!" came a voice from the kitchen entrance. Derek stood up and greeted the woman that had the same color hair as him and fierce blue eyes that shone as bright as Derek's.

"Kathleen!" Derek said with a smile as he greeted her in a hug.

Meredith stood and walked near them awkwardly, waiting for Derek to introduce her. "Kathleen, this is Meredith." He said with a bright smile.

Kathleen wasted no time in pulling Meredith in for a hug and embraced her, "It's so wonderful to meet you Meredith. I've heard so much about you, good things of course. Derek talks non stop about you when he actually finds time to call. You make him very happy." Kathleen told her with a smile.

"Oh, well he makes me very happy as well. It's nice to meet you too. Derek has also told me tons about you." Meredith told her.

"Good things I hope." Kathleen said.

"Of course," Derek told her as he pulled Meredith to his side.

"Uncle Derek! Uncle Derek!" Madison screamed with happiness as she ran into the kitchen.

"Hey Maddie!" Derek said trying to muster the same enthusiasm as the six year old and pulled her in his arms for a hug. "How are you?" he asked.

"I'm awesome!" She exclaimed. "Who is that?" she asked pointing to Meredith.

"This is Meredith," Derek told the six year old.

"Is she your girl friend?" she asked.

"Yes she is," Derek answered with a nod.

"Is she my aunt?" the six year old asked again.

"Not yet, soon." Derek said with a smile towards Meredith.

"Hi Maddie, I'm Meredith." Meredith told her as she got down to the six year olds level and held out her hand to shake.

"Hi," She said with a smile then wrapped her arms around Meredith in a hug. Meredith returned the hug shocked before the little girl ran off eager to see her Grandma. Meredith stood up and was embraced by Derek's arms around her.

"I love you," he told her with a loving smile.

"I love you too," She said softly.

The rest of the family arrived and Meredith met each of the sisters but Nancy. She had yet to arrive and Meredith was nervous for her greeting the most.

"Hey, sorry I'm late! Der bear!" Nancy screamed as she entered the house and pulled her brother into a hug.

"Nancy, this is Meredith." Derek told her pulling Meredith close.

"It's nice to meet you." Meredith told her, for some reason she didn't think she was going to get a friendly hug from this sister.

"So, this is the intern." Nancy said with a snotty voice.

"Nancy," Derek warned.

"No, Derek. Seriously! You choose her over Addison? What the hell?" Nancy said throwing a fit.

"Nancy!" Derek yelled.

"Derek!" She yelled back, "She's an INTERN! She's young! Maybe this is just a mid-life crisis. It's not too late for you and Addison!" she told him.

"Nancy! This is not a mid-life crisis. I don't love Addison anymore, I love Meredith. Meredith is the love of my life. I'm not just going through a phase, she is the love of my life and I plan on marrying her. If you aren't happy with that, then you don't have to have anything to do with us, but you will not be disrespectful to Meredith. It's way too late for Addison and I to work things out, she cheated on me with Mark. It was over way before that though. We weren't happy. I'm happy now Nancy, Meredith makes me happy." Derek told her keeping Meredith at his side with his arm around her waist. He knew if he let go, she'd run.

"I'm sorry," Nancy told him weakly.

"It's ok, but apologize to Meredith." Derek told her.

"Meredith, I really am sorry. You didn't deserve that. Addison was just my best friend in college and so…"

"You feel an obligation towards her, I get it." Meredith added.

"I do, but I will let it go and really get to know you," Nancy told her.

"Thank you," Meredith said softly.

"Alright, time to set all of that stuff aside and eat dinner!" Carolyn told her family.

Derek placed a soft kiss on Meredith's fore head and led her to the dining room where he pulled a seat out for her and sat down next to her. They began to pass around the dishes and all the sisters dished food out for their children.

"Meredith, I am so happy to finally get to meet you. I can't get over it," Jane told Meredith. Meredith could tell why she was Derek's favorite. She really was just like Derek. She liked the outdoors, she shared the same facial features as him and they seemed to have almost the same personality. Almost like they were twins, just a year apart.

"It's good to finally meet all of you," Meredith told them. "I've heard so much about all of you." Meredith told them.

"Want to hear some embarrassing stories about Derek?" Sarah asked from next to her husband and kids.

"Definitely." Meredith answered as she took a sip of her drink.

"Well, when we were little our parents took us to Disney World. It was our first time and he was about seven or eight. Mom had bought us princess dresses and tiara for us girls to wear to Magic Kingdom." Sarah started as Derek let out a groan. "Anyway, he was supposed to dress as Prince Charming, but he started crying when he saw that he was the only one dressed like that. He demanded to be dressed as Cinderella and wouldn't stop crying until my mom bought him his own dress and tiara. He wore it all day in the park." Sarah finished as the rest of the sisters and his mom laughed at the memory.

"God, why did you guys have to tell that story? Why couldn't you pick one from when Mark and I were just being boys? That one makes me seem like a sissy." Derek said as his face turned a bright crimson color.

"Because, that wouldn't have been as funny." Jane told him.

Meredith giggled at the story and even more at Derek's reaction. "It's ok Der bear. I still love you." Meredith teased.

"Oh God, please no more embarrassing stories." Derek requested.

"No, come on! I want to know more about your childhood." Meredith told him.

As another story started as Derek crossed his arms over his chest like a little boy defeated and sat back in his chair. He acted annoyed, but really he was smiling brightly inside as he watched his sisters bond with the love of his life. Her giggle was beautiful as she laughed at their stories, and she fit in so well with his sisters.

This was going to be a good weekend.

**There it is!! It is horrible compared to what I hoped. It was actually harder to write the family then what I thought. Sorry if there are spelling or grammar errors, I didn't have time to re-read it. I have some stuff planned for their weekend there, but I really still don't know what I'm going to do. I hope you guys kinda liked it? Maybe? Ok, well send me love or dislike! I love hearing from you guys!**

**Happy Grey's Day! (Since I probably wont update again tomorrow.) **

**Melissa**


	28. Making Memories of Us

**Hey guys! Glad you liked the last chapter of Mer meeting the family. Here's some more Shepherd family stuff. Enjoy!! Also, that episode Thursday was by far probably the BEST episode this season. I loved how they did it from Derek's point of view and the scene with Meredith was so cute!! It should that they really talk now and when I saw their POST IT!! I flipped. I was beaming I was so excited!! AH!! It made me so happy. Anyway, here's the chapter!! (:**

The family broke up into different groups after dinner was cleaned up. The kids were in the living room watching a Disney movie they could all agree on while they played with toys and the adults were seated around the dining room table talking and visiting as they enjoyed dessert and coffee.

Meredith was seated between Derek and his sister Jane. They were each sharing stories about Derek and his childhood and Meredith laughed along with them. Meredith had asked about his old pictures, but Derek refused to let his sisters have any commentary on those, he promised they would look through them alone at the hotel.

Meredith sat there listening to the sisters talk about something random and every now and then would add her own comment on the subject. She felt a small hand tapping her leg and looked down to see Hannah; Jane's youngest, looking up at her.

"Hi Hannah, what's up?" Meredith asked softly.

"Can you bwaid my hair?" the four year old asked with her mother's blue eyes shining up at her.

"Sure, how bout we go in the other room?" Meredith asked her.

"Yay!!" The little girl cheered, causing Derek to look over at the two.

"What's going on?" Derek asked.

"I'm going to go braid Hannah's hair." Meredith told him with a soft smile.

He smiled at hearing her say that, "Want me to come with you?" he asked.

"Do you have a hidden talent to braid hair?" she asked.

"No, but I can keep you company." He told her with a smile.

"No, I'm good. I'll bond, you should stay here and continue visiting with your sisters, they've missed you." She told him.

"Ok, let me know if you need me though." He told her.

"I will, but I think we'll be fine. Won't we Hannah banana?" Meredith asked turning her attention back to the little girl.

"Yeah!!" She cheered excitedly.

"Ok, let's go!" Meredith said standing up. Derek gave her hand a squeeze and pulled her closer to him before he reached his head up and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

Meredith exited the room and Derek watched her with a loving smile on his face.

"Derek, she's good for you." Kathleen told him as she watched her brother.

"Thanks, I think so too. She makes me so happy." Derek told the table.

"She's such a lovely woman, Derek. I'm so happy for you." Carolyn told her son.

"Thanks mom, she's been through a lot but she's such an incredible woman because of it." Derek told them.

"She's so nice," Jane added her comment.

"And funny," Sarah said.

"She is, and she has such a great personality." Derek agreed.

"Her personality is like yours." Nancy added speaking for the first time.

"That's why we're so good together." Derek said with a smile.

"You want to marry her." His mother stated.

"More then anything." He told her honestly.

The table of girls smiled at their brother happy, he had finally found the right girl to spend forever with.

---------------------------

Meredith sat Indian style on the living room floor with her back pressed against the couch with Hannah seated in front of her. Meredith had already braided one pig tail and was now working on the next.

Hannah was going into detail as she explained the Disney movie _Little Mermaid _to Meredith.

"And then the Wittle Mermaid finds Eric and they live happily ever after," Hannah said excitedly as she finished her story.

"Wow, that's really cool. I'm glad they live happily ever after." Meredith told the four year old as she finished twisting her brown hair in a braid.

"You and Uncle Derek are gonna live happily ever after too, right?" the little girl asked as she turned to look at Meredith.

"Yes we are," Meredith said with a smile.

"Yes we are what?" She heard Derek say as he entered the room.

"Hey, what are you doing in here?" Meredith asked him.

"Came to see you, why else?" he asked as he sat next to her.

"I just thought you'd want to spend the rest of the night visiting with your sisters." Meredith told him.

"I did, I wanted to see how the rug rats were." He said looking around at all the kids who were watching the movie.

"Hey, I notta rug rat." Hannah said as she looked at her Uncle.

"Oh, that's right. You're a princess!" Derek said with a smile as he reached forward and tickled her tummy.

"Yes I am! Aunt Mwedith said you guys gonna have a happy ending like Wittle Mermaid." Hannah told her uncle.

"She did?" Derek asked with a smile as he shared a loving look with Meredith.

"Yep!" The four year old said cheerfully.

"Well, I think so too." Derek said with a bigger smile.

"You guys silly!" Hannah said before she stood up and moved over near her other cousins to show them her hair.

"Apparently we're silly," Derek said as he pulled Meredith onto his lap.

"Apparently," She said with a tired sigh as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"You're so good with them." Derek said referring to his nieces and nephews.

"All I did was braid her hair, that hardly means I'll make a good mom to our children, Derek." She told him.

"You did more then that. You listened to her, talked to her, paid attention to her and made her day. All of those things will make you a wonderful mother to our children." Derek told her. He loved watching Meredith with his nieces and nephews. She was so good with them. She listened to everything they said with interest and the kids loved her. He fell even more in love with her, if that could even happen, just by watching her play with them.

"I hope so," Meredith told him.

"You will Mer," He said placing a soft kiss on top of her head. "My family loves you,"

"Really?" she said as she snapped her head up and looked at him hopefully.

"Really, they think you're perfect for me." Derek told her with a smile.

"I am so glad to hear that." Meredith said with relief.

"I thought you would be, I told you they would." Derek told her.

"I know, but I was so worried." Meredith told him.

"Mom knows I want to marry you, the girls think you're funny and smart and so nice. They know you make me happy, and they're so happy about that." Derek said with a smile.

"Even Nancy?" she asked.

"Even Nancy." He said.

"Good," she said resting further into his embrace.

"Aunt Mwedith, will you do my hair like Hannah's?" Anna asked as her other cousins, that were girls, stood behind her wanting to know the same thing.

"Sure, I'll do all of your girl's hair and show you how to do it so then you can do each other's hair." She told them with a smile. "Derek, you have to let go of me so I can do their hair." She told him with a smile.

"No I don't, you can do it sitting on my lap." He told her.

"Stubborn," She said with a huff and then let out a giggle as he tickled her side. She turned her attention to Anna and started to do her hair.

---------------------------------

"Mer, are you finally done playing beautician?" Derek asked as Meredith tied the rubber band on Sam's hair. She had finished all of the girl's hair and Derek was ready to take Meredith away from his family and enjoy the rest of the night with her.

"Yeah, finally." She said with a smile as the little girl gave her a hug then ran off to play with the others.

"Good, want to go for a drive with me?" He said her in a whisper.

"Where?" She asked curious.

"I want to show you around the town, and we'll just drive around and see all the fall colors changing in the trees." He told her as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"Ok, let's say bye to everyone." Meredith told him as she stood up. He stood up after her and placed his hand in hers.

"Bye kids, we're leaving for the night. We'll see you later though." Derek told the room filled with kids.

"No, Aunt Mwedith, I don't want you to weave," Hannah told her as she came up to her.

"I'm sorry Hannah, but Uncle Derek and I have to leave and go back to the hotel and go to sleep. We have to be up early tomorrow." Meredith told the four year old that had fallen in love with Meredith instantly.

"I see you tomorrow?" Hannah asked with hope shining in her eyes.

"Of course, I'll you tomorrow and we can play a game." Meredith told the little girl.

"Yay!" the little girl cheered before giving Meredith a hug and scampering off.

"Well, I guess she loves you more then me." Derek told Meredith.

"Oh, Derek, don't be jealous." Meredith said with a laugh.

"I wouldn't be jealous unless it was one of the boys." He told her.

Just then one Jane's only son who was around five years old came up to Meredith and Derek.

"Bye Aunt Meredith, you're really pretty." Jason told her with a smile.

"Well thank you Jason, you're quite handsome yourself. I'd say you're probably more handsome then your Uncle Derek." Meredith said with a giggle as she gave the little boy a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Hey!" Derek said once he heard what she said.

"Oh huh you, let's go." She told him grabbing his hand and leaving the room filled with kids.

They walked into the dining room and began their goodbyes.

"Goodbye Meredith, it was so nice to meet you. How bout tomorrow when Derek is at his meeting we can meet for lunch?" Carolyn asked Meredith as she hugged her.

"That sounds good, where do you want to meet?" she asked.

"Well, I'm guessing Derek has the rental car, so we can eat at the café just down the street from your hotel around noon?" Carolyn asked her.

"That sounds good." Meredith said with a nod.

"Great," Carolyn said as she gave her one last squeeze.

"Meredith, we're going shopping tomorrow in the city if you'd like to join us." Kathleen told her. "We're going to do some Christmas shopping," she added.

"Uh, yeah, that sounds fun." Meredith said giving Derek a genuine smile. She was willing to spend a whole day shopping with his sisters, he loved her.

"Ok, we'll meet you at the café after your lunch with mom and go shopping." Kathleen said with a smile.

"Sounds great, it'll be fun to hear stories about Derek." She said with a giggle.

"Wait, when do I get to spend time with my girlfriend tomorrow?" Derek asked.

"You get to spend everyday with her, Derek. We just met her and we want to spend time with her, let us." Jane said with a teasing smile.

"Fine, but I want her returned to me by dinner time." Derek said.

"Why?" Sarah asked.

"Because, she's going to the hospital dinner with me." Derek told her.

"That sounds boring," Sarah said.

"It is, that is why I need her there." Derek said.

"Fine, you can have her back by then." Sarah gave in.

"Good," Derek said.

"Bye Meredith, we'll see you tomorrow!" Kathleen said excited for the day.

"Bye, it was nice to meet you. I'll see you tomorrow." Meredith said returning Kathleen's hug.

She said her goodbyes to Derek's other sisters and Derek did the same before they headed out of the house and made it to the rental car sitting in the driveway.

"So, where are you taking me?" Meredith asked him.

"I don't know, we're just going to drive around the town and country roads enjoy the color change." Derek told her as he started the car and held her hand in the other.

"Sounds good and peaceful." Meredith told him.

"It does, maybe we should listen to some country music while we do it." Derek told her.

"Because we're driving in the country?" she asked with a giggle.

"Yeah, it'll be fun." He told her.

"Ok, go for it." Meredith said with a laugh as she rested in the seat and took in the view of trees with orange, yellow, and red leaves hanging from the branches.

Derek turned the radio on and an old country song from Allen Jackson came to an end as another song started. It was Keith Urban, and Derek turned it up louder. He never normally listened to country music but one night on his way home from work alone he turned it on and heard this song. Instantly, he thought of Meredith and it couldn't have been more perfect that it would start playing now.

"This song could be my song to you," Derek told her softly as he placed a kiss on the back of her hand.

Meredith listened to the words and smiled at the meaning Derek was getting across.

I'm gonna be here for you baby  
I'll be a man of my word  
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard  
I wanna sleep with you forever  
And I wanna die in your arms  
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I wanna honor your mother  
I wanna learn from your pa  
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw  
I wanna stand out in a crowd for you  
A man among men  
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

We'll follow the rainbow  
Wherever the four winds blow  
And there'll be a new day  
Comin' your way

I'm gonna be here for you from now on  
This you know somehow  
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now  
And I'm gonna make you a promise  
If there's life after this  
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us  
I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll win your trust making memories of us

Meredith turned her head towards Derek and gave him a heart warming smile. "I love you," she told him in a soft voice not wanting to disturb the quiet moment too much.

"I love you too," he told her.

They enjoyed the car ride in the country and then made their way to the city before it got too dark. They entered the hotel and made their way up to their room.

"I loved meeting your family tonight Derek," Meredith told him honestly as they lay in the comfy bed looking at the other.

"Good, I'm so happy you met them. They loved you so much, you fit in with my sisters like you belong there. You're so amazing Meredith," he told her as he leaned in and kissed her. "You know you don't have to go tomorrow if you don't want to."

"No, I want to, it will help me bond with them." she told him.

"Good, I'm glad they asked you. They didn't warm up to Addison as quickly as they have with you. She wasn't invited to go shopping for a long time." Derek told her.

"But it's a good thing, right?" she asked.

"Of course it is! You girls will have fun, I just want you back with me for the dinner and afterwards." Derek told her suggestively.

"Whatever could you mean Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith asked coyly.

"You know perfectly well what I mean Dr. Grey." Derek teased back as he leaned into her and kissed her passionately.

They spent the rest of their night locked away in their room enjoying the rest of the night alone.

**Hope you guys liked it!! I also hope those who celebrated Halloween had a great time! I love Keith Urban so I added his song in here because I wanted a song that could fit them. This song will reappear I think in another episode later on. Let me know what you thought of the chapter please!!**

**Also, could someone tell me how you find how many views/hits stories have gotten. I've written so many on here and never knew how to find that out. Let me know please! ******

**Enjoy the upcoming week! I'll probably have another chapter out either Wednesday or Thursday! **

**Melissa**


	29. Lunch, Shopping and Getting Ready

**Thanks to those who reviewed! I appreciate it! (: Sorry for not updating sooner, I got really sick the past couple of days so I didn't feel like doing anything but staying in bed resting. Sorry! Here's another chapter…**

Meredith felt Derek's rough stubble tickle her neck the next morning as she lay wrapped up in blankets that covered her naked body. Derek and she were taking advantage of having a hotel room and not staying in his mother's house. She felt his arms around her body as he pulled her close and continued to nuzzle her neck.

"Mer," Derek said softly.

"What? Why are we up so early?" She asked annoyed.

"I have to get up and get ready." He told her.

She then remembered that Derek was heading off to a meeting with some hospitals around the area to discuss everything going on. That also reminded her that she would be having lunch with Derek's mother, _alone. _

She felt the freak out coming but tried to push it away in case Derek needed a moment to freak out about his meeting.

"Are you nervous?" she asked turning in his arms.

"No…yes." He admitted.

"It's going to be fine, Derek; they're going to love you. You're going to go in there and they'll ask you some stuff about our hospital and then you can talk to the rest of them about improving more hospitals." She told him lovingly.

"I hope so, you're going to the mixer dinner with me tonight, right?" he asked for the tenth time since the previous day.

"Yes Derek, stop worrying." She told him.

"I just haven't been to one since I moved from here. Addison and I always went to them, I hated them. I'm dreading going, the only thing that will get me through it is knowing you are going to be all dressed up and that I'll be able to take the dress off of you by the time it's over." He told her placing a kiss on her lips.

"A dress?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, you have to dress up for this thing, which is another reason I hated living out here." He told her.

"I totally forgot to pack a dress, Derek!" Meredith said in a loud voice.

"Mer, calm down you can just buy one today at one of the stores." He told her.

"Not a nice one on a intern's salary." She told him annoyed.

"Mer, you can take my credit card." He told her smoothing the lines of worry on her forehead.

"No," she told him.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because, that's your money. I'm not using your credit card, I'll just use mine and pay it off later." She told him.

"Don't be crazy Meredith, use my credit card. One day our accounts will be joined anyway." He told her.

"That won't be for a long time Derek," she told him.

"I hope not." He told her.

"It doesn't matter when it happens Derek, I won't use your credit card for a dress." She told him.

"Meredith, please. I'm making you go with me; the least I can do is buy you a pretty, slutty dress that I can tear off of you later. This way, if I rip the fabric I won't feel bad about it." He told her with a smirk.

She finally giggled at his remark and flashed him a smile. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Positive." He told her.

"Thank you," She told him kissing him passionately. "So why did you wake me up so early when I don't have to be up for a couple more hours?" Meredith asked after pulling away from the kiss.

"Because, I wanted to talk to you before I left." He told her.

"That's all you wanted." She asked with her eye brows arched.

"Well, I may have had another motive." He said as he pulled her naked body on top of his and kissed her passionately.

-------------------------------------

"Good luck at your meeting," she told him as he exited the bathroom and finished dressing as she watched from the bed.

"Thanks, I think you gave me the best luck this morning." He told her as he came near the bed and kissed her softly.

"I'm glad," She said biting her lip as she felt the nerves coming on for her lunch later.

"You're nervous about lunch with my mom aren't you?" he asked her.

"Yeah, just a bit." She admitted.

"It'll be fine Mer, she already loves you. She just wants to get to know you a little better." He told her.

"But, Derek, I can't tell her everything about my past." She told him.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because, Derek, she'll not like me anymore. If I tell her about my crappy childhood and dark and twistiness, she won't approve of me anymore…and then she'll tell you that she hates me…then your sisters will hate me then you will leave me and then I really will be all dark and twisty and then I would have to move away because I couldn't work next to you while you moved on and dated some bright and shiny nurse or someone else so I would have to find another job and I just wouldn't be able to…" she was cut off by Derek's lips pressed against hers in a soft, loving kiss.

"Mer, you need to breathe." He told her with a chuckle.

She took a breath, "Sorry," she told him.

"It's find Mer, but you need to know that my mother will never hate you. She loves you and she really wants to get to know you. Don't hold anything back, tell her what you feel comfortable telling her and she'll be fine with it. And don't ever think that I would hate you or breakup with you. And I could never move on from you and date someone else." He assured her.

"Thank you, I'm sorry I freaked out." She told him.

"It's ok, your rambles are cute." He told her kissing her.

"They're annoying."

"And if you ever need to freak out, I'm willing to listen. I love you Mer," he told her.

"I love you too," she told him.

"I put my credit card on the table by your purse; don't be afraid to use it. I mean it. Buy some sexy stuff." He told her with a smirk.

"Ok, thank you." She told him sweetly. "Have fun at your meeting."

"I'll try," he said with a chuckle. "Have fun with my mom and sisters." He told her as he rested his forehead against hers.

"I will, we'll talk about all your embarrassing stories. Maybe they'll bring your baby pictures." She said with a smile.

"They can't. I already have them." he told her.

"Where?" she asked surprised.

"In my bag, we can look at them later if you want." He told her, "But this means I get to see your baby pictures."

"There aren't many." She told him, "You already saw most of them when we went through the boxes."

"Well, then I want to see the ones I haven't seen." He told her.

"Ok," She told him with a smile. She loved how he wanted to know about her past, even though it was dark and twisty.

"I have to go, or I'm going to be late." He told her.

"Hmm, ok. I love you," she told him as she stared into his deep blue eyes.

"I love hearing you say that, and I love you." He told her as he kissed her passionately before pulling away leaving her breathless.

He exited the hotel room after giving her another smile and she laid back down in bed to fall back asleep.

---------------------------

Meredith walked into the café that she was supposed to meet Carolyn at and noticed the older woman sitting at a table in a secluded area towards the back of the restaurant.

"Hello Carolyn," Meredith said with a smile as she approached the woman.

"Good afternoon, Meredith." Carolyn said standing up to embrace Meredith with a hug.

Meredith returned the hug then took the seat across from Derek's mother.

"How was your morning?" Carolyn asked.

"Good, I got to catch up on some sleep." Meredith said with a smile.

"Yes, I bet the jet lag gets to you out here." Carolyn said.

"It does, but its getting better the longer we're here. But when we return home I'll have to go through it all over again."

"I'm sure you're used to it though, aren't you? Being an intern comes with days of exhaustion, I remember that from all the doctors I've raised." Carolyn said with a loving smile.

"Yeah, I'm always tired it seems." Meredith admitted.

"I'm so glad you got the time off to come out here." Carolyn told her.

"Yeah, Derek pulled some strings and then I've known the Chief for a long time. I tried to put in extra time though so I wasn't totally using it to my advantage. That would be unfair to the other interns." Meredith said.

"Well, you have a big heart for you to do that, I know many who wouldn't do that. They would've just taken the days not caring about the others." Carolyn said.

"I guess, I just thought it would be unfair if I didn't put in extra time." Meredith said with a shrug as she looked the menu.

"What are you thinking about getting?" Carolyn asked as she perused her own menu.

"I'm thinking about getting the turkey sandwich," Meredith told her.

"That's good," Carolyn said as a waitress came up to them.

They both ordered their meals and continued small talk.

"So Meredith, tell me about your childhood." Carolyn said getting to a deeper topic. One that Meredith was dreading.

"Do you want the cover up story I've made up or the truth?" Meredith asked with a shaky smile.

"Meredith, dear, know that this won't change my opinion of you. I love you like a daughter already and I've welcomed you into my family as well. You're perfect for Derek, everyone can see that. So tell me which ever one you are comfortable telling, but also know that it won't change a thing." Carolyn told her gently.

"Wow Carolyn, thank you so much. I've never…um…really been accepted into a family, not even my own." Meredith told her shyly. When Meredith saw Carolyn's confused look she continued. "You know my mom is one of the best surgeons." Carolyn nodded in agreement. "Well, she probably should've just kept with that and shouldn't have had me because she was never a mother. My father left my mom and me when I was five and he never came back. My mom moved me out to Boston but I never knew her. As I grew up I was left with Nanny's or anyone else who would really watch me then when I got old enough she just left me home alone. She never cared about what I did; she'd just leave me alone and go to work. I never saw her unless I went to the hospital to visit her. I basically grew up alone with no parents." Meredith told her and Carolyn listened with a heavy heart.

"I finally graduated from high school and she wasn't there to see me achieve that, but then I went to Europe with some of my friends just to kinda get away from her. She told me repeatedly through out my life that I was a failure and that I wouldn't make it in college or anywhere for that matter…so I left and went to Europe without letting her know. I didn't know when I would return home, but when I got a phone call from a hospital in Boston saying she was diagnosed with Alzheimers, I came home. I moved her into a nursing home since she couldn't take care of herself, and neither could I and then I started going to college at Dartmouth. I finished the years needed, got my medical degree and then I moved out to Seattle and placed her in another home. I moved back into my childhood home which was hard, but once I met Derek he made it better. Now, I visit her when I can at the nursing home and try to go as much as possible. Derek still wants to meet her, but I've yet to let him do that." Meredith finished. She felt like she'd taken forever to talk and just as she finished their food came.

"Meredith, I am so sorry you were cheated out of a mother, a father and a family and a childhood. No one deserves that. No one should have to go through all that you did. You are such an amazing woman to go through that all alone." Carolyn told her.

"Well, I don't go through it alone now. Derek's there and he helps a lot. I just can't bring him to the nursing home yet." Meredith told her.

"Why not?" Asked Carolyn.

"Because, I'm afraid of what she's going to say to him, or about me. She's been brutal before and I just want him to know of her as the wonderful surgeon she was. I don't need her saying hurtful things to him or about him." Meredith told her.

"If I know my son, then I think he doesn't view her as a wonderful surgeon, not if he knows what you just told me." She told Meredith.

"He's said that before, I just don't want her being harsh with him." Meredith said.

"I think he can take it, I think he wants to meet her just because of you and what she has done. He probably doesn't understand how she can do all the things she has done and he just wants to meet her." Carolyn said. "He wants to be there for you, Meredith, let him." Carolyn advised.

"I'll think about it." Meredith admitted.

"Good, now if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your father?" she asked.

"Well, after he left and we moved we never heard from him, or I didn't anyway. I know he lives in Seattle still, but I don't know if I want to go see him. I've been thinking about it lately, but I'm still unsure." Meredith said.

"I see, I'm sorry this has happened to you Meredith," Carolyn told her with sympathy.

"I think it's made me the person I am today." Meredith told her.

"You're a very strong person, I can see that." Carolyn said.

"Derek thinks so too," Meredith said as she finished her meal.

"Derek has good judgment call on people. Has he told you the story about Mark?" Carolyn asked.

"No, he tries to stay away from the topic of Mark after everything that has happened. They're getting better though." Meredith said.

"That's good to hear. But when they were younger and started to go to school together, Derek came home and told me about a little boy he was friends with that had parents who didn't look after him well. He said they would leave him all alone in the dark." Carolyn said with a chuckle, and Meredith joined in, "Anyway, he asked if the little boy could stay with us when he got scared. I told him that he could and so Derek started bringing Mark home. They grew closer and closer and became practically brothers. Derek loved having around since he was the only boy in the family with four other sisters and so Mark became part of our family. We took him in and Meredith we are more then happy to take you in too." Carolyn told her.

"Thank you so much Carolyn," Meredith said with a teary smile. She finally had a family that wanted her.

"You don't have to thank me sweetheart, and I want you to start calling me mom, once you're ready." Carolyn told her.

"But, I'm not even related to you by law." Meredith said.

"That doesn't matter, soon you're going to marry my son and you will be legally my daughter." Carolyn said with a smile.

"Thank you so much Carolyn, I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am. I'm glad we had lunch." Meredith told her.

"Me too, I'm glad my son found you." She said.

They stood up and shared a hug just as the Shepherd sisters walked in.

"Meredith, are you ready to go shopping?" Jane asked as she hugged Meredith.

"Yeah," Meredith said with a smile.

"Derek told us that he left his credit card with you and for us to make sure you get a very lovely dress for tonight," Kathleen told her.

Meredith rolled her eyes at that, 'lovely' yeah right, he wanted something slutty and she knew it.

"Are you ready?" asked Sarah.

"Yeah, let's go." Meredith said as the Shepherd women and she exited the small café.

----------------------------

Derek made his way back to the hotel just in time to get ready and catch up with Meredith. She had already gotten ready and all he needed to do was change into a tux. God, he hated tux. He slid the card in the door and entered their hotel room.

"Meredith," he called out as he made his way around the large room.

"In here," she called out from the bedroom. He walked in to find her already ready for the evening; she was just adding her finishing touches.

He eyed her from head to toe and took in her appearance. Her hair was curled and resting against her collarbones and shining in beautiful waves. She wore little makeup which just added to her beauty, she never needed much. She wore a black dress that landed below her knees and hugged her curves. It was elegant, but looked amazing on her. Her long legs looked smooth as ice and her cute little feet were rested in a pair of strappy black heels. He fell even more in love with her, if that were possible, and couldn't resist kissing her.

He walked over to her without saying a word and pulled her into him for a long, passionate, loving kiss. He pulled back and looked down at her as she tried to catch her breath.

"What was that for?" Meredith asked him with a smile.

"You look stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, and breathtaking. All of those things combined." He told her.

"Well thank you, you like the dress?" She asked as she spun for him.

"I love it, and I love you." He told her.

"Good, now you need to get ready." She told him.

"Right, I lost all track of what I was supposed to be doing, you have that effect on me sometimes." He told her with a wink as he pulled his tux from the closet.

She smiled at the effect she had on him and continued to finish getting ready. "How'd lunch go?" He asked from the bathroom.

"It went really well, we talked about my mom and dad and childhood." She told him.

He poked his head out of the door and looked at her surprised. "Really? Did you tell her everything?" he asked.

"I told her it all, except how I was during high school and college." She admitted. "She doesn't need to know that I used to be a whore."

"Meredith," Derek said before she stepped out of the bathroom and got closer to her. "You are not a whore." He told her loving as he cupped her face in his palms.

"Not now, you've made me all monogamous. But I used to be, and I didn't think that would be appropriate for your mom to hear."

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I liked talking to her. She was really nice and loving." Meredith said.

"Good, I'm glad." He said.

"Derek, you have to go get dressed." Meredith told him as she looked at his half dressed body, he was lacking a shirt.

"I thought you liked me shirtless?" He asked teasingly.

"Oh, I do. But I don't want all the other lady doctors to see my handsome boyfriend shirtless." She said as she ran her hands up and down his chest.

"You have to stop doing that if we plan on being there on time." Derek said as he looked down at her beautiful face.

"Fine," she said as she backed away from him with a smile.

He returned to the bathroom then returned after he was dressed and ready to go. "How'd shopping go?" he asked as he struggled to tie his tie.

"Really good, cant you tell?" She asked with a smile and gestured to her dress.

"Oh yes, you did a great job picking that out. It fits the description I gave you." He said.

"Not too slutty right?" she asked.

"Not at all, just slutty enough." He said with a wink. "I hate ties." He said frustrated.

"Come here." She said as he walked to her. She took the tie from his hands and tied it flawlessly. "There." She said and placed a light kiss on his lips as she rested her hands on his chest.

"Thank you," he said then let out a little laugh.

"What?" Meredith asked confused.

"That was very wifely of you." He told her.

"What? No it wasn't Derek, all I did was tie your freaking tie." Meredith told him.

"Relax Mer, it was cute. It's like your practicing." He said with a laugh.

"Are you saying I need to practice being your life?" She asked him.

"Uh, no. That's not what I meant. Damn it…" he said frustrated and unsure how to answer her.

"Derek, relax. I'm just kidding." She told him.

"Good, I was freaking out there." He said pulling her close and kissing her passionately for moments unknown.

"Derek, we have to go." Meredith said out of breath. "We can do this later."

"But I don't want to share you with anyone else, you look so beautiful." Derek said with a pout.

"Derek, we have to go. You have to go talk to these people. Do you want to go alone?" she asked.

"Not at all," he said.

"Then lets go." She told him and pulled his hand with her to exit the room.

Derek Shepherd was going to have a great night with Meredith. He just had to make sure no other guys hit on her since she looked so amazing. But when they got back to the hotel he was going to have his fun with her.

**What'd you guys think? I hope you liked it. I wrote the last half still a little sick, so hopefully it doesn't suck. Do you guys want me to write the next chapter including the dinner thing or no? It's up to you! Let me know and review please.**

**HAPPY GREY'S DAY!! I'm excited for the episode tonight, even though it doesn't look like much MerDer will be in it, but hey you can just read my story if you need some fluff to feed your MerDer addiction. (: Comment please and enjoy the episode!**

**Melissa.**


	30. Elegant Nights

**Thank you reviewers!! So I know I normally update on the weekend and during the week but I went to Chicago on Saturday and then did make up work on Sunday, so I apologize. Here is another chapter, I think you will like (at least I hope you do). Enjoy!**

They arrived at an elegant plaza in the heart of the city and Meredith immediately felt out of place. She tried to push the feeling aside since she needed to be there for Derek, and the fact that his hand was comfortably placed in her hand helped her feel more at ease as well. The building was large with chandeliers hanging from the ceiling illuminating the whole room and the chairs and tables were covered in an elegant white cloth.

They found their table and Derek placed soft kisses on her temple as they talked with the others at the table. "Derek, it's so nice to see you again," Said a fellow doctor he had once worked with in New York.

"It's nice to see you again as well John, how are you?" Derek asked.

"I'm well, where's Addison tonight?" John asked him, apparently not noticing Meredith.

"Well, we got a divorce a while ago and I moved out to Seattle. This is my girlfriend, Meredith." Derek explained wrapping an arm around Meredith.

"Oh, it's nice to meet you." John said politely, embarrassed he asked to begin with.

"Nice to meet you too," Meredith said.

"Where's your wife?" Derek asked.

"Oh, somewhere around here chatting I assume." John said with a laugh.

"How is she?" Derek asked.

"She's well, enjoying time with our grandchildren when she can." John told Derek.

"That's nice," Derek said with a smile.

They enjoyed their dinner as they continued their small talk and then afterwards Derek stood to schmooze with some big fancy doctors. They walked around and Derek pulled out his charm as he small talked the Hospital Chief of some hospital around. Meredith stood at his side as his arm rested on her hip and he squeezed it gently every now and then. Meredith turned to him as a doctor left.

"I'm going to go to the bar and get a drink, do you need anything?" Meredith asked him.

"No, I'll use that as my excuse to escape here soon," he told her with a smile and placed a soft kiss on her lips before he turned to greet the next doctor and she left to go to the bar.

Meredith went to the bar and sat on a fancy stool. She ordered a drink and let her mind wander. She still felt out of place, she could never live in New York. She hated feeling like she had to be fancy all the time. She was a simple girl. She rather be wearing a pair of jeans, her favorite shirt and a pair of sneakers any day over a dress and heels. She enjoyed dressing up every now and then and she especially enjoyed seeing Derek in a nice tux, but she would never want to do this more then once maybe two times a month.

She was starting to enjoy her time here and that was something she never expected would happen. She had been so nervous to meet Derek's family and get their approval, but now that seemed silly. His family surprisingly loved her and welcomed her like a daughter or sister into their family, and she loved it. She finally felt like she belonged to a family.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard someone say something to her.

"Hey, are you a doctor around here?" asked the blond haired guy next to her.

Meredith looked over at him and noticed his green eyes right away. They stared at her with a look of desire and she felt her stomach turn in disgust. Derek Shepherd had ruined her, which maybe that was a good thing. She didn't want to be looked at by him that way, only Derek could do that. She didn't like the green eyes either; she wanted Derek's blue eyes to be looking at her that way.

"No," she answered shortly.

The guy continued, figuring she only answered in a short answer because she wasn't used to this.

"Are you a doctor?" he asked her.

"Yes," she answered, trying to remain polite as he annoyed her.

"Where from?" he asked.

"Seattle," She answered.

"Wow, that's far. How'd you end up here?" he asked.

"Seriously, stop asking questions you don't care about." She answered annoyed.

"Feisty, I like it." he answered with a smug look.

"You're obviously not a doctor." Meredith observed.

"What makes you say that?" he asked. Meredith looked past him and spotted Derek across the room talking to some bald, old guy. He looked up at her and flashed her a smile before he moved his eyes to the guy next to her. His smile turned to a frown and she saw him fight the urge to run over and punch the guy. She decided to add some fuel to his jealous fire and pretended to flirt with the guy. She gave him a soft look and gave him a smile she knew Derek recognized.

She noticed his fists at his sides curl up in anger as he bore his eyes into her. She could feel his stare all the way through her and she knew he was immensely jealous. She loved jealous Derek, after their fight about Finn they had had some amazingly hot sex that night. Seeing him hot, jealous and angry really turned her on and she felt the beginning feelings tingle through out her body.

Derek tried hard to focus on the old man in front of him listing various things about his hospital, but Derek couldn't concentrate. Meredith had left his side ten minutes ago and he began to search for her at the bar. He saw her beautiful blond curls and looked over at her with a smile gracing his lips. His smile faded when he saw some creep flirting with Meredith and giving her a look Derek knew all too well. Hell, he gave that look to her daily. It was a look of desire. What was this guy thinking giving his Meredith that look?

He felt the rage radiate through out his body and unconsciously his fingers curled into his palm to create fists. He excused himself briskly from the old man and made his way through the crowd towards the bar.

Meredith turned her attention away from Derek and back to the guy and tried to focus on what he was saying.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" she asked.

"I was telling you that I was becoming an intern soon." He told her again. "Hey, do you want to go back to my place? We can get some drinks, order some food that's not so fancy and have some fun. What do you say?" he asked as Meredith looked over his head and noticed Derek coming their way.

"Sorry, but I think you're going to have to find someone else to hit on. She's taken." Derek said coming over.

"She doesn't seem taken." The guy said looking at her ring finger.

"Get the hell away from my girlfriend you ass hole before I remove you from this room." Derek said harshly, yet in a low voice to not cause a scene. Meredith loved jealous Derek. He was now standing in front of her ready to pound this guy into the ground.

"She was flirting with me man, you should control your girl." The guy said.

"Get the hell away from her," Derek said harshly.

The guy apparently got the point and scampered off to find another woman to desire. Derek turned to Meredith and pulled her off the stool and began to walk quickly towards the exit.

"What are you doing, Derek?" Meredith asked as she struggled to keep up with him.

"We're going back to the hotel." He said as they made it out of the room and Derek grabbed their coats.

"What about the rest of the evening Derek, you have to get money for the hospital." She told him.

"I already did, now get in the car." He said as he pulled her door open. Damn he was hot and a gentleman all at the same time.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Meredith asked as Derek drove wildly through the streets of New York City.

"He was flirting with you Meredith; did you not see that or notice that?" He asked.

"I did, so is that a reason to storm out of an event and drive like a maniac through the city?" she asked amused.

"Yes, we're going back to the hotel and I am punishing you for flirting with another man." Derek said in a low, husky voice causing a tingle along with goose bumps to erupt on Meredith's skin.

"Derek, this is crazy. He was just talking to me." She lied.

"Mer, he was looking at you." Derek said.

"Oh, not that again, you thought Finn was looking at me. Is it the same look or a different one?" she asked.

"Don't mention that loser's name. And are you mocking me?" he asked looking at her. He wanted to take her back to the hotel and have his way with her.

"Derek, I'm with you." She told him.

"Damn right you are and we're going back to the hotel and spending the rest of our trip locked up in that room until you learn not to flirt with other guys." Derek said as they pulled into the hotel and he jumped out, throwing the keys to the valet.

"Derek!" She exclaimed as he grabbed her hand and pulled her along to the elevator. They entered and luckily it was empty.

Derek pushed Meredith against the wall of the elevator and kissed her with a hot passionate kiss. He nipped and sucked on her lips causing her to moan into his mouth as his hands roamed over her body.

"God Mer, you're so beautiful." He said breathlessly as he turned his kisses to her neck.

"You're jealous." She said weakly as his kisses caused her mind to cloud.

"I don't get jealous," he said as he picked her up and carried her out of the elevator to the empty hallway. He had a difficult time sliding the key card through the door, but once it was the door opened and he walked into the room letting the door slam behind them.

He went to the bed and laid Meredith on the bed before discarding his clothes in a hurry. He unzipped her dress and eased her out of her dress before climbing on top of her.

"I love you so much, Meredith," Derek said in a low, soft, loving voice before capturing her lips in another hot kiss.

"I love you too," she responded breathlessly as they continued to undress and make love.

* * *

"I like jealous Derek." Meredith said hours later as they lay in the rumpled sheets, their sweaty bodies tangled together.

"I wasn't jealous." Derek said as he ran his hands soothingly through her curls.

"Oh, ok. Whatever you say, that means I can go flirt with guys and you won't care." She said with a smile as she lay on his chest.

"Absolutely not," Derek said with a serious tone.

"But if you're not jealous…" Meredith said.

"Uh, fine. I was jealous." He told her.

"Awe, Derbear, you don't need to be jealous. I love you." She said in a mocking tone using his childhood nickname.

"You should never had meet my sisters." He said with a groan at the nickname.

"You love it," she told him.

"I love you," he told her.

"I love you too," she said with a smile as she cuddled into his shoulder and ran her hands through his hair. "I love jealous sex too," she added with a giggle.

"It does end up causing us to have some hot sex." Derek said with a chuckle.

"You know I would never flirt with a guy or cheat on you, right Derek." She asked.

"I know that Mer, I just get heated up when I see guys giving you the look I give you." He told her.

"It's not your look. Their look is creepy. Your look is sweet and loving. You make me feel like I'm the only woman in the world at that moment. Like I'm the only woman you have ever loved," she told him honestly. "That guy's eyes were ugly and green. Not the beautiful blue yours are."

"I do love you Mer, with all my heart. And you are the only woman in the world for me." He told her.

"I can't wait till our future together Derek," she told him as she pulled her head up and began placing kisses across his face.

"Me neither, soon Mer, I promise." He told her. God, he would do anything to be married to that woman, but he needed to plan a way to purpose and he needed to get a ring. One she would love and want to wear.

"Good, are you having breakfast with your mom tomorrow morning before we leave?" she asked.

"Yeah, you're hanging out with the girls' right?" he asked. His mother requested some alone time with her only son before he returned home and Meredith understood completely.

"Yeah, it should be fun. I love them, Der." She told him.

"Good, because they love you too." He told her.

"I'm glad." She said nuzzling her nose into his neck.

"Round two?" he asked as he trailed his fingers up her spine.

"Two? Isn't this more like round five or six?" she asked with a smile.

"I guess it is," he told her.

"Like I said, jealous sex is hot." Meredith told him as she captured his lips in a fiery, hot kiss.

They were leaving New York and returning home the next day, but until then they were going to enjoy the rest of their trip. Maybe this weekend would provide to be a milestone in their relationship.

**There you go! You wanted jealous Derek, well there he is!! Love writing him like that. Ok, that was a really boring chapter and bad writing on my part, but I had a hard time writing them at an elegant dinner. I don't know why, but I did. I hope you enjoyed it a little though. Next chapter will have a big part in it. It's not like humongous, but it happened on the show in the last season. You'll see. Hopefully I'll have that written by Thursday!**

**REVIEW! (Even if you hated it)**

**Melissa**


	31. Perfection

**Thanks for the many reviews I received!! I don't get the chance to respond to you all individually because I read my emails with my iPod Touch and it doesn't let me answer them easily from there then when I get on my computer I'm busy doing other stuff, like writing, but here is my thank you to you all! I hope you enjoy this chapter!! **

Derek woke up and left the hotel after getting ready. Meredith was still lying in bed when he left but she had plans with his sisters later. He was so happy they had welcomed her and loved her from the start. She fit in so well with them, even if it was with them teasing him, he loved it.

All of his nieces and nephews had also accepted Meredith quickly and he loved seeing them interact with her. She was so attentive to them and whatever story they were telling her and she would always take time to engage in conversation with them. He loved it, and he loved her more for it. He couldn't wait till they got married and started their own family. It would truly be perfection then.

Derek walked into his old childhood home and entered the kitchen where his mother was cooking her famous French toast. "Hey Mom," he greeted her with a hug and kiss to the cheek.

"Dear, good morning." She said with a smile as she returned the hug.

"French toast smells amazing. I haven't had it in forever." Derek told her as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"Well, maybe if you returned home more often you would," She said with a smile as she flipped a piece of bread onto a plate and brought it over to him.

"I'm sorry mom, I really am. I shouldn't have stayed away as long as I did," He told her as he took a bite from the toast.

"I understand Derek, you were busy at the hospital and you met Meredith, I get it. I was once young and in love myself, and to a busy Neuro Surgeon as well." Carolyn told her son remembering her husband with a smile.

"I really do love her mom; she's the one for me. With Addison, I never felt this way. I never thought she was the one, I just thought I loved her and wanted to be with her. But we were better as friends. With Meredith, I just…I can't imagine spending a day without her. We connect on so many levels, and we just…we click. I've never been this happy before in my life." Derek said trying to explain the feelings he felt towards Meredith to his mom.

"You want to marry her, right?" Carolyn asked sitting down with her son and smiling at his happiness.

"More than anything, but I want to wait and make sure she's ready and make sure I find the perfect way." Derek told his mother.

"I have something for you, Derek." She said standing up and moving over to the counter and grabbing the black box that sat inside the drawer out and returning to the table.

"I want you to give this to Meredith, when you're ready." She said opening the box to reveal her engagement ring.

"Mom…you…you never take this off. This was dad's ring to you…I can't…" Derek protested. His mother loved that ring.

"I never took it off until I met Meredith. Your father always told me I would have to give it up someday for when you found the right woman. Addie wasn't right, obviously, but Meredith…Meredith is perfect for you. And I think this ring would look perfect on her finger." Carolyn said gesturing for Derek to take the ring.

"But, mom, are you sure?" He asked unsure.

"I'm positive. I still have my wedding band. That will keep me connected to your father along with the memories. It's Meredith's turn to have the ring and it's your turn for the perfect marriage." She told Derek with happy tears shining in her eyes to match her sons.

"Thank you Mom, so much. I'll make sure we live up to legend." Derek told his mother. He was so happy to be able to give Meredith his mother's ring. That ring represented all the years of happiness and love his parents shared. He knew Meredith and he would be the same, but having that ring made it so much more special. He couldn't wait to place it on her finger.

"Oh, Derek, you and Meredith are going to make it. I know you will." She told him while squeezing his hand lovingly.

* * *

Meredith had arrived with the other sisters shortly after Derek and his mother had finished breakfast and were just talking about random things in their lives. Derek had hidden the ring in his suitcase that was out in the car so Meredith couldn't find it.

"Hey Mer, how was your morning?" Derek asked pulling her onto his lap placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Good, we enjoyed hanging out and sharing embarrassing stories about you." Meredith said with a giggle and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I should've known." He said as he rolled his eyes but shared a smile with her. "We have to get ready to go if we want to catch our plane on time." He told her.

"Uh, right. We have to return to work." Meredith said with a sigh.

Derek gave her a soft kiss and stood up with her as they started their goodbyes. The Shepherd sisters all embraced Meredith and promised to call and email while they were apart and shared their happiness of finally meeting her.

Carolyn embraced Meredith in a hug and whispered in her ear, "Welcome to the family, Meredith," before giving her a slight squeeze and going over to her son.

"Take care of her, and make sure you ask before the holidays, I want to see that ring on her finger when you come back." She demanded in a soft voice so only he could hear as she hugged her son.

"I promise I will mom, we'll call and keep in touch while we're back home." Derek promised.

"You better, and don't keep her away anymore Derek, we love her." Kathleen told him as she hugged him goodbye.

The other sisters embraced the couple and said their goodbyes and Derek and Meredith left his childhood home to make their way to the airport.

Derek squeezed her hand in a loving way and looked at her.

"What?" She asked confused by his look.

"You were amazing all weekend, thank you." Derek said placing a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

"No need to thank me, I actually had fun." Meredith told him.

"See, there was no need to freak out." Derek said as they pulled into the airport parking lot.

"Ready to go home?" She asked him with a warm smile.

Home once used to be New York, and in a way it always would be. But now, home was wherever Meredith was. Where they fell in love, where they would get married, where they would build their home, and where they would start their family.

"Yeah, I am." Derek said with a smile as he placed a kiss on her lips then grabbed their bags.

* * *

"Finally home," Meredith said with a sigh as they opened the door to her old childhood home. The flight had seemed longer then the flight out there and Meredith was glad to be home. Derek came in behind her and set their bags down on the floor by the stairs.

"I'm so tired." Derek said with a sigh as he pulled Meredith near him and breathed in her comforting scent.

"Me too, do we have tomorrow off?" Meredith asked wanting nothing more then to fall asleep in her boyfriend's arms.

"Yeah, I planned for us to come home and have an extra day off to rest. We'll only have to go in if we get paged." Derek told her.

"You're the best boyfriend." Meredith told him as she ran her hands through his hair.

"You should stop doing that," Derek told her, but made no move to stop her.

"Why?" She said with a giggle, continuing to run her hands in the curls.

"Because, I'm going to end up falling asleep and falling on you," he told her tiredly.

"Then lets go up stairs and go to bed." She told him with a smile tugging on his hand.

"Sex?" Derek asked tiredly as he grabbed their bags and made it up the stairs.

"Oh, you're too tired to stand, but you want sex?" Meredith asked.

"Yes?" Derek said.

"That's pathetic. No sex tonight, tomorrow. Tomorrow can be filled with sex and sleep." She told him lovingly as they entered their room and she made her way to the dresser in the corner of the room.

Derek pulled his sweater above his head and pulled his pants off. Leaving him in only his boxers and t-shirt. He walked to the bed and pulled the covers back to climb in and feel the comfort of their soft bed mold his body. He watched from the bed as Meredith pulled her shirt and pants off and pulled one of Derek's shirts over her head. She loved sleeping in his clothes. Once the shirt was placed over her head she did a nifty move and he watched in awe as she pulled her bra out from under the shirt.

"How did you do that?" Derek asked still amused.

Meredith giggled as she got into bed and faced him. "Do what?" She asked with a smile.

"You just took your bra off with a shirt on." He said.

"Yeah, it's a trick girls learn to do." Meredith said laughing at his fascinated expression.

"I don't like it," Derek finally said after a moment of thinking.

"What? Why?" She asked with a giggle.

"Because, I like it when you take your bra off the normal way." He said with a glint in his eyes.

"You mean when you get the opportunity to see me shirtless?" She asked with a laugh.

"Yes, that is the best way to remove your bra." He told her.

"I thought this way would be better for tonight." Meredith told him.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because, this way didn't lead to sex."

"But I like sex. I actually love sex, more sex I say." He told her.

"You get sex everyday." Meredith told him with a laugh.

"Still, we could have more." Derek told her.

"Then we wouldn't have a life. Remember, you're too tired, you couldn't even stand." She told him running her hands through his hair again.

"That feels so good," Derek said pulling her closer as his eyes closed, exhausted from the weekend.

"Go to sleep, Derek." She told him in a whisper.

"K, love you." He said placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Love you too," she said curling up to him as she continued massaging his head.

This was perfection. Laying in the others arms so close to each other and being truly in love was perfection for them. They would never tire of being together in any way. They would be together forever; nothing could end what they have for each other.

**There it is! It is short, but it was more of a filler. I have some stuff planned that involves a dark and twisty Meredith. But, you guys shouldn't be too upset, but I don't know because those chapters aren't written. All of it is still up in my head and by either the weekend or Wednesday/Thursday you guys will get another chapter. Just depends on my weekend and my week. I hope you guys liked it. **

**REVIEW!!!!! (I love them and I love hearing what you have to say!)**

**Melissa**


	32. Things That People Say

**Thank you everyone for the fabulous reviews! I tried to respond to each of them and I appreciate you taking the time out to review. Here is the next chapter and there is a guest appearance in here. I hope you enjoy and review again!**

Meredith and Derek were back at work. Today was their first day back and Meredith knew she would be asked tons of questions regarding her weekend in New York with Derek and his family. They exited the elevator and exchanged a quick kiss goodbye and set off in their opposite directions.

Meredith entered the locker room to see her friends going through the usual routine of changing and getting ready for rounds. "Hey guys," She greeted as she went to her own locker.

"Meredith! How was it? How was his mother? Did she like you? How were the sisters? Did they judge you, or hate you? Did they like you? How was his house, was it big? I bet it would be big, I mean his father was a doctor right? How was it, Mer?" Izzie gushed out as she saw her friend.

Meredith moved away from Izzie and gave Cristina a look for help.

"Barbie, pipe down. Let her get ready, then ask questions." Cristina said as she pulled her hair back in a pony tail.

"Sorry," Izzie said quietly before closing her locker.

Meredith dressed quickly then turned around to see four pairs of eyes staring back at her. "What?" Meredith asked.

"How did it go?" Izzie asked again.

"It went…well. His mom is really nice and welcoming. His sisters are so much fun to be around, we got along really well. Nancy was a bitch at first, but she's good now. They were all really welcoming actually. It was a fun weekend, and New York is so pretty! His house is a home, an actual home. Like they have pictures on the wall, and blankets over the couch. It's small, but not too small. It's the perfect size for their family. It was a nice weekend." Meredith said with a smile.

"Wow." Cristina muttered from her place on the bench.

"What? Why are you looking at me that way?" Meredith asked taking in her friends pinched look.

"You…you've changed." Cristina said.

"What do you mean I've changed?" Meredith asked.

"You're all…bright…and shiny now." Cristina told her.

"What…that's crazy. Just because I've changed a little doesn't mean I'm a complete different person." Meredith said annoyed.

"It's not a bad thing Mer; you've changed for the good. You're finally getting the happiness you've deserved in your life." Izzie told her.

"Thank you Iz," Meredith told her with a smile.

"Whatever, I think it's weak." Cristina said before she shut her locker and walked out into the hallway.

Meredith let out a sigh of frustration towards her friend and just stared at the others. "Am I that different?"

"Just a bit, but it's a good thing like Izzie said." George said from his locker.

"So, it's not weak or weird?" Meredith asked.

"Look, don't worry what Cristina says. I understand where you're coming from. You and I, we had crappy parents and a crappy childhood. We deserve happiness and McDreamy is that happiness for you. Enjoy it; don't let bitter Cristina get in the way of that." Alex told her flashing her a warm smile.

"Ok, thanks Alex." She told him.

"No problem."

"Why the hell are you all just standing around?! Get to work!" Bailey exclaimed as she walked in and ordered the interns to go work with whom ever they were assigned to.

* * *

Meredith was working on Burke's cases with him, which just caused more tension between Cristina and her. Cristina was assigned to Derek's services and she knew Cristina would end up saying some negative stuff to Derek. Meredith didn't understand what was wrong with her. If Cristina was happy with Burke like Meredith was with Derek, then Meredith would be supportive. But Cristina was being difficult and ruining her happiness.

She began thinking about how nice and welcoming Derek's family had been. They were so nice and caring, more then she could say about her own family. They never showed her love in anyway, but she had come to terms with that. She often wondered where her own father was. She knew he lived in the Seattle area, but she never really knew where or what he had been up to in the past. She knew he had another family, a better family. But she didn't know how many or how old his daughters were.

It was finally lunch time, and she figured she could stop thinking about her messy parent problems and focus on spending time with her family. Derek was in a meeting with the Chief discussing the success of their weekend, so Meredith was sitting with her friends in the cafeteria.

Cristina came up to the group and sat down, slamming her tray down on the table.

"So Mer, we wanna hear all about your weekend. You didn't get to tell us much earlier." Izzie said with excitement from her seat.

Cristina silently rolled her eyes and started eating.

"What do you want to know?" Meredith asked taking a bite of a fry.

"What's his mom like?" Izzie asked.

"Well, she has dark hair like Derek's, but brown eyes. She's a real mom type. She bakes and cooks perfectly, she loves her grandchildren and children more than anything, and she still wears her wedding band from her marriage. She welcomes everyone into her home with loving arms, and I just…I don't know how else to explain her. She's just the perfect…" Meredith was cut off.

"Yeah, we get it. McDreamy has the perfect family…blah, blah, blah." Cristina mumbled stabbing her food.

"Ok, what the hell is your problem?" Meredith asked annoyed by her friend's rude behavior.

"We just don't need to hear about the perfect Mcfamily, ok? Not everyone here cares about that." Cristina said as the table let out disagreements.

"Izzie asked me Cristina." Meredith told her.

"Fine whatever, that's great. But you know what? No matter how hard you try, you're never going to be able to replace your crappy mother and father. Or your childhood. So you should just stop trying. All of his family sees you as the slutty intern and there is no way you and Derek are going to last." Cristina told her harshly.

Meredith felt slapped by her best friend's words. Where the hell was this all coming from? Meredith hadn't done anything wrong. She stood up leaving her food and turned to leave, hearing her other friends' pleas to stay as she exited the cafeteria.

She couldn't go see Derek, he was busy and more than likely wouldn't understand what was going on. She decided to duck into a storage room until her lunch break was over and she could return to her case. She just needed to get herself together, and take deep breaths.

* * *

Derek had just exited the Chief's office and was returning to his patient. He was more than happy to share with the Chief his success from the weekend, and he hoped it proved to the Chief that having Meredith there only help their success more. Derek definitely worked better with her there.

He smiled to himself as he felt his coat breast pocket and felt the weight of the black velvet box inside it. He was happy that he was working with Cristina, even though she was a bit more bitter than usual, because he wanted to ask her about proposing to Meredith.

He entered the room to his patient and checked over the chart before exiting and going to the nurse's station. He started writing on the chart and then recognized someone was standing next to him.

"You paged me Dr. Shepherd," Cristina said as she came up with a scowl on her face.

"Yes, I did. But not for a medical reason. I need your opinion on something," Derek said reaching into the pocket and pulling the box out. "I want to propose to Meredith, what do you think?" he asked opening the box for her to admire the ring.

Cristina stared at it blankly. Why was he asking her? She wasn't the bright shiny person, Izzie was and apparently now Meredith since she'd changed. She could care less about what Derek was going to do with her best friend. She had no hopes that love could last any long amount of time. But medicine…medicine always stuck around. It was everlasting and didn't cause drama.

"I'm sorry what?" Cristina asked wondering if she misheard him.

"I want to propose to Meredith…soon. What do you think?" Derek repeated.

"I think…I think you guys won't last. Just because your family liked doesn't mean anything…if anything they were probably just pretending they liked her. She's viewed as the slutty intern that messed up your marriage, at least that's what they probably think. I don't think you're relationship will last…so I don't think you should ask her." Cristina told him coldly.

"I don't know what your problem is, or where you think that you can say that stuff about my family, but they love her. They accepted her like another Shepherd sister, they loved her. You should be happy for your friend that she has a family that loves her. You know what she's been through and you know what her childhood was like. So why wouldn't you want that for your friend? To be loved. I love her, more than anything in the world. And she and I have talked multiple times about getting married and having a family. We're going to do it, rather you like it or not. Or rather you approve, because frankly I don't care about your opinion. I just thought I'd get your opinion on the ring. Meredith values your relationship and she values your opinion, you better not fill her head with doubt about us or tell her what you just told me." Derek told her harshly.

He only put up with Cristina and her attitude because she was best friends with Meredith. But he wasn't about to take what she said about his family, Meredith and their relationship without saying anything to her.

"Well…I kinda already told her my opinion." Cristina told him.

"What? What did you say?" Derek said worried about Meredith and her doubts now.

"Exactly what I told you, except I mentioned her parents." She told him.

"Why…why would you do that?" Derek asked her angry.

"Because, I wasn't going to sit back and let her be all bright and shiny without her remembering her dark and twistiness. You can't just come in and change her like you did. She's still Meredith, and all that horrible stuff is still apart of her." Cristina told him.

"Cristina, I know who she is. I don't need you reminding me or her. I love her for everything she has gone through, and I have not changed her. If she has changed, then that is only because she has let me in and has trusted me. If you aren't happy with that, then stay out of her life. She doesn't need you being negative. She has enough doubts going on in her mind, but only because of the way people have treated her in the past. Don't put anymore doubts in her head." Derek told her sternly.

"Fine…whatever. It doesn't matter, after I told her she got mad and stormed off." Cristina told him.

"What? Where did she go?" Derek asked worried.

Meredith used to run…that was one thing he remembered before they started to be serious, she was known for running.

"I don't know. You're her soon-to-be fiancé, you go find her." Cristina said as she turned and left the nurses station.

Derek sighed in frustration and ran his hands through his hair. He needed to find Meredith.

* * *

After regaining her composure Meredith left the storage room and quickly made it to the nurse's station where a phone and phone book was placed. She thumbed through the pages and looked up the name and address to someone she hadn't seen in over a decade.

She found the name and address and wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper. She made it to her locker and was thankful that her shift was over before the others. She avoided people as much as she could, and didn't even look for Derek. She couldn't tell him what was going on. He'd never understand. He had the perfect childhood. And she was the messed up one.

She pulled up to the house that contained her past. The house that currently held her father. The guy who never cared about her, who never looked back and who never reached out to her in the past twenty some years.

She took a deep breath before pushing open her car door, and walked slowly to the porch. She climbed the stairs one at a time and with each step she tried to reassure herself. She pushed herself to ring the door bell and to wait for a person to answer.

Finally, the door opened and revealed an older man with gray, fluffy hair and eyes that matched her own. He had bags under his eyes from old age, and he looked well…happy. The look of realization appeared on his face and he stepped away from the house, letting the door swing shut behind him. He looked at Meredith with shock evident on his features.

"Meredith…" he breathed.

"She had an affair…didn't she?" she asked him. No greeting, no welcoming hug or look. All he said was her name, and all she did was ask a question, a very heavy question.

"Uh, yes…" he said catching on.

"Why didn't you…why didn't you try to…fight for me? You just left." Meredith told him, fumbling over her words, which apparently she had in common with her dear old dad.

"I…uh…tried. But…she…I just…I couldn't." he told her looking around the dark night as he answered.

"That's it?" she asked, standing there in silence.

"I…Is there something…you need? Money…or…" he stuttered.

"No…I don't…I don't need anything from you." She told him with a harsh look as she turned around and fled to her car, letting the tears in her eyes fall freely. She got in her car and started it up before skidding away from the curb. She made it down the street and around the corner before she pulled over and stopped her car. She continued to let the tears fall as her thoughts and doubts danced around in her head. Reminding her off all the pain she had felt growing up.

She looked at the clock and knew Derek's shift was over and he'd be at home wondering where she was. She didn't want to deal with him, he couldn't understand. She buckled the seat belt and began to drive away again once she brushed her tears away, allowing more to fall on her cheeks.

* * *

Derek paced around the living room checking the windows for any sign of Meredith's car every time he passed it. He didn't know where she was. She had left the hospital without telling him or anyone. He figured she'd be at home, but she wasn't there. He needed to know where she was. So many thoughts rushed through his head and she paced.

She could be drunk in a bar giving some other guy a lap dance…

She could be with another guy, drunk, at his place…

She could be dead on the side of the road…

The thoughts continued one irrational thought after another. She needed to come home. He needed to know she was ok and that she wasn't having doubts again from Cristina. He needed to hold her, hug her, kiss her and tell her how much he loved her. He needed her. Where the hell was she then?

He finally saw the light beams from her car cast upon the house causing the shadow from the curtain to lie on the floor. He waited impatiently as she exited the car and made her way to the door. Doc jumped off the nearby couch and rushed to the door, eager and happy to see his other owner.

"Hey Doc," Meredith greeted with a dull tone.

He looked at her. Really looked at her and noticed she wasn't drunk. So where the hell had she been?

"Where have you been? I was worried." Derek said as he made his way to the foyer.

"I was…just out." Meredith stuttered, unsure what to tell him.

"Out where?" he asked.

"Just out Derek, I just…I need some time alone. Ok?" She asked him trying to pass him and enter the kitchen.

"Meredith, I need to talk to you. I talked to Cristina and I know she said some stuff to you…I want to make sure you're ok." He told her.

"I'm fine." She told him as she moved around the kitchen, making herself some tea.

"Meredith, talk to me." He urged.

"Leave me alone Derek, I don't want to talk to you. I asked you to leave me alone; I told you I need some time alone. Just give me some time alone. It's not that hard to ask for." Meredith snapped at him, unfortunately taking her frustration and anger out on him.

"Meredith…" Derek said in a soft whisper.

"No, you know what? We're not doing this. I don't want to talk, so you can sleep on the couch or in one of the other rooms…I really don't care where." Meredith said pushing past him and running upstairs to her room before slamming the door shut. She hated her life.

Derek stared off blankly in the direction she ran off to and let out a heavy sigh. Something had happened to her today, and he was going to find out. He just hoped she didn't push him away.

**There it is!! Sorry it took me so long!! Leave me some comments please! Actually, leave me A LOT!! I love them and I will try to respond to them. Thank you for reading and hopefully you take two minutes to review!**

**Enjoy Grey's tomorrow!!**

**Melissa**


	33. Dark and Twistiness

**Thank you everyone for the loving reviews! I loved them. Sorry it has taken me a while to get this up, but I started a job last week and then I have exams this week so…**

**How bout that episode Thursday? Pretty great, I loved seeing Derek and Meredith talk. (:**

**Also, those who are **_**Twilight**_** fans, did you see **_**New Moon**_**? It's amazing!!! I'm finding it hard to write for Grey's at the moment because of how great it was, but I love MERDER so you guys are getting an update. (:**

**Here you go! Enjoy!**

* * *

Meredith entered their bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. She didn't want to talk to Derek right now. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now. She wanted to be left alone. She had told him that, but he was persistent and he ticked her off, causing her to lash out at him. Ugh, he would never understand her. Never. Maybe they needed to end it; maybe she couldn't be with someone happy. Maybe she wasn't meant to be happy.

She sat down on her bed as she stared with dry eyes at the wall in front of her. No one wanted her. She wasn't wanted by her parents, so why would Derek want her? Sure, he had taken her to meet his family and they loved her. But, like Cristina said that wouldn't cover up or make up for her crappy parents. And sure they had talked about their future and kids and stuff, but who knew if that would ever happen. It was so unlikely that Meredith would ever be happy.

She heard the door open and she just stared straight ahead. Derek came into view and she continued to stare past him. "Mer," he said softly.

She didn't look at him. "I just came in to get my pajamas for the night." He said softly as he moved to the dresser.

He picked out a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt before turning back to her. "Mer, please talk to me." He told her in a desperate whisper.

She sat in silence as she continued to stare ahead, he began to worry. She wasn't looking at him or talking. He stood there and was about to turn around when he heard her soft whisper. "I don't think I can do this anymore." He turned around confused by what she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked gently.

"I don't know if I can continue…in this…relationship." She said finally looking up at him. He looked into her eyes and saw soft tears.

"Wha…what?" he choked out.

"I'm…sorry…." She said in a whisper.

"No…no…no Mer…you can't…you can't mean that…you can't. What…what happened today? Was it Cristina? Cause I talked to her, and she's just being a bitch Mer, she's jealous or whatever…but that doesn't have to change us. My family loves you; they don't think of you as a slut, they love you. And I love you…God Mer, I love you so much…please…don't do this." He pleaded as tears shined in his eyes reflecting the pain he was feeling.

"I can't Derek, I just…I can't. My own…father…and mother…they can't even love me. How can you? How can I be bright and shiny when my life has been nothing but dark and twisty. I can't…I can't be a good wife to you in the future…I wouldn't be able to be a good mother…I mean look at my example! I can't give you kids when I know that I would be a horrible mother…and you…God you would be so good with kids…you need to be a dad…and I can't give you that…you need…you need…to go…be with someone who can give you the happiness you deserve…the kids you deserve…the future you deserve." She said with tears flowing down her cheeks as she tried to stop a sob from escaping her mouth.

"I don't…I don't need kids. I just, I just need you Meredith. Please, I'll do anything. All I need in this world is you, nothing else matters without you. I…I don't understand where this is all coming from, but I'm not leaving you. I will do anything for you, just please don't push me away." He told her.

"You do, you do need to have kids. You've wanted kids for so long; you talk about having them…"

"But that means nothing with out _you_. I want them with _you_." Derek told her with tears.

"I can't give you that. I would be a horrible mother." She said softly looking down to her lap.

"That's not true. Sure, Ellis sucked as a mom and treated you wrong, but you've been through that. I know you wouldn't do that to our children. And your mother didn't have a supporting husband, you would. God Mer, I would never leave you. I could never leave you or our children. I want to marry you. I do, and I want kids with you because you…you were great with my nieces and nephews. You listened to them, and paid attention to them. That's how I know you are going to be a great mom, no matter how Ellis treated you, any kid would be lucky to have you as their mom." Derek told her softly as he pulled her chin for her to look at him.

"It doesn't matter." She said softly.

"Why?" he asked desperately. He wanted to know what was going on with her, she was scaring him.

"Because, I'm never going to have the opportunity." She told him.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because, I'm not getting married to anyone." She said.

Derek's heart broke. He was in the middle of planning on how to propose to her, and now she tells him she doesn't want to get married. What the hell happened to her today?

"What?" he asked shocked.

"Derek, I'm ending this. You and me, we're done. I can't be with you. You deserve happiness and to be with someone who's not unwanted or dark and twisty." She told him with tears streaming freely.

"Stop it!" he yelled frustrated. Why was she doing this? Meredith flinched at his outburst and looked away from him. "No! You aren't doing this. I'm not letting you do this! Would you just tell me what the hell happened today? Please!" he yelled. He wasn't letting her go, no way in hell.

"Nothing. I just realized that I'm not good for you. You deserve someone better Derek, please, just go." She told him desperately.

"No. There is no way in hell I am leaving. I won't do it…so you might as well tell me what the hell happened since this morning. Was it Cristina?" he asked.

"No, ok? It was nothing!" she yelled.

"Meredith, please." He pleaded in a whisper.

"Just stop caring Derek, just leave." She told him.

"No! I won't leave and I definitely won't stop caring! Don't you get it? I love you, remember? I _love_ you!" he told her.

"Yeah, I know, but I can't do this anymore Derek." She told him.

"Do what? Love me? Be with me?" Derek asked.

"All of it. I don't deserve you. I'm unlovable." She told him.

"That's bull shit, and you know it! I love you; I've been in love with you forever. So that makes you loveable. And I do deserve you, we deserve each other. We both deserve to be happy together, which I thought we were. I thought I made you happy." Derek told her.

"You do, Derek. Please, don't think this has anything to do with you. You're such a good guy, and I do love you…"

"Then what is the problem, we were moving forward I thought?" Derek asked desperate for any answers she would give.

"We were, but then…I went…"

"Where did you go? You left work early, where did you go Meredith?" he asked.

"I went to see my dad." She told him.

"Ok, what happened?" he asked her, he was beginning to see her wall crumble as he asked her more questions.

"Uh, well he came out on the porch and stared at me. I asked him why he didn't fight for me, he just said he tried. He just stared at me; he didn't welcome me or ask anything about me. He just asked if I needed money. He doesn't even care about…me…or anything. He just cares about his precious new family and perfect daughters, except…except for me. He never loved me…he couldn't have. So that means I was unloved by both of my parents. They didn't care about me. They screwed me up so badly, and made me unlovable. So how can I be in a relationship or get married or have kids when I was never loved by my parents. Parents are supposed to love you, no matter what, and yet…I never had that. I never had someone to love me, so that's why I can't be in a relationship…I'm toxic or something…and I don't want to infect you." She told him with a sob.

"Meredith, oh Mer…come here…" he told her softly taking a seat on the bed and pulling her into his lap. God, this was bad, so…so bad.

"No, Derek just stop caring. I don't want you to get hurt." She told him trying to pull away from him.

"Stop it, could you just stop?" He said annoyed by her behavior. "I love you. I want you to stop saying stuff about me not caring or loving you. Because I will always love and care about you. I want to marry you, Mer, marriage is something I want with you. I want to grow old with you and have kids with you and just…be…in love with you all the time. The only way I could get hurt is if you end this." Derek told her softly as he looked into her emerald green eyes.

"Why? You should be with someone who doesn't have a horrible past." She told him.

"No, I don't want anyone like that. That's not you. Your past makes you so much stronger. And God Mer, I wish I could take back what your parents did to you, because you don't deserve any of that. And your dad? He's an ass. He's not a man, not when he left his little girl. He's a horrible person and I wish you would've told me you were going over there, because I would have gone with you. I would have told him off, but most importantly I would've known what was bugging you without you threatening to end our relationship. Because there is no way in hell that we are over, I won't let that happen." Derek told her pulling her closer and placing a soft kiss on her head.

"Are you sure you don't want anyone better?" she asked.

"No, I already have the perfect girl for me." He told her with a smile.

She finally cracked a smile and Derek felt his heart lighten. God, he loved her smile.

"Are we good?" He asked her.

"Uh, yeah. We are. Thank you. That was very dark and twisty of me…"

"Mer, it's ok to be dark and twisty, just next time please don't try to push me away or try to end this. I can deal with dark and twisty Meredith, but I can't deal with you ending this. That would…that would break me." He told her honestly.

"Ok, I'm sorry." She said looking up at him.

"It's ok, just talk to me from now on." He told her.

"Ok," she said.

"You're going to be a great wife and mother in the future Meredith." Derek told her with honesty showing in his eyes.

"You think?" she asked him.

"I know, more than anything." He told her as he leaned down to place a kiss on her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down more so she could kiss him with passion. She allowed his tongue entrance into her mouth and their tongues dueled as they kissed passionately.

"I love you, Meredith." He told her as he pulled away breathless. He stared down at her with love shining in his eyes, he was so lucky to have her.

"I love you too, more than anything." She told him with a smile. "I want to be your wife someday, and I want your babies." She told him.

"God, Mer, that makes me so happy to hear." He told her pulling her in for another kiss.

"I like making you happy," she told him.

"You always do," he told her.

"Make up sex?" She asked him with a smile.

"Definitely," he told her picking her up and throwing her lightly onto the mattress next to them. Meredith let a giggle escape her mouth and Derek's heart swelled. He had been so scared fifteen minutes ago, but hearing that laugh made all the problems disappear. He loved her, and she loved him. He would propose soon and they would be married and get their happy ever after. He would make sure she knew just how much he loved her, no matter what.

**Hey, how'd you like it? I hope you did. I know it was very dark and twisty of Mer, and I had thought of continuing that, but decided against it. I hope you liked it and I really hope you review!! I don't know when the next update will be since I have exams this week and then it's Thanksgiving. But, I will try to get one up next week. (:**

**REVIEW!!**

**Melissa**


	34. Playing God

**Ok, I know it's been longer than usual since an update. But, with Thanksgiving and me being away from my computer and in Kentucky it was a little hard for me to write. Then when school started Monday I had to start a new trimester which means new classes which suck!! So, here I am FINALLY updating. I apologize for the long wait. But here it is. I hope you like it and thank you so much to those who reviewed!**

* * *

Meredith woke to see Derek staring down at her. They normally woke up together anyway, but he always had his arms wrapped lovingly and protectively around her. Like a safe, warm cocoon that only they shared together. That, however, was not the way she waking up right now.

"What?" She asked confused as to why he was staring at her.

"Nothing. Good morning." He said softly leaning down to kiss her softly on her lips.

"Ok, why were you staring at me?" she asked.

"Nothing, just watching you sleep." He told her, but she could see something behind those eyes.

"Why are you watching me sleep?" she asked him.

"You're cute when you sleep." He told her with a smile and another kiss to her lips.

"Why do you look tired?" she asked noticing the light bags under his eyes.

"We were up all night having sex, I'm still a little tired I guess." He told her.

She decided to drop it. Who really cared anymore why he was watching her sleep. At least he was still there every morning like he promised.

"Ok, whatever. I have to talk to Cristina today." She told him in a monotone voice.

"Why? You should just give her the silent treatment after what she said. You didn't deserve that." Derek told her.

"I know, maybe I'll just see how it goes and then decide what to do." Meredith told him.

"That sounds good," he told her. "Are you sure you're ok now?" he asked worried a little.

"Yeah, I'm good now. I'm sorry again about last night. I just…it was hard getting the courage to go see my dad and then after how it went that just…it made me get dark and twisty thoughts. I mean you've…you've changed me. And the change is good, really good. But those thoughts still come and the dark and twistiness is still part of me. You just…have to help me through it sometimes." Meredith told him.

"And I will do that every time, but if there are any thoughts that lead you to think we don't belong together, I need you to tell me and talk to me about them. Because I can't handle you ever ending this, I can handle you getting mad at me but not breaking up with me." Derek told her reaching for her hand and placing soft kiss on it.

"I promise." She told him with a smile.

"We still have time, we could have morning sex." He told her nuzzling her neck with his stubbly cheeks.

"Derek," She giggled. "You said you were tired from the sex last night."

"Never tired for sex." He told her covering her body with his and kissing her passionately.

Meredith let the feelings take over her thought and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with equal passion.

* * *

"Derek, I swear if you do not speed and get us there on time I will withhold sex from you for two weeks! I can't be late again!" She yelled at him as they pulled away from their house.

"Mer, calm down we still have twenty minutes." He told her.

"And it takes thirty to get there." Meredith told him.

"Only when there is traffic." He told her.

"What the hell does this look like to you? We're in traffic Derek!" Meredith continued to yell as they pulled up to a light and she motioned to the long line of cars around them.

"Sorry Mer, it's not my fault all of Seattle is going to work right now." He told her.

"No, but it's your fault you wanted to have sex three times this morning." She snapped.

"So, it's a bad thing that I want you and love you and want to show you that?" he asked.

"Ugh, no. You know I love the sex, but I can't be late again!" She told him realizing he wasn't at fault.

"I know, which is why I am trying my hardest to get around this traffic." He said as he passed a Toyota car. "Damn foreign cars." He muttered. "You'll get there on time." He reassured her as they drove in his black Malibu.

* * *

"Grey, just in time." Bailey said as Meredith pulled her hair up into a pony tail and joined the group by the locker room door.

"Yang you're on Shepherd's case again…Grey…"

"Again? Why can't I be on Cardio? I rather work on something more interesting than brains." Cristina said harshly.

"Excuse me? Oh I know you aren't talking to me like that. When have you ever picked what your job for the day is? You all are damn fools if you think you can pick. For the comment Yang you can find yourself working in the pit, and on scut. Enjoy." Bailey demanded.

Cristina rolled her eyes and brushed past the group of interns.

"Like I was saying, Grey since Cristina is in the pit you can be on Shepherd's case, you're familiar with his latest case on Elizabeth Leonard?" Bailey asked.

"Of course, four year old female with a small brain tumor in her temporal lobe." Meredith explained.

"Perfect, go." Bailey ordered.

Meredith rushed from the locker room and went to the room Derek was at with their patient. She entered to find a little girl with light brown curls sitting on the bed pointing to her book and chatting away to Derek about he colors and animals.

"Dr. Grey." Derek said looking up at her and sharing a smile with her. She returned the smile and grabbed the chart to read it over.

"Ok, so we're going to continue to run some labs to check the location of the tumor but, if it's where it seems to be and the size is small then we should be able to remove it without any complications. I've seen this kind of tumor many times and have removed them successfully. Dr. Grey here will take Elizabeth down to run the labs and we'll go from there." Derek told the parents with a smile.

"Elizabeth, this is Dr. Grey, can you say Dr. Grey?" Derek asked her.

"Dr. Gway." The little girl said with a smile as she looked up at Meredith.

"That's right, well she's going to take you for a little ride through the hospital and then we're going to fix your boo boo." Derek told her.

"Ok," the little girl said as she turned to her book.

"Hi Elizabeth." Meredith greeted as the parents left the room allowing Meredith to get her ready for labs.

"Hi," the little girl said shyly.

"What are you reading?" Meredith asked.

"Pooh," the patient told Meredith.

"Are you learning your colors?" Meredith asked as she began to move the gurney and flashed Derek a smile as she passed him and her way down the hall towards the elevator.

"I know my colors. That's bue, that's red, orange, wellow, and green!" she told Meredith with excitement as she pointed to all the colors.

"What's that other one?" Meredith asked.

"Puple." The little girl said as she pointed to the last colored dot.

"Very good. Do you know all the characters?" Meredith asked her as she pushed the gurney onto the elevator.

"Pooh is the bear, Tiger is the tiger he likes to bounce, Rabbit is boring, and Piglet is my favrite. He's pink." The little girl told Meredith.

"That's right. What does Pooh like?" Meredith asked.

"Honey!" Elizabeth answered excitedly.

"Good job! You know your stuff. Ok, now I need you to hand me your book while you go through the ride ok? I'm going to lay you down on the table and you have to try extra extra hard to not move. Can you do that for me?" Meredith asked.

"But if it a ride how come I can't move?" she asked.

"Well, because this ride is a quiet one. It's lets us get pictures of your brain so we can find your boo boo." Meredith tried to explain. She looked up to the room on the other side of the glass and noticed Derek standing there looking at her lovingly.

"And fwix it?" She asked with her doe eyes looking up at her.

"Exactly. So lay back and we'll be done soon. Ok? I'll be right over there on the other side. If you need me just tell me and I'll come over to you, ok?" Meredith asked gently. This little girl was so cute; it was so unfair that she had a brain tumor.

"Okey dokey." The little girl responded bursting in a giggle as Meredith tickled her tummy once she lay down.

"Ok, here we go. I'll see you soon." Meredith told her in a soothing voice before pressing the button causing the bed to move. Meredith exited the room and entered the room with the scans.

"Hey," she greeted Derek as she came in and sat in the seat placed in front of computer screen that would show the scans once they came in.

"Hey yourself. I saw you with her, Mer, you were amazing. She loves you and you explained everything so well." Derek told her as he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on top of her head.

"Thank you, she's going to be fine though right? I mean, she's just so young and innocent. She doesn't deserve this at all." Meredith said with sadness in her eyes.

"Yeah, look at that. It's not in a too dangerous area and it's small. I can easily remove that without her having any problems. And the great thing is she probably won't remember much about this happening since she's so young. And because of her age, her brain will heal even faster." Derek explained to her in amazement.

"That's great! Can I go get her out now?" Meredith asked happy that the little girl would be ok.

"Yeah, go ahead. You'll scrub in on the surgery." Derek told her with a smile and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Ok, thank you." Meredith told him.

Meredith walked in the room to get Elizabeth as Derek stood amazed at how great Meredith was with little kids. She didn't give herself credit for being so great with kids but she really was. He loved watching her with kids and he couldn't stop himself from imagining her with their kids. He suddenly felt the desperate need and want to propose to her, and soon.

She exited the room with Elizabeth and brought the gurney towards him.

"Hey Elizabeth, great job in there. After we're done fixing your boo boo you can get a sucker. Does that sound good?" he asked.

"Yep!" the little girl cheered as she looked through her book again. She then looked up at Derek. "Dr. Shep, are you Dr. Gway's prince?" she asked sweetly.

"Well, I guess in a way I am. But really, she's my princess." Derek told her winking at Meredith as she blushed. She had never thought of her life as a fairytale.

"Do you wove her like my daddy woves my mommy?" she asked.

"I do," Derek told her.

"Are you like my mommy and daddy? They wear rings." She told them.

"Not yet." He said. "Soon," he said.

"Do your eyes twinkle wif her?" she asked.

"All the time." Derek answered honestly flashing Meredith a smile.

"Dr. Gway, do you wove Dr. Shep?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yeah, I do." Meredith answered.

"Is he your prince?" she asked.

"I guess in a way he is," Meredith told her.

"Good, I hope you guys end up like my mommy and daddy and have a girl. Then maybe if we're still friends I can pway with her." Said Elizabeth. Meredith and Derek shared a loving smile and held back a laugh at the cute little girl.

"That sounds good," Meredith answered before beginning to move the gurney down the hall.

Derek went to talk to Elizabeth's room to talk to her parents and Meredith went to book the OR.

After she booked the OR she realized it was her lunch break and headed to the cafeteria and sat with her friends for lunch.

"Hey, how's your case?" Izzie asked.

"Good, we're going to be able to fix everything and she'll be a perfect little girl afterwards. She's so cute." Meredith told Izzie, George, and Alex. Cristina wasn't there.

"That's great! She's so young. You get to scrub in?" George asked.

"Yeah, but I'll probably just observe." Meredith said as she ate a fry.

"Still, that's bad ass." Alex said.

"I hate the pit." Cristina said bringing her negative attitude to the table. Everyone just looked at her, not saying a thing. She had been bitchy the past couple days.

"What the hell is wrong?" Cristina asked.

No one answered once again and she just rolled her eyes and muttered a whatever.

"Did something happen?" she asked again.

"You've been a total bitch the past two days Cristina!" Izzie told her.

"No I haven't." she replied.

Meredith annoyed with the whole conversation stood up and left the table saying her goodbyes to Izzie, George and Alex.

* * *

Elizabeth's surgery had gone perfectly with no complications and she woke up once the anesthetic wore off. Meredith checked on her one last time and filled out the rest of her chart before heading to the locker room. Derek was talking to her parents when she left and they planned on meeting in the lobby before leaving.

She entered the room and whished she had waited ten more minutes. Cristina was in there changing out of her dirty scrubs into her black sweater and jeans. Meredith decided on ignoring her and continuing with her plans. She knew it was childish to ignore her and give her the silent treatment, but she was at a loss of words. She didn't deserve any of Cristina's harsh words, and she wasn't about to apologize or talk to her when she did nothing wrong.

Cristina eyed her quickly and continued changing. Apparently, she wasn't budging either. Meredith let out a deep sigh then changed from her scrubs. She heard Cristina let out a soft laugh and turned to her direction.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"Nothing, just what could you possibly be sighing about? The perfect surgery you got because you sleep with the head of Neuro?" Cristina huffed.

"What the hell is your problem? Why are you persistent on walking around here being bitchy all the time? I did nothing to you! And you didn't want to work with Derek, so don't bring that up. Oh, and you are sleeping with the head of Cardio, so don't give me that shit either!" Meredith fired back.

"Go away Meredith," Cristina said annoyed.

"Whatever, you want to stomp around here and be a bitch? Fine! But don't take it out on people who did absolutely nothing to you!" Meredith said slamming her locker and leaving the locker room.

She met Derek in the lobby and instantly he caught on that something was wrong. "What's up?" he asked concerned.

"Cristina, she was in the locker room and yelled at me again because I sighed. Apparently since I stole her surgery today and since I sleep with you I'm the person who deserves to be bitched at." Meredith said with a huff and crossed her arms over her chest like a five year old being scolded.

Derek tried not to laugh at the image of Meredith in front of him, but she looked so cute. He wondered and hoped that their daughter would carry that same cute look when she got in trouble or upset.

"Mer, you did nothing wrong. Cristina was just being a bitch. She was supposed to be on my services. I was actually surprised to see you there instead. What happened with that?" he asked her as he took her hand and walked with her out to the car looking for more privacy.

"Bailey told her whose services she was on and she talked back saying she didn't want to work on those services. Bailey then told her that she could work in the pit all day and take over scut duty. So I was assigned to your services." Meredith explained entering the car with him following.

"Well I'm glad. You were perfect with Elizabeth, Meredith. I mean it. She loved you. You're going to be an amazing mother to our children some day." He told her lovingly turning in his seat to face her.

"Thank you, she was so cute." Meredith said taking in the loving look he was giving her. She loved that man and the way he looked at her sometimes took her breath away.

"I love you, so much." Derek told her as he leaned in a pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

"I love you too, lets go home." Meredith said with a smile as she grabbed his hand and held it in her own.

**There you go!! Finally got it all down! I hope you liked it. I'm hoping to get more reviews this chapter. I figured maybe last time I didn't because of Thanksgiving? I hope you review though this time! I also hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving. **

**REVIEW!!!!**

**Melissa**


	35. Making Mends

**Thank you to those many people who reviewed! You are absolutely my favorite people! ( : I know you guys want more action in this story probably and I have some stuff planned soon I just can't figure out how to get there yet. I'm deciding on them still. Hope you enjoy the chapter!!**

"Are you watching me sleep again?" Meredith woke abruptly at the feeling that someone was hovering over her and watching her.

"You're cute when you sleep." Derek told her as he hid the truth from her. It was just, how could a small woman like her snore so loudly? It baffled him.

"Nuh huh," she said in an annoyed tone, "there's more to it. I'm not buying that line again. Tell me right now why you have been watching me sleep? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" she asked annoyed.

"Well…it's just…" he stammered.

"Spit it out Derek!" she told him frustrated.

"You just…you snore…a little…a lot actually." He added.

"What?! I do not, Derek! That's crazy." She told him not believing him.

"It's true, Meredith. You snore. Normally I'm able to fall asleep before you start, but these past couple nights I haven't had much luck." He told her.

"Then what do you do?" she asked.

"Well, I either stay in bed and tough it out or I'll go sleep on the couch and get back in bed before you wake up and…"

"And watch me sleep." She added with a hurt facial expression. "You leave me?"

"Not like that Mer, I just go sleep on the couch for a little bit." He told her.

"I can't believe this Derek," she told him.

"It's not a big deal, it's just something you do." He told her kissing her.

"Well you know what?" she asked annoyed. "Your morning breath isn't so great, if you're up so early before me why don't you brush your teeth before kissing me?!" she said annoyed as she pushed off of his chest and got off the bed moving into the bathroom.

Derek instantly cupped his hand over his mouth and let out a breath to smell it. He couldn't believe that she had a pet peeve against him too.

* * *

Derek was at the nurse's station signing a chart when he noticed his intern for the day standing next to him. It was Cristina.

"Dr. Yang, go run some labs." He ordered her.

"Ex…excuse me?" she asked him.

"I didn't stutter, go run labs. I don't need your services right now." He told her.

"Is this for what I said?" Cristina asked him. "Cause if so that is unfair for you to punish me for my personal life." She told him. "What…what are you doing?" she asked as she felt him pull on her arm to the nearest conference room.

"You didn't do anything to _your_ personal life. You affected _mine_ and _Meredith's_. That's where I draw the line. I could care less about what you do in your spare time, but when you go affecting my relationship with Meredith and making her doubt herself, that's where I draw a line. You know how vulnerable she is about her past, her parents, her life and our relationship. So why, _why _would you make her question everything?! My family loved her, there was no need for you to add negative thoughts to her brain and bring up her childhood. You also know how serious I am about her, but yet you still butt in and added more thoughts to her brain causing her to think she didn't deserve me and that we wouldn't work!" Derek yelled angrily.

"I've never liked you as a friend to Meredith; you are so selfish and judgmental towards her. But, because of Meredith I haven't said anything to you. Well that's changed, because you almost ruined my life by your stupid comments to her. I almost lost the only thing that mattered to me in this world by your stupidity. You need to apologize to her. And you need to fix this now. Because even though I fixed her dark thoughts that night and she and I are still happy, she still needs her best friend and I can't fix that. You need to. You need to push aside whatever the hell it was that caused you to lash out on her and you need to apologize. And you better not tell her about me wanting to propose or I will request you for my services and you will run labs for me for a whole month or more if I feel like it." Derek told her crossing his arms across his chest. "Do you understand?"

"Yes…yes…Dr. Shepherd." She told him taking in all he had said before pulling the door back and exiting.

Derek let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he had been holding and released it as he sat down in a chair before raking his hands through his hair.

* * *

Meredith was eating lunch with the rest of the interns excluding Cristina when the fierce Asian woman entered the cafeteria and came up to Meredith, looking down at her with a determined look in her eye.

"What?" Meredith asked her annoyed.

"I need to…umm…talk to you." Cristina told her. "Can we maybe go…somewhere…"

"I guess." Meredith told her, not really seeing the point of continuing on this silence between them.

She followed behind Cristina until they made it into a small on call room. Meredith sat on one bed as Cristina was placed across her on another one.

"He's planning on proposing." Cristina told her. Meredith snapped her head up unsure of what that meant, who that was referring to or anything at all. Was it Derek? Was he planning on proposing? Why would he tell Cristina if he was? A million questions ran through her head at the thoughts.

"Who?" Meredith asked.

"Uhm…Burke." She told Meredith honestly.

"Ok…" Meredith let out as the surprise feeling of disappointment hit her that it wasn't Derek.

"That's why I've been a…bitch…" Cristina told her.

"You've been a bitch because the man you are in a relationship with wants to propose and be with you forever?" Meredith asked confused.

"Yeah…I…don't…I don't know what…I don't know how I want to answer him. I can't…I don't do weddings! I don't do emotions or any of that crap and that is what a marriage is. I haven't even told him I love him, how the hell can he be thinking about marriage?" Cristina wondered.

"How did you find out?" Meredith asked.

"I found the ring in with his scrub caps." She told her.

"And you don't want to marry him?" Meredith asked.

"No…I don't…I don't know." She told Meredith.

"Do you love him?" Meredith asked.

"I think…I think so." Cristina admitted.

"Well maybe just wait till he asks, then you guys can talk about it and you can decide then." Meredith told Cristina. No matter what she would always be her person.

"Ok, I can do that." Cristina said with a nod of her head.

Silence passed between them and Meredith couldn't help but think of all the things said to her from Cristina just days ago. "Cristina…" Meredith said in the silence.

"I know. I was a bitch. I'm sorry Mer, I just…I found the ring and freaked out which led to me getting mad at you because you were talking about your bright and shiny relationship with Derek and his perfect family and how they loved you and I just…lashed out at you. I took all my frustration out on you I guess because I was…jealous." Cristina admitted embarrassed.

"What are you jealous of?" Meredith asked incredulously.

"That you can open up. That you've changed. You're no longer dark and twisty Meredith, you're bright and freaking shiny. And that's a good thing Mer, don't think it isn't…but I just don't understand how that happened. I mean if you were in my position and you found Derek with a ring then you would already know your answer. That's not…me." Cristina told her.

"You're right Cristina…that's not you. You wouldn't be you if you were emotional and knew what you wanted in a relationship. Derek he…he made me into the person I am. I don't mean that in a bad way either, I mean that in a way that makes me happy. He brought me happiness and love that I have never known or received before. I wanted to change for him, he didn't force me to. But if he had a ring for me, I would…I would be thrilled. I want a future and marriage with Derek, but if you don't want one and can't picture one with Burke then you need to tell him that." Meredith told Cristina.

"Thank you Meredith, I'm sorry I let my rage out on you." Cristina told her.

"Just don't do it ever again, I almost ended things with Derek." Meredith admitted.

"What?" Cristina asked.

"Dark and twisty thoughts came and I told him we needed to end it. He wouldn't let me of course and pushed through my barriers and got me out of my twistiness, but I know I scared him." Meredith said.

"I'm sorry." Cristina repeated. Silence filled again, but this time tension was relieved.

"We don't have to do the whole emotional hug thing do we?" Cristina asked.

"We don't have to do the emotional, but I am going to hug you." Meredith said as she came over and embraced her best friend. "I love you Cristina Yang." Meredith told her friend with a smile as she let go of her friend after she finally returned the hug.

Cristina just rolled her eyes before muttering, "Yeah, me too."

* * *

"Meredith." She heard an oddly familiar voice from behind her. She turned and saw an older man she used to associate as her father.

"Thatcher." She stated. She didn't care what he had to say. "Why are you here?"

"Uh…Molly…she's…having her baby." He told her. She knew he wasn't there for her, but she couldn't help but secretly wish he was there to fix things between them or somehow reach out to her. But, of course he was there for his daughter. His better freaking daughter.

"Oh, ok then. I'll…uh…see ya around then." Meredith muttered before trying to turn away.

"Meredith, please wait…" he called to her desperately. She turned around and met his eyes with a cold look.

"I'm…sorry about that night you came…I was just so surprised to see you…I didn't know how to act." He told her.

"Yeah, well you've never really known how to act like a father around me since you left." Meredith bit back.

"I know…and I'm sorry about that. I really am…but…I couldn't stay with your mother all those years ago. We weren't happy." He told her.

"I know all about her affair, what I don't know or understand is how you could have left your only daughter to stay and live in that situation with an incapable mother." Meredith said before turning quickly on her feet and leaving him before he could call her back.

Her feet carried her to Derek's office and she entered without knocking and quickly made her way into Derek's lap as he sat at his desk. He didn't ask questions, just wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. He knew whatever it was she was upset about she would tell him, she just needed to feel comforted and loved before. He continued to run his hands up and down her spine feeling her instantly relax in his arms. He buried his nose into her hair and took in a deep breath of the scent he loved so much. He needed this just as much as she did.

"Mer…" he said softly after holding her for a while. He couldn't help but be concerned and worried.

"I'm sorry for just bursting in here and doing this…I just…needed you." She told him as she started to pull away.

"No, you're not leaving. I need this too. You can come to me at any time Mer, you know that. But, are you ok?" he asked wrapping her in his arms tighter.

"No, my father is here." She stated.

"Oh," he breathed out.

"Yeah, he tried talking to me." She told him.

"What did he say?" he asked gently.

"That he was sorry for how he acted a couple weeks ago, that he didn't know how to act and was just surprised to see me. But that doesn't make up for all the crap he did to me when I was younger. He's never acted like a father to me. Never. I don't think he even cared about me at all growing up. I mean, how could he if he just left like that without turning around or thinking twice. He told me he left because of my mom and the situation, but he never thought about what that would do to me. He could've taken me with him. But he didn't. God, why is he here!" she finished her ramble and the stress came back again.

"I'm so sorry, Mer. I really am. Did you ask him why he was here?" he asked her as he tried to relax her again.

"He's here with Molly, apparently she's having her baby or whatever…" Meredith told him.

"I'm sorry Mer, I don't know what else to say other than I love you. I love you so much and I will never leave you." He told her kissing the top of her head.

"I love you too, I just…freaked out and needed you to hold me I guess. Thank you for being here." She told him.

"I will always be here for you Mer." He told her.

"Forever?" she asked him.

"Forever and always," he answered her with a smile.

"I love you, so much." She told him as she kissed him passionately allowing the moment to take over.

"I love you too," he told her breathlessly and holding her tighter. He needed to propose and soon. It was beginning to be a thought that constantly took over his thoughts. He just needed to find the perfect way to do that.

**There it is!! Sorry it took so long!! The Holiday's are coming and between school, work, and shopping I haven't had a lot of time to write. I'm sorry for such the wait, but there it is! I hope you guys liked it and I hope you review. I've noticed I've gotten fewer reviews and I hope that's just the result of the holiday's and not my writing. **

**Also, I've noticed updates for other stories are fewer as well, also for some reason I'm not being notified about a couple stories when they are updated like I have previously. If you guys are having the same problem let me know. I can't figure out why. **

**Ok, here is my question for you guys! Do you want me to set up the proposal like the elevator love letter? Or my own way? It's up to you, let me know though because I want to put that in the story and SOON!!**

**Well, anyway. Thank you for reading!! I appreciate it greatly! REVIEW PLEASE!! **


	36. First Christmas

**Hope everyone had a great Christmas! I got the first two seasons of Grey's Anatomy to go along with my season three! (: Thank you so much for reviewing!! I love reading what you guys have to say! I haven't decided about the proposal, but I appreciate your guys' opinions and by the sounds of it you guys really don't care how it happens, just so it does. Which is nice, lol! So thank you! **

**Here is the next chapter! It's probably shorter then normal.**

* * *

"I want to go home." Meredith told Derek at lunch as they sat in the crowded cafeteria and enjoyed their food.

"Only five more hours Mer, then we'll be home for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. It'll be perfect." He told her.

"I don't know how to celebrate Christmas, what are we going to do?" she asked.

"Well, we should probably unwrap our gifts to each other, and then we could watch some Christmas movies together, eat tons of food, play in the snow, and maybe even have some Christmas sex. We can do whatever you want Mer," Derek told her with a smile. He was so happy to be spending Christmas with her. If he couldn't be with his family, spending it with Mer would make him more then happy.

"Damn Ellis Grey for ruining my childhood." Meredith muttered.

"Mer, it's fine. I'm going to make sure you have an amazing Christmas." He told her as he grabbed her hand and ran his fingers up and down the palm in a soothing motion.

"Thank you, but I should be normal and know how to celebrate." Meredith told him. "She didn't do anything with me when I was younger. Did you know I never played any sports? None. I didn't even learn how to swim or ride a bike when I was younger." Meredith told him as she thought about her childhood.

"Never? Do you know how to swim now?" he asked her finding it hard to believe she didn't know how to swim.

"Nope." She told him as a hint of pink touched her cheeks at admitting that. It was embarrassing that she had never learnt how to swim. She was a grown woman, and should know how to do the basic swimming.

"Wow, ok so I have a lot to teach you when the weather gets nice again. Or until we sneak away and go to a warm place." He told her with a brow wiggle.

She couldn't help herself but let out a giggle at his look. She loved him and how he could always make her feel better. "You're really going to teach me how to swim?" she asked.

"Yep, and all the other things you missed out on. It'll be fun and adventurous." He told her. "Anything you really, really want to learn?" he asked.

"I want to go skiing, I've never been before." She told him.

"That we can do now," he told her. "We can go on a day off,"

"That sounds perfect." Meredith admitted.

"Don't worry Mer, you're going to experience all the fun things with me, starting with Christmas." He told her lovingly as he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Thank you." Meredith told him lovingly.

"No need to thank me, it's going to be a lot of fun to see you learn how to ski and swim." He told her.

"You can't laugh at me if I fall." She told him.

"Ok," He agreed in a lame attempt, there was no way he was _not_ going to laugh at her if she fell.

He'd just hide it from her.

* * *

"Lets stop on the way home and get some things from the pet store for Doc for his first Christmas." Meredith told Derek as they settled in their car and started their trip home.

"Ok, what were you thinking?" he asked.

"How bout some new bones and toys to go in his new stocking?" Meredith asked.

"I still can't believe you made stockings." Derek told her.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because, no offense, Mer, but you aren't really that crafty." He told her.

"Shut up Derek. I made your stocking." She told him.

"You did, and it's beautiful and I am very happy that you made a stocking for me and hung it next to yours. It's very husband and wife like. I love it, I'm just a little surprised you did it." he told her in all honesty.

"Why? Are you saying I can't make stuff?" she asked. "Just because I don't cook Derek doesn't mean I can't do other things. I'm not incapable of all household duties." She told him.

"You did a great job, Mer. They look beautiful. You can make our kids some when we get married and start a family." He told her.

"No." she said shortly as she looked out the window.

"What?" he asked unsure what the no was for.

"I'm not making anymore. We can get someone else to make theirs or buy them. Maybe your mom will make some." She told him.

"Why?" He asked, glad that the no wasn't for getting married or starting a family.

"Because then I'm going to have to deal with your teasing with every stocking I make. In fact, I'll go home and throw yours away and you can buy yourself your own or have your mom send you your old one or something. I don't care anymore," she told him with her arms crossed as they pulled into the parking lot. "Stay here, I'll run into the store real quick." She told him opening the door and slamming it shut.

Derek let out a deep sigh. He had just dug himself a hole and he had no idea how. He didn't mean anything by his teasing. He really didn't, he was just joking around with her. Apparently she didn't like the joking too much. He had no idea how he was going to get out of this one. He didn't want her to be mad at him on Christmas eve. They were supposed to be celebrating with sex and tons of food and happy moments all night and all day. This would definitely damper their day.

He watched her check out at the cashier and exit the doors as she made her way back to the car not looking any happier. He was screwed.

"Hey." He greeted warmly as she entered. "What'd you get?" he asked her.

"Bones and toys." She told him.

"Mer, I'm sorry. I really am." He told her.

"Yeah, ok. Lets go." She told him.

"No, talk to me. What did I do wrong? I don't want to be fighting on Christmas Eve, I want to make love to you, and watch Christmas movies with hot chocolate and our dog on the couch with us. I want to spend time with you and spend it being in love, not fighting. Please." He begged.

"You know how I am about the holidays. You know I am not the most knowledgeable when it comes to this stuff. You have come into my life being all bright and shiny with the perfect childhood memories about Christmas, and I don't have any of that. So I thought since this was your first Christmas away from home that I would make you a freakin stocking to hang with mine that Izzie made for me and also make one for our dog. But you have continued to joke around with it, and I thought I was doing holiday-like. So screw you Derek." She huffed.

"Mer, I'm so sorry. I'm such an ass. Please forgive me. I _do_ love the stocking, and I love the thought behind it. It's so much more special that you made it. I appreciate you trying to make this a great holiday since I'm away from my family, but I'm not even missing them right now." He told her.

"What?" she asked him.

"I'm not even thinking about them or really missing them that much." He told her.

"Why? It's your first holiday without them. You should miss them." she told him.

"But I don't. Because I have you, and I am so happy and excited to make our own traditions and memories. Yeah, I guess it's going to be really different without my mom and sisters and their kids, but I would much rather spend it with you, in our home, with our dog, and just do whatever we want and relax." He told her lovingly as he turned her to face him and placed a finger under her chin to bring it closer to his lips. He brushed her lips lightly with his and pulled back to smile at her, hoping to see one appear on hers as well.

"Thank you," she said softly. "I'm sorry for getting mad at you, that's the last thing I want on Christmas. I want my first Christmas with you to be happy. And maybe we'll go see your family next Christmas." She told him.

"Are you sure, Mer? We don't have to." He told her.

"If you don't want to then no, but if you want I would be more than willing go see them. It's up to you." She told him.

"God, I love you. So much. You're amazing Mer," he told her.

"I love you too," she said softly as he inched closer to her before latching her lips with his.

* * *

They spent their Christmas Eve curled up on the couch with hot chocolate watching all the classic Christmas movies as Doc laid down by their feet on the couch. It was a perfect night for both of them accompanied by love making until early the next morning. They drifted off into a deep sleep wrapped up in the others arms happy and peaceful.

The next morning Derek woke first and smiled down at his beautiful girl friend that lay in his arms still naked from the night before. He pulled her closer, even though she was as close as possible, and began to place lazy kisses over her naked shoulder, collar bone, cheeks, forehead and placed a final kiss in her blonde curls.

"Mer," he whispered softly into her ear as his warm breath tickled her.

"Mer, wake up." He whispered again, trying to pull her out of the warmth of sleep.

"No, I'm tired." She grumbled, trying to swat him away.

"Wake up, it's Christmas." He told her.

"And it will be Christmas when I wake up again, leave me alone." She told him as she tried to move away from him. He wouldn't allow her to put any space between them, and pulled her closer so she rested on top of him.

"Derrreeekkkk." She whined as she woke up fully from the restful sleep she was enjoying.

"Mer, it's Christmas, you're supposed to wake up early on this day and be happy about it." he told her.

"Whatever, I was having a really good dream." She told him.

"About me?" he asked with a sparkle of amusement in his eyes.

"No, Mark." She told him in a serious tone as she rested her head on his chest.

"Wh…what?" he stuttered.

"Yeah, he was doing all the things you do to my body, just it was him." She said as she contained her smile under the covers.

"You're kidding, and it's not funny." He told her.

"You're right, I am kidding. But it was just pay back for waking me up from the really really good dream I was having of you." She told him with a smirk as she looked down at him.

"Better be dreaming about me and not Mark." He told her.

"Only you Derek, I love you." She told him. "I'm only yours." She reminded.

"Damn right." He said before claiming her lips with his own. "Now, I'll just have to show you that you're mine and only mine." He told her before flipping her onto her back. A giggle escaped her lips as he flipped her then lowered himself over her body. He kissed her deeply causing her giggles to turn into a moan.

They spent the rest of the early morning enjoying their love and first Christmas morning together.

* * *

"We should go open presents." Derek said as he lay in bed with Meredith after their love making rounds were over, for now at least.

"Ok," she said not moving from his warm embrace.

"Lets go." He told her picking her up with him.

"Derek!" she let out with a giggle as a broad, happy smile graced his lips from that sound. "Put me down, I have to get dressed." She told him.

"I like you better this way." Derek told her.

"I am not opening presents naked Derek," she told him.

He let out a sigh and placed her down on the carpet before moving to his dresser and pulling out two pairs of sweat pants, one for him and one for her. She pulled them on then grabbed his sweat shirt discarded on the floor and pulled it over her head. She was swimming in his clothes, and smelled just like him, she loved it, and by the look on his face he loved seeing her dressed in his clothes too.

They made it to the living room and handed the other their gifts before sitting together on the couch. "Go first, Der." She told him.

"Ok," he said with a smile. He opened the large box and saw a tool box that lay inside.

"This way you have your own tools here and at the trailer." She told him with a smile.

"Thank you, is this also your way of telling me to help around the house with the fixings?" he asked with smile.

"Maybe a little, but I thought you'd like to have your own tools here as well." She told him. "and this box is bigger then the one you have at the trailer."

"I love it, thank you Mer." He told her kissing her in a tender way.

"You're welcome." She said with a smile.

"Open yours now Mer," he told her with a broad smile.

"Ok," She said picking up the rectangular box in front of her.

She opened it and revealed three sexy lingerie in various colors and designed differently. "Is this gift for me or for you?" she asked him with a smile.

"Both, but I thought I'd wrap them anyway." He told her with a chuckle.

"I love them Derek, and I think I'll love your reaction to them even more." She said with a wink.

"Mer," Derek let out in a deep, rough voice.

"Calm down Derek, lets enjoy Christmas a little more. I'll go get Doc his gift." She told him standing up to go to his stocking. She turned back around and went to sit next to him when she saw a small, square, black velvet box sitting there in her seat. She knew instantly what was inside it and turned to look at Derek.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Your real gift." He told her.

"Derek," She said in a whisper as he picked it up and then opened it before getting down on a knee in front of her.

"Mer, I've been thinking about how and when to propose to you. I've thought of big and fancy, in a nice restaurant, romantic and candle lights with tons of flowers, but none of those seemed to fit you…or us. You're such an important person in my life. I love you more than anything, and I know you are the love of my life, my soul mate, and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to marry you, have kids with you, build a house with you, and grow to be a hundred and ten with you and die in your arms. I want a forever with you. So, Meredith, would you marry me?" he asked as he saw tears line her eye lids and felt the same wetness rest on his.

"Yes," she let out in a soft whisper. "Yes, I'll marry you." She said louder and with a broad smile, then letting out a soft giggle as he looked up at her in astonishment. This was his future; she was the future he had always dreamed of.

He pulled the ring out with shaky hands, still emotional, and placed it on her left hand. He looked up at her before standing on his feet and pulling her near him and picking her up before twirling her around. This was pure happiness and bliss. He set her down and kissed her deeply and passionately, more then ever before and felt her return it.

This was perfection.

They pulled away from each other and stared into the others eyes with love reflecting in both of their eyes. This was really happening.

They would get their happy ever after.

"I love you, I love you so much." Derek told her unable to keep the smile off his face.

"I love you too, thank you so much for making this a perfect Christmas." She told him.

"Best Christmas ever," Derek told her before pulling her in for another Earth shattering kiss. He tried to take it further, but felt Meredith pull back.

"What?" he asked looking at her confused.

"I'm going to go try on one of my gifts." She said with a coy smile, picking up the Victoria Secret box and started to move away from him.

"You don't need those right now, you're beautiful in my clothes, and I can't wait that long." He said lowering her onto the couch and began to make love to his fiancé.

This was what Christmas was all about, and they would always remember their first Christmas together.

**So??? How was it? Good? Bad? Boring?**

**I hope you guys liked it. I just started writing then I was writing their proposal. I normally find getting engaged on Christmas really cheesy and not original, but this turned out cuter then I thought. I hope you guys liked it. I enjoyed writing my own for them instead of using the shows, this was more unexpecting and you guys would've known about the elevator one right when I wrote her getting on it, so here you go!**

**Hope you enjoyed it and I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Can't say when I'll update again, it's unknown all the time now. But REVIEW because I love hearing from you! **

**Melissa **


	37. Wishin' and Hopin'

**Hey, you guys still there? I hope! I'm sorry it took so long, but life got to me and has been causing my life to be chaotic, also I just didn't know where I wanted this to go. But, I am moving it along and updating now. Enjoy!**

They were engaged and happy. Life seemed to be going great for them as they shared the wonderful news with their loved ones and friends. Cristina was her normal annoyed, pessimistic self towards the whole situation but she still seemed to let a pinch of happiness through and that was enough for Meredith.

Izzie was her perky, happy self instantly wanting to plan the whole thing in one night. George shared his congratulations, and Alex mumbled something about happiness. Mark slapped Derek on the back and requested to be the best man once again, promising in a joke that he wouldn't sleep with Meredith. That comment caused Derek to get annoyed and just nod his head.

Derek placed calls to his family and they were all equally happy with the news. So life was good.

"You woke up without me." Derek told her as she applied light makeup on in the bathroom and saw his reflection in the mirror.

"Not my fault you're a lazy bum and can't get up for work." She said with a serious tone and straight face though inside she was trying her hardest to not laugh at his sleepy, messed up look and confused expression.

"Hey, I am not lazy. You are the one who normally needs to be nudged and woken up in the morning for work." He told her with a snap. "Why are you up so early?"

"Uh, the nursing home called. I have to go see my mom for some reason. They wouldn't tell me." She told him.

"Oh, well do you want me to go in with you?" he asked.

"No, it's fine. I can do this, nothing has probably changed so it'll be fine. Just let Bailey know that I'll be late for rounds and anything else going on." She told him.

"Ok, are you leaving now or do you have some time?" he asked.

"You aren't getting any morning sex." She told him with a look.

"I wasn't thinking that…ok yeah I was." He said trying to get a laugh out of her.

Her giggle escaped her mouth and echoed through out the small room as Derek pulled her close to him and placed several kisses on her lips, neck, cheeks and forehead.

"I have to go," Meredith said as she tried to push him away.

"Uh, fine. But I will see you later and tonight we will finish this." He told her with a hopeful smile.

"Ok, I love you." She said with a smile. She loved being happy with him.

"I love you too," he replied.

"She woke up this morning and was completely aware. She's her old self. We don't know why, it's just a gift." The nursing home lady told Meredith as they looked in on her mother's room to watch her pace.

"What?" Meredith asked. "How long will it last?"

"It varies, we don't quite know. But not long." Explained the woman.

"So she's lucid, she remembers?" Meredith asked.

"Pretty much everything, except for the last five years and she doesn't know she has Alzheimer's. We thought she should hear it from you." Said the woman with a gentle tone.

"So she'll know me." Meredith stated.

"She's been asking for you." The lady told her before leaving and letting Meredith decide on what to do.

Crap. Meredith had to go in there and tell her mother all that had happened in the past five years. Remind her of Richard, and their fight and the fact that she was happy and engaged.

Here goes nothing…

"She has chest pains." Meredith told Burke as she exited the ambulance with her mother being carried in on a gurney. She had been in the middle of reminding her mother of all that had happened and explained that she had Alzheimer's and that's when her mother began to have chest pains.

Now she was at Seattle Grace hospital with her mother as a patient, and her mother was lucid. Today sucked.

On top of that her mother was asking for Richard. This was all bad. She was bringing up the past and asking questions and now she was talking to Richard. She made a subtle dig at him about Adele and now she was being wheeled to her private room. A gift. That's what Richard had said it was.

She was in the best hands. Meredith knew that. She knew Burke and Cristina would take care of her heart and she would be fine. She would return back to the nursing home and everything would be fine.

"Hey Mer!" Cristina called out to her as Meredith stood outside by the pit just taking in some much needed air. This was all too much. This whole thing was too much. Where was Derek? She needed him, but yet she didn't want him to be trapped into this whole mess and feel the wrath of her mother. She didn't want to explain their relationship to her mother when she would probably just end up forgetting anyway. "I've been looking for you. Burke has me working on your mom. Are you ok?"

"I'm avoiding the gift." Meredith explained.

"Well, your gift wants to meet Derek." Cristina told her.

"What? What did you say?"

"No no, not Derek your fiancé, Derek Shepherd the neurosurgeon." Cristina confirmed. "She's going to know he's your fiancé, she's got waves. She knows things. I'm in love with her by the way."

"She has that affect on people who aren't her daughter." Meredith grumbled.

"This is your chance. You should talk to her." Cristina told her.

"She has this thing for being disappointed in me." Meredith explained.

"You're a doctor now; parents don't get disappointed about their doctor daughters." Cristina told her.

"Not this parent, if you can even call her that." Meredith said annoyed as she made her way back into the hospital.

She was with her mother now, trying to enjoy this gift. Her mother wanted her to talk.

"So, tell me about yourself." Her mother simply said as they sat in her private room.

"Well…"

"What's your life like? I really do want to know you, Meredith." Her mother said when she didn't say anything.

"Well, I'm engaged."

"Does he understand the demands of your career?" her mother asked with a sharp tone.

"Yes, he's a doctor too. Actually he's…"

"Have you chosen a specialty?" Her mother interrupted. No longer wanting to know more about the engagement or man she was in love with.

"Not yet."

"Why not? Cristina has. She's chosen cardio." Her mother snapped, disappointment evident already on her feautures.

"Yeah, well I guess I'm just waiting to be inspired. I'm happy now, I've found who I am and plus I think when you have someone in your life who you love, you really love…it's just…I'm really happy." Meredith explained, hoping for once they could have a moment. A special moment where most moms would be thrilled to hear their daughter say things like their happy and in love.

"What happened to you?"

"What do you mean?" Meredith asked unsure of the question.

"You're happy? You're happy now?" Her mother asked with a mocking chuckle. "What happened to you? The Meredith I used to know was determined, a fighter. You've gone soft! Talking about some guy you're engaged to. You're waiting for inspiration? I have a disease, isn't that inspirational?"

"Mom…"

"Meredith, anyone can fall in love and be blindly happy. But not everyone can pick up a scalpel and save a life. I raised you to be an extraordinary human being. So imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years and find out that you're no more than ordinary. What happened to you?!" Her mother continued to yell.

Meredith felt the soft, wet tears come to her eyes. She pushed them to the back of her eyes and moved from her seat. She needed to find Derek. To warn him of her mother and let him prepare for what was going to happen.

"Derek!" she called as she spotted the man she wanted to spend forever with in the hallway walking away from the nurses station.

"Mer, hey I've been looking for you. I heard your mother's here. Is that what the nursing home wanted to talk to you about?" he asked concerned for her. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. I don't want to talk to her, but everyone is telling me to enjoy this gift and I can't. Look, I don't want to talk about it right now. She wants to meet you. She knows I'm engaged but she doesn't know it's you." Meredith told him quickly as they walked towards her room. "Keep it that way. She's charming, she's nice and then suddenly she's the enemy."

"I'm meeting the enemy?" Derek asked with smirk.

"Just don't get personal." She told him.

"You're being ridiculous." He told teased.

"I am not being ridiculous." She told him.

"Hey, it's going to be fine." He told her moving closer to her. He hadn't seen her since that morning and she was called in to go to the nursing home.

"Just be careful." She warned.

"Mer, I've met girlfriends' parents before. It will be fine." He told her.

"This is so not the same thing. We're engaged. She won't care about that. She just cares that you are an attending and I'm an intern. She's horrible." Meredith told him.

"It will be fine." He assured once again as he enveloped her in a hug and placed a soft kiss onto her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, and good luck."

"Dr. Grey! I'm Doctor Shepherd for you Neuro consult." He told her.

"Hello," she answered.

Meredith looked similar to her mother. He could see the similarities as he sat down across from her on the bed, ready to explain anything she wanted to know. He got involved with this case because of his love for Meredith, and he could deal with her so-called wrath as well because of Meredith. He'd do anything for her.

"How about a MRI now that I'm lucid?" she asked him.

"A MRI isn't going to show us anything. No test will." He told her softly.

"So after five years there is still no advancement. I don't understand how you can work with people every day with this disease."

"Oh, actually I don't. I just took a special interest in this case because of Meredith." He told her. Ever since Meredith's mother had come into the hospital over a year ago he had tried to help out as much as possible.

"You're what happened to her." She stated.

"I'm sorry…" Derek said confused.

"You're here for her. I thought you were here to help me. You're an attending, she's an intern."

"Dr. Grey, I don't think you understand."

"I understand perfectly. You want to be admired. You want someone who will follow you around and be amazed by what you do. No wonder she's so unfocused. You don't care about the damage you do to her along the way. Just as long as you get admired." She scolded.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Grey, you don't understand. I love your daughter. Not because she admires me, because if anything she doesn't. She keeps me focused, she keeps me level headed. She helps me. And I do the same for her. We work together, here we're professional and at home we're a couple in love. I plan to marry your daughter. I proposed and we're going to get married, it doesn't matter what you think. She is extraordinary. She's worked so hard and gotten so far. If you don't recognize that or realize how wonderful she is, then that's on you and you alone." Derek said angrily before leaving the room.

How did Meredith grow up with that? She was horrible, and he knew she treated Meredith that way as well. He suddenly felt so much more love, if possible, towards her. He couldn't imagine her going through that. Hearing that and all the things he imagined Meredith had to go through only made him want so much more for their future. He wanted to make sure their lifetime together would make up for all the things she went through as a child.

* * *

Derek was paged down to the OR room, apparently a patient that was literally toxic had been operated on and when the Chief and his staff opened her up, they collapsed from the disease. So now, here he was reporting down there to hear what Burke had to say.

"They collapsed, how do we go in there with her open?" Burke asked as Derek came to him.

"We have to find a way to get in there and finish that surgery." He said.

"Derek, I heard about something going on down here, how can I help?" he heard Meredith ask.

He turned to see her already in her scrubs and ready to work. She couldn't work right now, her mother was in the hospital. This was Meredith's way of avoding and even though he had just yelled at her mother and felt horrible for Meredith, he had to act professional and right now they were under stress on figuring out how to get in there.

"Meredith, you shouldn't be working right now, you have the day off." He told her.

"I want to work, Derek, tell me what I can do." She said.

"You can go find Bailey and report to her." He told her in a sharp tone. He instantly hated himself for snapping and wanted to turn to her and fix what he had just done. But with a flash of hurt and dirty look directed on her face towards him and a few quick seconds and she was gone.

Damn it.

"I'm not sure refusing treatment is what you want to do." Meredith told her mother. Her mother needed surgery if she wanted to get better.

"It doesn't matter, it's really about what you want, Meredith!" her mother exclaimed.

"You think I like making these decisions. Being called by the nursing home asking about your medicine or if I want to give the nurse who changes you a Christmas bonus. You think I like making these decisions? Well, I don't. I do it because there is nobody else. Because you have managed to alienate everyone in your life. So I am the only one left to deal with it all." Meredith told her as angry tears sprang up once again.

"You want to know why I'm so unfocused? Why I'm so…ordinary? You want to know what happened to me? It wasn't Derek. He's been perfect through this whole thing. He's helped me become a person instead of the robot you tried to raise me as. He didn't do any of that to me, you did! You happened to me!"

"Then let me refuse the surgery." Ellis said. It was like she wasn't hearing anything her daughter said.

"No," Meredith fired back.

"Why not?"

"Because, killing my mother, is not going to be another thing that happens to me." Meredith fired at her before leaving the room quickly as tears slid down her face.

She ran. She ran down the hallway and into the nearest on-call room she could find. No air seemed to be filling her lungs and she couldn't breathe. She had never talked back to her mom or told her how she truly felt.

"Meredith, Meredith," Derek said softly as he followed her into the room.

"I can't…I can't…I can't breathe." She said in gasps.

"Shh, it's ok. Just take deep breaths. I'm here, I'm here and I love you. Just breathe. Please." Derek said softly as he directed her to breathe in a brown paper bag he found nearby.

Meredith breathed into the paper bag and pushed Derek away from her.

"Mer?" Derek asked concerned. Why was she pushing him away?

"Don't. You snapped at me. You snapped at me for no reason. You think I haven't gone through enough already today, Derek? Huh? God, the last thing I needed was you to snap and get mad at me for no reason. This day has been hell on me, but you didn't even think of that. You didn't even consider that I might need something to take my mind off that woman in there!" Meredith said getting angry at Derek as hot, tears welled up in her eyes and cascaded down her cheeks.

"Mer…" Derek said in a soft whisper.

"What Derek, you want to try to explain to me why you did that? Was it all for show so then the Chief would pick you for that damn position as Chief when he retires?" she asked. She knew Richard was planning on stepping down and ever since Burke, Derek and Mark had been trying their hardest to get recognized in a positive way by him.

"It wasn't that Mer. We were stressed on trying to find a way to get in there and save a patient and you just came out of nowhere. I didn't want you to go in there and get sick, I didn't want you to have to be thinking about something when your mother is in the hospital sick. I didn't want you to be distracted. It wasn't about Chief." He told her.

"But you want the position." She told him.

"I do, but that has nothing to do with today." He said confused why she was bringing up the Chief position.

"No, but it has everything to do with our future, or do you not care about that anymore?" she asked him as tears continued to come down.

"What the hell, Meredith!? What more do I have to do to show you that I am ready for a future with you. I already proposed to you, I've told you repeatedly. Just tell me what I have to do." He told her as he got heated up as well.

"All I've ever wanted from you Derek is to love me, and you have. But now you want to be Chief." She said.

"I've wanted that from the beginning. That's why I moved out here." He said.

"And you don't think that affects me, or has to deal with our future?" she asked.

"Not in a bad way," he snapped.

"Right, because it worked so well for the Chief, I mean I hear him and Adele are wonderful right now and so happy." She said sarcastically.

"Is that what this is about? You think our marriage won't work if I take Chief? He asked.

"I don't know, Derek, maybe." She said as she crossed her arms. "But that would involve us getting married in the first place."

"We're going to get married, Meredith. We're engaged and I love you." He told her as he tried to come closer to her. For the first time, she stepped away from his touch.

"I'm going home," she said softly.

"Should I go to the trailer tonight?" he asked her hesitantly.

"Do what you want," she said before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

**Ok, there's the update. I know it took forever and seems to be totally out of no where, but it's time to get this story moving. So here you go. I got a lot of the scenes with Ellis and Meredith from the DVD's. REVIEW!**


	38. Back for Forgiveness

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I'm very happy to see that you guys' haven't left me since I didn't update for so long. I will let you know and reassure you that this is a MERDER story for sure. I am a huge fan of them and think they are adorable! (: I'll fix it, I always do. **

**Chapter 38**

Meredith left. She left him standing alone in the on call room where she had just yelled and he had said some stuff, she said some stuff and now they were apart and he was so unsure of what happened. He shouldn't have yelled at her earlier today, especially after everything she had been through with her mother. But she came and he was stressed and didn't know what to do and he let it out on her. Not because he wanted to, but because it just happened.

Now, he was all alone and had no idea where to go or what to do. Should he go to the house and talk to her about it? Or should he leave her be, give her time, and go to the trailer? He wouldn't sleep if he was away from her, he knew that. Just the thought of lying awake in the cold trailer without her there for him to hold drove him nuts. He needed her. God, he needed her so much. He had to fix this. He knew he was an ass, she had every right to be mad and they needed to talk about him becoming Chief. It could happen, and if so then he needed to discuss it with her. They were going to get married and they needed to discuss their future.

After leaving the on call room and heading to his office to change and get ready, he found himself in his car on the way back to their house. Or her house, or her mother's house. Whatever it was, he was headed there because that's where the love of his life was. Or so he hoped.

He felt a sigh of relief exit his mouth and lungs as he noticed her car sitting on in front of the house with lights illuminated in the house. He parked the car and got out and headed to the front door. After unlocking the door and locking it behind him he discovered that the lamp on the end table was on, and he smiled. She only kept it on when she knew he'd be coming home late and needed to see. That gave him hope; maybe she wasn't as mad as he anticipated.

"Meredith," Derek said as he came to the front of their bedroom door. He entered the room and saw the darkness in the room with the moon shining in and showing the frame of Meredith's body. She was curled up on his side clutching his pillow and wearing his clothes. His heart melted and ached all at the same time. He hated himself for hurting her, for causing her any amount of pain, and yet he was so damn happy to see her on his side, in his clothes. She always said when she missed him while he was at work she'd wear his clothes and sleep on his side just to feel close to him.

"Meredith," he whispered as he got on the bed on her side and crawled closer to her body. He reached to touch her so she would know he was there.

"You came home," she said softly.

"I came home. I didn't want to be anywhere you weren't. I love you," he told her as he wrapped her in his arms. She turned the light on the end table on and faced him.

"I love you too, I'm sorry I got mad. It was just…a bad day." She told him.

"I know, I'm sorry too. I should've realized earlier what kind of day you were having and I never should have taken my stress out on you. You didn't deserve that. You were having a bad day and I should've been there for you. I'm so sorry I wasn't Mer," he told her.

"You were, just not the whole day." She said softly.

"I know, I'm sorry." He said.

"Ok, we still need to talk, Derek." She told him.

"I know, we need to discuss our future and the possibility of me being Chief." He said.

"I get that you want it, Derek. I do. I've seen you work hard, and that's the reason you came out here. You didn't plan any of this between us. You were escaping New York and Addison and needed and wanted to focus on your career. But, you proposed and you say you want a future with me…"

"I do, I really do Meredith." He interrupted.

"But that changes things. I've seen the Chief go through hell with his wife, it hasn't worked out because of all the work that comes with being Chief. We want a family together, Derek. How are you going to be there for our kids? I don't want to sound selfish or ask you to not take the job because honestly you would make an amazing Chief." She said.

"But…" Derek said, knowing there was more.

"But, you would make an even better dad. And I want to give that to you, and I want us to experience parenthood together. I don't know how well that will work if you're constantly at the hospital doing paperwork, getting in OR time and running a hospital. I just don't see it all working out. I don't want us to be apart any night, and Richard spends every night at work. He never leaves, he never left. That's why he's getting a divorce. Because the job got in the way of their marriage and life. I don't want that for us. But I don't want you to lose your dream either." She said with tears now in her eyes. She was so lost and confused on what to do.

"Mer, I don't need to be Chief." He told her.

"Yes you do, that's been your dream since you were little. You've wanted to be just like your dad." She said.

"But I won't be. He didn't have a lot on his hands when he was the Chief. He was an excellent Neurosurgeon and I'm fine with being that as well. I want a lifetime with you. I want a wonderful wedding that is perfect for us. I want to marry you, and build us a house that will fit us and our children. I want to make babies with you, as many as you will have, and I want to raise them and come home to you and our kids every night. I don't want to spend endless hours working on paperwork, I want to spend endless hours of happiness with you and our kids. I want to be with you forever, that is my dream. My dreams have changed, Meredith. When I first came here I was escaping the horrible life I had in New York. Then, I met you at the bar and my whole world flipped upside down and I have been in love with you ever since. I've been happier than ever, and I want to remain that way. I can only be that way if I'm with you." He told her with a soft, dreamy look.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to grow to resent me or our kids in the future." She told him.

"I won't. I promise. I love you, and I love that you keep talking about our future and our kids. It took me a while to get you to, and now that we're talking about it, I can't wait for it to happen." He told her as he cupped her face between his hands and leaned in to place a kiss on her lips.

"I love you too," she told him.

"Good, we're good right?" he asked.

She nodded her head and she still had this sad, hurt look on her face.

"Mer, are you sure? You don't look too happy." He said.

"My mother said I was ordinary today. She said I didn't have what it took to be a great surgeon, that I was loosing everything I had worked for by being in love and happy with you. She was lucid for the first time in five years and yet she couldn't see how happy I was, or how in love I was. I kept trying to tell her, but she just…refused to see it. I'll never be enough for her, and who knows what will happen with her now. I just…I hate this. I hate having to be the only one to deal with her crap. I've had to do so much for her in the past five years, and I couldn't even enjoy her being lucid. I hated it. We've never had that mother daughter relationship most girls talk about, but I just…I thought she could be happy for me. She's only ever seen me as a disappointment." Meredith said softly as tears swam down her cheek bones.

"Oh Mer," Derek said softly, not knowing what else to say. Instead, he scooped her up and placed her in his lap and began to rock her back and fourth. They sat in silence a few moments as she let the tears escape and let it all out. Ever since Derek came along she had found it easier to let her walls down and work on things going on in her head.

"I love you," she said softly. That's all she knew anymore.

"Oh Mer, I love you too. So much. Your mother, she doesn't know what she missed out on. You are so extraordinary, so wonderful and so strong. She has missed all of that. You are amazing, and I love you. And I know that you are going to be the best mom, and my children are going to be damn lucky to have you as a mom." He told her.

"You think?" she asked wearily.

"I know," he said with a firm, loving tone so she would understand just how much he meant it.

"Thank you," she told him as she buried her head in the crook of his neck and breathed him in. Today had been crap, and he had made it better in the end.

"I yelled at her," Derek told her.

"What? Who?" Meredith asked confused.

"Your mother." He said.

"When?"

"When I went in for her consult. She was saying how I ruined you and how all I wanted was to be admired and that I didn't care for you at all. I just, I couldn't take it. I know you told me not to get personal, but she did and she just hit me in the wrong spots. I couldn't let her say those things about you or our relationship. I hated her saying that." He told her as he explained why he did it.

"Hey, I'm not mad. It's ok. I'm glad you stuck up for me. No one ever has." She told him.

"You shouldn't have to go through that, you shouldn't have when you were younger either. She never treated you right." He told her.

"No, but that's not going to change. You fixed me, all she did to me, you fixed. You've made me so happy and I am so glad to have you in my life." She told him as she looked up at him.

"Oh Mer, I'm the lucky one. I can't imagine my life without you." He told her.

"Can we go to bed now?" she asked him.

"Yeah, we can. You've had a tough day, we'll sleep." He told her.

"Ok, we can have make up sex in the morning." She told him.

"Deal, I love you Meredith Grey." He told her softly after they repositioned themselves with her on her side and him on his, and they joined in the middle, spooned together. He pulled her close and tight to his body, not allowing an inch of space between them. He needed to be close to her, to hold her all through the night.

"I love you, Derek Shepherd." She answered in return as she held his hand in her own, his warm skin covering her engagement ring.

**It's short, but you guys requested an update, and there it is. Now, we are getting to an intense chapter next. You can guess what it is. I've started it, but I have to finish writing it and editing. **

**REVIEW AND THANK YOU!**


	39. I Can't Live Without You

**Sorry, I suck at updating lately. I apologize so much for that! I hate when people don't update so, I am incredibly sorry. All I can is that I am still trying to figure out how to fit writing in between work, school and stuff like that. My birthday was a couple weeks ago and today I took the ACT. Not fun stuff. But, I've gotten tired of reading fanfics, or the lack of them that involve some cute Meredith/Derek stuff, so I'm taking matters back in my hands and writing a chapter. Here you go…**

It was early March and the weather in Seattle was starting to get warmer and start to feel like spring. The water around the Seattle area had thawed back into the motion of waves crashing lightly and the Ferry boats were back in business. Along with spring came new traumas and new cases as well as any other season or day. Seattle Grace always got interesting cases through out the year.

"Not waking up." Meredith mumbled into the pillow her head was rested on as Derek's arms wrapped her into a warm cocoon. She started to remember the day before starting with her mother, going to the fights she had with Ellis and Derek that day and finally ending with Derek coming back home and them sorting through all the wrong things said that day. Now, they were curled up together sleeping.

She felt his arms tighten like they always did when he didn't want to let go of her and just hold her tighter to him. She loved that feeling and loved spending mornings in bed with him. She felt safe and loved and like nothing in the world could go wrong.

"Me neither." He grumbled. Normally he was the one to coax her out of bed and get her going, but it looked like they were both in the same mood.

"Stupid brains," Meredith then grumbled.

"That's an oxymoron." Derek told her.

"You're a moron." She grumbled back.

"Gee Mer, thanks." He said with a chuckle.

"Sorry, I'm tired." She told him with a giggle before turning to face him.

"Me too, we need to get home early tonight and sleep." He told her.

"We do, being engaged is tough." She told him with a sigh and light chuckle.

"Lets just get married naked in a field." Derek told her.

"Sounds good to me," Meredith giggled. "That would be awkward for the pastor or whatever though." Meredith added.

"Second thought, you need to be dressed." Derek said.

"Caveman." Meredith mumbled.

"Damn right I am with you, just think of how I'll be with our daughters." He said.

"Oh God, that'll be horrible." Meredith said before lifting herself up and heading to the bathroom.

"What happened to make up sex in the morning?" Derek asked with a pout on his face.

"Well, get your ass out of bed and share a shower with me if you want some, I can't be late to work again." Meredith told him with a grin as she moved to the bathroom and Derek leaped out of bed. Giggles were the only noises coming from the bathroom as they echoed around the walls as the happy couple got ready for their day.

"I'll see you at lunch?" Derek asked her as they exited the elevator later that morning.

"Yeah, as long as we don't get stuck with crazy surgeries' today." Meredith told him.

"Ok, I'll see you later then." Derek told her placing a soft kiss on her lips and released his hold on her.

"See you later." Meredith said before turning and going into the intern locker room to get the day started.

She heard her pager beep and let out a low groan that the day had already started and feared the craziness that was soon to come.

It was a page to the ER so she quickly changed and ran to the location.

"Grey! You and the others are coming with me. There was an accident with a ferry down at the Sound. We need all the hands we can get, lets go!" Bailey called out.

There was a trauma. That's all Meredith knew. Something happened with a ferry and now medical help was needed. She quickly suited up and followed everyone out the doors towards the ambulance.

"I'm taking supplies with me. I can only fit five people." Said the ambulance paramedic.

Bailey looked around the group of her interns and decided quickly on which one to leave behind.

"Yang, stay here and wait for us to return. Be ready to work on patients as quickly as possible." Bailey called to her.

Yang stood still as she stared blankly in confusion and defeat. This would've been a great opportunity, and now she was going to miss out on it. She watched as the ambulance doors closed and sped off to save the lives of those who were dying.

Once the ambulance came to a stop Meredith prepared herself for what she would see, she knew it wouldn't be good and it would be chaotic and horrible, so she took a deep breath and made her way to the doors to exit and follow her fellow interns out.

They stepped off onto the ground and looked all around them and took in the scene of a ferry on fire and hundreds of people running around scared, lost, confused and feeling grief and worry for their loved ones.

"Holy mother of…" Izzie said, unable to complete her sentence or express what she was feeling.

"Ok, lets break up! Go out and find some patients and help them as much as you can. If you find some that need more extensive help, bring them to an ambulance and get them sent to the hospital immediately!" Bailey ordered before the group of interns broke up and set out to help the people around them.

Meredith took in the scenery of people hurt and wounded and addressed and helped them as they came near her. So far, she didn't find anything too bad that needed more help than necessary but she helped their cuts and sent them to the hospital if they needed it. She was finishing up on a patient when she left a little hand poke her arm. She turned to see a little blond-haired girl staring up at her with a frightened look in her eyes.

"Are you hurt?" she asked the little girl. She stared blankly and when Meredith asked again she seemed to shake her head no for a split second. Meredith scanned her body for any cuts or injuries and when she noticed none she began to ask more questions.

"Is your mommy around?" Meredith asked. When the little girl started to cry and shake her head no again Meredith felt her heart strings tug for the little girl.

"Ok, let's find her. Where was the last place you found her?" Meredith asked. When she didn't answer again she searched around a little. When she found a paramedic near she tried to have the paramedic take the little girl to go find her mom so she could return to taking care of the wounded patients.

"Can you take her and help her find her mom?" Meredith asked.

"Sorry, I have to help with patients." The paramedic told her rudely and walked away.

"Ok, come with me," Meredith told the little girl.

Meredith continued to walk with the little girl with her as she searched for more patients to help, when she spotted Derek near the ambulance working on a patient.

"Hey Derek, it's…crazy around here." Meredith said with the little girl still holding her hand.

"Oh, Mer. I know it's crazy around here. You ok?" he asked looking at her closely.

"Yeah, I just…this little girl, she lost her mom so I'm trying to find her. She's so scared; I don't know what to do for her." Meredith told Derek quietly as the little girl stood near, but still a little away from the couple.

Derek could see that Meredith was not only talking about the little being scared, but also herself. He finished with his patient and took the time to wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly for a few minutes. "It's going to be ok Mer, these things happen and their tragic and horrible, but you'll find her mom and we'll fix the people we can and then things will be ok again. We cant save everyone, but we can try our hardiest." He told her softly.

"Thanks, I just…it's scary. This whole thing, but I'm just going to try to find her mom and treat the patients I can. I'll see you later." She told him placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Ok, I'll find you back at the hospital." He told her squeezing her hand tightly before letting go.

Meredith turned around and focused on the little girl a little more, trying to get answers from her. She failed since the little girl was still playing the silent game, so she continued to work her way through injured patients. She spotted an older man lying on the side of the dock and she rushed to his side.

"Sir? Sir, can you hear me?" she asked, when he answered with a moan she took that as a sign and turned her attention to the wound on his leg. The blood and broken skin was evident as the blood soaked his black pants and he held his arm like it was hurting as well.

"I need you to stay there ok sweetie? He's hurt pretty bad and I need you to not look at this." Meredith told the little girl as she grabbed her medical bag and began to dig around for the tools needed to help patch up and heal the man before her.

"I need you to lie still please while I take care of this," Meredith said softly so the man could hear her as she started to clean the wound. Once she patched it up the best she could she turned to take the tag off her coat for a paramedic to come get him. "Ok sir, I did the best I could, but they're going to have to take you into the hospital to finish it." She told him as she went to snap the tag on his coat. He started screaming out in pain.

"Sir, I know this hurts but I need to lie still." Meredith reminded him as he began to wiggle in pain. The man felt a deeper pang of pain and thrashed around causing an arm to swing out and knock Meredith back and cause her to fall deep into the ice cold water on the other side of the dock.

Derek was doing his best to work through the patients and tag them as he went. He still couldn't get the look of worry and freight on Meredith's face from earlier when she came to see him with the little girl at her side. Something in him told him she wasn't only afraid for the little girl being lost, but also for the patients, and somehow herself. He had a feeling all of a sudden. He had to find her, if only just to make she was ok and still here.

He finished with a patient and when a paramedic came over to him he explained the patient's condition then asked the question he needed to know most. "Have you seen Dr. Grey?" He asked.

"Not since she was over here helping a patient." The paramedic informed him before loading the patient onto the ambulance.

"Ok," Derek said as he felt the nauseous feeling come over him again. He had to find her.

He looked around at the people, and also looked for all the navy jackets he could recognize. He then saw something that almost made him relax, almost. It was the little girl Meredith had been with earlier and he rushed to her side. "Hey sweetie, where's the pretty doctor you were with earlier?" he asked softly to not scare her. The little girl stared up at him blankly before motioning for him to follow her. Derek followed quietly behind and when she came to a stop he looked ahead of him.

The cold, deep blue water crashed below them and a patient lay in front of them. It looked like he had been helped since he was tagged and also had a doctor's navy coat placed over him. "Ok sweetie, you don't have to talk just point to the direction she went." Derek told her in a voice he hoped was soothing and not panic.

The little girl raised her arm and pointed straight ahead of them, the water. Derek swallowed as his blood turned cold at the thought of where he now knew she was. She couldn't swim. She was gone…he reacted and did the most logical thing he could think of…he jumped in to save her.

She didn't know what was happening. She couldn't feel anything. She was numb and everything seemed to be black. It was black and she was numb. Where was she? Where was Derek? Why couldn't she breathe, and why couldn't she open her eyes?

She was numb…but the blackness faded and suddenly she was in the hospital and it was bright. No one was there, it was an empty OR room and she was lying on the table. Where was she? Why was she here and where was everyone else? She looked around and Dylan and Denny showed up at her sides.

"Where am I?" she asked them as she looked from one person to the other.

"The hospital," Denny told her.

"Am I…dead?" she asked recalling her falling into the water.

"We don't know, this is your…after life thing." Dylan said.

"What? No, no…no! Where the hell am I? Where's Derek? And Cristina? The others! Where am I?!" she yelled.

"Meredith, you need to calm down." Denny soothed.

"No! You guys are dead, so if I can see you…and talk to you, then I'm dead too, right?" she asked as tears pricked in her eyes.

"Yes," Dylan told her.

"No, no! I can't…I can't leave him…I _won't_ leave him!" Meredith yelled as the tears came freely.

"Derek, you have to get out of here." The Chief told him as he tried to continue breathing air back into the love of his life.

"No, I wont leave her. We promised…we promised we'd never leave each other." He told the room of people, who loved Meredith and wanted her to pull through.

"And we're going to make sure that happens. We're going to work on her," Bailey told him.

Mark came up to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder to show his support and try to get him out of the room and out of his ice cold clothes.

He'd jumped into the water after the love of his life and pulled her to safety the quickest he could. The water was ice cold and pricked his skin like needles and he knew Meredith's body temperature was worse. He rushed to an ambulance as soon as he pulled her out of the water and instantly began breathing in her mouth for her on the ride to the hospital. As soon as they arrived they pulled her into a trauma room and Bailey, Burke, and the Chief started to work on her. He was then pushed out of the room.

Mark led him out to the hallway and Derek plopped onto the ground allowing the wall to take all his weight as his whole world fell apart in front of him.

"Derek, you should change…" Mark told him softly.

"No, I'm not leaving her. You guys want me out of her room, fine! But I won't leave her completely!" he shouted at Mark.

"Ok man, it's ok. Calm down." Mark told him.

"How the fuck am I supposed to calm down Mark? The love of my life is lying in that room, unconscious, frozen and dying and I can't do a thing! I have to sit out here and worry about her. Worry and wonder if I'm ever going to see her beautiful green eyes look at me. Wonder if I'll ever hear her laugh; see that sparkle in her eyes when she calls me an idiot, or if I'll ever be able to hold her in my arms again! So no, Mark, I won't calm down and it's definitely not ok. My whole life, world and future is in that room and I can't do anything to save her. I can't…I can't lose her…" Derek trailed off as a sob wracked his body and covered his face with his hands. He couldn't lose Meredith.

"I'm so sorry, Derek." Mark told him placing a soothing hand on Derek's arm.

"I love her Mark; I love her so damn much. I won't…I can't survive without her. She needs to pull through this for us and our future. She's…she's been so amazing, we've been talking about building a house and babies Mark…babies. You know how long I've wanted kids? I finally found a wonderful, beautiful, amazing woman to start a family with and marry and now she's…she's…I don't even know." Derek cried.

"She's going to be fine, Derek, she'll pull through this." Mark told him. "You guys have a future ahead of you; she's going to fight like hell to hold onto that." Mark told him.

"We're getting married, after everything we've been through… we're finally getting married. I've hurt her…I've hurt her so much. With Addison coming, then little stupid comments I say about her sometimes. Yesterday, god yesterday we got in a huge fight…and I almost lost her forever because of my temper. We made up last night and she forgave me for being an idiot again…but I keep hurting her…and I just…I can't lose her. I need her to breathe and function. I can't even imagine a life without her." Derek told him tears flowing freely as he thought of his life without her.

"Derek, you guys are going to be fine. You haven't hurt her. That isn't why she fell into the water, that isn't why she drowned." Mark told him.

Derek flinched at the word 'drowned', it just indicated that she had died…and he couldn't deal with that.

"You remember the bomb accident?" Derek asked.

"Of course," Mark answered.

"She had a feeling that morning, and I made her come to work." Derek said.

"And that wasn't your fault either," Mark reminded him.

"I had a feeling today. She came up to me and looked so scared about everything going on. I held her and told her it would be ok, then she left and I didn't see her for a while. I had a feeling when I went looking for her, that something wasn't right. And it wasn't…she was…gone. I had a feeling and I can't even remember the last time I told her I loved her." He told Mark.

"Oh Derek, you have to stop beating yourself up about this. It isn't your fault; the only reason why there is a chance for her to live is because you saved her! You saved her from the water and you saved her from the dark and twistiness she was. You have saved her so many times Derek and she's going to pull through. Her mother is the one to blame for this. To blame for the ways she mistreated her daughter, and also for not teaching her how to swim. This isn't your fault; you didn't have any control over this." Mark told him.

"I miss her, I miss her already. If something happens to her, how am I supposed to go on?" Derek asked.

"I don't know." Mark told him.

"When she woke up from the bomb, she told me that she told Cristina to tell me to move on. I freaked out on her then, because the thought of that was so…outrageous, but now…now it seems even more outrageous. If something does happen to her, then I won't be able to move on. I'm going to need her until the day I die, and if I can't have her, then I'm not going to be with anyone else." Derek said.

"Derek…" Mark said.

"No, it won't happen. I can't and won't live out the future we're supposed to have with someone else, I can't do that. No one else can make me feel as alive, and happy as she can. I won't do it, and I'm not going to wait out here any longer. I need to do something; I just feel so…useless right now." Derek said finding strength to pull his body up and walk down the hallway.

**There it is, hope you guys enjoyed it. I know it wasn't exactly like the show, but I'm glad. I wanted the scene when Derek breaks down with Mark to be so much more emotional and show his true feelings, so I added that stuff.**

**REVIEW!!! THANK YOU!**


	40. Falling into the Unknown

**Ok, I'm back. Sorry to leave you guys just hanging on there. I am back though and I have an update for you. :D**

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Derek left Mark in the hallway and made his way to the intern locker room where he it empty. He went to Meredith's locker and opened it quickly. The smell of her came out of the small area and assaulted his nose. Fresh tears replaced the old ones that were in his eyes and he picked up the shirt she had thrown on that morning and brought it up to his nose. He couldn't believe it. Two hours ago she had been in his arms kissing him goodbye as they parted ways to go on to their daily jobs. Now, she was gone. Dead. He knew the chances of her coming back to him were slim; after all he was still a doctor and knew all the facts. But, he couldn't help but hope and pray that she could and would somehow pull through this.

He felt so alone. His heart was aching with a pain he had never felt before. This pain was much different from when his father's life was taken from him and his family. He was only a little kid and didn't quite understand how the world worked yet, but now things were so different. He and Meredith had planned a future. They were getting married soon, building a house and in the future they planned to have a family. Derek sobbed as he thought of a little version of Meredith popped in his head. A little girl with soft, blond curls that framed her face, and those beautiful emerald green eyes looking up at him. God, what would he do if he couldn't have that?

He then thought of his mother, and how she coped with the loss of his father after his death. She had had so much more time with him though, and a life. But still, if anyone could help him through this time it would be her. He sat down on the bench with Meredith's shirt still in his lap and as he pulled out his phone and called his mother he took a whiff of her scent.

"Derek, hello dear, how are you?" his mother greeted with a happy tone. He blinked tears away as he tried to form words to speak.

"Mom…" He choked.

"What's wrong dear?" she asked with a worried tone now.

"It's Mer…she…" he couldn't say it.

"What, what's wrong with Meredith?" she asked worried now for both of them. She loved Meredith like one of her own daughters, and she made her son so happy.

"She…she…drowned…" Derek sobbed, the words piercing his heart.

"What? Derek, what are you talking about?" she asked with worry still evident in her tone.

Just then Mark came in the room and sat next to Derek. Derek looked to him for a hint of news on Meredith, and when he shook his head gently Derek sobbed harder and let the phone fall onto the ground as he buried his head into her shirt still on his lap.

Mark picked up the phone and began to talk into it. "Hello?" Mark asked.

"Mark! What is going on over there? What is wrong with Meredith?" Carolyn asked Mark in a gentle tone.

"Well…" Mark began and told her all that happened up to the moment now.

"How's Derek?" she asked him.

"He's…not good." Mark told her as he looked over at Derek. He was still crouched into his lap crying into her shirt.

"I'm coming out there." Carolyn told him.

"No, mom, you don't have to. Not yet anyway. We're still waiting to see what's going to happen. They're still working on her and they won't give up easily. They all love her here and they know how Derek feels towards her. They're going to try everything they can and then we'll see what happens. I'll keep you updated, and if she does…well if she doesn't make it then you should come out then. Because, I don't know how Derek will be if that happens." Mark said giving his friend a sentimental look at that thought.

"Ok, Mark, keep me updated." She told him.

"I will, bye mom." He said before hanging up.

"Hey, Derek, come on. Let's go to the cafeteria and get something to eat. You need something in your system and you need to take your mind off things." Mark told him placing a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder.

"No, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going back to her room." Derek said standing up quickly, letting her shirt fall to the ground, and exiting through the doors quickly before Mark could stop him.

Mark picked her shirt up and placed it back in her locker. She had to make it, because he honestly had no idea how Derek would survive without her. He was already torn apart at just the thought that he feared how Derek would be if she were to die.

----

"I want to go back!" Meredith screamed out at them as she sat on the operating table in whatever world she was in.

"You can't." Denny told her.

"Why not?! I don't want to be here! I want to be with Derek! I need to be with him! We had a future! I was getting better and we were working through everything. We were engaged! How does that just disappear?" Meredith asked him.

"It just does, Meredith. You know medicine more than me. You know about the death situation better then most in this place. You know that it's unexpected and just happens. There are accidents, and you drowning was one of them." Denny told her.

"But, I want to go back! Here I am, fighting to go back, so let me! Just let me go back!" she told him.

"I'm not in charge of that; if I were then I wouldn't be here. I would be healthy on earth. You know, when I was a patient there at Seattle Grace, I wanted to ask Izzie out. But she was with Alex and I was dying. If I could go back, I would and I would try to convince her to go on a date with me. But, that won't happen and I have to deal with that and move on. Just like you do, you can't go back." Denny told her.

"No, I'm going back. Because you see, you just had a crush on her. I _love _Derek and we are supposed to be together and have a future and life together! We're supposed to have a happy ever after." She told him getting off the table and pacing around.

Suddenly patients she remembered operating on and losing were popping up in the room. She remembered one of the girls that was involved in a train accident where they saved the other guy instead of her, and she bled out. Suddenly the girl fell to the ground and began bleeding out again.

Meredith rushed to the side calling out supplies she needed to try to fix the girl's injuries, but no one listened to her and she looked around at them in question. "What the hell are you doing just standing there? Help me!" she ordered.

"We can't. It's a waste of time, she'll just disappear." Dylan told her.

Just like that the girl disappeared along with the bloody mess and Meredith was left confused.

"What is going on?!" she exclaimed as hot tears welled in her eyes again.

"If you want to go back, you have to figure what caused you to end up here." Dylan told her.

"What are you talking about?" she asked confused. "I drowned in the water because my mother never took the time to teach me how to swim or send me to swim practice. That's how I ended up here." Meredith told them.

"That's not the whole truth." He told her.

"Yes it is! Why are you being such an ass? You were so nice to me when the bomb thing happened. I felt so sorry for you dying that day, and now you're being an ass." She told him.

"Because you need to figure out the whole reason for you dying so you can go back." Dylan told her harshly.

"I drowned! A patient needed help and I helped him, then he pushed me off the dock and I fell into water and drowned. I didn't know how to swim and it was cold, and it was dark and it hurt. I drowned." She told him and Denny.

"There's more Meredith, there has to be or you would be back by now." Denny told her.

"There isn't more!" she exclaimed.

"Take some time to think, think about everything going on lately." Denny told her.

"She doesn't have time and I don't feel like waiting around forever either," Dylan said aloud.

"Would you shut up or go away? You aren't helping." Denny told him. Dylan disappeared and Meredith searched around before forgetting about him and looking at Denny.

"Meredith, think about life since the bomb." He told her. "Because if you don't, then you will be left up here and you will have to watch Derek live his life, see him fall apart over you being gone. And the only thing you'll have with him is the rare moments when you get a whiff of him when you're in the same spot as him. You need to figure out why you died."

"Things have been great. I met Derek's family, we got engaged and we're starting to plan our dream house. Everything is going great." She told him more persistent, not wanting to think of Derek falling apart, or only getting a whiff of him.

"But it seemed to happen so quickly for you. You were dark and twisty and then all of a sudden you're engaged and meeting his family and getting house plans. Didn't you feel rushed maybe?" he asked her.

"No…maybe…what does that have to do with anything? You think I was running from that life? That I didn't want it after all and decided to drown myself? That's not the case! I love Derek! I want a future with him! I didn't drown myself to escape everything." She told him.

"I didn't say you did. I'm saying I think you got in that water and it was cold and scary that you just let go. And maybe the stress and everything moving so quickly in your life also made you let go a little as well." He told her. "I think your mother yelling at you had something to do with it too."

"I love Derek," she told Denny.

"I know you do," he told her.

"I didn't want to leave him," she whispered.

"I know,"

"But we have been moving a little fast, and I question myself all the time about the future." She said. "And my mother, she said horrible things. She made me question everything."

"I know," he said.

"I want to go back," she said looking up at him. "I'm ready. I'm not scared of the future anymore. I want to go back and talk to Derek and be with him." She told Denny.

"I don't know if you can," Denny told her.

"No, I have to…" she told him. "Because I don't just want a whiff of Derek when we happen to be in the same spot. I don't want to look down on his life and see him happy with someone else. I don't want to see him have kids with someone else. I want to be his wife and the mother to his children! This isn't fair. I want all that, so let me go back!" She cried.

Denny started to say something but then she saw her mother in the hallway and she ran to her.

"Mom," She said softly.

"Meredith," her mother said with clarity.

"What are you doing here?" she asked her mother.

"I belong here Meredith, you don't. You are any thing but ordinary. Go back to Derek." She whispered into her daughter's ear as she hugged her tightly.

Meredith sobbed a little before she let go, "I love you," she told her mother.

"I love you too, Meredith. Now go." She said letting her daughter go. Meredith began to run into a bright light that she could only hope led to Derek.

* * *

Derek rested against a wall near Ellis's room. He wanted so badly to go in there and yell at her. To tell her exactly what she did to her daughter. To blame all of this on her, but he knew that wouldn't help anything. That wouldn't bring Meredith back.

He went in her room anyway and noticed her sleeping. He started to talk softly. "You ruined her. You made her feel like no one cared about her, that she was alone in this world. You took her childhood away from her, and you tried to take all the success she felt away as well. You made her feel like she was a disappointment when she is the person I am proudest of. You ruined her." Derek said in an angry tone as he continued to talk to her.

"Derek, stop. This isn't going to help anything," Mark told him as he came in the room.

"Mark…I can't lose her, and this woman may be the reason for me losing the love of my life." Derek told him.

"Go be with Meredith, Derek. If this…if she doesn't make it…and she goes without you there, you'll regret it." Mark told him.

Derek nodded his head as tears sprang to his eyes once again and he broke down. "Go, Derek." Mark told him.

Derek stood and ran to the room where the love of his life was being operated on. He entered to see everyone standing to the side looking down at her as the machines screeched the sound of no life. Meredith's body was blue with coldness and she was covered in blankets. He stood at the end of the bed where her feet were and covered them with his touch. He looked at her with tears streaming down her face. He suddenly felt this feeling of hope rush through him and he turned to Bailey.

"Try again," he said.

They all exchanged looks with one another without any movement.

"Try. Again!" he ordered in a harsher tone.

"One more round," Bailey said.

"One more," Richard agreed.

Bailey gave her another round and they waited quietly for the machine to show some life left in her.

It seemed to take forever, but they finally heard the sound of a soft beep fill the air and Derek felt more tears spring to his eyes. It worked. She was alive.

Everyone in the room looked to the machine as it showed her heart rate coming back and Burke went to her side to check her. He listened for a heart beat and smiled up at Derek when he heard it. "It's there." He told him.

"Thank God," Derek said softly before going around a sitting next to her.

Mark then showed up in the room, and Derek looked to him. "She's alive, Mark." He told him with a bright smile on his face.

"That's great man, but Ellis coded after you left. I tried everything I could, but we lost her." Mark told the room.

Richard felt his heart squeeze in pain at the thought of her dying, but knew that was better then her suffering with her illness longer.

"Thanks for coming in and telling me, I'll let her know when she wakes up." Derek said.

Mark left the room and the rest followed out as Derek sat at her side and began to talk to her softly. "Mer, please wake up. Come on, I need you to wake up." He told her softly. He thrilled she had a heartbeat, and now all he wanted was for her to wake up and look at him.

"Ou…" he thought he heard her say.

"Mer…" he said looking closely at her.

"Ouch…" she said more clearly this time.

"Meredith, can you hear me? Say something." He told her as he stood up and cupped her face in his hands.

"Der…" she said opening her bright green eyes to look up at him. A soft, weak smile came to her face and he let out a soft laugh as the joy of her saying his name and looking up at him, alive made him smile.

"Oh Mer, I'm so happy you're alive. You have no idea how scared I was. Do you feel ok? Do you need anything? I should get you checked out." Derek said all at once.

"Derek, I love you." She told him softly.

"Oh, Mer," he said softly as those words coming from her lips made his eyes water with emotion all over again. "I love you too, so incredibly much." He told her leaning down to kiss her gently on her forehead.

"Water…" she told him.

"You need some water?" he asked her.

She nodded lightly and he reached to get a cup from the bedside and filled it with water. She took a sip and he returned it to the table next to her.

"I'm going to check you out," he told her standing at her bedside and grabbing his penlight. He checked for any brain damage, and when he found none he stopped his examination and decided to page Bailey in.

"Derek, calm down. I'm ok now." She told him.

"Grey, glad to see you're alive." Bailey said with a smile as she came into the room. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Good. I'm a little sore, and tired. But other then that I feel fine." She told her.

"Well, you're on a lot of medication. You'll be sore for a while, but we're going to let you rest here for a night or two and keep you under observation. But hopefully you can go home tomorrow and take some time to heal at home before coming back to work. How bout we get you in a private room?" Bailey asked. Meredith nodded slowly and they began to move her.

---------

Later that evening Derek sat at her bedside as she slept. She had been sleeping for the past couple hours. But test had been run, and she had been checked over and everything seemed to be good except for the bruises, and soreness. Her friends had stopped by and they were all happy to see her alive. He had left the room at that time to call his mother and give her an update and apologize for his frantic phone call earlier. She had reassured him that it was fine and offered to come out and be with them, but he politely declined.

Everything would work out. As long as she was warm, breathing, and alive he would be happy.

He was now sitting next to her watching her sleep and enjoying the sound of her snoring. He never thought he would love to hear that sound as much as he did now. It suddenly stopped and he looked at the machines to reassure she was still alive, but then her eyes opened and she smiled at him.

"Hey you," he told her scooting the chair as close as he could to her bed.

"Hey, I'm sorry I scared you." She told him.

"It was more than a scare Mer, but it's not your fault." He told her. "You didn't know how to swim."

"My mom died, Derek." She told him.

"She did," he agreed surprised she knew that. They hadn't told her yet. "How do you…know that?" he asked her.

"I saw her," Meredith told him.

"What do you mean you saw her?" He asked.

"Well, when I…drowned. I…uh…went to this other place, kind of like an afterlife place, and when she died I saw her. She told me to come back." Meredith tried to explain, she sounded stupid and crazy to herself. "I know I sound stupid, and you probably don't believe me…"

"I believe you, Mer…I'm just so happy you came back." He told her as he placed his hand around hers gently.

"I wanted so badly to come back sooner Derek, I did. I fought for so long in that water, but it was so cold and I just…couldn't swim. I was so scared and I just…let go. I didn't want to leave you, and when I got wherever I went I saw Denny and Dylan. They kept telling me there was some other reason I was there, and that I needed to figure out why before I could return to you." She told him.

"Did you find out?" he asked, fearing the answer.

"My mom, the things she said to me. She put thoughts and doubts in my head about our future. And I know I love you and want to marry you, but then after that comes babies and, Derek, I've never wanted kids. But you make me want them. I want you to be a dad, and I want to be the mother to your children. But how can I be a good mother when my example was so horrible? I would be a horrible parent." She told him.

"Oh, Mer, what she said to you was all wrong. The doubts you have are wrong as well. I mean everyone has doubts, I even do sometimes, but you need to tell me when you do. Because I'm scared to have kids as well, but I know I want them. And I know I want them with you because you are going to be the best mom my kids could ever have. I want all of that with you, but only if you do and only when you're ready. I don't want you to feel like I'm rushing you." He told her.

"You're not, Derek. I do want all of that. I want a future with you now, more than ever. This was a big wake up call." She told him.

"I know, I was so scared, Meredith. But we can talk about all of this later. I'm just glad you're ok." He told her as he kissed her hand gently. He was so worried he'd hurt her.

"You aren't going to hurt me, Derek." She told him, she knew him too well.

He nodded his head and just chuckled a little at her powers of reading him so well.

"Kiss me," she whispered softly he almost didn't hear her. He looked up at her to see if she was serious.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"More than anything." She told him.

He leaned over towards her and pressed his lips to her gently, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer so the kiss would be deeper. She hated him treating her like a fragile doll. They pulled away and he looked down at her with a smile.

"I love you, so damn much." He told her as he rested his forehead on hers.

"I love you too, Derek" she told him with a smile.

"You should sleep." He told her.

"Join me." She said scooting over to make room for him.

"Mer, I don't know, I don't want to hurt you." He told her.

"You won't, Derek, I know you won't." she said looking at him.

He didn't fight her on it again, because he wanted to hold her now more than ever. He climbed into the bed and placed his arms around her and held her as tight as he could without hurting her. "Am I hurting you?" He asked her.

"Never," she told him with a smile. She was rested on her side, with her head on his chest hearing his heartbeat below her ear. "I love you," She told him again. She couldn't stop saying it.

"I love you too," he told her. He loved hearing her say it because an hour ago he was wondering the last time he had heard her say it, and now he couldn't stop saying it and loved hearing her say more than ever.

Everything would work out, he knew it would, they just had to give it time.

----------

**There you go! Meredith is alive! I know I didn't have any with the other interns in here, but this story is about Meredith and Derek's relationship and I felt with how I've written them that it would be better for Derek to be there when she wakes up. Sorry if any of you are disappointed in that, but it's just how I have them written. I hope you guys liked it and review please and let me know what you think! **

**Also, sorry if there are typos my computer is kinda a dinosaur so it is slow in typing and leaves some letters I type out. It ticks me off, but oh well. **

**Thank you!**


	41. A Perfectly Good Heart

**I know, it's been forever since I updated, actually almost a month. But, life is crazy and I haven't found time to sit and write as much as I would've liked. So, here is an update for you guys! I'm sorry once again.**

Meredith had been released from the hospital after staying overnight at the hospital for observation, and everything turned out to be ok. Her lungs were still sore from the lack of air her lungs received while under water, but other than that and a couple other sore muscles she was feeling better.

The chief gracefully gave her a week off, to let her heal the loss of her mother and also the near death experience she dealt with as well. She was gracious to have the days off, but with the board exam coming up within the next month or two, losing OR time just wasn't ideal to her. She was missing out on valuable time to learn new procedures that could potentially help her on the exam.

Derek also received time off after arguing with the chief his reasoning for wanting the time off.

"_Derek, what can I do for you?" The chief asked as Derek entered his office."Is Meredith ok?"_

"_Yeah, she's good, getting ready to go home. I actually need to talk to you about that." Derek told the chief. He wanted those days off to spend with Meredith and for them to heal together after this traumatizing event._

"_Ok, what's going on?" Richard asked as he sat behind his oak desk with his arms folded and hands together, rested on the desk. _

"_I would like to take time off with Meredith. After everything she's been through I think she deserves some time off and some time to relax. I want to be there for her and help her through everything." Derek told Richard._

"_Derek, I don't think that's necessary. You can work and go home to her and help her then if she needs your help. She's very independent, has been her whole life." Richard told him._

"_I know that, I know she's also been left alone when she's needed people the most. Her mother was never around. I know they didn't have a close relationship and I also know why, but I want to be there with her. If she needs to breakdown, I want to be there for her to be able to talk to me and for me to help her through it. I love her, I know you may not like that or even understand that, but I need to be there with her." Derek told him, getting heated up._

"_And what do you expect to do about the patients that need your care?" Richard asked, ignoring the digs thrown at him. He knew Meredith growing up alone most of her life was due to his and her mother's affair, that still bothered him but he decided to push it away._

"_I don't have any at the moment that need my direct attention. And any that come in can be handled by Dr. Nelson." Derek told him._

"_She really does mean a lot to you, doesn't she? If you're willing to give up surgeries and patients…" Richard said, reflecting back on his life with his wife. If only he had felt the way Derek did._

"_I do, I love her very much. I know you feel some sort of father attachment to her, but I'm making her happy. At least I hope I am. I don't want her hurt in any way, and her almost dying tore me apart." Derek said, his eyes getting a slight mist to them as he thought back to the horrible accident that almost took the love of his life away from him._

"_I know it did, I'm so sorry about all of that Derek. But, she's healthy now, and she's ready to go home, and you can join her on her week off. Take care of her; maybe go on a trip somewhere. Just spend time together, because the time you guys have together now, won't last forever." Richard told him._

"_Oh, I know. Once we get married and have kids we won't have much time alone together. We'll be busy with our kids…" Derek added thinking of their future._

"_Kids? You aren't even married yet Derek," Richard said._

"_No, but we're planning the wedding soon. And in a couple years when we're both ready, we're planning on having kids." Derek said, aware that he was sharing too much information._

"_When that time comes, make sure you spend less time in the OR and busy, and more time with your family. My marriage is falling apart, and that's only one reason why. I've made many mistakes in my life, and I don't want Meredith to go through what I've put my wife through." Richard told him._

"_She won't. I plan on being faithful, no offense, and I plan on being home every night by seven at the latest hopefully with your help in that department." Derek told the older man._

"_No offense taken Derek, I made mistakes like I said and I regret every one of them. You can have the time off with Meredith, report back to work the same day as she does and be ready to work." Richard said. _

_Derek stood with a smile as he thanked his boss and exited the room. He had been ready for more of a fight with the older man, but he was very grateful and happy that he'd be spending the week alone with Meredith._

Derek smiled as he entered Meredith's private room and saw her packing the rest of her few belongings in the bag he had brought from home. He was taking Meredith home today and they were going to enjoy the next week without any interruptions.

"Hey, all ready to go?" He asked her as he came up to her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Yeah, did you check on your patients?" Meredith asked him as she zipped the bag.

"Yep, I've filled out the charts and made sure they're all in good conditions. We're ready to go." Derek said as he grabbed the bag from the bed and started to get ready to leave.

"Ok, Bailey brought the discharge papers by already and I already signed them. I'm all set." Meredith said smiling up at him.

"What?" He asked looking at her with a grin.

"I just, love you. And the next time I'm a patient at this hospital it better be because I just had your kid. Being a patient here sucks and they've all been from almost dying." She joked.

"Oh Mer, you have no idea how badly I want that too. I don't think I could deal with you being a patient in this hospital anymore. It hurts too much," Derek confessed.

"I'm sorry, Derek, I really am." Meredith told him.

"Mer, we've talked about this, it wasn't your fault. Things happen, and these things were just accidents." He told her, with a forgiving look in his eye.

"You better not end up in here either," she told him.

"I won't, I love you too much." He told her.

"Good, let's go home Derek." She told him with a smile as she stood on her toes and placed a tender kiss on his lips.

"Home," Derek said with a smile. The only time he had returned home was when he had left to get Meredith some things for her stay at the hospital. But the two nights she had spent at the hospital he had spent with her as well. He slept in the bed with her, with his arms wrapped around her loosely so he didn't hurt her. Now, he was leaving the hospital with his fiancé ready to take her home.

"Did you remember to feed Doc while we were at the hospital?" She asked Derek as they pulled up to their house.

"Of course, I'm not that stupid." Derek said with a smile.

"Good," Meredith said while exiting the car.

Although Meredith seemed to be back to normal, Derek still couldn't help but be a little weary and worry about her. He loved her so much, and he didn't want those dark and twisty thoughts her mother told her to come back and haunt her, or worse take her away from him again. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure that never happened again.

"So, what do you want to do while we're off the next week?" Meredith asked him as they got situated in the house and took a seat on the couch with Doc between them, excited to welcome them home.

"Well, I was thinking we deserve a little vacation. Why don't we go up to the vineyard?" Derek asked her. "It's close to home, yet it's far enough away to enjoy a nice vacation and we can spend the week relaxing." He told her.

"That would be amazing, but what would we do with Doc?" she asked him.

"Mark could take care of him, he owes me." Derek said with a smile.

"He owes you?" Meredith asked with a laugh. "Why's that?"

"He slept with my wife; he owes me for the rest of his life." Derek joked.

"Are you still upset over that?" Meredith asked him.

"No, I can't be. Even though it hurt like hell that they betrayed me, it's because of them that I met you, and I am so thankful for that. I couldn't imagine my life without you." Derek told her, taking her hand and placing a kiss on the back of her hand.

"That's sweet, Derek, but what if they hadn't had an affair? Then you'd still be with Addison and I would still be having one night stands and we wouldn't be together." She told him as Doc jumped off the couch and moved to the floor.

"I don't believe that." Derek said as he pulled her closer to him on the couch and wrapped him arms around her. "Our marriage had been over for a while and I had already been thinking about a divorce, what they did just pushed me closer to that decision. I think we still would've met because we're soul mates. And I am very happy you aren't having one night stands." Derek said with a smile. He hated the thought of Meredith's past with men, just the thought of another man touching her the way he did drove him crazy.

"You've changed me," she told him softly.

"That's a good thing right?" he asked, worried she may regret it.

"It's a very good thing. If it weren't for you I could've been dead now, you've saved me so many times. I'm sorry I've put you through that. I couldn't imagine anything happening to you. Also, I don't want you to think that any of my near-death experiences had anything to do with you. The bomb thing was stupid, but I didn't know what else to do. She had taken her hand out and I just put mine in, I didn't want the whole hospital to blow up and everyone die." She told him.

"And the ferry boat accident wasn't your fault either, I know you Derek, I know you're going to try to find a way to blame this on you, and it wasn't. You are the best thing for me. When that guy pushed me over all I could think of was that I needed to get to you. I needed to fight to stay alive so I could see you again. So we could have a happy ever after and get married and have kids. I still want all of those things with you. You make me happy, and I want you to know that." She told him with tears in her eyes.

"Mer, I know that. I do. Thank you for telling me though, it's always nice to hear. I was so scared when I saw you in the water, and when I pulled you out. You scared the hell out of me. I thought I'd lost you forever. And then you woke up and you made me the luckiest and happiest man. I was a wreck when you were gone; I never want to go through that again." Derek told her as he held her tighter.

"Derek, I know I mentioned this before, but if something were to happen to me I want you to move on." She told him softly, knowing his response wouldn't be pleasant, but these were things they needed to talk about if they wanted to get married.

"Meredith, stop." He dismissed her curtly.

"No, Derek, if something were to have happened to me and I would've died I would want you to move on. You're young, and an amazing man. You deserve to go on and live a nice life with a wife and kids. You would be an amazing father, and if I'm not around to give you kids then you should be with someone who can." Meredith told him as she backed away from him and looked in his eyes. She saw fear, sadness, and slight anger in his eyes.

"Meredith, I hate talking about this. You're fine. We're going to have that future." He told her.

"And what if we don't? What if I were to step in front of a bus tomorrow, Derek? I would be gone. And you know what? You wouldn't be in charge of my body or anything. No one would because I'm alone. I have no family. But you wouldn't get to be in charge of it because we aren't married." She told him.

Tears welled in his eyes and fell from his eye lids as he thought of her dying and him not being able to do anything about it. They needed to get married.

He stood up abruptly and began to pace the room, running his hands through his hair.

"Let's get married." He finally said.

She looked at him puzzled at his statement and had to blink a couple times before she muttered a word. "What?"

"Let's get married. We'll go up to City Hall and get married then go to the vineyard for our honeymoon. Then we won't have to worry about who would be in charge of anything if either one of us were to die. That way maybe you'll also stop mentioning me moving on without you." Derek told her standing in front of her.

"No, Derek." She told him.

"What? I thought you wanted to get married? We've been engaged since December." He told her.

"I know we have, but this isn't how it was supposed to happen. I don't want a big wedding Derek, but you're family and our friends should be there. It shouldn't be rushed either. Also, it's supposed to be a happy day and this doesn't seem like one. It seems like you just want to get it over with." She told him.

"No, I want to marry you. You know I do, so let's do it now. We can visit Mom and them and tell them the news later. They'll be fine." Derek said easily.

"No, Derek. We're not just going to go get married. You're not thinking reasonably. I get that my accident scared you, but this isn't how it's supposed to work." She told him.

"Do you not want to marry me anymore? Is that it?" He asked her.

"Seriously!? Are you seriously asking me that?" She asked getting angry and frustrated with him.

"Meredith…" he said, finally letting the anger go and his emotions show through. He began to break down and sob again as he sat down on the couch. He was so scared and still scared from losing her. He knew she was still alive, that she was sitting next to him and he could kiss, hold, hug, love and talk to her. But the fact that she had died and left him didn't just go away. And the fact that she wanted to talk about him moving on after her death tore him apart more.

She realized he was breaking down, so she wrapped her arms around him. "Derek, I'm ok." She told him, feeling tears spring up in her eyes as she watched the man she loved break down. She wiped his tears away and forced him to look up at her. "I'm ok, I'm alive and I want to marry you. I do, just not like this. We can't just get married because you're afraid of losing me." She told him softly as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I was so scared Mer, I never want to lose you." He told her as he rested his head on her shoulder and allowed her to comfort him as he broke down.

"I know, I'm so sorry Derek, I won't let anything happen. I love you," she told him.

"I love you too, so much. You mean everything thing to me, Meredith. I'm sorry for the whole marriage thing. We can have a nice ceremony on our land and our friends and family can be there." He told her. "You deserve the perfect wedding, and so much more."

"I love you," she didn't know what else to say, and she figured she needed to keep reassuring him that she loved him.

"I know, and I am so lucky to have you. You were wrong before."

"What about?" She asked confused.

"You said you didn't have any family, but you do. You have me, and your friends and my family. They all love you; they're your family too." He said softly.

"They are," she said with a smile.

Derek couldn't resist her any longer. He pulled her close and kissed her passionately. Allowing all the love he felt show through the kiss. He needed her to understand just how much he needed her. "I'm never replacing you, Meredith Grey."

"And I'm never replacing you, Derek Shepherd." She said before his mouth returned to hers' and she allowed him to take her away to a state of bliss.

**There you guys go!!! I hope you guys like it. Once again I am sorry it took so long. I was busy over my spring break, I went to a Jason Aldean concert- I LOVE that guy, and then lately I've been busy with newspaper stuff for my school. Today I got to interview a Holocaust survivor and I am writing an article for my local newspaper! I'm so excited! Thanks for reading you guys. **

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	42. I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes

**Thank you for the reviews. Anyone else totally annoyed with that April girl on Grey's? Seriously, she is starting to tick me off. I just hope she doesn't cause any conflict with Meredith and Derek. (: Here is the next chapter. Thank you for reading.**

It was about a month after the ferry boat accident and it seemed Meredith and Derek's relationship had only grown closer because of it. Derek had watched her carefully for weeks prior to the accident, but lately he had let up on his hovering finally realizing that she was fine and nothing would happen.

They had taken their trip to the vineyard that week and spent the time just lying around being lazy, tasting wine, enjoying the activities around the area and of course spending plentiful amounts of time wrapped up in each other's arms in bed.

Now, Meredith was finishing the wedding plans (with Izzies' persistent help of course) and getting ready to study for her board exams coming up. Although Derek had wanted to rush and get married that week he almost lost Meredith, she had insisted they wait and have a nice ceremony. That week while they were on vacation they shared some things they would like at the wedding, and started to plan their long waited wedding.

_They lay wrapped up in the blankets in their room at the Inn as the sound of rain pattered against the roof and windows. They had just finished another round of love making and now they were basking in the warmth and laziness of the other's arms. Meredith was tucked in Derek's arms with her head resting on his chest as she ran her fingers across his chest and his ran across her spine. They always shared this deep connection and they enjoyed just lying in the other's arms._

"_I want my family and friends there." Derek said softly._

"_What are you talking about?" Meredith asked in the same softness._

"_Our wedding. The day I vow to love and be with you forever. The day that I've been waiting forever for, I want them to be there." Derek said._

"_Ok, me too." Meredith said with a smile._

"_So, a small ceremony but a nice wedding?" he asked._

"_That sounds good. When should we have it?" she asked._

"_When do you want it?" he asked her. He would do it her way, just as long as he got to marry her._

"_I want the weather to be nice out, but we also have to be able to get time off, especially if there's a honeymoon." She said._

"_Oh, there will definitely be a honeymoon." Derek said with a chuckle as he continued to rub her spine soothingly. "How about after your board exams?" he asked._

"_Derek, that's only a few months away!" Meredith said._

"_So? The people we're inviting either work at the hospital or live in New York. A few months is enough time for my family." He told her._

"_Are you sure? I don't want to be rushing around with my exams while planning the wedding." She told him._

"_Then we'll start planning it now." He told her._

"_Do you think we can really pull it off?" she asked him._

"_I do, we can start talking and thinking about stuff now then when we get home we'll have an idea of what we want and put it all in action. But Meredith if you feel I'm pressuring you, or rushing you at all you need to let me know." Derek told her. He was still worried that somehow he was the reason she didn't keep swimming._

"_Derek, you're not. I want to marry you. As soon as possible, because I want a lifetime with you." She told him with a smile._

"_Ok, then. We'll start planning." He told her._

"_What do we start with?" she asked him. "I've never done this, you have." She said, thinking of Addison._

"_Meredith, I didn't have a say in that wedding. That was Addison's wedding, not mine. I want to be involved in this one because you mean the world to me." He said. _

"_Ok, then let's get started…"_

"_Alright," Derek said sitting up and grabbing a notebook and pen near the bed._

"_We have a time picked out, sort of," Derek said._

"_Yeah, around the exams." She said. "Those are on June 16__th__," she told him._

"_Alright, and that is a Wednesday so then we can have our wedding that Saturday the 19__th__." Derek said. "Is that good?" _

"_That sounds perfect. June 19__th__ will be our anniversary. That sounds like a good date right?" she asked with a smile._

"_The best." He said._

"_Will you be able to remember it?" she asked._

"_Always, I will never forget the day we vow to love, cherish and be together forever." He said with a cheesy smile._

"_Good, you better not." She said with a giggle._

"_So then it's late spring, early summer." Derek said._

"_The weather should be nice out." She told him. "I don't know what your mother would think or approve of, but what if we had it on your land?" she asked._

"_You mean our land?" he asked._

"_Yeah, on our spot, where we go to watch the sunset and where we want to build our house." She said._

"_That would be perfect, although we don't have a house up there yet, so it might not be good for our guests with no bathrooms up there, also we wouldn't have a place to get ready at." He told her._

"_Well, we still have the trailer, and Richard's is still there from when he was having problems with Adele. You guys' can get ready in there and they can be there for bathrooms. I can get ready at the house." She told him._

"_That could work." He said as he wrote it down._

"_Good, because I really wanted it there." She said with a smile. "That's where I fell in love with you." _

"_Really?" he asked._

"_Yes, you took me up there and told me about yourself when we first started this and we made love up there with a picnic and I immediately fell in love." She told him with a smile remembering that night._

"_I remember, but I was already in love with you." He said._

"_Really? When did you know?" she asked._

"_The moment I met you," he responded._

"_Derek, we met at the bar and had a one night stand. You didn't love me then, you just wanted sex." She told him._

"_I knew, right when I looked at you, that you were going to be someone special to me and in my life. And from then on I loved you and couldn't stop thinking of you." He told her._

"_Derek," She said with a sigh as the emotions made her tear up._

"_I love you," he said softly, leaning in to kiss her softly._

"_I love you too," she said in a whisper._

_They shared a few more kisses and touches before getting back to planning their wedding._

"_Who do you want to stand up with you?" she asked him._

"_Mark, Owen, and Alex I guess." Derek said._

"_Why Alex?" she asked._

"_Well, I figured you would have Izzie standing up there with you, so to make it even and all couples that would work best." He told her._

"_Derek, you can have whoever you want up there, I don't care." She told him._

"_We'll see as it gets closer, but that it will be even and fit." He told her._

"_Ok, I'll have Cristina, Izzie and Lexie." She told him._

"_Who do you want as your maid of honor?" he asked._

"_I don't know. Cristina's not really into that whole thing, but Izzie is too into it." Meredith said._

"_Then what about Lexie?" he asked._

"_That could work, but I'll check with Cristina first." She told him._

"_Ok, now all that's left is the flowers, bride paid dresses and the colors we want along with the food and invitations." He listed._

"_Derek, that's a lot." She said with a giggle._

"_Don't worry, we'll get it all worked out when we get home and you'll have my help, and Izzie's." he added with a laugh._

"_Oh, yeah…great." She murmured._

"_It's worth it, isn't it?" he asked._

"_Most definitely." She said with a happy smile as she leaned forward and grabbed the notebook out of his hands, throwing it onto the floor. She then proceeded to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him deeply. _

_He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her as close as he could get her. This was perfection, and their wedding would turn out perfect as well._

"Hey, where were you just now?" she heard a voice ask her as she stood at the nurse's station.

"What?" She asked, looking up to see the voice belonging to her handsome fiancé.

"You were just in a daze, where were you?" he asked. It was late at night and they had gotten out of surgery an hour ago and she was just finishing the chart when he came up.

"Oh, I was thinking of the night we started our plans for the wedding." She told him.

"Seems forever ago, but things are coming along nicely, aren't they?" he asked.

"Yeah, the flowers are ordered, and so is my dress. We're going to the last fitting for the girls this weekend and we're getting people RSVPing already." She told him. She only knew all of this because Lexie and Izzie had taken the reins on planning it. Although, they did let Meredith pick everything out.

"That's good, that means we can spend the night relaxing and not worrying about it." He said.

"I'm just trying to get it all planned before the exams." She told him.

"It will all be taken care of, you can start studying. I'll help." He told her.

"Tonight I just want to relax." She told him as tiredness took over her features.

"We can do that; I'd love to do that. How about a warm bubble bath with candles?" he asked as he linked his arms around her waist. They tried to hold off PDA at work, but since it was late at night and no one was around they took advantage of it.

"That sounds perfect." She said with a sigh.

"Good, let's go." He told her.

After changing into their street clothes they made it hope safely just as a storm started to descend.

"I love when it thunderstorms," Meredith told him as they closed the door behind them and were greeted by a scared Doc.

"What's wrong buddy?" Derek asked as he crouched down to the dog's level. "It's ok; it's just a little noise."

Meredith left the foyer and went to the kitchen to look for food.

"What are you looking for?" he asked her as he stood by the doorway.

"Food, I'm starving." She told him.

"Do you want me to make you something?" he asked.

"Ugh, no. There has to be something in here." She said searching the fridge, when she came up empty she moved on to the freezer. "Ah ha! Ice cream!" she said with a smile.

"Why don't I go get a bath ready for you so then you can enjoy your ice cream in there?" Derek asked.

"I would love you forever," she replied with a smile.

"You better anyway," he said placing a soft kiss on her lips.

Shortly after the bath was ready and Meredith went up stairs to change out of her clothes and to begin relaxing. She entered the small room and saw Derek lighting small tea light candles around the tub that was now filled with soft bubbles that looked welcoming.

"Thank you, Derek," she told him as she reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, beginning to undress.

"God, you're beautiful." He told her with a smile as he watched her undress.

"Are you going to join me?" she asked sweetly as she lowered her body into the tub.

"Do you even need to ask that?" he asked her with a chuckle.

"Don't forget the ice cream." She told him as she motioned towards the strawberry ice cream container sitting on the counter.

"Are you going to share?" he asked.

"Of course," she answered as he sat on the other side in front of her.

She scooped some ice cream out on a spoon and held it out to for him to eat. He gladly accepted the ice cream and returned the favor to her. "That's so good," she said with a soft moan as she relaxed into the tub.

He leaned forward and captured her lips in a deep, tender kiss that stole both of their breaths. "But that's so much better," he told her with a lazy smile.

"True," she said with a smile. "I can't wait to be married to you, Derek." Meredith told him.

"Me neither, Meredith, you have no idea how badly I want to call you my wife. I can't wait to start our lifetime together." He told her honestly.

"I can't wait to be Mrs. Meredith Shepherd." She said with a giggle.

"You're going to take my name?" he asked.

"Yeah, I planned on it, unless you didn't want me to." She told him.

"No, I definitely want you to, that would be perfection." He told her returning to her and kissing her deeply once again.

"We can eat ice cream later," Meredith said, pulling him on top of her, causing water to splash out of the tub and giggles to erupt and echoed off the walls of the small room.

Their wedding would come soon enough, and then they could start their fairy tale ending together.

**There you go!! What'd you think? Hopefully you guys' liked it and will review!!! (:**


	43. Crazy Town

**I know I haven't updated and I really do apologize for that. I'm on summer break now so I'm hoping my updates can be more frequent. I really do appreciate those who read and review, I know I don't always respond to the reviews, but I really do appreciate them. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this update. **

**oooo**

"Derek, calm down you're going out tonight too and Mark planned your bachelor party so you know yours is going to involve many naked girls." Meredith told him at dinner a couple nights before their wedding.

Their bachelor and bachelorette parties were the next night and Derek decided he didn't think Meredith should be looking at any naked men. He was being a cave man, and Meredith was growing tired of it.

"But Mer, you know I don't want to look at them. I much rather be with you." He told her, reaching for her hand.

"Derek, you're being an idiot. You're going to enjoy your party just as much as Mark will. We'll go to our parties and see half naked people and then we'll come home and have dirty sex." Meredith told him.

"I will not enjoy it as much as Mark, he's a pig. I love you, I rather just watch you strip." Derek said, using his cheesy lines.

"Whatever Derek, it's not going to change anything." She said.

"Still doesn't mean I don't like the thought of you looking at other men naked." He told her.

"They won't be naked; they'll just have minimal clothing on." She said with a smirk.

"You're enjoying this, you're planning on soaking up all the naked man you can get tonight, aren't you?" he asked.

"Oh, totally. I'm going to love looking at the sexy men tonight. Might even get lucky with them." She said with a wink and teasing smile.

"Meredith, stop it. You aren't being nice, and you're picking on me." Derek said sounding like a whiny child.

"Oh Derek, calm down. You know I only love you." She said with a laugh at his behavior.

"Ok, just watch how much you drink." He told her like a parent.

"Derek, stop acting like my father." She said with an eye roll as she stood up with her empty plate to carry it to the sink. "Or you might not get any tonight."

"Meredith, I'm not acting like your father. I'm acting like your fiancé who loves you dearly and just doesn't want you to get too drunk." He told her.

"Ok, Derek, whatever you say." She said.

Another month had flown by and the wedding was on its way. Plans had been made and placed, invitations had been sent and people had all RSVP'd, and now they were just waiting for the big day to come.

The board exams had come and gone and all had passed, even George, although his test scores were on the line. They had made it, and now their wedding was coming up, then Derek and Meredith would enjoy the wonderful two weeks of vacation in the beautiful, warm, state of Hawaii.

Derek's family was arriving in a couple days and then by the end of the weekend they would be married and they both couldn't wait.

"Now, I'm going upstairs to get ready for tonight." She told him.

"What's wrong with what you have on?" he asked, looking at her appearance. She was wearing one of her favorite shirts, and one of his because it brought out the color in her eyes and made them twinkle even more, and a pair of jeans.

"Are you serious, Derek?" she asked. "I'm going out for my bachelorette party tonight and you think I should go out like this? I need to look hot." She said.

"You do look hot, for me. I love the way you look." He told her, coming and embracing her as they stood in their kitchen.

"Derek, stop being weird about this. It's just one night of me looking at strippers, which you will be doing as well. Let me go get ready." She said, pushing him away from her.

"Uh, fine." He said letting her walk away and go upstairs.

She had taken a quick shower and was now doing her hair and applying some makeup when Derek came and leaned against the door frame.

"You're doing the leaning, McDreamy thing. What's up?" she asked him.

"What? I'm just watching you. You look beautiful, Mer. I'm so lucky to be marrying you." He said coming to stand behind her and placed his arms around her, pulling her close.

"Yes you are, but I'm lucky too." She told him with a smile, looking at their reflections in the mirror. "We make a cute couple." She said.

"We do, very attractive." He said.

"You're wearing your red good-looking shirt." She noticed.

"Yep, figured if you were going to look hot tonight I might as well too, and well I got lucky in this shirt the last time I wore it, so I thought it might help tonight." He told her with a wink.

"Yeah, but only with me." She added.

"I wouldn't even think or dream of it with anyone else." He told her and she knew he was being honest.

"Good, now I have to go." She told him.

"Uh, why don't we just skip them and go out together." He said.

"Derek is this still about the naked men?" she asked.

"I thought you said half-naked?" he asked.

"Derek…" she said warningly.

"No, it's not. I just rather spend the night with you." He said.

"Well, we will when the parties are over. Just try to have fun, which I think once you get there you'll end up having fun." She said with a smile.

"That's doubtful since my party consists of Mark, Alex, George, Burke, Owen and maybe Richard, which would just be weird if the Chief showed up." He said.

Meredith giggled as she entered their bedroom and placed her black high heels on. "How do I look?" she asked him.

He drank in the sight in front of him. She was wearing a dress he'd never seen before. It was a little black dress that ended right before her knee, and it tied behind her neck in a halter. It showed off cleavage, but not a slutty amount. She looked gorgeous from head to her long legs that ended in her high heels.

"Breathtaking." He said, moving closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her once again and pulled her close, breathing in her lavender smell. God, he loved her. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, not wanting to let her go.

"Derek, we have to go." She told him, breathless.

"Fine, but when we get home I am definitely not wasting time getting that dress off of you." He told her.

"Ok, I love you." She told him.

"I love you too, so much. Be careful." He said, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

Meredith sat bored as Lexie, Izzie, Cristina, and Olivia all enjoyed the show before them. Men were dancing around in too tight thongs and trying to arouse the women who were there watching. Her friends were definitely enjoying it; Meredith was only enjoying the fact that she was getting free drinks.

"Come on, Mer! Have some fun!" Izzie yelled.

"I am," she screamed back, over the loud, pounding music.

"You haven't been looking at the guys much," Lexie added.

"Are you still sulking about leaving McDreamy for a night?" Cristina said.

"I'm fine you guys, I just don't need to stare at naked men in front of me." She said.

"Mer, it's your bachelorette party. You're supposed to get drunk and do inappropriate things to these guys." Lexie said.

"Well, I'm enjoying getting drunk but I much rather be doing inappropriate things to Derek." She told them. They were getting on her nerves. She wasn't messing up their night, they could still gawk and drool over these disgusting, spray tanned, highlighted, fake men. Derek looked better naked then any of these guys. She was ready to go home, but didn't want to end up there too early in case Derek was already home, she really didn't want to admit to him that he was right.

"Gross Mer," Cristina said.

"Well, stop pushing it." Meredith said.

"Fine, what else do you want to do?" Izzie asked.

"This is fine you guys, enjoy the scenery." She said to them as she motioned to the nearest guy trying to dance.

"If you're not having fun Mer, then we're not going to stick around. This is your night." They told her.

"Then, let's go to a movie or something and then get drinks afterward. I don't want to beat Derek home first anyway." She told the group as they stood to leave.

"This is awesome! I love bachelor parties!" Mark cheered as he slipped a couple dollar bills under some girl's skimpy thong. Derek just made a disgusted look at the girls, and therefore they seemed to get the hint and stay away. This night sucked. He didn't want to be here with Mark, George, Alex, Burke and Owen. He much rather be at home cuddling up with Meredith watching a movie, or better yet watching her strip before him.

"Come on, man! Loosen up and have fun, you won't be cheating on her if you have a lap dance, or touch one of these girls." Mark said.

"Leave me alone Mark," Derek said. The thought of some stripper dancing on his lap or stripping directly for him made his stomach churn, not become aroused. This was not the place for Derek. This night was only fun for his buddies, and as long as they left him alone to think of Meredith and sip on his drink, then he'd be happy.

"Stop being a little girl, man up and just enjoy this last night of freedom." He said.

"That's the thing Mark, I much rather be spending this night with my fiancée then sitting here with you. Because, I don't think of this as the last night of freedom because I'm looking at marriage as a prison. I'm looking forward to my future with Meredith. So do me a favor, watch the girls in front of you strip, enjoy yourself and shut the hell up." Derek said annoyed. He knew there wasn't really any good reason to snap like that at Mark, after all he had tried to plan a fun night, but he just didn't want to be there anymore.

Mark shrugged it off, and went back to enjoying the girls as the rest of the guys did, and Derek went back to thinking of Meredith. He wondered if she was having fun. He hoped he felt the same way about this night that he did and hoped she wasn't necessarily enjoying looking at the naked men, but just spending time with her friends. He decided to pull his phone out and checked it. He opened the screen to see the picture of him and her on their vacation at the Vineyard and felt disappointed that she hadn't text him.

He sent her a quick text that read: _Missing you, these girls have nothing compared to you._

He hoped she'd text back soon, but waited patiently for that to happen. He then felt his phone vibrate and flipped the screen to see a picture message containing a picture of a man in a tight thong. Derek's stomach rolled in disgust and slight jealousy until he read her message at the bottom: _Neither do these guys, missing you too!_

A smile graced his lips at her message and he quickly text her telling her he loved her, before he turned to the guys. They were watching three girls spin around a pole, and Derek decided to sneak out. They wouldn't notice him leaving, so he decided to get in his car and drive to Joe's. That would be better than watching strippers and this way he could wait until Meredith's party was done.

"How is the movie theater closed?" Meredith asked a little tipsy. Since she hadn't been enjoying the naked men, she had knocked back drink after drink.

"Because, it's late and for some reason they close." Lexie slurred.

"Uh, now what?" Izzie asked.

"This party sucks," Cristina said.

"Hey! I planned this party!" Lexie said.

"Well, you sucked at it." Cristina said.

Lexie pouted, so Meredith turned to her. "It doesn't suck Lex, I've enjoyed myself." She said.

"When? You didn't even watch the men!" Izzie added.

"So, I've still had fun with you girls. Now, let's just go to Joe's and have some drinks." She told them as they made their journey there.

Derek sat at the bar enjoying a drink when he heard a voice he knew too well. "There you are!" Mark boomed. "Dude, you just left! There were hot girls, and you just left!" he shouted.

"Mark, stop being so loud. I didn't want to be there anymore." He said.

"You are such a girl." Mark told him.

"Shut the hell up, Mark." Derek said as the rest of the guys sat down and got drinks.

They began talking about random things as they drank, and that's when Derek started to enjoy himself. He didn't need strippers; he just needed his friends and a drink to enjoy his bachelor party. Even though he had started to enjoy himself, he still wished he was with Meredith.

Just then the door dinged that a new guest had arrived and they heard loud, girl-like cheers and Derek's ears picked up the sound of a giggle he knew very well. He turned in his seat and his eyes set on his beautiful Meredith.

"Derek!" she screamed loudly. She was a little drunk he noticed. She came to his side and threw her arms around him.

"Hey Mer," he said softly in her ear, breathing her in. The rest of the girls went to their boyfriends as Meredith and Derek continued to greet one-another.

"I missed you," she confessed pulling her face back to look at him.

"I missed you too, tonight sucked." Derek said.

"Same here, although I was going to try to pretend I enjoyed it just to bug you." She said with a teasing smile.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't." he said.

"I really did miss you; those guys didn't look nearly as good as you. You're way bigger than them." She said, but not too loud for everyone to hear.

"Mer, watch what you start, because we're still in public." He said, and she felt what he meant.

"Take me home, Derek." She said in his ear in a sultry voice.

"Yes," he said standing up. They turned to their friends and told them they were leaving.

"What?" they all asked.

"We're done. We're going home." Derek told them.

"Fine, whatever we give up anyway. Go home and be all lovey, dovey." Cristina mumbled.

"Thanks you guys for everything!" Meredith told them before Derek grabbed her hand and pulled her along with him, eager to get his soon-to-be wife home.

They quickly made it home and shed their clothes to enjoy multiple rounds of dirty, crazy sex. Afterward, they lay in each other's arms breathless, spent, and sated.

"I love you, Derek." Meredith told him as she lay on his chest, reading to fall asleep.

"I love you too, Mer." Derek said happy to have her back in his arms. They both fell asleep completely happy. Now, they just waited for their wedding to get here.

**There it is! I think you guys know what chapter is up next. (: Also, for those who are reading my other fic, Holiday Festivities, there will be an update shortly for Father's Day and it's a BIG one! :D**

**REVIEW!**


	44. Days Like This

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! It seems no one has been updating their stories lately so I thought I would. (: Here we go!**

…**..**

Meredith woke up in her bed as the sun streamed through the windows. In Seattle the sun rarely came out and stayed long, but maybe today she would get lucky. It was her wedding day. She was finally marrying the love of her life and taking the next step to receive her happy ending. The bed next to her was empty and the sheets were cool, which just proved that it was her wedding day because Derek would never spend the night apart from her unless there was a reason.

His sisters and her friends had insisted that he spend the night apart from her so then he wouldn't see her before the wedding. Both had tried to fight them on it and refuse to separate, but they were persistent. So Derek slept out in the trailer and she stayed at home sleeping in separate beds. There had been many late night calls when neither could sleep and then finally they both fell into a peaceful slumber until she was awoken by the sun shining in and also her internal alarm clock going off.

"Good morning, Mer!" Lexie and Izzie cheered as they entered the room and Cristina stalked in slowly less energetic than the other two.

"Morning," She said with a smile. The smile couldn't leave her face, she was getting married today!

"Getting cold feet yet?" Izzie asked with a smile.

"No, not at all. I'm surprisingly really ready to do this. I want a forever with him." Meredith said, sitting up in bed.

"That was mushy, Mer, like really mushy." Cristina grumbled.

"Oh, Cristina, she's allowed to be mushy! It's her wedding day!" Izzie cheered.

"Yeah, and besides she's never mushy normally, so she's allowed to today." Lexie added.

"Ok, well we need to start getting ready! I made breakfast, then we can go get our hair and nails done then it'll be about time for us to get dressed and get to the land." Izzie told Meredith.

"Ok, I'm just going to get dressed and meet you guys down there." Meredith said standing up from the bed.

Izzie and Lexie left the room leaving Cristina behind. "Are you sure you really want to do this?" Cristina asked.

"Yes, Cristina. I don't need you to try to talk me out of this. I want this. I want a marriage and life with Derek. I love him. No one has ever made me feel the way he does." Meredith told her.

"Ok, now the mushiness is getting annoying." Cristina grumbled as she left the room and Meredith giggled as she entered the bathroom to shower and get dressed.

Once she was out of her shower, she grabbed her cell phone and called Derek.

"Hey beautiful, not getting cold feet now are you?" Derek asked with a chuckle.

"No, I'm not. I'm excited and extremely happy. It's starting to freak Cristina out." Meredith said with a giggle as she sat on her bed.

"Good, how is my beautiful bride today?" he asked. He had just woken up and was just about to call her. He was laying in bed thinking of her and how badly he wanted to talk to her. And then, just as if she had been thinking the same thing, she called him. He couldn't wait to marry her.

"I'm great. I get to marry the love of my life today. And I also get a delicious breakfast soon, and later I get pampered with a manicure and pedicure along with my hair done. So, I'm great." She said with a smile.

"Really? The breakfast can't be as good as mine." He said.

"Well, it never is, but it'll do." She said.

"Hmmm…I'll make my wife breakfast tomorrow morning." He said with a smile.

"That sounds amazing." She said.

"What? Breakfast or being my wife?" He asked.

"Both, but definitely the wife part." She said and they enjoyed the comfortable silence that lingered as they both thought of their life after this day. "You know, I was never this kind of girl." She said.

"I know, the manicure and pedicure and getting your hair done…so not you." He said.

"Well yeah that, but I also meant the happy part. I was never the kind of girl to look forward to my wedding day, or happiness, or fall in love. But I have." She told him.

"No regrets?" he asked, worried of how she was bringing this back up.

"None, I'm ready for this. I love you Derek." She told him.

"I love you too," he said.

"What are you doing today before you get ready?" she asked.

"Well, Mark is coming over and we're going to go fishing for a couple hours and enjoy the wilderness. Be men, then we'll go back to the trailer and get cleaned up and get dressy. Just in time for me to marry the love of my life." He said.

"Sounds good," she said with a smile.

"I can't wait to marry you, Meredith Grey." He said softly.

"I can't wait to marry you either, Derek Shepherd." She said softly. "I better go before the girls come up here and yank the phone from me. I'll see you soon and then we can get married." She told him.

"Can't wait. I love you, so so much." He said sincerely.

"Love you too," she said before she ended the phone call. She stood up and started her day, the day that she would get married.

…**.**

"Derek!" Mark yelled as he threw open the trailer door.

"Mark, good morning to you too." Derek said with a chuckle as his friend came in the trailer.

"Getting cold feet?" Mark asked as he entered the small trailer.

"Never, not with Mer. She's what I've been waiting forever for." Derek said.

"God, you're such a girl. I don't know if I could ever get married." Mark said. "That means only sleeping with one woman for the rest of your life, unless you have an open marriage. You and Mer having an open marriage?" Mark asked.

"Hell no, she's mine. All mine, no one else's. Anyways, when you're really in love and find the right person you don't want anyone else. Just her. That's how I feel about Mer. No one else will ever touch her again." Derek said, with a hint of possessiveness.

"Damn, I was going to maybe hook up with her." Mark joked.

"Shut the hell up Mark," Derek said.

"Chill, I'm just joking." Mark said.

"Well, don't." Derek said. "You already slept with my first wife; you don't get to sleep with this one. Not now, not ever."

"I'm sorry Derek, are you ready to go fishing?" he asked.

"Are you going to stop talking about Mer that way?" Derek asked.

"Yes, I promise. I would never do anything with or to her Derek. I know how you feel about her. I'm happy for you man, you found your true love or whatever." Mark said.

"Let's go fish." Derek said standing up deciding to ignore Mark. He knew his friend was a man whore, he also knew that he would never do anything to Meredith. But most important, he knew Meredith would never be unfaithful to him or hurt him in anyway.

…

Meredith's nails were done, her feet had been scrubbed and painted a pretty soft color to match her lavender flowers, and her golden hair rested in curls against her shoulders. All that was left for her to do was to get dressed in her beautiful dress. The day had been perfect, but she couldn't wait to just walk down the aisle and marry Derek.

"Meredith, it's time to get in your dress." Izzie said to her as she carried the gown over to her friend. They were getting ready at their home, and were currently in Meredith's bedroom where there was a full length mirror in the corner of the room.

Izzie unzipped the bag to reveal Meredith's dress. The dress was strapless with a flower on the waistline with a sweep train. Underneath the bust line was a piece of fabric that wrapped around the waist, and then allowed the dress to go out from there. It was beautiful, and Meredith would look stunning with her blonde hair cascading around her bare shoulders, and her skin tone against the white dress.

A necklace lay placed around her neck with diamond crystals all along it and a diamond pendant in the middle. It wasn't flashy or big, it was just perfect and it had been a gift from Derek to her. She had her something blue; a post it note that Derek had left her one morning with the simple three words, 'I love you'. She borrowed a bracelet from Izzie that matched her necklace, and she was wearing Derek's mother's ring which was old, yet beautiful. She was ready.

"Meredith, you look beautiful." Lexie said as they all took in the happy look on Meredith's face.

"Thank you," Meredith said softly as she stood in front of the mirror looking over her appearance. She looked like she belonged in one of those princess movies Derek's niece made her watch.

"Girls, do you mind if I speak with Meredith real quick?" Carolyn Shepherd asked, appearing from the hallway. Meredith knew his family was in town, they arrived in town late last night and this was the first time Meredith had seen his mother.

The other girls cleared the room and just left Meredith and Carolyn alone. "How are you dear?" Carolyn asked. A lot had happened since they last saw each other when Derek and Meredith were in New York. The engagement, the ferry accident, and so much more.

"I'm great. A lot has happened since we last saw you, but we've gotten through it and now I can't wait to marry Derek. Have you seen him today? Is he ok, he's not getting cold feet is he? Cause I don't think I could make it through him leaving me at the altar." Meredith said, freaking out.

"Oh no dear, I have seen him and he's just as excited as you. I'm glad you guys got through everything. Derek had called me during your accident and I must say you had us all worried. I was ready to get on the red eye and fly out here." Carolyn said.

"That's so sweet of you, but I am glad you didn't waste taking the trip out here. I was fine, just an accident caused by a scared patient. I'm to have worried you." Meredith said.

"I would've worried no matter what. You're a daughter to me, Meredith. And Derek called me broken down and sobbing, I've only heard my son sob once before and those circumstances were fearful. He was thinking the same outcome would come to you as his father." Carolyn said.

"I know. I didn't mean for that to happen. I would never willingly leave Derek; I know he was torn apart. I would be too." Meredith said.

"It was an accident dear, and I'm glad everyone is ok again. Now, are you ready to walk down that aisle?" she asked with a smile, brightening the mood.

"I am. I can't wait to be Derek's wife." Meredith said with a wistful smile.

"He can't wait either, believe me, he's had this planned since you came and visited us." Carolyn said.

"I'm so thankful you guys have welcomed me into your family, I know I'm not your girl-next-door material." Meredith said.

"Meredith, you fit right in with this family. Everyone loves you, believe me." Carolyn said. "Like I said, I think of you as my daughter already, the only thing that separates you from my children is that you don't call me mom." Carolyn said.

"I'll try to, soon." Meredith said.

"Don't worry, dear. Whenever you're ready." Carolyn said.

"Thank you, I guess we better get going right?" Meredith asked with a smile.

"Yes, we have a very anxious man waiting for us on your guys' lovely land." Carolyn said as they exited the bedroom and made their way downstairs and eventually to the moment Meredith and Derek would legally become husband and wife.

…..

Derek stood at the end of a make-shift aisle in the middle of their land. They were right where they planned on building the house. The perfect house that would see them go through the first years of marriage together, the house that would watch them attempt parenthood together and watch as they aged and lived their lives together and in love.

Everyone was seated and he was anxious to see Meredith come down the aisle. Everyone was sitting on white chairs placed in front of him, and flowers decorated the seats and lawn. The pastor was standing in the middle of the aisle as Mark, Owen and Alex stood to Derek's left. The music began and Izzie and Cristina walked down the aisle and finally Lexie followed. The music changed to announce that the bride would be next and everyone stood and watched for her to appear.

Although Richard had caused problems in Meredith's life before, he was now at her side to give her away. She turned the corner and Derek's eyes immediately locked on hers'. She was beautiful. Her hair was shining in the soft sunlight and her green eyes sparkled more than he had ever seen, her dress was beautiful, and showed some of the curves he memorized, she was breathtaking and he was all his.

Richard and Meredith made it to his side and he took Meredith's hand, pulling her near him. "You look so beautiful," Derek told her in a whisper.

"Thank you, you look pretty nice yourself." She said with a wink. "Let's get married."

"I can't wait another minute." Derek said before turning to the pastor and they began the ceremony.

The pastor talked about the wonderful ways love worked and how marriage is something to take seriously. He continued talking, but Meredith and Derek just got lost in each other's eyes and their thoughts took them elsewhere.

They said a few short vows. Vowing to always love, be faithful and care for the other. Derek promised to never let her run, to remind her everyday about their love and relationship if she were to get Alzheimer's and to always love her, even when he hated her. Meredith promised to always love him and take care of him when he was old, smelly and senile. She also promised to never let him forget that she loved him. With the exchange of the rings and a few soft words of love they sealed the ceremony and promises with a kiss.

"I love you, more than anything in the world." Derek said to her in a soft voice once they were done kissing.

"I love you too; I'm never going to stop." Meredith said to him.

"Good, let's go be husband and wife and celebrate with our friends." Derek said.

They moved everyone to a tent they had set up where there were tables and food set up. A little dance floor had been set up and a DJ was hired to play some music.

Everyone filed in and Meredith and Derek were announced for the first time as husband and wife. Everyone ate and enjoyed their meals and then the dance floor was open. The DJ called Meredith and Derek to the floor for them to share their first dance as husband and wife.

"I'm kinda scared to see what song you picked to be our first," Meredith said with a giggle. This night had been perfect. She couldn't ask for a better man to be at her side, and she was so incredibly in love with the man at her side.

"You'll know it when you hear it, you trust me right?" he asked her as he brought her close in the middle of the dance floor before the song started.

"With my whole heart and more." Meredith said with a smile.

"Good," Derek said as the first opening notes started.

It was the song they had listened to in the car when they were in New York meeting his family.

I'm gonna be here for you baby  
I'll be a man of my word  
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard  
I wanna sleep with you forever  
And I wanna die in your arms  
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

"Derek, you picked the song we listened to in the car at your mom's." she said with a smile.

"I thought of you the first time I ever heard this song, Mer. I want to die in your arms, and I want to sleep with you forever, and I promise to always be here for you. Those are all the promises I've made to you, and this song fits all of them." Derek told her softly as he swayed to the music with her held tightly in his arms. Her head was rested on his chest and he couldn't imagine anything better than this moment, ever.

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I wanna honor your mother  
I wanna learn from your pa  
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw  
I wanna stand out in a crowd for you  
A man among men  
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

We'll follow the rainbow  
Wherever the four winds blow  
And there'll be a new day  
Comin' your way

I'm gonna be here for you from now on  
This you know somehow  
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now  
And I'm gonna make you a promise  
If there's life after this  
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us  
I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you  
And I'll win your trust making memories of us

They held each other throughout the whole song and everyone was caught up in their love. All it took was one look at the happy couple and anyone could see how much in love they were.

"I love you," Meredith told Derek as the song came to an end.

"I love you too, Meredith Shepherd." He told her with a cheesy grin on his face. He loved calling her that. "Are you sure you want to take my name?" he asked.

"Yes, it might be confusing at work, so people can still call me Grey, but I want to be your wife completely and take your name. It'll be good when we have kids too this way." She said with a smile.

"God I am so lucky to have you." He said with a smile as he held her tighter and kissed her soundly.

"Hmmm, me too." Meredith hummed in appreciation. "But I'm ready to start our honeymoon." She said with a sly smile.

"Oh, you have no idea Mrs. Shepherd." He said before kissing her again.

"Then, let's leave or tell them to leave. I want to be alone with my husband." She said stubbornly.

"Maybe I can get mom or our sister's to." He said.

"I like the sound of that," Meredith said.

"What?" he asked.

"Our sisters, it means I belong in a family now." She said.

"You do, Mer, you belong in my family. Our family now. You're officially a Shepherd sister." He said with a smile as he made his way to his mom with his wife's hand in his. His _wife_. He loved the way that sounded.

"Hey mom, thank you so much for everything you've done for us today." Derek said coming up to his mom and sisters.

"Oh, you're welcome dear. You guys were so beautiful today. Very much like my wedding day to your father. You can tell you guys' are going to last." She said with a warm smile.

"Thanks mom," he said.

"He would've been so proud of you today Der," she said with a smile. He felt Meredith squeeze his hand at the mention of his father and he squeezed her hand back.

"I know, thank you again Ma," he said with a tearful smile at the mention of his dad.

"Well, I'm guessing you guys want to be alone right?" Kathleen asked.

"Actually, we really do. We were wondering if you guys could do something about that." Derek asked.

"Sure, we'll take care of everything here; you guys can escape and head to the house. It's closer to the airport for tomorrow anyway." Nancy said and the rest of his sister's nodded.

"Ok, thank you."

"Meredith, we're so happy you're finally a Shepherd sister with us now!" Sarah said as she hugged her. The rest of the sister's hugged her as well and they all expressed how excited they were to have another sister.

"I'm very thankful to have you guys' as my sisters now." Meredith said, "And a new mom to go along with it." Meredith said, turning to Carolyn.

"Oh, Meredith." Carolyn said as tears appeared in her eyes.

"I can still call you that, right?" Meredith asked.

"Oh, yes, of course! Come here," Carolyn said, pulling her new daughter into her arms.

Derek stepped back and watched as his mother and sisters welcome Meredith with open arms, eager to accept her into the Shepherd family.

"Ok, sorry to interrupt but I would like to escape with my wife," Derek said, still amazed at how amazing it was to describe Meredith as his wife.

"Of course dear, you guys enjoy yourself in Hawaii." Carolyn said with a smile.

"Take appropriate pictures please so we can see them when you get home!" Jane said with a smile.

"We will," Derek said with a chuckle before they said their final goodbyes to everyone and left for their Seattle home.

"I can't wait till we plan our house now," Meredith said.

"Me too, but first let's enjoy our wedding night." Derek said as they entered their bedroom and he pulled her close, kissing her passionately and leading her to their bed as she giggled happily.

They were getting their happy ending after all.

…..

**There we go! It's kinda long, but such an important chapter! It's great to see how far they've come in their relationship throughout the story. Not sure how much longer I'm going to keep it going, I may just post an epilogue on here after this chapter and be done, or I might continued a little more. Not sure yet. Let me know what you think and that may just make up my mind. (: Thank you for reading as always!**

**Melissa**


	45. Only You Can Love Me This Way

**I know it's been forever, and I also know that you guys' asked me to continue this. But I have neglected it pretty much all summer and I feel horrible about that. I also can't say it'll improve because well I'm going into my senior year in high school and I am taking a college class as well and I also work. So I'm not sure I'll be able to update. I've put a lot of thought into this and I love Meredith and Derek and I love the way I've written this and them because they are adorable, but this is going to be the last chapter. I think the way I'm ending it will be very good and you guys' will hopefully be happy. When I started this story it was after watching it and I just got irritated with the way Shonda had them break up and I wanted to write the way I wish it had gone. So, I've done that and I've repaired them in my own way and had them go through their own problems and I've had Meredith fix herself and now she's getting her happy ending and so I think it's time to end it. So this is the last chapter, sigh, but I think you guys' will read more from me with this couple in the future. (:**

It was their second anniversary and Derek had decided to celebrate it as if it were just as important as their wedding day. In his eyes, every day that he woke up next to Meredith Shepherd was the best day of his life and he captured every second of it. This morning was no different as he woke up and felt the sun on his face before he opened his eyes and saw that the sun was shining in through the blinds. He looked down at the soft, warm body in his arms and smiled a broad, cheesy smile at his wife in his arms. Her blond hair was lying on her pillow as her hand rested on his chest. Her head also rested on his chest, right where his heart was, the very heart that was captivated by her over two years ago and beat purposely just for her.

He tried to exit the bed in a swift, gentle way to not wake her and walked carefully towards the door. He made his way downstairs to the kitchen in their house and turned on the coffee before pulling out eggs, bacon, and bread to start to prepare a breakfast for Meredith to enjoy in their king size bed.

Once they got married and returned from their amazing honeymoon in Hawaii, they started their plans for a house. Meredith's requests were for it to be built on their cliff, for there to be a wrap-around porch that had a swing on it, and for there also to be a balcony off of their room, and the last request that Derek was more than happy to grant was a large bathtub for their bathroom that both could fit in a enjoy after long hours at the hospital. All her wishes were granted since Derek loved every idea and he also wanted her to have everything she wanted. This would be their home for the rest of their life and they needed to make it perfect.

Five bedrooms were built, along with theirs, to accommodate their children and since they weren't sure how many they would actually end up having, they just decided on the solid number four and if they didn't have that many kids then they could always turn a room or two into guests' bedrooms. If Derek had any say in the matter then they would fill every one of those rooms with beautiful Shepherd babies and he was positive that would happen. Down stairs contained the playroom they always discussed, a big office that held two desks for Meredith and Derek. A small library was between the office and playroom and they also had a living room, kitchen, bathroom and dining room on the bottom floor. It was perfect. From the hardwood floors, to the paint colors Meredith and Derek agreed on it was perfect and they both loved the finishing project.

This would be the home they would start their family in and this would also be the home they lived in till they died, it was their home forever. Just the thing Derek had always dreamed of.

He cracked some eggs and scrambled them in a bowl with milk and butter before pouring them into a frying pan and cooking them to Meredith's preference before placing them on a plate and adding the bacon he had fried as well. He finished placing some toast next to her food and added a glass of orange juice and mug of coffee on the tray before heading upstairs with it. He loved surprising her with breakfast in bed. He entered the room and saw that she was still sleeping, but more on his side, and her head was buried in his pillow. He instantly smiled at seeing her lying peacefully and he almost didn't want to wake her up. She looked so rested and sweet lying there, but he was excited to start celebrating their anniversary.

He set the tray on the floor before crawling back in bed and resuming his position. He held her and softly started rubbing his arm up her side, seeing if she would begin to wake. "Mer," he whispered in her ear.

She didn't stir. "Meredith, wake up." He said in a louder whisper.

She began to wake and opened her eyes to see his piercing blue eyes staring down at her. "Hmmm, good morning." She said with a smile.

"It's a very good morning," Derek said, placing a kiss on her forehead.

"Why is it such a good morning?" she asked, playing dumb just to annoy him. She knew it was their second anniversary, and she could already smell the food sitting on his side of the bed on the floor. She was just as happy to be celebrating this day as he was; she just wanted to poke some fun at him.

"You don't remember?" he asked, not sure is she was serious or joking.

"I don't remember what? Is something going on today?" she asked.

Derek began to worry, if she didn't remember their second anniversary then what was to say she wouldn't forget their tenth, or twenty-fifth, or fiftieth. "Mer, today's our anniversary. I thought it'd be as important to you as it is to me and you'd remember. I guess not." Derek said, deflated and upset. He stopped rubbing her arm and he seemed more tense. He started to pull away from her, when she grabbed his arm.

"Derek, I'm sorry. I was just kidding! I knew all along that it was our anniversary. I wouldn't forget that. June 19th is the best day to get married, and I knew it the moment I woke up. I promise you I didn't forget. I'm sorry; I didn't know my joke would hurt you that much. Please forgive me, I don't want to ruin this perfect day." Meredith said, worried he wouldn't forgive her.

"I am so glad to hear that. It's ok, Mer. I just…I don't want us to become one of those couples who forgets about their anniversaries and just acts like it's another day and that it doesn't matter." He said with a tone that led Meredith to believe that had happened to him before.

"Is that what happened with you and Addison?" she asked.

"Yeah, pretty much. We just didn't care anymore and it became just another day and we just went out to dinner. There was no emotion behind the day…but I don't want to talk about her on our anniversary. This is our day and I want to spend it just relaxing and loving you." Derek said.

"I'm sorry, Derek. That won't be us, I promise. I will always love you and I will always remember this day, because two years ago today I married the love of my life and I never thought that would happen for me." She told him, rising up to kiss him soundly on the lips. She loved kissing him and would never get tired of it. She pulled back and gave him a smile, which he returned with his McDreamy one.

"I made you breakfast," Derek told her as he looked at her lovingly.

"I know, I can smell it," she said with a giggle.

"It was supposed to be a surprise." He told her.

"It was, and I love when you make me breakfast in bed." She told him as she watched him bring the tray up onto the bed in between them so they could both enjoy the breakfast.

After enjoying the meal and sharing food in a cute coupley way, Derek lowered the tray back to the floor and pulled her close.

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked her.

"Hmmm, lay in bed with you all day." Meredith answered.

"That sounds perfect, but you don't want to do anything special?" he asked her.

"No, being with you alone, uninterrupted is special and I love spending time with you. We could just spend all day in this watching movies and having sex and I'd be perfectly happy." She said with a smile.

"Maybe we could make a baby today." Derek said hopeful. They had briefly discussed trying but not making it a thing they stressed over. Making love was always a special thing between them and they never wanted that to feel like they were pressured or a chore. If he happened, it would happen. They just couldn't wait, and really wanted it to happen.

"That would be perfect." Meredith said, climbing on top of him and kissing him passionately. "You still want my crappy babies?" Meredith asked, after coming up for air.

"They won't be crappy, but yes I still want your babies. More than anything." He told her with a smile as he ran his hands through her hair and pulled it away from her face as his hands cupped her beautiful face. He loved this woman more than anything in the world. He definitely wanted to be the father of her children.

They lost themselves in passionate second anniversary/baby making sex for the rest of the day.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey," Meredith said in a quiet tone as she entered Derek's office two weeks later. The hospital had been crazy and chaotic all morning and she hadn't seen him since she kissed him goodbye earlier. Now, she finally had some time to see him, she just wished she wasn't feeling so crummy.

"Hey, are you ok?" he asked, instantly picking up on her not feeling good. She looked pale and he didn't like seeing her looking so ill.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Busy morning, that's all." She told him as she rested on the couch and could hardly hold her head up. She rested it against the back of the couch and hoped to catch some sleep.

"Mer, you don't look too good." He told her, moving from behind his desk to sit next to her on the couch. He rested his hand on her forehead and felt that it wasn't too much warmer than normal.

"Gee, thanks, Derek. Glad to see my husband doesn't find me so attractive." She said in a hurt tone.

"Mer, that's not what I meant. You look beautiful, you always do, but you don't look like you feel good." He told her, just before she jumped off the couch and dashed for his adjoining bathroom where she emptied the remains of her stomach into the toilet. Derek rushed after her and held her hair so it would stay out of the way, while also rubbing small circles into her back to help calm her and add a soothing feeling to her aching back.

"Mer, you shouldn't be working. You need to get some rest, do you think it's the flu?" he asked her.

"Derek, it's not really flu season." She told him. It was still June.

"Well, what else could it be?" he asked.

"The last time I felt like this was when my appendix was acting up, and I got that removed. It can't bother me anymore." She told him.

"Mer, what if…uh, what if you're pregnant?" he asked her. How could they not think of that first? They had been trying, sure not that long but it was possible.

"What? Derek…no, that's…uh…no it couldn't be, right? I mean we haven't been trying for long." She told him. She would love it if she was pregnant, but she just didn't want to get her hopes up.

"Mer, it only takes once. When was your last period?" he asked her, sitting down next to her on the bathroom tile.

"Uhm…" she said, calculating in her head the last time she had her period. "I…Derek, I missed my period. It was supposed to start last week." Meredith told him, looking at him hopefully.

"Ok, you know what we need to do instead of sit here and get our hopes up? We need to go to the clinic or an empty exam room and I'll take your blood." He told her, grabbing her hand before standing up.

They made it to an empty exam room without being noticed and Derek grabbed what he needed before going to her side as she sat on the table. "Mer, I know how much you hate this, so just think of what our baby will look like when we have one or talk to me." Derek told her as he got ready to insert the needle into her vein in her right arm.

"Ok, well if it's a girl she'll have curly hair, probably dark hair like yours. Blue eyes, like yours. The McDreamy smile, like you. All our children will look just like you. Because your Shepherd sperm is like more dominant or whatever and no one will even know that our kids are mine too." She said, with a small pout. She hadn't even realized that Derek had already drawn a vile of blood.

"Done, and no our children will not just look like me. They'll have characteristics like you, and we'll probably have them with your eyes or your smile. They won't just look like me, Mer." He said with a chuckle.

"I didn't even feel that, Der. You're good." She said with a smile.

"And that's not the only thing I'm good at." He told her, adding a wink.

"Yeah, especially if you managed to knock me up already." She told him with a laugh. "Don't forget to mark it Jane Doe. We don't need the hospital gossip mill knowing our future before we even do." She reminded him. He marked it and they decided to split up and allow him to deliver the vile and they would meet in his office once he had the results back.

He came up to the office thirty minutes later and had the un-opened results in his hand. He found Mer napping on the couch and he gently woke her before sitting next to her and letting her lean against him. "Are you ready, Mer?" he asked anxious and excited.

"Yeah, I am. Let's find out." She told him containing her own excitement.

Derek opened the results and Meredith and Derek both looked to see the results.

"Derek," Meredith said in a sigh.

"Oh, Mer." He said pulling her close and kissing her. He pulled back and looked her in the eyes, seeing tears lining her eye lids. "We made a baby." He said in a soft whisper as his own eyes filled with tears and a huge smile graced his features.

"Yeah, we did. We made a baby." Meredith said with a soft sigh or happiness. She couldn't contain her happiness or the smile on her face. She placed her hand on her stomach and beamed at Derek. Their baby was in there.

Derek's hand followed hers' and rested on top of it. He loved knowing that their love had made a baby that was perfectly theirs. This was the future he had always dreamed of, and he couldn't think of any other perfect woman to be sharing it with.

"Derek, I promise I will do everything in my power to keep our baby safe and healthy. I won't turn out like my mother; I'm going to try my hardest to be a good mom." Meredith told him, her insecurities coming through.

"Oh, Mer. I have no doubt about that at all. I know you're going to take care of yourself and our baby and I'm going to help. I'll make sure you eat all the healthy foods you need to and I'll feed you every craving you want and I'll do anything you need me to. I love you Mer, and I know you won't turn out like your mother. You have me, a devoted and faithful and loving husband to stand beside you during all of this. I'm not leaving, you or our child. Ever. I love you too much for that to happen." Derek told her, wiping away the tears that fell onto her cheeks and kissed her passionately. She would be an amazing mother, he knew it.

A couple days later the couple arrived early at the hospital to sneak up to the maternity floor so Meredith could be checked out and they could start preparing for their baby. After entering and being taken into the exam room, Meredith changed into a gown so Dr. Hackel could examine her.

"Everything looks great, Meredith. You're healthy and I don't see any reason why you should have any problems during your pregnancy. By everything you told me earlier and doing the math, it seems that you guys conceived on June 19th and your due date is March 12th." She told them, they shared an amused look and tried to hold their laughter until the doctor left. "I'll write you a prescription for some prenatal vitamins and then you guys' can make another appointment for later on." She told them before exiting.

"June 19th, another reason to celebrate Derek told her as she hopped off the table gently and began to change. The doctor had answered all their questions and did a general check up and informed her on everything that would be happening. Even though hearing about all the morning sickness, dizziness and other symptoms she'd be going through, it was all worth it to her. As long as their end result was a cute, healthy baby, they'd be happy.

XXXXXXXXXX

Eighteen weeks later they found themselves back in the same exam room for another check up. They'd had many over the last five months and now they were excited to be there to find out the sex of their beautiful baby. The last five months had been tiring, and the morning sickness wasn't fun, but Derek had always held her hair and fixed her anything she wanted to eat. He continued to be attentive and fixed all her weird food cravings. He had also dealt with her up and down moods and rubbed her feet whenever they ached.

"You're not going to give me any attention after this baby is born," she said jokingly one night as he paid attention to her right foot, getting out all the aches and knots.

"What? Of course I will! I'll still love you, and pamper you with my love and give you attention, Mer. Just because we're having a baby doesn't mean that once he comes I'm going to ignore you and we're not going to act like husband and wife anymore. I love you, now and forever. That's never going to change." He told her, forgetting about her feet and making his way up the bed next to her. He cupped her head in his hand and leaned down to place a kiss on her lips, then continued to kiss her cheeks, jaw, earlobe, and collarbone and pulse point.

"Good, and I won't ever stop loving you either. And you don't know if it's going to be a boy." She told him.

"I'm thinking it is." He told her with a smile.

"You're just wishful thinking. I think it'll be a girl. You need a princess." She told him.

"I already have a princess," he told her with a cheesy smile.

"Oh my gosh, that was the cheesiest thing you've said and you referred to me as a princess!" she said, emitting her giggle into the air around them and making Derek join her. He loved that giggle. If they did have a girl, he prayed she had her mother's laugh.

"I love you Meredith Shepherd." Derek said returning to kissing her which turned into making love to her.

Meredith pulled herself out of her flashback memory and turned to Derek. "We're going to find out if I'm right or you are today." She said with a smile.

"Princess or fisherman." Derek added with a smile.

"Which one do you want?" she asked him.

"Both, but right now as long as he or she is healthy and you remain healthy, that's all I care about." He told her, kissing her forehead.

The doctor knocked on the door before entering and greeting them. "You guys' ready to see if your baby is a girl or a boy?" she asked them with a friendly smile.

"Yes," they both said in unison.

"Ok, let's see here." Dr. Hackel said before pulling up Meredith's shirt and applying gel onto it and then running the ultrasound wand across her stomach before finding the right area. She showed them the screen as the _whoosh whoosh whoosh_ sound filled the air and brought tears to both their eyes. She paused on the area that would show the sex and Meredith and Derek both gasped as they recognized right away what they would be having.

"I totally win," Meredith gloated as she laughed. They were having a perfect baby girl.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

March 12th came fast and all the decorating and preparation had been done. The nursery was painted a soft lavender and had matching blankets in the hardwood oak crib. The matching changing table was placed next to the window and was already filled with diapers, creams, wipes, and baby clothes. The rocking chair was on the other side of the window and everything looked perfect and cute. They were ready for their baby.

It was early in the morning, a little after three, when Meredith awoke and felt a cramp in her lower stomach. She winced and placed her hand there. "Baby girl, stop kicking. Let mommy sleep." She told her. The pain continued and Meredith began to worry. What if it wasn't her kicking? What if something was wrong? Meredith urgently turned to Derek and began to wake him up. "Derek," she said.

"Hmmm…is it another food craving?" Meredith asked.

"No, Derek. Wake your ass up. I think something's wrong." She said, and Derek sprang up and was in a sitting position in seconds. He looked at Meredith and saw tears in her eyes along with worry. "I can't lose her, Derek. I've tried so hard to be a good mom to her already. We can't…we can't lose her." She cried in hysterics.

"Calm down, Mer. Calm down. Tell me what you're feeling." He said, trying to remember all he learned about pregnancy throughout the last nine months along with the years in medical school.

"It's like a cramping feeling. Or a sharp pain. It's hard to explain. I thought it was her kicking, but it's not." She told him.

"Mer, does it feel like you're in labor?" he asked.

"How am I supposed to freaking' know? I know you think I was a whore before you, but I've never been pregnant and in labor!" She yelled irritated and in pain.

"Mer, I'm sorry. And I never thought you were a whore." He said, trying to calm her. "Let's go to the hospital." He told her. They already had the bag and car seat in the back of their SUV and now it seemed time to go to the hospital.

"I'm scared, Derek." Meredith said, tears cascading down her cheeks.

"Mer, I just think you're in labor. Let's just go to the hospital and see for sure." He told her helping her get ready.

On the way there in the ferry Meredith turned to Derek with a panicked look. "Mer, what's wrong?" he asked her.

"I think my water just broke." Meredith answered.

Derek brought her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her. "We're almost there Mer." He told her. "We're having a baby." He told her with a smile.

"Yeah, we're having a baby." She answered, seeming to calm down a bit.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Twelve hours later a baby girl exercised her lungs as her parents welcomed her into the world. There had been no complications and both Meredith and the baby were healthy. Derek was sitting in the chair next to Meredith's bed as she slept and talked to his new baby girl.

"Hey Princess, Mommy and Daddy are so happy you're finally here. We've talked about you for awhile now. Even before we were married we talked about the kids we'd have. You're perfect. Just like your mother. You look just like her too, and I know I'm going to have to keep the boys away from you when you get older. Your mom attracted a lot of guys' too, she still does, but I'm the lucky guy that gets to be with her every day for the rest of my life. You need to find a guy like that, but not until you're like forty because there is no way I'm letting you date before then." He said to his sweet baby girl as she lay in his arms. Her hair was blond and wavy just like Meredith's and they went along with her cute button nose and green eyes that were just like Meredith's as well. She was a clone of Meredith, and he loved it.

"Look at your mommy," he said shifting her slightly to see her mom. "She's beautiful, and she went through so much so you could be here right now. She's so worried about being a bad mom to you, but I know she's going to do great. She was great all through the pregnancy and there's no way that's going to change. She's perfect. Incredibly perfect and I love her so much, you have the best mom." Derek whispered softly to their daughter.

Meredith stirred and opened her eyes. "Der," Meredith said softly.

"Hey beautiful," Derek said standing up and getting as close as he could to her bed.

"Is she still ok?" she asked. After they placed her on her chest for her to see and bond for a little bit, they took her away to be tested and in the process Meredith fell asleep.

"She's perfect, Mer, just like her mother." He told her.

Meredith smiled up at him. "Can I hold her?" she asked him.

"Of course," Derek said, placing their daughter in her arms.

"Oh my goodness, she's so beautiful." Meredith said as Derek sat next to her on the bed and looked along with his wife at their beautiful creation.

"She is, she tends to take that after her mother, amongst other things." Derek told her, placing a kiss on her head.

"What else?" Meredith asked.

Derek removed the small hat that rested on the baby's head to reveal little blond peach fuzz. "She has your hair, not mine. She has your eyes, not mine." Derek said, and the baby opened her eyes to reveal her emerald green eyes to her mother. Meredith gasped as she looked at her daughters eyes and felt as if she were looking into her own. "She also luckily got your nose, and the smile is still being debated." Derek said with a chuckle. The baby opened her eyes wider when she heard the familiar sound of her father laughing, and then finally closed them again tired after the exhausting day.

"God, I love her so much, Derek." Meredith said as tears pooled in her eyes and she turned to look at Derek.

"I know you do, I love her too, more than anything. I also love you more than anything. Thank you so much, Mer." He told her.

"For what?" she asked confused.

"Giving me my future. Being my perfect, beautiful, sexy wife. Building a beautiful home with me, and then making a perfect baby girl with me." He told her.

"Oh, Derek, you don't need to thank me for that. If anything I should be thanking you for the future I never knew I wanted."

"We're both thankful." He said, before kissing her. They shared a few more soft kisses and smiles.

"Derek, she needs a name." Meredith reminded him.

"She does." He agreed with a nod.

"How about Grace? And we'll call her Gracie?" she asked, looking down at her baby. She felt and looked like a Gracie.

"That's beautiful. Grace Elizabeth Shepherd." He answered.

"Where'd the middle name come from?" she asked him.

"It's your middle name Mer, she should be named after you." He told her.

"Why?" Meredith asked.

"Because she's a mini you," Derek chuckled. "I told you she wouldn't look just like me."

"You were right, and I like sharing my middle name with her." Meredith said.

"So we have a name." Derek said with a happy sigh.

"We do, you don't think people will think we named her after the hospital though do you?" she asked worried.

"Who cares what people think, and in a way she could be named after it. If it weren't for the hospital we never would've met and fallen in love." He told her.

"We met at Joe's, Derek. Did you forget that?"

"Of course not, but if it weren't for the hospital who knows if we would've seen each other again." He told her.

"True, I hadn't been thinking about the hospital when I came up with the name anyway." Meredith added.

"Then it's perfect." He told her with a smile.

"If we have a boy next we should name him Michael Derek Shepherd. Named after you and your dad." Meredith told Derek after silent moments shared taking in their daughter.

"Mer," Derek said surprised. It had taken him forever for her to agree to a future with him, marriage, a house and kids. Now, after twelve hours of labor and nine months of pregnancy she was already thinking about their other future children. He felt tears spring to his eyes at the mention of his father and Meredith gently cupped his head in a hand before wiping them away and placing a loving kiss on his lips.

"I love you so much Derek Shepherd, and I can't wait to share the rest of my life with you." Meredith told him with a smile and tear shined eyes.

"I love you too, Mer, so unbelievably much. I can't wait to share the rest of my life with you too." He told her in a soft whisper before sealing it with a passionate kiss. This was their family and their life came full circle and the future looked just as perfect. This was their life now, and they wouldn't change it for anything.

**There it is! If you guys' have been reading my Holiday Festivities story then you should recognize what I did. Instead of taking this story down a long journey of them having kids and everything being different I kind of made it to be a story before Holiday Festivities. This leads them through getting together, staying together, moving in together, getting married, having Gracie and then my other story takes you from Gracie being four to them having the second child and naming him Michael  
Derek Shepherd like mentioned above. I thought this would be a good way to end it, and also allow you guys to end up in a way getting a sequel you can read as well. I hope you guys' liked it and aren't mad at me for ending it. Like I said I put a lot of thought into it and spent hours writing this chapter. I feel I'll have arthritis after writing all of this. I'm also sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, it's late and I'm tired. Give me feedback please! Also, I'll try to get an update up for Holiday Festivities for Labor Day! :D **

**I love you guys' for reading this all 45 chapters and I really hope you review this last chapter! You guys' have been great and I still have so ideas for more stories! So stay tuned to that!**

**Thank you so much! I appreciate it!**

**Melissa**


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